Daily advice for HK immigrants to the West:
Regarding parenting, you’ll need to be your children’s protector. Some of your kids will be bullied in school because of their race or their shyness. Telling your kids to ignore the bully is a piece of useless (but widely popular) advice. There are several better approaches you can take regarding the issue. First and most importantly, have a conversation with your kids. Understand how they feel. Ask lots of questions without judgment. Never blame the victim. Second, encourage them to get into sports, after school clubs, or martial arts. Sports may not be important in HK, but sports are vital in Western countries. Many young people find their identities in sports growing up (i.e. “I’m a footballer…I play baseball…I wrestle.”). In the West, athletic participation is one of the best ways to bond with others, thus preventing your child to be isolated for bullies. Once your child builds his or her circle of influence in sports or clubs, the bullies would probably leave them alone. Third, you can also take the legal route of coping with bullying. Warn the school administrators that you’ve entrusted your child under their protection and that you’ll hold them legally responsible for the child’s safety. There’re many wonderful administrators who would wisely handle things to provide a win-win solution. Quite often, bullies themselves come from unhappy homes and they act out their sadness and anger on your child. Other administrators may take a less helpful approach. If you state your concern in legal terms, most administrators will take action. Always be your child’s biggest advocate. Your child needs to understand that mom and dad are there to protect them in a new, strange and sometimes hostile environment. Hoping the problem will go away magical thinking. Your approach may lead to your children’s impending depression and other health problems. In the worst-case scenario, you can get them killed. The school violence in Western society is no joke.
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