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Trash, the Library and a Worn, Brown Table: The
2019 College Essays on Money
美國清寒高中生的大學申請信選讀

We organize the money in our wallets in units of currency, dollars and cents, bills and coins. 皮夾裡的錢，我們會按貨幣單位、美元和美分、紙幣和硬幣分類整理。

But the money in our heads is a lot harder to arrange, lost as it often is in a haze of volatile emotions, pride and shame, jubilation and despair. 但頭腦裡的錢(思緒)卻難整理得多，迷失在情緒波動、傲慢與羞恥、欣喜與 絕望之中。

Reckoning with these feelings is hard, which is why people don’t talk about them much. Writing about them is even harder. 面對這些感受是困難的，所以人們不太談論它們。要把感受寫下來就更難了。

Six years ago, I started asking high school seniors to send in any college application essay that happened to be about money, work, social class or related topics. Immediately, it was clear that there was plenty we could learn from their writing, as they and their parents prepared to make what may be the biggest financial decision of their lives: where to spend up to $300,000 on a college education. 六年前，我開始向高中畢業班學生徵求關於金錢、工作、社會階級或相關話 題的入學申請信。我很快發現，我們顯然能從他們的寫作中學到很多，這期間他 們和父母正準備做出或許是一生中最大的投資決定：多達 30 萬美元的大學教育 經費要花在哪些地方。

This year’s collection of five essays is a reminder of how rich the idea of money is for the writers who dare to tackle it. 今年的五篇短文告訴我們，對於膽敢提筆去寫的作者，金錢這個話題可以多 麼豐富。

A plumber’s daughter and a young man fascinated with garbage trucks take on jobs that few of their peers would want. A dish washer rides home in the middle of the school night, flashcards in hand. A family gets smaller set against the tableau of its aging furniture. And a Minnesota teenager finds her way, over many years, to a new role in an old place of refuge. 一名管道工的女兒和一個著迷於垃圾車的小夥子做著沒幾個同年齡的人想從 事的工作。一個洗碗工放學後半夜搭車回家，手裡拿著學習卡片。在日漸老化的 家具構成的環境中，一個家庭變得越來越小。多年來，明尼蘇達的一個少女在一 處舊避難所，為自己找到一個新的角色。

‘I got the usual looks from people fresh out of bars or parties, either because of the stench of a hard night’s work on my clothes or because I was muttering to myself while feverishly flipping flashcards.’
—Mark Isai Garcia 「剛出酒吧或參加完派對的人朝我投以習以為常的目光，要不是因為辛苦工 作一整晚後，我的衣服上散發著惡臭，不然就是我一邊瘋狂翻動學習卡片，一邊 低聲自言自語。」 ——馬克·以賽·賈西亞(Mark Isai Garcia)

“No more broken plates, you understand?” 「不能再打破盤子了，懂嗎？」

I could make little sense of the broken English that spat from his mouth but his scrunched-up face spoke a universal language. It was a Friday night in Little Tokyo, and while families were eating five-star meals in the front dining room, a 14-year-old boy was in the back washing their dishes.
他嘴裡嘟噥的含糊英語我聽不大明白，但他緊皺的臉孔是通用的語言。那是 在小東京(Little Tokyo)一個週五晚上，外面的餐廳裡，不同家庭享用著五星級大 餐時，後場裡的一個 14 歲男孩正在清洗他們的盤子。

Wash the plates by hand, dump them into the sanitizer, place the plates into the machine, dry the plates off, return the plates to their designated spot and repeat — hopefully without damaging any. On this night though, a porcelain plate slipped through my soapy fingers and shattered onto the floor in five pieces. My face flushed even as I tried to keep my composure, but inside I was screaming, “Why me!?” as if my scream would make the plate whole again. 先用手洗盤子，再把它們浸泡到洗潔劑裡，接著又把盤子放入機器、烘乾， 然後放到指定位置，接著再來——但願別打破其中任何一個。但這天晚上，一枚 瓷盤從我沾滿肥皂的手指間滑了出去，掉到地上摔成了五個碎片。我竭力保持冷 靜，滿臉漲紅，心裡在尖叫，「為什麼是我！？」好似尖叫會讓盤子恢復原狀。

The shattered plate was only one of the many worries fighting relentlessly inside my head for attention — there was the Advanced Placement United States history midterm, a low grade in calculus, the eviction notice, a little brother getting into trouble and a dozen other smaller but pressing concerns. 破碎的盤子只是我頭腦裡不住按耐著的許多憂心事中的一件——先修課程 (Advanced Placement)美國歷史要期中考，微積分成績太低，收到住房清退通知， 弟弟惹上了麻煩，還有十來件相對瑣碎但也很緊迫的掛心事。

For me, there was no calling in sick to clear my head, getting some much needed rest or carving out study time before an upcoming exam. I had to contribute to the necessities. I shut up, got back to work and pushed with all the energy I had left. I knew all too well the symptoms of bottling up my emotions — the bitter taste of salt in each drop of sweat, losing myself in the background music and the muscle aches were nothing new to me. 對我而言，沒有打電話請病假整理下思緒的空間，也沒辦法給自己一些急需 的休息，或是在考試前騰出些時間學習。我得貼補家用。我閉上嘴，繼續工作， 用盡渾身所剩的所有力氣。我深知壓抑情緒之苦——每滴汗水既鹹又苦的味道， 忘我地沉浸在背景音樂裡，肌肉疼痛是家常便飯。

It was 12 a.m. when my shift finally ended. I boarded the bus home and took out my notes to study. I got the usual looks from people fresh out of bars or parties, either because of the stench of a hard night’s work on my clothes or because I was muttering to myself while feverishly flipping flashcards on a bus in the middle of the night. 晚班終於結束時，已經是半夜 12 點了。我搭上了回家的公車，掏出筆記開始 學習。剛出酒吧或參加完派對的人朝我投以習以為常的目光，要不是因為辛苦工 作一整晚後，我的衣服上散發著惡臭，不然就是我一邊瘋狂翻動學習卡片，一邊 低聲自言自語。

Their stares didn’t bother me at all. I was used to those too, and they were nothing more than another set of speed bumps in the way of achieving my goals. I was tired of seeing childhood friends flashing gang signs, relatives glued to the beer bottle or my dad coming home late at night with burn scars from work. Something had to change and I knew it fell to me to initiate that change. 我完全不介意他們的凝視。這些我也都習慣了，不過是我實現目標之路上的 另一組減速丘而已。我厭倦了愛秀黑幫手勢的童年朋友，啤酒不離手的親戚，或 爸爸帶著做工留下的燒傷疤痕深夜回家。必須做出點改變，而我知道，這種改變 需要由我開始。

Fortunately, I also knew I had dedication, desire and grit in my blood. My grandfather was part of the first wave of Mexican immigrants that settled in Los Angeles. He returned home to a small village in rural Oaxaca, with his savings and tales of the land of opportunity. 幸運的是，我也知道我骨子裡有奉獻、渴望和毅力。祖父是第一波在洛杉磯 定居的墨西哥移民。他後來回了瓦哈卡州鄉下小村子裡的家，帶著積蓄和這個機 遇之邦的傳說。

Both of my parents left Oaxaca in their early teenage years and began working long hours in Los Angeles, as a cook and a maid. The work ethic was passed down generations; from the cornfields in Oaxaca, to the restaurants in Los Angeles, to the classroom, which helped me thrive both in school and work. 父母十來歲便離開瓦哈卡州，開始在洛杉磯沒日沒夜地工作，做廚師和女僕。 從瓦哈卡州的玉米田到洛杉磯的餐館再到教室，這種工作倫理代代相傳，讓我得 以在學業和工作振奮向前。

On this particular night, as I walked through the front door at home, I saw an uplifting surprise: My mother had fallen asleep waiting up for me despite her own long day. I tucked the cash tips I made that night into her purse and turned off the TV. 就在這個晚上，我走進家門，無意間看到了一個讓我欣慰的意外：辛勞了一 整天的母親在等我回家時睡著了。我把當晚拿到的小費塞到她的皮夾裡，關掉了 電視。

I peered into our bedroom where my brothers and cousins were lost in their blissful dreams. Watching my siblings snore and breathe slowly sparked a yawn that cued the rest of my body’s delayed exhaustion. However, it would be a while before I could join them in sleep. I had an essay due early the next morning, and Ms. DePaolo doesn’t accept late work. 我凝視著卧室裡進入甜美夢鄉的兄弟姐妹。看到他們輕輕打鼾、緩緩呼吸的 樣子，我禁不住打了個哈欠，這才發現自己已經筋疲力竭。可是，我要過會才能 和他們一道休息。我還有篇作文明早要交，德保羅老師可不接受不按時交作業。

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NOTES ON CHARLOTTESVILLE:
OR, WHY WHITE PEOPLE DO NOT EXIST AS A PEOPLE

I've heard some several buddies, people I know well and care about (most of them not in comment boxes or in public) asking about the moral equivalency between the neo Nazis, white nationalists, and other white ethnostate type supporters and groups like Black Lives Matter, Antifa (short for Antifascists), and other direct action groups.

I'd like to speak to that comparison a bit and then turn to a more important part of it that I worry about. Before I get to that, I should first say that I've said enough about Trump. Honestly, the guy confuses me. He swings from a nihilistic idiot to a idiotic nihilist. His inconsistencies pile so high that you either get lost in them or you use them wholesale to try and make your point. He wins in the time and toll it takes. He also, I think, has found a very particular niche worldview for his newfound politics and is willing to, at the end of the day, embrace ANYONE willing to give him what he wants the most: affection. Never, at least to my memory, have we had a more emotionally needy president. But that's neither here nor there at the moment.

If you look at most social protests and revolutionary movements you will find a basic set of factions that don't change. They tend to spread between non violent oppositions and even less violent moderates, both winged by some type of pragmatists who are not in principle opposed to violence. Different sides will use the radicals of different parts of this division to throw away the entire argument of one side or another, and this is not an even equivalent exchange in the history of US racial tension. But I want to stay away, mostly, from broad historical claims here.

The point I am driving at is evident when we realize that the Civil Rights activists who practiced non violent acts of resistance were often lumped in with Black Panthers, or others not opposed to violence, although the two groups were ideologically fairly different. But I am not willing to say that they were so different as to not be judged as being on roughly the same side of the discussion. After all, the Civil Rights movement was not just the movement for the passage of legislation nor did it belong to the non violence of MLK Jr entirely. This is not historical. If you don't see that the US institution of slavery was a grave moral evil and that the Jim Crow laws that succeeded it were demonic in their formal and informal application, and that, as a result, those determined to end these things were in principle on the side of justice, then you really have no moral compass. Say what you will of the vast differences between MLK Jr and Malcolm X, but it is hard to argue that their social protest was off key in the tonic.

The more popular -- but equally as appropriate -- comparison these days is to Nazi Germany. (Of course, a great deal of the sentiment of the Civil Rights movement was a direct result of the effects that US wars had for those within its ranks who were not white, but that might be slightly off the mark in this case.) There is a bright and clear moral line between the Nazi ideology and its perverse Final Solution and those who sought to oppose it. This line, by the way, finds its way directly into the symbolism and rhetoric of the neo Nazi's at Charlottesville. Not only were there swastikas, there were Nazi crosses and other niche paraphernalia. There were the salutes, yes, but there were other salutations and insider ways of speaking going on. There were also the tiki torches, the modern Pepe Wal-Mart replacement for the burning torch rallies and burning crosses of the KKK. The grand knight of that sick group was standing by. They brought their own military-grade armed militia to protect those who came in homemade riot gear. This was not the making of a peaceful protest or free speech of the sort that we see the Westboro Baptists practice (not that they are emblems of public virtue, far, far from it!).

As I said earlier, if you find yourself unable to distinguish between Nazism in its original form and neo Nazis, white nationalists, and others like them and those who through what ever means they find useful (which one can disagree with in practice while still endorsing in principle) oppose them, then you are morally corrupt. If you can't quite figure out how the math works in this moral calculus, you are morally mindless and incompetent.

Of course, within any opposition to these (supposedly) easy immoral targets one can find many arguments and even passionate disavowals. But there are real moments when these lines are simply drawn and one must take a side. I have in the past even used the language of "alt left" in an entirely different usage, but I regret it deeply, now, seeing its life-cycle. I will not exchange my allergies to the ideological types of identity politics I have long opposed nor will my more specific critique of the critics settle. All that fuss gets set aside in these events. If I have to choose whether to stand next to a neo Nazi or Antifa, I'll choose the latter on pain of eternal damnation. To those who say you don't have to choose, that risk is one I am not willing to make. I would rather be a black panther than a lynch mob, as much as my truer sympathies lie somewhere else. Despite all my oppositions to modern warfare, I would pick up arms against the Nazis long before I'd "peacefully" cheer on their side. I think most people feel this way.

But something remains and this is what I worry about and even dread most: we are not fighting Nazis or lynch mobs. Most people would never go to march in Charlottesville. And even when you talk to many of the white nationalists they will say something along the lines of "I'm not racist." To them, their present politics is no longer that of the slaver or the KKK. They don't wear hoods and they don't want to own people as property anymore, it seems. They hate the Jewish people for reasons I am still not able to process in my mind, but their argument is more separatist than colonial -- so they claim.

They seem to think that the USA was founded by *their* ethnic ancestors, who hailed from Europe, gathered together in this ancient race called "White" that has recently, especially after the activism surrounding police brutality against African Americans, fallen into a disrepute that is sending the world into a globalist terror to come, in the biggest of the big governments.

Now, these conspiracy theories do not need to be true or believed to find where they hit a live nerve in a lot of people. Some people do ask why white people cannot have rallies for themselves without longing for ethic purity. Some people do think that white folks today are being washed away through interracial marriage, but many more who don't mind interracial romance still worry that white people are on the losing end of public sentiment. Lots of people who try to counter this tend to make it worse by appealing to gotcha replies about privilege or other things. I tend to find that too complex.

I recently commented to one of my friends that I don't think of myself as having very many "white" friends. Some of you might balk since many extremely intimate people in my life are, supposedly, white. And of course if we use one way of thinking about what "white" is, that is true. On the same logic, I would be, in certain real scenarios, white as well. But what I meant when I wrote to my friend was that I see my friends of European descent as from where they are. Those who don't know where they are from share with me a genealogical confusion that I can also understand.

Maybe this weirdness is partly because, on the vulgar ethnic analysis I am used to, I am neither white nor Black. And, of course, as many Africans who are neither black nor American will remind you, things become quite complex depending on what rules we are using to count the deck.

My point is this, and if you read nothing else, please read this: There is no such thing as "white people" in history. Most folks who use the expression were not allowed to use it only a few decades ago. The white supremacy of the KKK of old hated Blacks, yes, but also Mexicans, and Catholics, and Jews (of course), and atheists, and more. Depending on how you see it, whiteness was either more or less ecumenical, but just as ideologically religious.

Let me say it again: There will never be a "white ethnostate" based on European culture because the history of Europe is covered in ethnic feuds and wars. If you've never heard of a guy named Napoleon, check him out. I'm being serious. If you think of yourself as being "white" in some serious ancestral way, you're not. You are wearing a name tag your family was GIVEN at some point but never had by its own right. There are no white people in this familial sense. (Settle down critical race theorists, I am well aware of the whiteness that is real, too, but this ain't it.) There is no such thing as a white European culture or of a white heritage in that sense at all.

Again and again: The most scandalously false part of the neo Nazi mentality is as old as its previous, original half baked idea in Hitler's weak mind. The concept of a master race doesn't work for mastery of people nor does it work for figuring out who you really are. We come from places with names and languages and peoples and legacies that are concrete. Some of us lost a lot of memory at the hands of another, and others lost through the same hands. Today we tend to think that the ancestors of slaves, or indigenous peoples, or mixed-up mestizos are the ones who lack a strong identity and the rest have theirs in bold font. Not true. From your family to your soul, you don't really know who you are if you are using ideological pet words to hang the hat of your self.

I'm not a real Mexican and I'm not a real American -- and I'm no Canadian, either. My father was an orphan, so I've taken his bloodless name as my own, a Portuguese word by etymology. I of course will pass as a white guy at a Black family reunion, just as I passed as an indigenous guy today on the pier (until I produced a fishing license instead of a status card), just as I passed as an Iranian at a birthday party last week, and so on. But the real facts of who I am don't work in the abstract.

This is why if you want to find a better substitute for whiteness find a Greek Festival or an Irish Pub or a German Beer Garden or a French Restaurant. This is food and drink, and it is a set of multicultural cliches, but enjoy an Italian family dinner and tell me there is nothing about who someone is at stake there. The point is that the real identity we can and do celebrate is everywhere and it is not necessarily riddled with guilt, even if sometimes it could use some (or far less). None of it calls itself "white." None. If you are using "white" as your only name tag, then I am sorry to say that you've been fooling yourself. You don't have a people by that name. There is no such thing. Your great-great-great grandmother would mostly likely not answer to "white."

Personal history quickly becomes social, national, and regional histories and we find ourselves, again, at Charlottesville. All I can say for now about it, to my dear and beloved friends who I suspect think that they are "white," is this: We cannot have white rallies because there is no such thing as a "white" people. Black Lives Matter is not a movement for everyone who is of one dark color in the world -- it is about the US experience for those living within the legacy of slavery and Jim Crow over the past three years (some Black activist groups are critical of this aspect of BLM, by the way). If you want a "white" identity, then look to the folk expressions of it that we have and should treasure like music, food, and regional folk ways of being. Poetry, dance, dialect, accent, story. These are not safe or sanitary places -- I tend to think this story of a "white people" got made up there, too -- but they also don't pretend like people are any more or less related than they really are.

Donald Trump is a German-American man, not a white man. His whiteness is an entirely different issue that I am disinterested in getting into right now. If you wonder why white people are seen as bad sometimes, it is largely because of this false assumption: that white people exist as a people when they so manifestly do not.

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Economics 所有 videos 的 Playlist 可看： https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzDe9mOi1K8o8H4_PAK1oLM_vhUpd0Xk9
分類的 Playlist 可看：
A. Basic Economics Concepts 基本經濟概念 … https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzDe9mOi1K8qqV5XGkWjbTy23XwkqNE0I
B. Firms & Production 廠商與生產 … https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzDe9mOi1K8qrlkuI1wdJUa3UZs0txvjN
C. Market & Price 市場與價格 … https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzDe9mOi1K8oOWHDRwYI8hvuUhNp9qcQk
D. Competition & Market structure 競爭與市場結構 … https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzDe9mOi1K8q982crii7XomNNjIx-f8rd
E. Efficiency, Equity & the role of government 效率、公平和政府的角色 … https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzDe9mOi1K8onmTnt7Dghh4pVud9e3PPU
F. Measurement of Economic Performance 經濟表現的量度 … https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzDe9mOi1K8qIHKIc6pUHUIfTXc3Cmjv3
G. National Income Determination & Price Level 國民收入決定及價格水平 … https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzDe9mOi1K8pkBABdTOtjs_8aPoTdUf61
H. Money & Banking 貨幣與銀行 … https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzDe9mOi1K8oFN6Fe_5aEk0mnJpfBe0S1
I. Macroeconomic Problems & Policies 宏觀經濟問題和政策 … https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzDe9mOi1K8onndGtdUUvNQpcmax7a1VX
J. International trade & finance 國際貿易和金融 … https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzDe9mOi1K8poqrVsbrWDq5V2-ZsNAwBi
E1. Elective I : Monopoly Pricing, Anti-competitive Behaviours and Competition Policy 壟斷定價、反競爭行為及競爭政策 … https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzDe9mOi1K8r5Fz1mXcELz7CQ79Omr6nb
E2. Elective II: Extension of Trade Theory, Economic Growth and Development 貿易理論之延伸、經濟增長及發展 … https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzDe9mOi1K8pesBkw164n1FW0G_UwoiT0
Notes Only Version : https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzDe9mOi1K8pTsr5jwcpqD4fcPTQZetR8

Definition 背誦︰
中英對照︰ https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzDe9mOi1K8ohGrOAWAsVQK3PFBqrXf2V
純英版︰ https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzDe9mOi1K8pFSFPWu1LJvURZujQzVJvD
純中版︰ https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzDe9mOi1K8odYV54ZMTkj2m7BWvMU9pB
電子書 (中英對照版 - 230頁) (HK$19.90)︰
https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=ax3kDwAAQBAJ&rdid=book-ax3kDwAAQBAJ&rdot=1&source=gbs_vpt_read&pcampaignid=books_booksearch_viewport
電子書 (純英文版 - 159頁) (HK$19.90)︰
https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=Xh3kDwAAQBAJ&rdid=book-Xh3kDwAAQBAJ&rdot=1&source=gbs_atb&pcampaignid=books_booksearch_atb
電子書 (純中文版 - 159頁) (HK$19.90)︰
https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=Yh3kDwAAQBAJ&rdid=book-Yh3kDwAAQBAJ&rdot=1&source=gbs_vpt_read&pcampaignid=books_booksearch_viewport
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HKDSE Econ Past Paper Solution : https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzDe9mOi1K8rq7kTVAuDerVqrfT6WstsV
HKCEE Econ Past Paper Solution : https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzDe9mOi1K8oVtFNEdJIya9ANc1X5nhTw
HKALE Econ Past Paper Solution : https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzDe9mOi1K8pXFnsqOlPtL3DtsDsb7w4l
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HKDSE Mathematics 數學天書 訂購表格及方法︰
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