這是前些日子爆出已經被加拿大法院接理對藏傳佛教噶舉派法王的訟訴。(加拿大法院鏈接在此:https://www.bccourts.ca/jdb-txt/sc/21/09/2021BCSC0939cor1.htm?fbclid=IwAR2FLZlzmUIGTBaTuKPVchEqqngcE3Qy6G_C0TWNWVKa2ksbIYkVJVMQ8f8)
這位法王的桃色事件,我是幾年前才聽到。但,藏傳佛教的高層有這些性醜聞,我已經聽了幾十年。我以前的一位前女友也被一些堪布藉故上她的家摟抱過,也有一些活佛跟她表白。(這不只是她,其他地方我也聽過不少)
這是一個藏傳佛教裡面系統式的問題。
很多時候發生這種事情,信徒和教主往往都是說女方得不到寵而報仇,或者說她們也精神病,或者說她們撒謊。
我不排除有這種可能性,但,多過一位,甚至多位出來指證的時候,我是傾向於相信『沒有那麼巧這麼多有精神病的女人要撒謊來報仇』。
大寶法王的桃色事件,最先吹哨的是一位台灣的在家信徒,第二位是香港的女出家人,現在加拿大又多一位公開舉報上法庭。
對大寶法王信徒來說,這一次的比較麻煩,因為是有孩子的。(關於有孩子的,我早在法王的桃色事件曝光時,就有聽聞)
如果法庭勒令要驗證DNA,這對法王和他的信徒來說,會很尷尬和矛盾,因為做或不做,都死。
你若問我,我覺得『人數是有力量的』,同時我也覺得之後有更多的人站出來,是不出奇的。
我也藉此呼籲各方佛教徒,如果你們真的愛佛教,先別說批判,但如鴕鳥般不討論這些爭議,你是間接害了佛教。
(下面是我從加拿大法院鏈接拷貝下來的內容,當中有很多細節。)
Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION
BACKGROUND
ANALYSIS
A. The Spousal Support Claim in this Case
B. The Test to Amend Pleadings
C. Pleadings in Family Law Cases
D. The Legal Concept of a Marriage-Like Relationship
E. Is There a Reasonable Claim of a Marriage-Like Relationship?
F. Delay / Prejudice
CONCLUSION
INTRODUCTION
[1] The claimant applies to amend her notice of family claim to seek spousal support. At issue is whether the claimant’s allegations give rise to a reasonable claim she lived with the respondent in a marriage-like relationship, so as to give rise to a potential entitlement to spousal support under the Family Law Act, S.B.C. 2011, c. 25 (“FLA”).
[2] The facts alleged by the claimant do not fit within a traditional concept of marriage. The claimant does not allege that she and the respondent ever lived together. Indeed, she has only met the respondent in person four times: twice very briefly in a public setting; a third time in private, when she alleges the respondent sexually assaulted her; and a fourth and final occasion, when she informed the respondent she was pregnant with his child.
[3] The claimant’s case is that what began as a non-consensual sexual encounter evolved into a loving and affectionate relationship. That relationship occurred almost entirely over private text messages. The parties rarely spoke on the telephone, and never saw one another during the relationship, even over video. The claimant says they could not be together because the respondent is forbidden by his station and religious beliefs from intimate relationships or marriage. Nonetheless, she alleges, they formed a marriage-like relationship that lasted from January 2018 to January 2019.
[4] The respondent denies any romantic relationship with the claimant. While he acknowledges providing emotional and financial support to the claimant, he says it was for the benefit of the child the claimant told him was his daughter.
[5] The claimant’s proposed amendment raises a novel question: can a secret relationship that began on-line and never moved into the physical world be like a marriage? In my view, that question should be answered by a trial judge after hearing all of the evidence. The alleged facts give rise to a reasonable claim the claimant lived with the respondent in a marriage-like relationship. Accordingly, I grant the claimant leave to amend her notice of family claim.
BACKGROUND
[6] It should be emphasized that this is an application to amend pleadings only. The allegations by the claimant are presumed to be true for the purposes of this application. Those allegations have not been tested in a court of law.
[7] The respondent, Ogyen Trinley Dorje, is a high lama of the Karma Kagyu School of Tibetan Buddhism. He has been recognized and enthroned as His Holiness, the 17th Gyalwang Karmapa. Without meaning any disrespect, I will refer to him as Mr. Dorje in these reasons for judgment.
[8] Mr. Dorje leads a monastic and nomadic lifestyle. His true home is Tibet, but he currently resides in India. He receives followers from around the world at the Gyuto Monetary in India. He also travels the world teaching Tibetan Buddhist Dharma and hosting pujas, ceremonies at which Buddhists express their gratitude and devotion to the Buddha.
[9] The claimant, Vikki Hui Xin Han, is a former nun of Tibetan Buddhism. Ms. Han first encountered Mr. Dorje briefly at a large puja in 2014. The experience of the puja convinced Ms. Han she wanted to become a Buddhist nun. She met briefly with Mr. Dorje, in accordance with Kagyu traditions, to obtain his approval to become a nun.
[10] In October 2016, Ms. Han began a three-year, three-month meditation retreat at a monastery in New York State. Her objective was to learn the practices and teachings of the Kagyu Lineage. Mr. Dorje was present at the retreat twice during the time Ms. Han was at the monastery.
[11] Ms. Han alleges that on October 14, 2017, Mr. Dorje sexually assaulted her in her room at the monastery. She alleges that she became pregnant from the assault.
[12] After she learned that she was pregnant, Ms. Han requested a private audience with Mr. Dorje. In November 2017, in the presence of his bodyguards, Ms. Han informed Mr. Dorje she was pregnant with his child. Mr. Dorje initially denied responsibility; however, he provided Ms. Han with his email address and a cellphone number, and, according to Ms. Han, said he would “prepare some money” for her.
[13] Ms. Han abandoned her plan to become a nun, left the retreat and returned to Canada. She never saw Mr. Dorje again.
[14] After Ms. Han returned to Canada, she and Mr. Dorje began a regular communication over an instant messaging app called Line. They also exchanged emails and occasionally spoke on the telephone.
[15] The parties appear to have expressed care and affection for one another in these communications. I say “appear to” because it is difficult to fully understand the meaning and intentions of another person from brief text messages, especially those originally written in a different language. The parties wrote in a private shorthand, sharing jokes, emojis, cartoon portraits and “hugs” or “kisses”. Ms. Han was the more expressive of the two, writing more frequently and in longer messages. Mr. Dorje generally participated in response to questions or prompting from Ms. Han, sometimes in single word messages.
[16] Ms. Han deposes that she believed Mr. Dorje was in love with her and that, by January 2018, she and Mr. Dorje were living in a “conjugal relationship”.
[17] During their communications, Ms. Han expressed concern that her child would be “illegitimate”. She appears to have asked Mr. Dorje to marry her, and he appears to have responded that he was “not ready”.
[18] Throughout 2018, Mr. Dorje transferred funds in various denominations to Ms. Han through various third parties. Ms. Han deposes that these funds were:
a) $50,000 CDN to deliver the child and for postpartum care she was to receive at a facility in Seattle;
b) $300,000 CDN for the first year of the child’s life;
c) $20,000 USD for a wedding ring, because Ms. Han wrote “Even if we cannot get married, you must buy me a wedding ring”;
d) $400,000 USD to purchase a home for the mother and child.
[19] On June 19, 2018, Ms. Han gave birth to a daughter in Richmond, B.C.
[20] On September 17, 2018, Mr. Dorje wrote, ”Taking care of her and you are my duty for life”.
[21] Ms. Han’s expectation was that the parties would live together in the future. She says they planned to live together. Those plans evolved over time. Initially they involved purchasing a property in Toronto, so that Mr. Dorje could visit when he was in New York. They also discussed purchasing property in Calgary or renting a home in Vancouver for that purpose. Ms. Han eventually purchased a condominium in Richmond using funds provided by Mr. Dorje.
[22] Ms. Han deposes that the parties made plans for Mr. Dorje to visit her and meet the child in Richmond. In October 2018, however, Mr. Dorje wrote that he needed to “disappear” to Europe. He wrote:
I will definitely find a way to meet her
And you
Remember to take care of yourself if something happens
[23] The final plan the parties discussed, according to Ms. Han, was that Mr. Dorje would sponsor Ms. Han and the child to immigrate to the United States and live at the Kagyu retreat centre in New York State.
[24] In January 2019, Ms. Han lost contact with Mr. Dorje.
[25] Ms. Han commenced this family law case on July 17, 2019, seeking child support, a declaration of parentage and a parentage test. She did not seek spousal support.
[26] Ms. Han first proposed a claim for spousal support in October 2020 after a change in her counsel. Following an exchange of correspondence concerning an application for leave to amend the notice of family claim, Ms. Han’s counsel wrote that Ms. Han would not be advancing a spousal support claim. On March 16, 2020, counsel reversed course, and advised that Ms. Han had instructed him to proceed with the application.
[27] When this application came on before me, the trial was set to commence on June 7, 2021. The parties were still in the process of discoveries and obtaining translations for hundreds of pages of documents in Chinese characters.
[28] At a trial management conference on May 6, 2021, noting the parties were not ready to proceed, Madam Justice Walkem adjourned the trial to April 11, 2022.
ANALYSIS
A. The Spousal Support Claim in this Case
[29] To claim spousal support in this case, Ms. Han must plead that she lived with Mr. Dorje in a marriage-like relationship. This is because only “spouses” are entitled to spousal support, and s. 3 of the Family Law Act defines a spouse as a person who is married or has lived with another person in a marriage-like relationship:
3 (1) A person is a spouse for the purposes of this Act if the person
(a) is married to another person, or
(b) has lived with another person in a marriage-like relationship, and
(i) has done so for a continuous period of at least 2 years, or
(ii) except in Parts 5 [Property Division] and 6 [Pension Division], has a child with the other person.
[30] Because she alleges she has a child with Mr. Dorje, Ms. Han need not allege that the relationship endured for a continuous period of two years to claim spousal support; but she must allege that she lived in a marriage-like relationship with him at some point in time. Accordingly, she must amend the notice of family claim.
B. The Test to Amend Pleadings
[31] Given that the notice of trial has been served, Ms. Han requires leave of the court to amend the notice of family claim: Supreme Court Family Rule 8-1(1)(b)(i).
[32] A person seeking to amend a notice of family claim must show that there is a reasonable cause of action. This is a low threshold. What the applicant needs to establish is that, if the facts pleaded are proven at trial, they would support a reasonable claim. The applicant’s allegations of fact are assumed to be true for the purposes of this analysis. Cantelon v. Wall, 2015 BCSC 813, at para. 7-8.
[33] The applicant’s delay, the reasons for the delay, and the prejudice to the responding party are also relevant factors. The ultimate consideration is whether it would be just and convenient to allow the amendment. Cantelon, at para. 6, citing Teal Cedar Products Ltd. v. Dale Intermediaries Ltd. et al (1986), 19 B.C.L.R. (3d) 282.
C. Pleadings in Family Law Cases
[34] Supreme Court Family Rules 3-1(1) and 4-1(1) require that a claim to spousal support be pleaded in a notice of family claim in Form F3. Section 2 of Form F3, “Spousal relationship history”, requires a spousal support claimant to check the boxes that apply to them, according to whether they are or have been married or are or have been in a marriage-like relationship. Where a claimant alleges a marriage-like relationship, Form F3 requires that they provide the date on which they began to live together with the respondent in a marriage-like relationship and, where applicable, the date on which they separated. Form F3 does not require a statement of the factual basis for the claim of spousal support.
[35] In this case, Ms. Han seeks to amend the notice of family claim to allege that she and Mr. Dorje began to live in a marriage-like relationship in or around January 2018, and separated in or around January 2019.
[36] An allegation that a person lived with a claimant in a marriage-like relationship is a conclusion of law, not an allegation of fact. Unlike the rules governing pleadings in civil actions, however, the Supreme Court Family Rules do not expressly require family law claimants to plead the material facts in support of conclusions of law.
[37] In other words, there is no express requirement in the Supreme Court Family Rules that Ms. Han plead the facts on which she relies for the allegation she and Mr. Dorje lived in a marriage-like relationship.
[38] Rule 4-6 authorizes a party to demand particulars, and then apply to the court for an order for further and better particulars, of a matter stated in a pleading. However, unless and until she is granted leave and files the proposed amended notice of family claim, Ms. Han’s allegation of a marriage-like relationship is not a matter stated in a pleading.
[39] Ms. Han filed an affidavit in support of her application to amend the notice of family claim. Normally, evidence would not be required or admissible on an application to amend a pleading. However, in the unusual circumstances of this case, the parties agreed I may look to Ms. Han’s affidavit and exhibits for the facts she pleads in support of the allegation of a marriage-like relationship.
[40] Because this is an application to amend - and Ms. Han’s allegations of fact are presumed to be true - I have not considered Mr. Dorje’s responding affidavit.
[41] Relying on affidavit evidence for an application to amend pleadings is less than ideal. It tends to merge and confuse the material facts with the evidence that would be relied on to prove those facts. In a number of places in her affidavit, for example, Ms. Han describes her feelings, impressions and understandings. A person’s hopes and intentions are not normally material facts unless they are mutual or reasonably held. The facts on which Ms. Han alleges she and Mr. Dorje formed a marriage-like relationship are more important for the present purposes than her belief they entered into a conjugal union.
[42] Somewhat unusually, in this case, almost all of the parties’ relevant communications were in writing. This makes it somewhat easier to separate the facts from the evidence; however, as stated above, it is difficult to understand the intentions and actions of a person from brief text messages.
[43] In my view, it would be a good practice for applicants who seek to amend their pleadings in family law cases to provide opposing counsel and the court with a schedule of the material facts on which they rely for the proposed amendment.
D. The Legal Concept of a Marriage-Like Relationship
[44] As Mr. Justice Myers observed in Mother 1 v. Solus Trust Company, 2019 BCSC 200, the concept of a marriage-like relationship is elastic and difficult to define. This elasticity is illustrated by the following passage from Yakiwchuk v. Oaks, 2003 SKQB 124, quoted by Myers J. at para. 133 of Mother 1:
[10] Spousal relationships are many and varied. Individuals in spousal relationships, whether they are married or not, structure their relationships differently. In some relationships there is a complete blending of finances and property - in others, spouses keep their property and finances totally separate and in still others one spouse may totally control those aspects of the relationship with the other spouse having little or no knowledge or input. For some couples, sexual relations are very important - for others, that aspect may take a back seat to companionship. Some spouses do not share the same bed. There may be a variety of reasons for this such as health or personal choice. Some people are affectionate and demonstrative. They show their feelings for their “spouse” by holding hands, touching and kissing in public. Other individuals are not demonstrative and do not engage in public displays of affection. Some “spouses” do everything together - others do nothing together. Some “spouses” vacation together and some spend their holidays apart. Some “spouses” have children - others do not. It is this variation in the way human beings structure their relationships that make the determination of when a “spousal relationship” exists difficult to determine. With married couples, the relationship is easy to establish. The marriage ceremony is a public declaration of their commitment and intent. Relationships outside marriage are much more difficult to ascertain. Rarely is there any type of “public” declaration of intent. Often people begin cohabiting with little forethought or planning. Their motivation is often nothing more than wanting to “be together”. Some individuals have chosen to enter relationships outside marriage because they did not want the legal obligations imposed by that status. Some individuals have simply given no thought as to how their relationship would operate. Often the date when the cohabitation actually began is blurred because people “ease into” situations, spending more and more time together. Agreements between people verifying when their relationship began and how it will operate often do not exist.
[45] In Mother 1, Mr. Justice Myers referred to a list of 22 factors grouped into seven categories, from Maldowich v. Penttinen, (1980), 17 R.F.L. (2d) 376 (Ont. Dist. Ct.), that have frequently been cited in this and other courts for the purpose of determining whether a relationship was marriage-like, at para. 134 of Mother 1:
1. Shelter:
(a) Did the parties live under the same roof?
(b) What were the sleeping arrangements?
(c) Did anyone else occupy or share the available accommodation?
2. Sexual and Personal Behaviour:
(a) Did the parties have sexual relations? If not, why not?
(b) Did they maintain an attitude of fidelity to each other?
(c) What were their feelings toward each other?
(d) Did they communicate on a personal level?
(e) Did they eat their meals together?
(f) What, if anything, did they do to assist each other with problems or during illness?
(g) Did they buy gifts for each other on special occasions?
3. Services:
What was the conduct and habit of the parties in relation to:
(a) preparation of meals;
(b) washing and mending clothes;
(c) shopping;
(d) household maintenance; and
(e) any other domestic services?
4. Social:
(a) Did they participate together or separately in neighbourhood and community activities?
(b) What was the relationship and conduct of each of them toward members of their respective families and how did such families behave towards the parties?
5. Societal:
What was the attitude and conduct of the community toward each of them and as a couple?
6. Support (economic):
(a) What were the financial arrangements between the parties regarding the provision of or contribution toward the necessaries of life (food, clothing, shelter, recreation, etc.)?
(b) What were the arrangements concerning the acquisition and ownership of property?
(c) Was there any special financial arrangement between them which both agreed would be determinant of their overall relationship?
7. Children:
What was the attitude and conduct of the parties concerning children?
[46] In Austin v. Goerz, 2007 BCCA 586, the Court of Appeal cautioned against a “checklist approach”; rather, a court should "holistically" examine all the relevant factors. Cases like Molodowich provide helpful indicators of the sorts of behaviour that society associates with a marital relationship, the Court of Appeal said; however, “the presence or absence of any particular factor cannot be determinative of whether a relationship is marriage-like” (para. 58).
[47] In Weber v. Leclerc, 2015 BCCA 492, the Court of Appeal again affirmed that there is no checklist of characteristics that will be found in all marriages and then concluded with respect to evidence of intentions:
[23] The parties’ intentions – particularly the expectation that the relationship will be of lengthy, indeterminate duration – may be of importance in determining whether a relationship is “marriage-like”. While the court will consider the evidence expressly describing the parties’ intentions during the relationship, it will also test that evidence by considering whether the objective evidence is consonant with those intentions.
[24] The question of whether a relationship is “marriage-like” will also typically depend on more than just their intentions. Objective evidence of the parties’ lifestyle and interactions will also provide direct guidance on the question of whether the relationship was “marriage-like”.
[48] Significantly for this case, the courts have looked to mutual intent in order to find a marriage-like relationship. See, for example, L.E. v. D.J., 2011 BCSC 671 and Buell v. Unger, 2011 BCSC 35; Davey Estate v. Gruyaert, 2005 CarswellBC 3456 at 13 and 35.
[49] In Mother 1, Myers J. concluded his analysis of the law with the following learned comment:
[143] Having canvassed the law relating to the nature of a marriage-like relationship, I will digress to point out the problematic nature of the concept. It may be apparent from the above that determining whether a marriage-like relationship exists sometimes seems like sand running through one's fingers. Simply put, a marriage-like relationship is akin to a marriage without the formality of a marriage. But as the cases mentioned above have noted, people treat their marriages differently and have different conceptions of what marriage entails.
[50] In short, the determination of whether the parties in this case lived in a marriage-like relationship is a fact-specific inquiry that a trial judge would need to make on a “holistic” basis, having regard to all of the evidence. While the trial judge may consider the various factors listed in the authorities, those factors would not be treated as a checklist and no single factor or category of factors would be treated as being decisive.
E. Is There a Reasonable Claim of a Marriage-Like Relationship?
[51] In this case, many of the Molodowich factors are missing:
a) The parties never lived under the same roof. They never slept together. They were never in the same place at the same time during the relationship. The last time they saw each other in person was in November 2017, before the relationship began.
b) The parties never had consensual sex. They did not hug, kiss or hold hands. With the exception of the alleged sexual assault, they never touched one another physically.
c) The parties expressed care and affection for one another, but they rarely shared personal information or interest in their lives outside of their direct topic of communication. They did not write about their families, their friends, their religious beliefs or their work.
d) They expressed concern and support for one another when the other felt unwell or experienced health issues, but they did not provide any care or assistance during illness or other problems.
e) They did not assist one another with domestic chores.
f) They did not share their relationship with their peers or their community. There is no allegation, for example, that Mr. Dorje told his fellow monks or any of his followers about the relationship. There is no allegation that Ms. Han told her friends or any co-workers. Indeed, there is no allegation that anyone, with the exception of Ms. Han’s mother, knew about the relationship. Although Mr. Dorje gave Ms. Han’s mother a gift, he never met the mother and he never spoke to her.
g) They did not intend to have a child together. The child was conceived as a result of a sexual assault. While Mr. Dorje expressed interest in “meeting” the child, he never followed up. He currently has no relationship with the child. There is no allegation he has sought access or parenting arrangements.
[52] The only Molodowich factor of any real relevance in this case is economic support. Mr. Dorje provided the funds with which Ms. Han purchased a condominium. Mr. Dorje initially wrote that he wanted to buy a property with the money, but, he wrote, “It’s the same thing if you buy [it]”.
[53] Mr. Dorje also provided a significant amount of money for Ms. Han’s postpartum care and the child’s first year of life.
[54] This financial support may have been primarily for the benefit of the child. Even the condominium, Ms. Han wrote, was primarily for the benefit of the child.
[55] However, in my view, a trial judge may attach a broader significance to the financial support from Mr. Dorje than child support alone. A trial judge may find that the money Mr. Dorje provided to Ms. Han at her request was an expression of his commitment to her in circumstances in which he could not commit physically. The money and the gifts may be seen by the trial judge to have been a form of down payment by Mr. Dorje on a promise of continued emotional and financial support for Ms. Han, or, in Mr. Dorje’s own words, “Taking care of her and you are my duty for life” (emphasis added).
[56] On the other hand, I find it difficult to attach any particular significance to the fact that Mr. Dorje agreed to provide funds for Ms. Han to purchase a wedding ring. It appears to me that Ms. Han demanded that Mr. Dorje buy her a wedding ring, not that the ring had any mutual meaning to the parties as a marriage symbol. But it is relevant, in my view, that Mr. Dorje provided $20,000 USD to Ms. Han for something she wanted that was of no benefit to the child.
[57] Further, Ms. Han alleges that the parties intended to live together. At a minimum, a trial judge may find that the discussions about where Ms. Han and the child would live reflected a mutual intention of the parties to see one another and spend time together when they could.
[58] Mr. Dorje argues that an intention to live together at some point in the future is not sufficient to show that an existing relationship was marriage-like. He argues that the question of whether the relationship was marriage-like requires more than just intentions, citing Weber, supra.
[59] In my view, the documentary evidence referred to above provides some objective evidence in this case that the parties progressed beyond mere intentions. As stated, the parties appear to have expressed genuine care and affection for one another. They appear to have discussed marriage, trust, honesty, finances, mutual obligations and acquiring family property. These are not matters one would expect Mr. Dorje to discuss with a friend or a follower, or even with the mother of his child, without a marriage-like element of the relationship.
[60] A trial judge may find on the facts alleged by Ms. Han that the parties loved one another and would have lived together, but were unable to do so because of Mr. Dorje’s religious duties and nomadic lifestyle.
[61] The question I raised in the introduction to these reasons is whether a relationship that began on-line and never moved into the physical world can be marriage-like.
[62] Notably, the definition of a spouse in the Family Law Act does not require that the parties live together, only that they live with another person in a marriage-like relationship.
[63] In Connor Estate, 2017 BCSC 978, Mr. Justice Kent found that a couple that maintained two entirely separate households and never lived under the same roof formed a marriage-like relationship. (Connor Estate was decided under the intestacy provisions of the Wills, Estates and Succession Act, S.B.C. 2009, c. 13 ("WESA"), but courts have relied on cases decided under WESA and the FLA interchangeably for their definitions of a spouse.) Mr. Justice Kent found:
[50] The evidence is overwhelming and I find as a fact that Mr. Chambers and Ms. Connor loved and cared deeply about each other, and that they had a loving and intimate relationship for over 20 years that was far more than mere friendship or even so-called "friendship with benefits". I accept Mr. Chambers' evidence that he would have liked to share a home with Ms. Connor after the separation from his wife, but was unable to do so because of Ms. Connor's hoarding illness. The evidence amply supports, and I find as a fact, that Mr. Chambers and Ms. Connor loved each other, were faithful to each other, communicated with each other almost every day when they were not together, considered themselves to be (and presented themselves to be) "husband and wife" and were accepted by all who knew them as a couple.
[64] Connor Estate may be distinguishable from this case because Mr. Chambers and Ms. Connor were physically intimate for over 20 years, and presented themselves to the world as a married couple.
[65] Other decisions in which a marriage-like relationship has been found to exist despite the parties not living together have involved circumstances in which the couple lived under the same roof at previous points in the relationship, and the issue was whether they continued to be spouses after they took up separate residences: in Thompson v. Floyd, 2001 BCCA 78, the parties had lived together for a period of at least 11 years; in Roach v. Dutra, 2010 BCCA 264, the parties had lived together for approximately three years.
[66] However, as Mr. Justice Kent noted in Connor Estate:
[48] … [W]hile much guidance might be found in this case law, the simple fact is that no two cases are identical (and indeed they usually vary widely) and it is the assessment of evidence as a whole in this particular case which matters.
[67] Mr. Justice Kent concluded:
[53] Like human beings themselves, marriage-like relationships can come in many and various shapes. In this particular case, I have no doubt that such a relationship existed …
[68] As stated, Ms. Han’s claim is novel. It may even be weak. Almost all of the traditional factors are missing. The fact that Ms. Han and Mr. Dorje never lived under the same roof, never shared a bed and never even spent time together in person will militate against a finding they lived with one another in a marriage-like relationship. However, the traditional factors are not a mandatory check-list that confines the “elastic” concept of a marriage-like relationship. And if the COVID pandemic has taught us nothing else, it is that real relationships can form, blossom and end in virtual worlds.
[69] In my view, the merits of Ms. Han’s claim should be decided on the evidence. Subject to an overriding prejudice to Mr. Dorje, she should have leave to amend the notice of family claim. However, she should also provide meaningful particulars of the alleged marriage-like relationship.
F. Delay / Prejudice
[70] Ms. Han filed her notice of family claim on July 17, 2019. She brought this application to amend approximately one year and nine months after she filed the pleading, just over two months before the original trial date.
[71] Ms. Han’s delay was made all that more remarkable by her change in position from January 19, 2021, when she confirmed, through counsel, that she was not seeking spousal support in this case.
[72] Ms. Han gave notice of her intention to proceed with this application to Mr. Dorje on March 16, 2021. By the time the application was heard, the parties had conducted examinations for discovery without covering the issues that would arise from a claim of spousal support.
[73] Also, in April, Ms. Han produced additional documents, primarily text messages, that may be relevant to her claim of spousal support, but were undecipherable to counsel for Mr. Dorje, who does not read Mandarin.
[74] This application proceeded largely on documents selected and translated by counsel for Ms. Han. I was informed that Mandarin translations of the full materials would take 150 days.
[75] Understandably in the circumstances, Mr. Dorje argued that an amendment two months before trial would be neither just nor convenient. He argued that he would be prejudiced by an adjournment so as to allow Ms. Han to advance a late claim of spousal support.
[76] The circumstances changed on May 6, 2021, when Madam Justice Walkem adjourned the trial to July 2022 and reset it for 25 days. Madam Justice Walkem noted that most of the witnesses live internationally and require translators. She also noted that paternity may be in issue, and Mr. Dorje may amend his pleadings to raise that issue. It seems clear that, altogether apart from the potential spousal support claim, the parties were not ready to proceed to trial on June 7, 2021.
[77] In my view, any remaining prejudice to Mr. Dorje is outweighed by the importance of having all of the issues between the parties decided on their merits.
[78] Ms. Han’s delay and changes of position on spousal support may be a matter to de addressed in a future order of costs; but they are not grounds on which to deny her leave to amend the notice of family claim.
CONCLUSION
[79] Ms. Han is granted leave to amend her notice of family claim in the form attached as Appendix A to the notice of application to include a claim for spousal support.
[80] Within 21 days, or such other deadline as the parties may agree, Ms. Han must provide particulars of the marriage-like relationship alleged in the amended notice of family claim.
[81] Ms. Han is entitled to costs of this application in the cause of the spousal support claim.
“Master Elwood”
同時也有1部Youtube影片,追蹤數超過2萬的網紅Esther Lee,也在其Youtube影片中提到,女性力量 由放下開始 ~ [相聚一刻] ep186 播出:2017年12月18日, 8pm 嘉賓:Joy Fok, 世界旅行者, 紀錄片製片人 主持:Esther Lee 監製:Weller Choi, Tony Chau 場地:匯智社 要令一個女人開心,談何容易?一個女人如何能令自己快樂、幸福,...
every so often meaning 在 鴨頭 嘉人 Facebook 的最讚貼文
【キンコン西野が全国の図書館3300館に絵本『えんとつ町のプペル』を寄贈】
まずは近況報告からさせていただきます。
2つあります。
まずは一つ目。
昨日、「スナック西野」の収録がありました。
「スナック西野」というのは、月に2度(ときどき3度)、僕の自宅に僕の友人をお招きして、呑みながらバッキバキに仕事の話をする僕がやっている月額590円のYouTubeチャンネルです。
【参加はコチラから↓】
https://m.youtube.com/sponsor_cha…/UCOy5sLcFLqYNqZ1iurp4dCg…
昨日は、メガネブランドのOWNDAYS代表の田中さんに来ていただいて、あれやこれやとお話しさせていただきました。
その中でも「どうしてOWNDAYSは実店舗がメインなのに、コロナ禍において、ダメージを受けるどころか、経営を加速させることができたのか?」という話がもうメチャクチャ面白くて、経済評論家のそれじゃなくて、現場の手触り感のある話なんですね。
コロナをどう捉え、どう立ち回るか、今回は世界中の経営者の手腕が試されたと思うのですが、昨日、聞いたOWNDAYS田中さんの捉え方、立ち回り方が僕個人的には圧倒的に正しいと思っていて、その部分は是非、観ていただきたいです。
「スナック西野」が隔週土曜日に放送されます。夕方に10分の無料版が流れて、その夜に1時間の有料版が流れます。
次回のゲストはメガネブランドOWNDAYSの田中さん。その次は、おそらくSHOWROOMの前田さんです。
お楽しみに。
https://youtu.be/J_E_Vixvvj8
近況報告の二つ目です。
先日、公開された映画『えんとつ町のプペル』のメインビジュアル。こちらは映画館に貼り出されるポスターや、映画館にデーン!と出る看板に使われる、いわば「広告素材」なのですが、この出来がメチャクチャいいんです。
僕はスマホの待ち受けにもしています。
これ、普通に、額装して部屋に飾りたいよなぁと思ってですね、映画の公開日や声優さんの名前といった文字情報を全部抜いて、「アートポスター」として販売することになりました。
(コチラ)→https://silkhat.yoshimoto.co.jp/projects/2134
クラウドファンディングのリターンとして出しているのですが、一つ、条件があります。
ポスターって「配送」にしてしまうと、配送費が結構かかっちゃうんですね。
なので、12月に六本木ヒルズで開催する『えんとつ町のプペル光る絵本展in六本木ヒルズ(入場無料)』での直接受け渡しを条件とさせていただきました。
会場まで受け取りに来られる方、限定です。
友達の分を代表で取りに来るのもオッケーですし、ポスターの転売も全然オッケーですので、勝手に商売を始めていただいても構いません。
あと、サラッと言っちゃいましたが、六本木ヒルズで個展を開催しようと思ったら、3000万円ぐらいかかっちゃうのですが、それを「入場無料」というのは、そこそこ狂気の沙汰なんです。
これは、オンラインサロンの売り上げから個展の開催費用を捻出しているからできたわけで、オンラインサロンの売り上げというのは、こういうことに使わせていただいております。
エッフェル塔で開催した個展が入場無料だったのも、同じ理由です。
光る絵本展は入場無料ですので、是非、ご家族で遊びにいらしてください。
クリスマスに開催します。
というわけで、今日の本題です。
タイトルにありますとおり、この度、図書館協会の方とお話しさせていただいて、全国の図書館3300館に絵本『えんとつ町のプペル』を寄贈させていただくことが決定しました。
よく、「支援とか寄贈とかばっかりしていますが、大丈夫なんですか?」と聞かれるので、ご説明させていただきと、まず大前提として僕は「いい人」だと思われたいというのがあります。なので偽善中の偽善です。
くわえて、利益や貯金を増やすことには僕は一切の興味がなくて、なので、働いていただいたお金はエンタメ投資か支援活動に回すことを決めています。そういうコンセプトで会社をやっているんです。
最悪、食いっぱぐれて食う物に困ったら、サロンメンバーさんの家を一軒一軒回って、晩飯をご馳走になることを勝手に決めているので、そのへんセーフティーネットはバッチリなんですね。
次に、「図書館で読めちゃったら絵本が売れなくなるのでは?」というご意見・ご心配に対してお答えすると、たしかに「もう読んだから要らない」と考える方もいらっしゃるとは思うのですが、その一方で、「図書館で読んだ絵本を自分用に持っておきたい」という新しい需要も生まれると思っていて、これは「どっちとも言えない」というところだと思います。
くわえて僕は、絵本が「売れる売れない」よりも、「知ってる知らない」の方を重要視した方がいいという考えで、もちろん活動を続けていく以上、「売れること」というのはとっても大事なのですが、それよりも遥かに「知ってもらうこと」の方が大事だと思っています。
当たり前の話ですが、知られなかったら売れないので。
順番としては「知られる」方が先なんですね。
全てのサービスのお客さんは「知らないから買わないお客さん」と「知ってて買うお客さん」と「知ってて買わないお客さん」の3つに分けられて、まずは、知ってもらう割合を増やすことが大事だと思います。
図書館で「えんとつ町のプペル」を読んだご家族が、「えんとつ町のプペル」を買わなかったとしても、「えんとつ町のプペル」の話を、まだ「えんとつ町のプペル」を知らない友達とかに話してくれたら、その友達が「買ってくれる候補」には入る。
あとは、絵本は買わないけど、「図書館で読んだ絵本の映画は観に行く」という選択肢もある。
ときどき、「販売している本をどんどん貸し出されてしまうと、売り上げに悪影響が出る」と図書館を敵視する出版社さんがいらっしゃいますが、さっきみたいな考えでいくと、図書館の意味ってメチャクチャあると思っていて、敵どころか、互いに好影響をもたらしながら共存できる関係です。
なので僕は本屋さんも応援しますし、図書館も応援します。
西野亮廣(キングコング)
▼西野亮廣の最新のエンタメビジネスに関する記事(1記事=2000~3000文字)が毎朝読めるのはオンラインサロン(ほぼメルマガ)はコチラ↓
https://salon.jp/nishino
▼Instagram版はコチラ↓
https://nishino73.thebase.in/items/25497065
━━━
2020年12月25日公開!
映画『えんとつ町のプペル』
▼オンラインムビチケ(特典付き)の購入はこちら↓
https://mvtk.jp/Film/070395
▼上映館はこちら
https://theater.toho.co.jp/toho_theaterlist/poupelle.html…
[Xin Nishino gives a picture book ′′ a no-in-town ′′ to the 3300th library across the country]
First of all, I'm going to have a status report.
There are 2
First one.
Yesterday, there was a recording of ′′ snack nishino,"
′′ snack nishino ′′ is 2 degrees a month (sometimes 3 degrees), I invite my friend to my home, and I'm going to talk about work to basher while drinking. I'm doing it It's a youtube channel for 590 yen per month.
[join here ↓]
https://m.youtube.com/sponsor_channel/UCOy5sLcFLqYNqZ1iurp4dCg?noapp=1
Yesterday, I came to Mr. Tanaka, representative of the glasses brand, and I was able to talk to this and this.
Even in the middle of the day, ′′ why is owndays the main store, but in the corona misfortune, it was able to accelerate the management?" it's already so interesting, and it's not the economic critic, It's a touch of the site, isn't it?
How to capture corona and how to fight, this time I think that the skills of the management of the world have been tested, but yesterday, I heard how to capture owndays tanaka, and how to fight, I personally think that it is overwhelmingly right. I'd like you to watch that part.
′′ snack nishino ′′ will be broadcast on Saturday. A 10-minute free version will be flowing in the evening and a 1-hour paid version will be flowing that night.
The next guest is Mr. Tanaka from glasses brand owndays. Next is probably maeda from showroom.
Look forward to it.
https://youtu.be/J_E_Vixvvj8
It's the second one of the status report.
The main visual of the movie ′′ a in town ′′ which was published the other day. This is a poster that will be pasted in the cinema and Dane in the cinema! It's a ′′ advertising material ′′ that is used for the sign that comes out, but this is so messed up.
I'm also waiting for my smartphone.
I think this is normally framed and decorated in my room, I'm going to pull out all the character information such as the public day of the movie and the name of the voice actor, and I'm going to sell it as an ′′ Art Poster,"
(here) -> https://silkhat.yoshimoto.co.jp/projects/2134
I'm putting it out as a return to crowdfunding, but there's one condition.
When the poster is ′′ shipping it takes a lot of shipping costs.
So, in December, we were able to take a direct delivery at the ′′ a picture book book in roppongi hills (FREE ENTRY)′′ held in roppongi hills.
It's limited to those who can come to the venue to pick it up.
It's okay to come to pick up a friend's minute, and the resale of the poster is totally okay, so you can start your business.
I said it was easy, but I thought I was going to hold a solo exhibition in roppongi hills, and it takes about 3000 Yen, but it's a pretty madness that ′′ free entry ′′ is a lot of madness.
This is what I was able to do because I was able to make the cost of the exhibition from the sales of the online salon, and the sales of the online salon are used to use this.
It's the same reason why the exhibition held at the Eiffel Tower was free admission.
The Glow painting book is free to enter, so please come and visit us in your family.
It will be held at Christmas.
So today's chase.
As in the title, I was able to talk to the Library Association, and I was able to give you a picture book ′′ a no-′′ to the 3300th library across the country.
I often ask," I'm all about support and donations, but is it okay?" so let me explain it, and first of all, I want to think that I'm a ′′ good person ′′ Yes. So it's hypocrisy in hypocrisy.
In my mouth, I don't have any interest in increasing profit and savings, so the money that I've been working on is deciding to turn into an entertainment investment or support activity. I'm doing a company with that kind of concept.
The worst, if you're in trouble with the things you eat, you'll be able to go around the salon member's house and have a treat for dinner, so the safety net is perfect.
Next," if you read it in the library, you won't be able to sell a picture book?" if you answer your opinion, you'll think that there are some people who think that ′′ I don't need it because I read it already," Meanwhile," I think I'm going to have a new demand that I want to have a picture book that I read at the library, and I think this is ′′ I can't say both of them
In my mouth, I think that the picture book is better to take a look at the ′′ I don't know ′′ than ′′ I can't sell it," and of course I continue to work," I'm going to sell it," It's very important, but I think it's more important to ′′ know ′′ than that.
It's an obvious story, but if you don't know, you won't
In order, ′′ known ′′ is first.
Every service customer is divided into one of the ′′ customers who don't buy because they don't know ′′ and ′′ customers who know and buy ′′ and ′′ customers who know and don't buy ′′ and first of all, I'll get it I think it's important to increase the percentage.
Even if the family who read ′′ a in the library ′′ didn't buy ′′ a in the town," the story of ′′ a in the town ′′ is still ′′ a ′′ If you talk to a friend who doesn't know the-in one town, that friend will enter the ′′ candidate to buy ′′
Later, I don't buy a picture book, but there is also an option that ′′ I'm going to see the movie of the picture book I read at the library,"
Sometimes there is a publisher who is enemy to the library, ′′ if you are getting more and more of the books that are selling, it will affect the sales," but when you think about it earlier, the meaning of the library is messed up. It's a relationship that can coexist with each other, not an enemy.
So I'm rooting for the bookstore, and I'm rooting for the library too.
Ryo Nishino (King Kong)
▼ an article about the latest entertainment business of ryo nishino (1 articles = 2000 to 3000 characters) can be read every morning online salon (almost mail magazine) is here ↓
https://salon.jp/nishino
▼ Instagram version is here ↓
https://nishino73.thebase.in/items/25497065
━━━
Released on December 25, 2020!
The movie in a town ′′
▼ Buy Online Bangabandhu (with perks) here ↓
https://mvtk.jp/Film/070395
▼ here is the screening hall
https://theater.toho.co.jp/toho_theaterlist/poupelle.html#region7Translated
every so often meaning 在 Pakar diari hati Facebook 的最佳貼文
SOLAT SUNAT TAHAJJUD
بِسۡـــــــــمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحۡـمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِـــــــيمِ
اَللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ وَسَلِّمْ عَلَى سَيِّدِنَا مُحَمَّدٍ
...Continue ReadingPRAYER OF TAHAJJUD CIRCUMSTANCES
Allah is the Most Merciful of the Merciful
O Allah, blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad
.
The first time in my life doing Tahajjud Prayer was when I was 41 years old. How ignorant I was at that time.
But Alhamdulillah for those who haven't done it yet, there's still a chance to do. While we are still alive.
I have written this TAHAJJUD circumcision prayer repeatedly but I am not satisfied because I want all my friends to take the opportunity to do so.
.
When I write this entry, it is in Ramadhan. Which we will wake up for sahur. So, take this opportunity to go for a prayer.
The best time to pray is a third night which is around 3 am.
(One night counts since Isyak time and ends at dawn. Meaning, 1 nights ~ 9 hours. So one third of those last nights were at 1.30 am to 4.30 am).
.
Prayer of Tahajjud is a night prayer carried out after waking up, the afdal is made alone after midnight. This circumcision prayer is highly claimed and very well done as an additional worship. Rasulullah SAW and friends did not leave this prayer for the rest of their life.
.
The Word of Allah SWT.:
′′ And at night pray for you as an additional worship for you; May your God lift you up to a place of praise."
(Surah Isra '; verse 79)
.
Rasulullah SAW said: ′′ Do the night prayer because it is the habit of solihin before you, also a way to get closer to your God, also as the redeemer of all bad deeds, the preventer of sin and can prevent sickness from the body." (Tirmizi's history and Ahmad r.a.)
.
Sunat prayer of tahajjud is encouraged to be established every night.
We pray for Isyak fardhu in the beginning of time with a bow and wake up then fast to sleep so that we can wake up in the middle of the night to perform the prayer of tahajj
.
The law of prayer of tahajjud is the circumcision of muakkad - which is the practice of circumcision that is
Rasulullah SAW and friends never leave this prayer for their lifetime.
His own majesty has never left the prayer of Tahajjud circumcision even one night until both of his feet are swollen because of standing too much.
.
His majesty said what it means;
′′ The most important prayer after the fardu prayer is the night prayer (tahajjjud prayer) ′′
- H. R Muslim
.
Prayer of tahajjud circumcision is highly encouraged to be done together with prayer of repentance.
.
TAHAJJUD PRAYER TIME.
Prayer of tahajjud circumcision is done at midnight, which is after 12 pm.
This time is after waking up from sleep in quiet condition when all other humans are sleeping well.
.
The Word of Allah SWT:
O people who are blanketed! Wake up Tahajjud prayer at night, apart from a little time (which cannot be rested), which is half of the night, or lessen a little of the half, or more of the second and read the Quran slowly.
- Surah al-Muzzammil verse 1-4
.
TAHAJJUD PRAYER GOAL
.
- As a sign of slavery to Allah SWT.
- Closing a servant with his Creator
- Signs of human gratitude for the blessings of Allah SWT.
- Strengthening the soul and piety of a person to Allah SWT.
- Getting calm in facing challenges and challenges of life.
.
HOW TO END TAHAJJUD PRAYER
.
THE AMOUNT OF RAKAT
Prayer of Tahajjud is done without its rakaat, according to its ability and ability, with every two rakaat one greeting. If you feel heavy, you'll just have two rakaats but you'll be done continuously every night.
Rasulullah SAW has said,:
′′ The practice that is loved by Allah, is the continuous (persistence) even though a little."
(History by Bukhari and Muslim from Aisyah. )
.
The implementation of this way of prayer for tahajjud prayer is the same as other circumcision prayers.
.
1. BEFORE WORKING FOR TAHAJJUD PRAYER READ THE NEXT PRAYER:
There is no God but You, Glory to You! I ask for forgiveness from You for my sins and I ask You for Your Mercy. Oh my God! Add me knowledge and don't give my heart after You give guidance. And give me Your Mercy; Truly You are the one who bestows blessings! Praise be to Allah who has brought me alive and to Him is my return.
.
2. INTENTIONS OF TAHAJJUD PRAYER:
(Ushalli sunnat tahajjudi rak 'ataini Lillahi ta' ala)
I pray for two rakaat Tahajjud circumcision, because of Allah Ta ' ala.
3. SURAH READING AFTER AL-FATIHAH:
.
a)
First rakaat: Verse Al-Chair (7 times)
Second rakaat: Surah Al-Ikhlas (11 times)
Or;
b)
First rakaat: Ayat Al-Kaafirun
Second rakaat: Surah Al-Ikhlas
Or;
c)
The Last 10 Verse, Surah Al-Imran,.
(Rasulullah SAW often reads this on His Majesty's Tahajjud )
.
The Advantages of TAHAJJUD PRAYER
.
- Tahajjud is the most afdal prayer of circumcision.
- Prayers answered by Allah.
- Earning peace of soul.
- Feeling close to Allah SWT.
- Given privilege by Allah SWT.
- Get God's help and blessings.
- Beating the distractions and temptations of the devil.
- Prevent sin and avoid sickness.
- Becoming more disciplined in doing the task.
- Allah SWT makes it easy to receive the knowledge learned.
- Out of notes as a neglected group.
- Respected by the community and prevented from human envy.
- Allah SWT gives you lasting ease and sustenance.
- People praying for Tahajjud becomes the love of Allah SWT.
- Given a privilege that others don't get.
- Get the glory of Allah SWT in this world and the hereafter.
- Raise the dignity of a servant in the presence of Allah Azza Wa Jalla.
- Ease the reckoning in the afterlife and crossing Titian Siratal-Mustaqim.
.
That's how the advantages of prayer sunat tahajjud which is fulfilled in prayer, calm heart and mind, easy fortune and receive protection from human betrayal.
The most important thing is this time the door of repentance is wide open.
.
Rasulullah SAW said:
′′ Do the night prayer because it is the habit of solihin before you, also a way to get closer to your God, also as the redeemer of all bad deeds, the repellent of sin and can obstruct disease ′′
(The history of Tirmizi and Ahmad R. A)
.
EASY TO WAKE UP NIGHT PRAYER
(I've written this before...)
.
- Before going to bed, intend to do Tahajjud Prayer.
- Stay away from sin.
- Simple eating and drinking at noon.
- Reading the verses of the Quran.
.
Rasulullah SAW said:
′′ Whoever wants to sleep and intends to rise up to perform the Tahajjud Circumcision Prayer, then sleep is too much until the morning, then the intention is recorded as a reward, while his sleep is considered as the gift of God given to him."
(The history of al-Nasa ' i and Ibnu Majah r.a.)
.
According to Imam al-Ghazali, there are four reasons for the world and four spiritual reasons to help someone tahajjud.
.
Because the world is:
- Avoid over eating and drinking that will only cause excessive sleep
- Don't explode with things that are not useful during the day.
- Sleeping for a while at noon which will help us for night prayers.
- No sin during the day which it may prevent us from performing tahajjud prayers
.
Because of his spirituality is:
- To cleanse our hearts from any hate towards other Muslims.
- To always have fear in our hearts towards God and realize that our lives are very short.
- To understand the benefits of tahajjud.
- To love Allah, and have strong faith when we wake up the night prayer 'calling' Allah.
.
FIVE REWARDS IN THE WORLD
1. Away From All Diseases
Salman Al-Farisi tells, Rasulullah SAW once said;
Do the night prayer, because it is the habit of the religious people before you, the way closer to God, the redeemer, the repellent of sin, and the preventer of disease."
.
2. Blessed with the Impact on the Face
Have you seen the faces of worship members who practice night prayers?
Doesn't their faces look radiant and calm?
That's the proof of the gift that Allah gave him.
Not only that, by seeing their faces we feel happy and happy, even feel like seeing it many times.
.
3. Loved By All Humans
Whoever practices night worship will surely be loved by every human being, let alone by Allah SWT.
That's the characteristics of those who believe and do good deeds with Allah will surely receive love from anyone.
.
4. Conversations And His Acts Contains Wisdom (Wisdom)
Indeed, the characteristics of those who believe are those who keep their manners and speech.
This group certainly does not speak any neglect but their words are useful and wisdom.
As well as in deeds and actions of those who always try to stay away from things that neglect and race to do good that get closer to Allah SWT.
.
5. Blessed With Strength And Fortune (Halal and Blessed)
By fulfilling every charity of worship to Allah SWT, no matter what his worship will surely be fulfilled with abundant provisions, such as good food, health, happy family and others.
Even every provision will be blessed by Allah SWT.
Peace, mercy and blessings of God be upon you
.
Take a stand.
Once asked, many Allah brought.
Credit:
Dzuriasikim DzulkefliTranslated
every so often meaning 在 Esther Lee Youtube 的最佳解答
女性力量 由放下開始 ~ [相聚一刻] ep186
播出:2017年12月18日, 8pm
嘉賓:Joy Fok, 世界旅行者, 紀錄片製片人
主持:Esther Lee
監製:Weller Choi, Tony Chau
場地:匯智社
要令一個女人開心,談何容易?一個女人如何能令自己快樂、幸福,甚至成為女性領導?你是否付出太多,以致乾枯了都不知道?你有把自己的需要、感覺放第一位嗎?你是否照顧別人,多過自己?你是否為其他人付責任?
今集,我們為你講女性的福祉,如何取得平衡?之致得到真正的幸福,遇見真正的自己。
基本上,大多數女性實際上是女強人,甚麼是女強人?我們經常會照顧身邊的每一個人,我們的家庭成員、父母、伴侶、孩子,還有,我們的團隊…。而且,我們經常把自己的需要運想要放在最後。這次,我們的嘉賓,Joy Fok, 一位世界級的旅行家和紀錄片製片人,她經歷了很多,我們都經歷了很多,才找到自己,甚麼是真正負責任?只要好好管自己的事,而不是試圖拯救世界或親人。
我們如何理清負責?甚麼是真正的愛,關心和付出?我們什麼時候該停止?我們應該在哪裡劃出”健康界線”呢?我們有很多人,只是付出、付出、付出,而不知道我們的企圖心是甚麼?是內疚?想扮演”拯救者”?做了別人媽媽的角色?到底為什麼?
我們從過去幾十年的生活中學到了很多智慧,才懂得先愛自己,把自己放在第一位。我們提出了七個成為一個幸福的女人的鑰匙,甚至成為是一個女性領袖。而且,如何活出豐盛的生活?
1)做你喜愛做的事情,不要妥協;
2)先照顧好自己的需要,將自己放第一;
3)自己沒有的,是不能給別人的;
4)你願意放棄”某些事”嗎?
5)你是否對自己太苛刻了?
6)需要時,要求幫助吧!
7)以自己的方式享受生活。
多謝收看!
Basically, most women are actually super women. We used to take care of every one around us, our family members, our parents, our partner, our children, our team… and very often, we put us at the end of the queue. Joy Fok, our guest this time, a world traveller and TV producer, and I had gone through a lot, to find ourselves, to be truly responsible, meaning care about our own business, and not trying to rescue the world or our loved ones.
What is your “Abundance Level”? How do we distinguish between being responsible? Being loving, caring and giving? When should we stop? Where should we draw the line of healthy boundary? Many of us just give, give, give, without knowing where we come from, such as guilt, playing rescuer, mothering others or what?
We have learned so much from our past decades of life, and come to love ourselves, and put ourselves first and foremost. We have come up with 7 Keys to Be A Happy Woman, even a woman leader. And, how to lead a lif of Abundance?
1) Do what you love only, do not compromise;
2) Take care of ourselves first and foremost;
3) You can’t give have we don’t have;
4) Are you willing to give up “something”?
5) Are you being too harsh to yourself?
6) Ask for help when you need to;
7) Enjoy life in your own terms.
Enjoy our interview!