疫情持續,但學習不能中斷。
今天與同學分享Presentality最新的寫作技巧分析。
英文寫作絕對不只是將單字句型套用在模板上就好了。
用專業的寫作方法讓你的寫作有意義!
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最近疫情再次高升,駐台灣的Bloomberg 記者寫了一篇文章:
Complacency Let Covid Erode Taiwan’s Only Line of Defense
自滿讓 COVID 侵蝕了台灣唯一的防線
文章:https://bloom.bg/3ywfKA9
我們來看看Bloomberg寫的一篇好文章:
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📌 結構:當調查故事寫
這篇文章讀起來一點都不無聊,不只是因為它攸關我們的社會,也是因為他在結構上,就像一個偵探調查的故事:
1. Opening line: 戲劇性開場,不要無聊
2. Background: 然後再給簡短背景
3. Key moment: 影響後續發展最關鍵的事件
4. Outcome: 這個決定的後果
5. What to do: 國際專家建議應該怎麼做
6. But.....: 可惜,可能做不到
7. Details: 後面的部分,再進入細節
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📌 最好的開頭 = 簡短有力、抓住注意力、又可以做結論
我們先來看開頭三段:
All the virus had to do was get through the border.
Until this week, Taiwan’s Covid-19 containment appeared to be so effective that virtually no other defenses were put in place: few tests, no local surveillance to pick up undetected infection and close to zero vaccination.
Lauded as one of most successful places in the world at containment, a high level of complacency about the risks had set in among both the public and authorities. Covid-19 seemed to be something happening only in the outside world.
如果是我們認識大部分的人來寫,通常會從第二段開始。為什麼?因為總是要解釋背景嘛!而且任何人在研究這個議題,都會從背景開始教育自己,所以就不自覺的從背景寫起。
但他們不這麼做,反而以一個吸引人的方式開頭:
All the virus had to do was get through the border.
這個開頭有幾個優點:
•簡短一行,讓人不會看到一大坨字就不想要繼續看
•有故事性:好像病毒是一個入侵的敵人
•又是結論:怎麼會發生?一旦病毒溜進來了,就會發生
這種是非常理想的開頭:因為就算我沒有時間看剩下的,也會理解到文章的重點:邊境守的很嚴,但是裡面很鬆散。
第一句,下的太好了。
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📌 給一點背景後,馬上提到關鍵一個決定
記者們解釋背景的篇幅,就只有三段。他們很快就鎖定關鍵的一個 (錯誤) 決定:
The virus’s opening was an ill-fated decision on April 15 to shorten quarantine for airline crew to just three days, as carriers struggled to operate their cargo lines with staff undergoing 14-day isolation periods. Infected pilots introduced a more transmissible U.K. variant, whose spread was then accelerated through a network of “hostess bars” -- places both staff and patrons were reluctant to be associated with, making contact tracing more difficult.
如果他們再花 1-2 段解釋背景,文章就會變得有點無聊,會流失讀者。
所以他們在這裡提到關鍵的失策。
📌 Note:寫作語氣相對正式
這幾位記者,也許是受 Bloomberg 整體風格影響,還算正式。
從哪邊看的出來呢?
The virus's opening was an ill-fated decision...
輕鬆口語化的文章,絕對不會用 "ill-fated" (ill 就是生病/不好嘛,fate 就是命運,所以就是「之後的命運不好」的一個決定。這是一個很不錯的字就是了。
另一個例子,看這句:
Infected pilots introduced a more transmissible U.K. variant, whose spread was then accelerated through a network of “hostess bars” -- places both staff and patrons were reluctant to be associated with, making contact tracing more difficult.
哇噻,尤其 "reluctant to be associated with",好。。。委婉啊
怎麼樣寫的平易近人一點?
Infected pilots carried a more transmissible U.K. variant, which then spread quickly through a network of "hostess bars". This also made contact tracing harder — because staff and customers didn't want to admit that they worked at or visited these bars.
稍微長一點,但是用的字都比較直白簡單。
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📌 強調嚴重性
這個失策跟破口,有多嚴重的後果?
Taiwan reported 267 new infections Wednesday, bringing the total over the past few days to 1,291 -- a small number in global terms but an astonishing one in a place that, before May 1, had posted just 1,132 cases during the entire pandemic.
The surge from zero to quadruple digits signals that undetected spread has been occurring for months, and concern is now growing that Taiwan will go the way of other cautionary tales, from the outbreak last year in Australia’s Victoria state that took a brutal three-month lockdown to quell, to Thailand’s ongoing surge driven by prison clusters.
"The surge from zero to quadruple"
這邊,寫的非常好,因為雖然不是真正的 rhyme,還是聽起來很近,所以有節奏感。
"Go the way of other cautionary tales" 又是一個文筆很好的寫法,就是「變得跟那些拿來警惕大家的故事一樣」的意思。
但是記得,別在聊天的時候用這些啊,對方會覺得你很奇怪。
這邊他們把最壞的可能性帶進來:就是台灣可能變得跟那些 cautionary tales 一樣。
這邊也讓讀者緊張起來。
但因為他們寫 "concern is now growing...",又沒有說「誰的 concern」,所以應該要馬上帶具有可信度的 source 進來:
“If they have 300 diagnosed cases, they have 3,000 cases in the community -- they just don’t know it.” said Gregory Poland, a virologist and director of the Mayo Clinic’s Vaccine Research Group. “It’s going to require a hard lockdown, what’s called a circuit-breaker approach, and then getting the vaccine out as quickly as they can.”
這樣就比較有可信度了,也指出一個解決的可能性:lock down,然後疫苗。
但是...
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需要完整分析的同學請留言「看 Bloomberg學資深記者如何寫文章」。
我們每天都在看跟英文溝通/寫作有關的東西,如果想要透過這些「閱讀筆記」跟我們一起看,可在 FB 追蹤我們:https://www.facebook.com/presentality/
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Presentality系列文章:
📌 看貝佐斯致亞馬遜股東的最後一封信,學一些英文寫作小撇步
https://bit.ly/3xCN1cC
📌 英文演講實用的結構與技巧
https://bit.ly/2PHu3Ax
📌 在演講中的四種敘述角度
https://bit.ly/39tNUtv
📌 詩人Amanda Gorman的英文演講技巧
https://bit.ly/39sI3on
📌 從 Most Dangerous Place 文章,看經濟學人寫作邏輯
https://bit.ly/3htqJEs
📌 寫作的終極目標是「提供價值」
https://bit.ly/3yA3gYe
同時也有10000部Youtube影片,追蹤數超過2,910的網紅コバにゃんチャンネル,也在其Youtube影片中提到,...
bloomberg surveillance 在 媽媽監督核電廠聯盟 Facebook 的精選貼文
美國彭博商業週刊專文報導:[ 瑪莉.居禮實驗室中的核廢料至今仍沒有完全解決 除污作業仍就持續進行中/ France Is Still Cleaning Up Marie Curie’s Nuclear Waste ] (08/28/2019 Bloomberg Businessweek)
“Her lab outside Paris, dubbed Chernobyl on the Seine, is still radioactive nearly a century after her death. /她位於巴黎市郊的實驗室,被戲稱作賽納河畔的車諾比,在她逝世將近一個世紀之後仍舊有著放射性輻射污染。”
一世紀以前,瑪莉.居禮發現了鐳元素,之後便在巴黎近郊的一個實驗室持續研究各種放射性元素的性質。
1978年該實驗室關閉之後,實驗過程產生的核廢料至今仍沒有妥善解決。
善後工程最困難的地方在於,當時在實驗工作的主要人員都已經身故。這代表處理機構必須仔細檢查所有溶劑、筆記紙、壁爐、土壤、植物等是否含有放射性。
見微知著;「法國核產業就像一架沒有降落跑道的飛機一樣」綠色和平的Yannick Rousselet說到。「我們便是法國嚴峻的核廢問題的活證明;」該實驗室所在地Arcueil的市長Christian Métairie則說。「我們的狀況讓人懷疑,我國是否有能力應付這個問題。」
France Is Still Cleaning Up Marie Curie’s Nuclear Waste
.Her lab outside Paris, dubbed Chernobyl on the Seine, is still radioactive nearly a century after her death.
by Tara Patel
In 1933 nuclear physicist Marie Curie had outgrown her lab in the Latin Quarter in central Paris. To give her the space needed for the messy task of extracting radioactive elements such as radium from truckloads of ore, the University of Paris built a research center in Arcueil, a village south of the city. Today it’s grown into a crowded working-class suburb. And the dilapidated lab, set in an overgrown garden near a 17th century aqueduct, is sometimes called Chernobyl on the Seine.
No major accidents occurred at the lab, which closed in 1978. But it’s brimming with radioactivity that will be a health threat for millennia, and France’s nuclear watchdog has barred access to anyone not wearing protective clothing. The lab is surrounded by a concrete wall topped by barbed wire and surveillance cameras. Monitors constantly assess radiation, and local officials regularly test the river. “We’re proof that France has a serious nuclear waste problem,” says Arcueil Mayor Christian Métairie. “Our situation raises questions about whether the country is really equipped to handle it.”
Nuclear power accounts for almost three-fourths of France’s electricity, vs. a fifth in the U.S. There’s no lasting solution for the most dangerous refuse from the country’s 906 nuclear waste sites, including some of what’s in Arcueil. Low-level material is to be sent to an aboveground storage site in northeastern France. But radium has a half-life of 1,600 years, and there are traces of a uranium isotope at the Curie annex with a half-life of 4.5 billion years. “France’s nuclear industry is like a plane that took off without a landing strip,” says Yannick Rousselet, a Greenpeace campaign leader......
完整圖文內容請見:
https://www.bloomberg.com/…/france-is-still-cleaning-up-mar…
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