關於 hid hide ，我們在網路上蒐集到這些相關的討論、資訊與評價

“You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy”
你不能等到人生不那麼難的時候，才來決定你要快樂。
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大家是不是都因為突如其來的疫情，而心裡充滿了恐懼與憤怒，還有對未來的不安？覺得人生很多計畫都得暫停，等疫情過去再說？
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所以我想跟大家分享這個美麗的女孩與她唱的歌。出自於6/8/2021的美國達人秀。
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也許，我們都可以不因無法控制的壞事，而阻礙了自己快樂的權利。
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一位來自美國Ohio州的Nightbird登上了美國達人秀的舞台，演唱了一首叫做”IT’S OK”的自創曲。聲音真摯溫柔清亮，一次次地唱著It's ok，彷彿在安慰在場因為她而落淚的聽眾。連Simon都哽咽了。
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原來她在2020跨年的那一天接到醫生的通知：被診斷癌症末期，只有6個月能活，存活率是2%。過了幾十天，她的丈夫因無法承受提出離婚。在演出的時候她的肺、脊椎、與肝仍然有癌細胞存在。但她在台上從頭到尾笑容滿面，並沒有刻意要販售她不幸的身世。她閉著眼，笑著輕輕地唱出這首描述她過去一年生命軌跡的歌曲。
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“It’s important that everyone knows I’m so much more than the bad things happened to me”
重要的是，大家要知道，我不僅僅只是這些發生在我身上的壞事而已。
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不肯讓自己的人生，就這樣地被一件發生在自己身上的壞事下定論的她，勇敢的拿回寫自己人生故事的主控權，仍舊滿臉笑容地追求夢想。因為她就是一個這麼豐富的人。
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這種心情，我懂。我真的懂。因為我也是這樣...
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那股倔強的不甘願，不甘願就這樣從此被當成「即將失明的女子」，我就是要更勇敢的去把我想做的是，想留下的足跡，想寫的人生故事腳本寫下。
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現在也是，我們都不是被疫情耽誤的人。我們仍舊可以勇敢到追求夢想，理直氣壯地讓自己每天都快樂。因為這些人生的困難，真的很多不是我們能控制的。
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如果不能控制，就微笑吧。
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《IT’S OK》
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I moved to California in the Summertime
I changed my name thinking that it would change my mind
I thought I hid all my problems they would stay behind
I was a stick of dynamite and it just was a matter of time yeah
在夏天的時候我搬到了加州
我改了名字以為那會改變我的想法
我以為將我所有的問題都藏起來它們就不再會浮現出來
我是根遲早會爆炸的炸藥

“Oh dane, oh my, now I can’t hide, said I knew myself but I guess I lied
It’s okay, It’s okay, It’s okay, It’s okay,
If you lost, we’re all a little lost and it’s all right
It’s okay, It’s okay, It’s okay, It’s okay,
If you lost, we’re all a little lost and it’s all right”
It’s all right, it’s all right, it’s all right
可惡，天啊，如今我無法躲藏，我說我認識自己，但我想我說了謊。
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It’s okay, It’s okay, It’s okay, It’s okay,
如果你迷失了，我們都有點迷失，那沒有關係。
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It’s okay, It’s okay, It’s okay, It’s okay,
如果你迷失了，我們都有點迷失，那沒有關係。
那沒有關係，那沒有關係，那沒有關係。
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I wrote a hundred pages but I burned them all
yeah I burn them all
I blow through yellow light and don’t look back at all
I don’t look back at all
我寫了一百頁但我把它們全燒掉了
是的，我把它們全燒掉了
我闖過了黃燈，再也不往回看
我再也不往回看
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“Oh dane, oh my, now I can’t hide, said I knew what I wanted but I guess I lied
It’s okay, It’s okay, It’s okay, It’s okay,
If you lost, we’re all a little lost and it’s all right
It’s okay, It’s okay, It’s okay, It’s okay,
If you lost, we’re all a little lost and it’s all right”
Oh, it’s alright, to be lost sometimes
可惡，天啊，如今我無法躲藏，我說我知道自己想要什麼，但我想我說了謊。
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It’s okay, It’s okay, It’s okay, It’s okay,
如果你迷失了，我們都有點迷失，那沒有關係。
It’s okay, It’s okay, It’s okay, It’s okay,
如果你迷失了，我們都有點迷失，那沒有關係。
喔，有時迷失了那也沒有關係。
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#永遠不停止努力追求夢想
#好羨慕會唱歌的人

Eli Clifton 挖挖挖。

錢是台灣人民納稅，怎麼用卻不被揭露。美國智庫是拿錢辦事，還是以金援為名收受獻金為實？

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以下中文新聞內容轉自 旺報：

https://www.chinatimes.com/newspapers/20200619000151-260309?chdtv

華府智庫昆西治安研究所（Quincy Institute）民主外交政策計畫執行人克里夫頓（Eli Clifton）於17日發表《台灣金援智庫：無所不在但很少揭露》（Taiwan funding of think tanks: Omnipresent and rarely disclosed）一文指出，台灣金援了美國五大智庫，促使這些智庫向美國執政者建言，做出有利於台灣綠營執政政府的美國政策。該文發出後，台北經濟文化代表處政治組組長趙怡翔緊急在推特上指出，該文有錯失之處，且並未向台北經濟文化代表處查證置評。

文章稱，台灣金援的五個華府智庫包括布魯金斯學會、美國進步中心（CAP）、新美國安全中心（CNAS）、戰略與國際研究中心（CSIS）以及哈德遜研究所，都有來自於台北經濟文化代表處的資金，但都將其深埋在其年度報告中。這五個華盛頓最著名、看似公正的的智庫一直在發表政策文件，敦促美國與台灣建立更緊密的關係，擴大美國與台灣的武器銷售和貿易協定，卻沒有廣泛披露其背後來自台北經濟文化代表處（TECRO）的高額資金。

支持台有助民主自由

文章詳列台北經濟文化代表處對五大智庫的贊助金額，及這些智庫收到贊助後為台灣做了什麼。文章稱，布魯金斯學會學者於2019年12月為《台北時報》撰文，指出美國兩黨支持在台灣和美國的重要性；美國進步中心研究員在今年3月分《華盛頓月刊》上發表專欄文章稱，加強美台關係將有助民主自由，並在2019年9月發表《如何支持亞洲的民主與人權》報告時，直接向美國決策者「為如何穩固支持台灣」提供直接建議。

而新美國安全中心向華盛頓提供有關2020年《中國崛起的挑戰》報告時，敦促美國決策者優先考慮與台灣的雙邊投資和貿易協定；CSIS在5月發表前美國駐港澳總領事唐偉康（Kurt Tong）的文章，其中主張美台達成貿易協定，將能加強美國在亞洲領導地位。

倡售台集束炸彈抗中

哈德遜研究所則於5月向美國決策者提出售台「集束炸彈」，以便台灣可以威脅對中共具有重大政治價值的非軍事目標及領導人，並建議鼓勵台灣有效威脅中國的非軍事目標。還鼓勵美國決策者「做出直接有利於台灣綠營執政黨的政策」，敦促美國決策者承認「一個自治或獨立的台灣」。

原文請見：

Taiwan funding of think tanks: Omnipresent and rarely disclosed

https://responsiblestatecraft.org/2020/06/17/taiwan-funding-of-think-tanks-omnipresent-and-rarely-disclosed/

[節錄]

Why not disclose?

Hudson may be the most extreme in its policy proposals, but the consistent behavior from the five think tanks is unmistakable: General support funding from Taiwan’s government is never disclosed when experts, whose salaries may well be partially funded by TECRO dollars, offer policy recommendations regarding U.S.-Taiwan relations.

“My philosophy is that if you’re producing any report, you should put right up front in an acknowledgment section that lists the specific funders, including general-support funders, that helped make this report possible and list any potential conflict of interest with the funders,” said Freeman of the Foreign Influence Transparency Initiative. “Let the reader judge for themself whether there’s a conflict of interest.”

Though the appearance or possibility of a conflict of interest does not mean that the funding flows from Taiwan influenced the work products produced by the think tanks, the decision not to prominently disclose the funding may undermine otherwise valuable analysis and policy proposals.

“It seems like because they hid it, they have something to hide,” said Freeman. “When the public trust in government is at all-time lows and people think D.C. is so corrupt, it’s even more important for think tanks and think tank scholars to put this information out there and try and restore the trust of the American public.”

Indeed, as acceptance of a cold war posture toward China becomes ever more accepted as a foregone conclusion by Washington influencers, one of them actually highlighted the danger of foreign funding going largely undisclosed.

CNAS’s 2020 report that advocated for a U.S.-Taiwan trade agreement warned of think tanks receiving “substantial funding from Beijing that is often targeted at shaping views and discourse on China.” CNAS recommended “higher degrees of transparency” to help “ensure that this funding is not generating hidden forms of foreign lobbying, self-censorship, or other activities that undermine core U.S. democratic principles.”

That self-awareness about the potential influence of foreign funding, and the ethical arguments for greater transparency, does not appear to extend to the omnipresent funding stream from Taipei to think tanks across the Beltway.

Seorang Suami Menemui Sebuah Diari Arwah Isterinya Dan Hampir Pitam Selepas Membaca Kandungan Diari Tersebut Kerana Rupanya Arwah Isterinya Itu Sudah Banyak Kali...
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Apa yang nak aku tuliskan ini, jadikan lah sebagai pengajaran buat semua lelaki di luar sana yang bergelar suami. Kisah ini mungkin menyayat hati bagi yang masih ada ‘hati’.

Hari ni genap 67 hari arwah isteri aku meninggl. Dan selama 67 hari ini juga aku tak henti henti menangis di atas pemergian isteri yang paling aku sayang. Bukan aku tak redha, cuma aku rasa seperti tak lepas.

Seperti ada sesuatu yg belum selesai antara kami. Dan malam ini, aku terjaga bukan kerana tangisan baby yg minta disusukan, tapi kerana seakan terdengar dengar tangisan arwah. Allahu..aku tak kuat.

Aku dah berkahwin selama lebih kurg 3 tahun setengah dengan isteri. Kami kahwin muda. Seawal usia aku 20, dan isteri 19. Di awal perkahwinan, semuanya indah belaka. Aku sgt mencintai isteri sehingga langsung tak boleh berjauhan dengan nya.

Sampai kadang kadang bila kena oustation, aku menangis rindukan dia pada waktu malam (aku bekerja di company milik family, dan dia belajar di ipts dekat dgn rumah) . Pergi ke mana saja, aku akan bawa dia bersama. Hatta keluar isi minyak atau beli top up pun dia akan merengek nak ikut. Isteri aku mmg manja org nya dan type of overly attached wife. Tapi aku tak rimas, malah aku suka.

Kami memang sangat rapat. Tambahan pula kami bercinta lepas nikah. We explore everything together. Bila dia cuti sem, aku akan bawa dia berjalan mana dia nak pergi. Isteri aku cantik orgnya. Bukan aku puji sebab dia isteri aku, tetapi sebab semua orang pun cakap perkara sama.

Bila keluar, kalau isteri aku melaram mesti ada je mata yang duk pandang pandang. Memang aku sakit hati, tapi aku pujuk diri dengan cakap takpelah, dia milik aku skrg. Lagipun aku tahu isteri aku mmg jenis sangat tidak melayan.

Bercakap dengan lelaki pun kurang. Dulu masa nak pikat hati dia pun ambil masa berbulan baru dapat kenal. Dia seorang yang sopan, dan menutup aurat dengan sempurna.

Dari awal kahwin, sehingga hampir setahun, aku rasa sangat senang dengan arwah. Kalau boleh, aku nak ada dekat dengan dia je 24jam. Bila ada kerja luar, aku akan settlekan cepat dan berkejar nak balik rumah.

Namun bila masa berlalu, tanpa aku sedar aku makin banyak berubah. Tanpa aku sedar, arwah makan hati dalam diam. Aku makin jauh dengan dia. Aku sibuk dengan kerja luar, sehingga aku rasa seronok berada di luar berbanding di rumah bersama isteri. Kadang kadang, aku cari je apa yang boleh aku settlekan di luar rumah sebab aku bosan stay dekat rumah.

Sepanjang perkahwinan, mmg aku langsung tak pernah keluar kalau bukan bersama arwah. Apa lagi nak lepak malam malam dengan kawan lama. Sampai laa suatu masa aku join macam macam club kereta dan motor.

Makin banyak alasan aku nak jumpa kawan itu dan kawan ini. Mula mula arwah diam , lama lama dia mula merungut yang dia bosan di rumah kesorangan. Tapi aku tak peduli pun. Kadang kadang dia menangis sebab kecil hati dengan aku. Tapi setiap kali dia menangis bila bergaduh atau berkecil hati, aku tak pernah pedulikan dia. Sedar sedar dia dah tertidur dengan air mata kat pipi.

Ye, aku tahu aku suami yg jahat. Aku biasakan dia dengan layanan seperti seorang puteri, kemudian aku ragut semuanya . Dari seorang suami yang cukup lembut, aku berubah menjadi seperti seekor singa bila bergaduh.

Aku akan ignore dia. Aku akan cakap kasar kasar dengan dia. Tangan aku mula pandai sentuh badan dia (itu kalau dia yg mulakan dulu). Sampai kadang kadang aku rasa mcm jodoh aku dengan dia dah takde.

Kami kerap bertengkar. Dan kebanyakannya berpunca dari sikap dia yang terlalu kuat cemburu. Tapi itu dulu, masa dia hidup. Bila dia dah pergi, baru aku sedar. Dia bukannya cemburu buta tetapi dia mahu aku jadi suami yg soleh. Dia mahukan yg terbaik untuk dunia dan akhirat aku. Allah, berdosanya aku.

Aku mengaku, aku memang susah nak jaga mata. Bila keluar berdua, dan ada perempuan cantik yg melintas depan kami mesti mata aku akan terpesona tgk kecantikan perempuan tu. Padahal isteri aku ada kat sebelah. Dan isteri aku pun sangat cantik.

Tapi aku tak pernah sedar semua tu. Bagi aku biasa lah tu lelaki mmg suka tgk perempuan cantik. Aku tak tahu yang isteri aku sedih dengan sikap aku tu. Arwah selalu tegur. Tapi aku buat tak tahu je. Sampai satu masa arwah dah tak tegur lagi, mungkin dia dah penat dengan perkara sama. Aku memang tak tahu bersyukur. Aku tak pernah rasa cukup dgn apa yg aku adaa. Sedangkan arwah dah cukup segalanya

To be honest, aku juga sukar jaga mata dari pandang perkara haram. Kadang kadang aku terlajak layan video prno. Tapi arwah tak pernah tahu. Sampai la satu hari masa dia mengandung 3 bulan, aku kantoi. Masa tu dia sedih sgt, sampai dapat migrain dan kena admit ward sebab pre eclampsia .

Aku risau sgt pasal baby masa tu. Dan it was the last time aku tgk mende keji tu. Aku dah bersumpah pada diri sendiri yg aku takkan tonton lagi umpan syaitan tu. Aku tak tahu kenapa, isteri aku halal untuk aku datangi bila bila masa tetapi pelacur di website itu juga yg aku nak tengok. Sedangkan t
Sedangkan tbuh isteri lebih cantik dari semua tu. Aku hina. Aku memang pendosa

Mulai hari tu, aku tengok isteri rajin bangun solat malam. Aku tahu, dia mengadu kepada Allah perihal aku. Aku tahu, dia bangun untuk doakan kebaikan bagi aku. Itupun semua aku tahu lepas dia dah pergi. Lepas dia dah meninggl. Lepas dah terlewat semua nya.

Seminggu lepas dia meninggl, aku kemas luggage pakaian dia. Dan aku terjumpa satu buku tebal. Aku ingatkan buku nota study dia. Rupanya dalam tu penuh catatan diari dia dari mula kahwin dengan aku sampai la hari terakhir sebelum di admit ward untuk give birth.

Aku baca semua. Air mata aku tumpas. Akurasa masa tu aku nak pergi gali semulaa kubur arwah aku nak peluk dia, aku nak cium dia, aku nak minta maaf aku nak minta ampun. Aku banyak dosa dengan dia.

“Abang, kenapa abg tengok semua tu. Sayang kan ada kalau abg berhajat? Mungkin sayang tak mengiurkan macam pelakon pelakon dlm video lcah tu. Syg minta maaf kalau syg tak pandai layan abg, sampai abg cari kepuasan melalui cara tu.

Ya allah, kau berilah hidayah pada suami aku. Abang, semoga Allah pelihara abang dari pandangan haram ye. Moga hati dan iman abg kuat ye. Takpe, syg tolong doakan abang setiap malam dan di setiap sujud syg. ”

” Cemburunya tengok abg duk pandang pandang perempuan tu tadi. Mmg la cantik. Tapi syg dah usaha habis baik nk bagi cantik jugakk bila keluar dgn abg

Sehelai demi sehelai lembaran tu aku belek. Dari sekecil kecil hingga ke sebesar besar hal dia ceritakan semua dalam buku tu. Baru skrg aku sedar , aku kurang beri perhatian pada dia selama ni. Dan ada satu luahan dalam buku tu ingatkan aku pada satu detik masa awal kehamilan arwah.

“Abang abang! Rasaa ni baby gerakk la! Aku emmm emm je. Mata asyik duk hadap hp. Bosan dgr dia merengek, aku alih tangan letak atas perut dia. Tapi mata masih lekat di skrin telefon. Dan segala kesedihan tu dia luahkan dalam buku tu. Memang aku dengar dia menangis malam tu tapi aku tak peduli pun. Mmg aku tak pernah nak pujuk kalau dia menangis. Apatah lagi nak tanya kenapa. Allahu.. kejam nya aku. Aku tak pernah peduli apa dia rasa.

Banyak yg aku baca dalam diari arwah. Patut laa dia dapat pre eclampsia (high blood prssure during pregnancy) . Padahal umur baru setahun jagung dan ini first baby. Rupanya banyak yg dia stress dan fikir pasal aku. Selama ni tanpa aku sedar, dia byk hide semua post di fb yg nengandungi unsur tak baik atau gmbr perempuan seksi. Betapa dia nak jaga dan nak bantu aku jadi baik.

Jahatnya aku. Memang aku tak pernah ada perempuan lain. Tapi aku seksa perasaan dan emosi dia. Dari apa yg aku baca, dia seolah menjadi sgt paranoid, memikirkan apa yg aku lihat di hp berkait dengan perempuan sksi, perempuan lain, atau tidak. Aku tak salahkan dia. Ini semua salah aku. Aku tak pernah fikir perasaan dia. Aku anggap semua remeh, semua kecil. Sedangkan dia menanggung derita yg besar.

Aku ingat lagi beberapa hari sebelum dia admit ward utk bersalin. Sewaktu dia nak turun beli makanan, dia sempat bergurau. Abang, rindu laa nak dengar abang ckp “awak jalan elok2 tau. Kalau ada org kacau, jerit nama abg kuat2”. Mmg dulu aku sangat lembut dan romantik dgn dia. Tapi aku xtahu mana semua tu pergi. Bukan arwah tak pernah cakap yg dia rindu aku yang dulu. Tapi aku tak pernah peduli.

Sekarang, semua dah takde. Yang tinggal hanya kenangan. Kenangan yang tak boleh mengembalikan apa apa. Dan arwah tinggalkan aku bersama zuriat kami. Nur amsya imani. Wajah iras sangat dengan arwah. Setiap kali aku pandang wajah anak syurga ini, setiap kali tu wajah arwah terbayang di mata. Allah..macam mana aku nak lalui hari hari mendatang.

Sungguh, aku sunyi. Dan sekarang baru aku faham erti sunyi yg isteri aku cakapkan selama ni bila stay dekat rumah sorang diri. Patut laa selama ni dia tak pernah tidur, dan tunggu aku balik walaupun tengah malam. Rupanya dia tak dapat tidur bila aku takde kat sblh

Aku dah hilang segalanya. Aku dah hilang isteri solehah yg sentiasa doakan kebaikan aku. aku dah hilang isteri yg selama ni jadi penguat aku. Abang rinduu nak naik motor dengan awak, sayang.. mcm awal kahwin dulu.

Pukul 1 pagi awak ajak round taman. Abang rinduu nak gurau dengan awak. Balik laa sayangg.. abg janji abg tak keluar dengan kawan dah. Abang janji abang tak hadap hp 24jam dah. Abang janji abg xpandang perempuan lain dah. Abang janji :(.

Menangis lah air mata darah pun. Arwah takkan kembali. Aku takde apa nak pesan banyak banyak. Tapi ambil laa kisah aku sebagai pengajaran. Tolong laa ambil sebagai pengajaran. Jangan sampai semua terlambat, baru kau nak menyesal. Aku menyesal. Menyesal. Menyesal.
A husband found a diary of his late wife and almost swoon after reading his diary content because apparently his late wife has many times...
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What I want to write about, make it a lesson for all the men out there who are called husbands. This story may be heartbreaking for those who still have 'heart'.

Today is only 67 days my late wife left. And for the past 67 days I haven't stopped crying over the passing of the wife that I love most. It's not that I don't accept it, it's just that I

It seems like there is something unfinished between us. And tonight, I'm awake not because of the baby's cry that asked to be breastfeed, but because it's like hearing the cry of the late Allahu.. I'm not strong.

I've been married for more than 3 years and a half to my wife. We married young. As early as I was 20, and wife 19. At the beginning of marriage, everything was beautiful. I love my wife so much that she can't be far from her.

Until sometimes when I get oustation, I cry missing him at night (I work in the family's company, and he's studying in IPTS near home). Go anywhere, I'll take her along. Hatta comes out of oil or even buy top up he will cry to follow. My wife is really spoiled by her person and type of overly attached wife. But I'm not crazy, but I like it.

We are very close. Plus we love after marriage. We explore everything together. When he's a semester holiday, I'll take him to walk where he wants to go. My wife is beautiful. I don't praise because she's my wife, but because everyone says the same.

When it comes out, if my wife dresses up there must be eyes that are looking at. I'm really hurt, but I persuade myself by saying it's okay, he's mine now. After all, I know that my wife is very kind of not entertaining.

Talking to a man is also lacking. In the past, when he was about to catch his heart, he took months to get to know him. He's a polite person, and cover his body perfectly.

From the beginning of marriage, until almost a year, I feel so happy with the late. If possible, I would like to be close to him for 24 hours. When there's an outdoor job, I'll settle fast and chase to go home.

But when time passes by, without me realizing I change more. Without me realizing, the spirit eats the heart in silence. I'm getting far away from him. I'm busy with outdoor work, until I feel good to be out there rather than home with my wife. Sometimes, I'm just looking for something that I can settle outside the house because I'm bored staying at home.

Throughout the marriage, I will never go out if not with the deceased. What else to hang out at night with old friends. Until one time I joined like a car and motor club.

More excuses for me to meet that friend and friend. At first the late was quiet, long time ago he started complaining that he was bored at home alone. But I don't care. Sometimes she cries because she's small with me. But everytime she cries when she fights or gets discouraged, I never cared about her. Realized that he fell asleep with tears on the cheek.

Yes, I know I'm a bad husband. I used to do her with service like a princess, then I snatched all of them. From a gentle husband, I turned into a lion when fighting.

I will ignore him. I'd be rude to him. My hands are starting to touch his body (that's if he started it first). Until sometimes I feel like my partner with him is gone.

We fight a lot. And most of them are caused by his attitude that is too jealous. But that was the time he lived. When he's gone, then I'll realize. He's not jealous but he wants me to be a good husband. He wants the best for my world and my afterlife. Allah, I am sinning.

I confess, I am hard to keep my eyes open. When both of you come out, and there's a beautiful woman who passes in front of us, my eyes will be amazed by the beauty of the Even though my wife is beside me. And my wife is very beautiful too.

But I never realized all that. For me it's normal that men like to look at beautiful women. I didn't know that my wife was saddened by my attitude. The late always greets. But I just don't know. Until one time the deceased hasn't told me anymore, maybe he's tired of the same thing. I don't know how to be grateful. I have never felt enough with what I have. While the deceased is enough

To be honest, I'm also hard to keep my eyes from looking at illegal things. Sometimes I watch the video too much. But the spirit never knew. Until one day when she was pregnant for 3 months, I was caught. At that time he was so sad, until he got migraine and got admitted to the ward because of pre eclampsia.

I was so worried about the baby at that time. And it was the last time I saw that cruel thing. I swear to myself that I won't watch the devil's bait anymore. I don't know why, my wife is halal for me to come to me anytime but the prostitute on the website is also what I want to see. Whereas t
While the wife is prettier than all that. I am despicable. I am indeed a sinner

From the other day, I saw the wife awake at night prayer. I know, he complains to Allah about me. I know, he woke up to pray for me for the goodness. That's all I knew after he was gone. After he left. After all it's too late.

A week ago she left, I cleaned her clothes luggage. And I found a thick book. I thought it was his study notebook. Apparently the diary is full of notes from starting to marry me until the last day before admitted to the ward to give birth.

I read all. My tears are broken. I feel that time I want to dig back the grave of my late I want to hug him, I want to kiss him, I want to apologize. I have sinned with him.

′′ Brother, why do you look at all that. Love is there if you wish? Maybe it's a pity that you don't like the actress in the video of the crazy video I'm sorry if I don't know how to treat me, until I find satisfaction through that way.

Ya Allah, please give guidance to my husband. Brother, may Allah protect you from illegal opinion. May my heart and faith be strong okay. It's okay, dear, please pray for me every night and every kneel dear. ′′ ′′

′′ It's jealous looking at brother looking at that woman just now. It's really beautiful. But unfortunately I've tried it and it's better to make it beautiful when I'm out with

One piece by one piece I turn into the sheet. From as small to small as big as he says everything in the book. Now I'm aware, I haven't paid attention to him all this time. And there's one expression in the book that reminds me of the early moment of the late pregnancy.

′′ Brother brother! I think this is a baby! Me emmm emm je. Eyes keep on facing hp. Tired of hearing him whining, I put my hand on his stomach. But the eyes are still stuck on the phone screen. And all the sadness he expressed in the book. I heard him crying that night but I don't care. I never wanted to persuade him if he cried. What else to ask why. Allahu.. I'm so cruel. I never cared what she felt.

I read a lot in the late diary. No wonder he got pre eclampsia (high blood pressure during pregnancy). Even though it's only a year of corn and this is the first baby. Apparently he's stressed out and thought about me. All this while without me realizing it, he hid all the posts on Facebook that contain bad elements or sexy women's pictures. How much he wants to take care of and help me be good.

I am evil. I never had another woman. But I torture her feelings and emotions. From what I read, she seems to be very paranoid, thinking of what I saw on her phone related to women, other women, or not. I don't blame her. This is all my fault. I never thought about her feelings. I take everything trivial, all small. While he suffered a big suffering.

I still remember a few days before he admitted to the ward to give birth. When he wanted to go down to buy food, he had time to joke around. Brother, I miss listening to my brother say ′′ you walk well. If someone disturbs me, shout out my name loudly ". I was so soft and romantic with him. But I don't know where all that went. It's not the spirit that he misses the old me. But I never cared.

Now, everything is gone. All that is left is memories. Memories that can't bring back anything. And the spirit left me with our children. Nur Amsya Imani. The face is very similar to the spirit. Every time I look at the face of this heavenly child, every time the face of the deceased is imagined in the eyes Allah.. how am I going through the coming days.

Really, I'm quiet. And now I only understand the meaning of silence that my wife has been talking about all this while staying at home alone. No wonder he hasn't slept yet, and wait for me to come back even though it's midnight. Apparently he can't sleep when I'm not beside me

I lost everything. I have lost my solehah wife who always pray for my goodness. I've lost my wife who has been my booster all this time. I miss riding a motorbike with you, dear.. like I got married early.

At 1 am you invite me to round the park. I miss joking with you. Come back dear.. I promise I won't be with my friends anymore. I promise I won't face my phone for 24 hours. I promise that I don't look at other women anymore. I promise :(.

Crying tears of blood. The spirit will never return. I don't want to order a lot. But take my story as a teaching. Please take it as a teaching. Don't let it be late, then you regret it. I'm sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry.Translated

《daydream》
twoface / 難以追求的真實容貌
作詞 / Lyricist：内澤崇仁
作曲 / Composer：内澤崇仁
編曲 / Arranger：玉井健二・飛内将大
歌 / Singer：Aimer
翻譯：澄野（CH Music Channel）
意譯：CH（CH Music Channel）
English Translation:Toria

背景 / Background - 小さな私 - ヒラカナ:
https://www.pixiv.net/artworks/80615993

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中文翻譯 / Chinese Translation :
https://home.gamer.com.tw/creationDetail.php?sn=4870280

英文翻譯 / English Translation :
https://www.lyrical-nonsense.com/lyrics/aimer/twoface/

日文歌詞 / Japanese Lyrics :
These words became this song　あなたまで届かない
心は冷えきって　形はないのに揺れた
わたしはいつも通り　予定通り逃げ出して
こぼれ落ちた涙は　何も語らない

I don't want you anymore　傷つくのは得意
鼻歌　喜色満面　にじむ星屑を見るの
びしょぬれの夜はコントロールできない
それでも隠してきた　でももう隠せないホントを
ホントのホント　ホントの感情

Just wanna be with you　離さないで
悲しい夜を乗り越えて　あなたに出会えた

息が止まる前に紡いで　終わりが来ても終わらせないで
知らないふりで笑ってたんだ　本当は大声で泣きたかった

何も無いって思ってた心が震えて
波しぶきが舞い上がって星屑を消した
闇と光の狭間で踊る夜光虫
額縁に入れた感情なんていらないホントを
ホントのホント　ホントの感情

Just wanna be with you　恐れないで
涙も夢も引き裂かないで　さよならしないで

まぶたも耳も塞いでたんだ　何度も何度も叫んでたんだ
気づかないふりで笑ってたんだ　傷つけていたのはわたしだった

命が消えて終わりじゃない　ゼロに戻しても始まりじゃない
ねえ　世界に色を付けてみてよ

Just wanna be with you　離さないで
悲しい夜を乗り越えよう
本物　偽物　ホントもウソも　とらえた心が見せてたんだ
あなたにとってわたしは何だ？わたしにとってあなたは？

中文歌詞 / Chinese Lyrics :
種種話語形塑成歌，卻無法響徹至你心中
心意早已冷落，不成形體卻仍受躁動擺盪
我亦如往常，如往常般逃離一切
滿溢而漫出流下的眼淚，已無需作任何解釋

「我已經不需要你了。」逐漸擅長傷害他人
哼著歌，嘗試滿面喜色地望著滲進夜空的星塵
虛偽的感情於磅礡的傾盆大雨中漸漸失去控制
儘管能夠掩藏至今，卻再也藏不住真正的——
心中最真切、真摯、不可否認的感情

「我僅是想伴在你的身旁，拜託別離我而去。」
撐過並跨越這滿佈悲傷的夜晚，只求能與你相遇

嚥下最後一口氣前苟延慘喘地編寫感情，即使終焉臨近也別令其完結
只是故作不知道而笑著，但其實一直都想放聲大哭

原以為早已死寂的內心卻如聲顫抖
浪沫拍打上黑夜洗去點點星屑
如浪中暗與明間隙穿梭躍舞的夜光蟲
我才不需要嵌進畫框般靜止的感情，而是——
心中最誠摯、真實、毋庸置疑的感情

「我只想和你在一起！」我已不再畏懼
請別撕裂那淚水與夢想遺留的種種，也請不要再作道別

我闔上眼也掩著耳，我可是這樣無數次地無數次地叫喊著
我竟能裝作未察覺而笑著，製造傷痛的人其實是我啊

生命流逝並不代表終點；回歸虛無也不代表起始
那你，試著將這世界染上色彩吧

「我僅是想伴在你的身旁，拜託別離我而去。」
度過並跨越這無數悲傷的夜晚
在理解真相、虛假、實話、謊言之後，我的內心已能夠辨別真偽
對你而言我是什麼？對我而言你又是什麼？

英文歌詞 / English Lyrics :
These words became this song; it won’t reach you
My heart grew chilly and shook, despite having no form
Just like always, just like planned, I ran away
These overflowing tears tell no story

I don’t want you anymore, I’m so good at getting hurt
I’ll hum, beam with joy, and watch the streaks of stardust
I can’t control sopping-wet nights
Even so, I hid them… But I can’t hide them anymore, my true
True, true, true feelings

I just wanna be with you, don’t leave me!
I overcame a sorrowful night
And met you

Just speak, before my breath stops
Even if the end comes, don’t let it end
Laughing, pretending not to notice
What I really wanted to do was cry loudly

My heart shook, thinking it was nothing
The salt spray whirled into the air, erasing the stardust
The plankton glow, dancing between darkness and light
I don’t need feelings that sit in a picture frame, true
True, true, true feelings

I just wanna be with you, don’t be scared
Don’t rip up our tears and dreams
Don’t make this goodbye

You were covering your eyes and ears
Crying out over and over
Pretending not to notice and laughing
The one causing pain… was me

Even if your life burns out, that’s not the end
Even if you return to zero, that’s not the beginning
Hey, just try adding some color to the world

I just wanna be with you, don’t leave me!
Let’s overcome this sorrowful night
What’s real, what’s fake, truth, lies
My ensnared heart showed them all
Just what am I to you?
To me, you’re…?