【#聊聊高敏感特質:難搞,龜毛,情緒起伏大,堅持,愛哭,超會察言觀色,完美主義,為什麼為什麼大轟炸⋯⋯沒關係的,這樣的孩子一樣可以好好長大。(文末附高敏感特質量表)】
以上的形容很接近你家的小野獸嗎?如果你的心頭一直出現「中獎」的感覺,也許你家的孩子也跟蕃茄一樣,是具有「#高敏感特質」的孩子。
蕃茄剛滿三歲不久,我跟傑克去幼稚園參加人生第一次的家長會。萬萬沒想到,這個第一次就得到一份「大禮」。老師告訴我們,蕃茄是一個非常敏感的孩子,建議我們要留心。「他有一個揉臉的習慣動作,」老師邊模仿邊說明:「在我的經驗裡,有高敏感特質的人常有這樣的動作,只是我第一次在這麼小的孩子身上看到。」
我看得出老師非常極力在澄清一些事,他補充了很正面的敘述:「這沒關係的,這是好事,表示他會很有創造力,感受力很強,只是他會需要多一些關心。」
但老師的態度反而讓我們焦慮起來,為什麼需要「留心」?為什麼他要說「沒關係」?我們需要「關心」什麼?他為什麼看起來好像在安慰我們?是因為在日本,老師不敢直接跟我們明說孩子有問題嗎?我們的小孩到底怎麼了?
經過一個禮拜不眠不休瘋狂地在網路上鑽研,我才終於好好「消化」了老師給我們的提醒。
「高敏感特質」這個概念的歷史其實很短,一九九六年由美國精神分析專家伊蓮艾融博士所提出,距離今天也才不過短短二十四年前。#高度敏感不是一種需要矯正的疾病,而是一種人格特質,就像「外向」或是「內向」一樣。雖然這個族群不是社會中的多數,但是比例上每五個人就有一個人擁有高敏感特質,並不少見。
擁有高敏感特質的孩子有什麼實際上的不同?美國的醫學博士湯瑪士波依斯使用了一個很美麗的比喻:「如果想像養育其他的孩子是種植蒲公英,#那麼養育高敏感特質的孩子就像是培育蘭花。」(這本The Orchid and The Dandelion去年才出版,今年一月在台灣已經有翻譯本了,書名就叫做「蘭花與蒲公英」。博客來的簡介在此👉https://www.books.com.tw/products/0010845711。我已經預計入手,之後再來分享心得)
白話文就是:「其他的孩子隨便養隨便大,高敏感的這一個就是要耗盡心力專搞他一個人就飽了!」(抱頭痛哭)
突然間,蕃茄一切的怪僻都得到了解釋。難怪他會抱怨某些老師或同學的聲音不好聽,所以不想跟他們說話。難怪他去沙坑只肯要我們玩給他看,自己絕對不動手。難怪吃個東西一直討衛生紙擦嘴擦手,有沾到就要擦。
我由衷的感謝蕃茄的老師當初給我們的提點。這件事對我們最大的幫助,就是讓我們做好心理準備,知道這是一朵獨一無二的小蘭花,它對自己生長的溫度,濕度,土質,日照都有非常精細的要求。就算有蘭花的基本教養指南,我們還是得自己去摸索出最適合這朵小花的條件,才能幫助他成長茁壯。
#每個高敏感特質的孩子都不一樣,但他們總是會注意到你看不見的細節,聽見你沒有察覺的聲音,聞到嚐到你不覺得有什麼不一樣的味道,抱怨你從來不覺得是困擾的問題。家長必須要變身成偵探,去猜,去想,去溝通,去推理,去嘗試。學會不怕犯錯,不怕堅持底線,不怕地雷爆炸,不怕收拾殘局,不怕修補關係。
經過這樣的痛苦掙扎之後,這朵小花會在每一次你開始懷疑自己的時刻,用他自己的方式告訴你:爸爸媽媽,沒問題的,我又更長大一點了。
___
#好奇你的孩子是否有高敏感特質嗎?以下的量表來自伊蓮・艾融博士的高敏感特質網站,原文是英文,以下是我自行翻譯的版本:[Is Your Child Highly Sensitive? – The Highly Sensitive Person](http://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-child-test/)
請以直覺判斷以下的敘述。如果以下的敘述非常符合,是至少中等程度以上符合你的孩子的個性,或在過去一段相當程度的時間符合這個敘述,請把它列入「是」。如果這個敘述不怎麼符合,或完全不符合你的孩子的個性,請列入「不是」。
🍅很容易受到驚嚇
🍅時常抱怨衣服的材質,襪子裡的織線,或者是背後的標籤讓他不舒服
🍅通常不怎麼喜歡太大的驚喜
🍅溫和提醒比嚴厲的處罰有效果
🍅好像有讀心術一樣知道家長在想什麼
🍅會使用對他的年紀而言很高深的字彙
🍅會注意到非常細微的異味
🍅有很獨特的幽默感
🍅似乎有很強的直覺,可以幫助他做判斷
🍅如果太過興奮會很難入睡
🍅很難適應大的改變
🍅如果衣服濕了或者沾到沙子就得把衣服換掉
🍅有大量的問題想問
🍅有完美主義
🍅會注意到其他人強烈的負面情緒,例如說擔憂,哀傷或是痛苦
🍅比較喜歡靜態的活動
🍅會問一些很深刻,很有啟發性的問題
🍅對疼痛的感覺非常敏感
🍅很受到吵雜的空間的干擾
🍅會注意到微小的細節,例如有東西被移動過,或者某人的外型改變了之類的
🍅在爬到高處前會先確認是不是安全
🍅在沒有陌生人的環境下表現得最好
🍅對事物有很深刻的感受
如果回答「是」的項目超過13個,或是只有一到兩項符合但是符合的程度非常極端地高,那你的孩子很有可能擁有高敏感特質。
蕃茄總共拿下21個項目(攤手),你們家的孩子有幾項呢?歡迎留言討論分享😀
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highly sensitive person test 在 Pakar diari hati Facebook 的最佳貼文
Which of the 9 pictures captures your attention the most?.. Then look for your number and read the personality description. Does it fit well with your personality?
Personality Test Results:
1. Freedom loving
Freedom is important to you - nothing is worse than when you feel tied down. You may find you move jobs or location frequently because the idea of staying in one place too long unnerves you. The same can apply to relationships! People see you as fun loving, and you are. You attempt to enjoy life to the full, in accordance with the motto: "You only live once." You tend to attract less energetic people as friends or partners, like moths to a flame, they see you as the light. Careful they don't drain you! You are very curious and open about everything new and thrive on change. Quite simply, you are a breath of fresh air.
2. Independent and unconventional
Your lifestyle is highly individualistic. You do not follow the crowd, on the contrary, you seek to live according to your own ideas and convictions, even if this means swimming against the tide. You need a free and unattached life that allows you to determine your own course. You have an artistic bent in your work or leisure activities. Your urge for freedom sometimes causes you to do exactly the opposite of what is expected of you. You are rather unique, so don't bother comparing yourself to anyone else. Live life your way.
3. Sensitive and reflective
You are comfortable spending hours alone with your thoughts and rarely become bored. You dislike superficiality; you'd rather be alone than have to suffer through small talk. Your relationships with your friends are very strong, which gives you the inner tranquillity and harmony that you require. You love deeply but if someone betrays you it is next to impossible to forgive. You are an old soul, someone who has lived many times before and has seen it all. All you crave now is simplicity and the chance to focus your attention on a meaningful existence.
4. Down to earth and charming
You have a natural authentic charm, what you see is what you get. People admire you because you seem so 'together'. You have both feet planted firmly on the ground and they can depend on you. While others complicate their life with ifs and buts, you know your own mind. You provide security and space to those close to you. You are a rock, and although others may not tell you, you are the sun around which they revolve. You dislike superficiality and tend to be skeptical toward the whims of trends. Where others crash and burn, you motor on, quietly achieving all you need to do. You are a woman (or man) of substance.
5. Professional and self-assured
You take charge of your life, and place less faith in your luck and more in your own actions. You solve problems in a practical, uncomplicated manner. You take a realistic view of things in your daily life and tackle them without fuss. You are given responsibility at work, because people know that you can be depended upon. You project self-assurance to others. You are a born leader and organiser. Although you work well in a team, ideally you should be the one giving the orders. After all, you are usually right!
6. Peaceful and timeless
You are easy-going yet discreet. There is a timeless elegance about you (think Audrey Hepburn). You make friends effortlessly, yet enjoy your privacy and independence. You like to get away from it all and be alone from time to time to contemplate the meaning of life. You need space, so you escape to hideaways, but you are not a loner. You are at peace with yourself and the world, and you appreciate life and what this world has to offer. You have a strong life purpose and when you discover it, you project your personal brand of magic on the world.
7. Cultured and classical
Cultured and sophisticated you value the things money can't necessarily buy - good conversation, original ideas, music and the arts. You have a fair mind and can see both sides of an argument. You rarely let emotions get the better of you, preferring to assess situations rationally. Calm, logical and yet compassionate and kind. You have 'old-fashioned' principles, which at heart make you a real lady (or gentleman). A timeless, vintage classic - the sort of person everyone secretly admires and likes to copy.
8. Sensitive and spiritual
You are a highly sensitive and spiritual person. You refuse to see life only from a rational view point. You have great intuition and trust your feelings. You must have dreams to aspire towards or you won't feel happy. You like to improve yourself, and in so doing make a difference in the world - even if only in little ways. You find it hard to understand people who are only guided rationality. You form true relationships with open souls, people who know there is more to life than we can touch, see or hear. Your psychic sense is highly evolved, trust it and work with it.
9. Dynamic and sparkly
You are a mover and a shaker! You are willing to take risks in return for interesting and varied work. Routine tends to have a paralysing effect on you. Being stuck behind a desk 9-5 would destroy your soul and enthusiasm for life. You need to be given the chance to express your ideas and put them into action. You have a rainbow personality, and can cheer others up, even on the gloomiest of days. If you ever feel you have lost your sparkle it is because the situation you find yourself in is not right for you. Follow your enthusiasm, even if it means you chop and change for years. The journey is as important as the destination.
highly sensitive person test 在 Thai Top Fitness Facebook 的最佳解答
146 Reasons Why Sugar Is Ruining Your Health
146 เหตุผลที่เราไม่ควรกินน้ำตาล
By Nancy Appleton, Ph.D.
(สำหรับคนที่ยังคิดว่ามันมีข้อดีบ้างครับ อาหารทุกชนิดมีข้อดีบ้าง เพียงแต่ว่าเราต้องชั่งข้อดีกับข้อเสียกันครับ)
1. Sugar can suppress the immune system.
2. Sugar upsets the mineral relationships in the body.
3. Sugar can cause hyperactivity, anxiety, difficulty concentrating, and crankiness in children.
4. Sugar can produce a significant rise in triglycerides.
5. Sugar contributes to the reduction in defense against bacterial infection (infectious diseases).
6. Sugar causes a loss of tissue elasticity and function, the more sugar you eat the more elasticity and function you loose.
7. Sugar reduces high density lipoproteins.
8. Sugar leads to chromium deficiency.
9 Sugar leads to cancer of the ovaries.
10. Sugar can increase fasting levels of glucose.
11. Sugar causes copper deficiency.
12. Sugar interferes with absorption of calcium and magnesium.
13. Sugar can weaken eyesight.
14. Sugar raises the level of a neurotransmitters: dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine.
15. Sugar can cause hypoglycemia.
16. Sugar can produce an acidic digestive tract.
17. Sugar can cause a rapid rise of adrenaline levels in children.
18. Sugar malabsorption is frequent in patients with functional bowel disease.
19. Sugar can cause premature aging.
20. Sugar can lead to alcoholism.
21. Sugar can cause tooth decay.
22. Sugar contributes to obesity
23. High intake of sugar increases the risk of Crohn's disease, and ulcerative colitis.
24. Sugar can cause changes frequently found in person with gastric or duodenal ulcers.
25. Sugar can cause arthritis.
26. Sugar can cause asthma.
27. Sugar greatly assists the uncontrolled growth of Candida Albicans (yeast infections).
28. Sugar can cause gallstones.
29. Sugar can cause heart disease.
30. Sugar can cause appendicitis.
31. Sugar can cause multiple sclerosis.
32. Sugar can cause hemorrhoids.
33. Sugar can cause varicose veins.
34. Sugar can elevate glucose and insulin responses in oral contraceptive users.
35. Sugar can lead to periodontal disease.
36. Sugar can contribute to osteoporosis.
37. Sugar contributes to saliva acidity.
38. Sugar can cause a decrease in insulin sensitivity.
39. Sugar can lower the amount of Vitamin E (alpha-Tocopherol in the blood.
40. Sugar can decrease growth hormone.
41. Sugar can increase cholesterol.
42. Sugar can increase the systolic blood pressure.
43. Sugar can cause drowsiness and decreased activity in children.
44. High sugar intake increases advanced glycation end products (AGEs)(Sugar bound non-enzymatically to protein)
45. Sugar can interfere with the absorption of protein.
46. Sugar causes food allergies.
47. Sugar can contribute to diabetes.
48. Sugar can cause toxemia during pregnancy.
49. Sugar can contribute to eczema in children.
50. Sugar can cause cardiovascular disease.
51. Sugar can impair the structure of DNA
52. Sugar can change the structure of protein.
53. Sugar can make our skin age by changing the structure of collagen.
54. Sugar can cause cataracts.
55. Sugar can cause emphysema.
56. Sugar can cause atherosclerosis.
57. Sugar can promote an elevation of low density lipoproteins (LDL).
58. High sugar intake can impair the physiological homeostasis of many systems in the body.
59. Sugar lowers the enzymes ability to function.
60. Sugar intake is higher in people with Parkinson’s disease.
61. Sugar can cause a permanent altering the way the proteins act in the body.
62. Sugar can increase the size of the liver by making the liver cells divide.
63. Sugar can increase the amount of liver fat.
64. Sugar can increase kidney size and produce pathological changes in the kidney.
65. Sugar can damage the pancreas.
66. Sugar can increase the body's fluid retention.
67. Sugar is enemy #1 of the bowel movement.
68. Sugar can cause myopia (nearsightedness).
69. Sugar can compromise the lining of the capillaries.
70. Sugar can make the tendons more brittle.
71. Sugar can cause headaches, including migraine.
72. Sugar plays a role in pancreatic cancer in women.
73. Sugar can adversely affect school children's grades and cause learning disorders..
74. Sugar can cause an increase in delta, alpha, and theta brain waves.
75. Sugar can cause depression.
76. Sugar increases the risk of gastric cancer.
77. Sugar and cause dyspepsia (indigestion).
78. Sugar can increase your risk of getting gout.
79. Sugar can increase the levels of glucose in an oral glucose tolerance test over the ingestion of complex carbohydrates.
80. Sugar can increase the insulin responses in humans consuming high-sugar diets compared to low sugar diets.
81 High refined sugar diet reduces learning capacity.
82. Sugar can cause less effective functioning of two blood proteins, albumin, and lipoproteins, which may reduce the body’s ability to handle fat and cholesterol.
83. Sugar can contribute to Alzheimer’s disease.
84. Sugar can cause platelet adhesiveness.
85. Sugar can cause hormonal imbalance; some hormones become underactive and others become overactive.
86. Sugar can lead to the formation of kidney stones.
87. Sugar can lead to the hypothalamus to become highly sensitive to a large variety of stimuli.
88. Sugar can lead to dizziness.
89. Diets high in sugar can cause free radicals and oxidative stress.
90. High sucrose diets of subjects with peripheral vascular disease significantly increases platelet adhesion.
91. High sugar diet can lead to biliary tract cancer.
92. Sugar feeds cancer.
93. High sugar consumption of pregnant adolescents is associated with a twofold increased risk for delivering a small-for-gestational-age (SGA) infant.
94. High sugar consumption can lead to substantial decrease in gestation duration among adolescents.
95. Sugar slows food's travel time through the gastrointestinal tract.
96. Sugar increases the concentration of bile acids in stools and bacterial enzymes in the colon. This can modify bile to produce cancer-causing compounds and colon cancer.
97. Sugar increases estradiol (the most potent form of naturally occurring estrogen) in men.
98. Sugar combines and destroys phosphatase, an enzyme, which makes the process of digestion more difficult.
99. Sugar can be a risk factor of gallbladder cancer.
100. Sugar is an addictive substance.
101. Sugar can be intoxicating, similar to alcohol.
102. Sugar can exacerbate PMS.
103. Sugar given to premature babies can affect the amount of carbon dioxide they produce.
104. Decrease in sugar intake can increase emotional stability.
105. The body changes sugar into 2 to 5 times more fat in the bloodstream than it does starch.
106. The rapid absorption of sugar promotes excessive food intake in obese subjects.
107. Sugar can worsen the symptoms of children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
108. Sugar adversely affects urinary electrolyte composition.
109. Sugar can slow down the ability of the adrenal glands to function.
110. Sugar has the potential of inducing abnormal metabolic processes in a normal healthy individual and to promote chronic degenerative diseases.
111.. I.Vs (intravenous feedings) of sugar water can cut off oxygen to the brain.
112. High sucrose intake could be an important risk factor in lung cancer.
113. Sugar increases the risk of polio.
114. High sugar intake can cause epileptic seizures.
115. Sugar causes high blood pressure in obese people.
116. In Intensive Care Units, limiting sugar saves lives.
117. Sugar may induce cell death.
118. Sugar can increase the amount of food that you eat.
119. In juvenile rehabilitation camps, when children were put on a low sugar diet, there was a 44% drop in antisocial behavior.
120. Sugar can lead to prostrate cancer.
121. Sugar dehydrates newborns.
122. Sugar increases the estradiol in young men.
123. Sugar can cause low birth weight babies.
124. Greater consumption of refined sugar is associated with a worse outcome of schizophrenia
125. Sugar can raise homocysteine levels in the blood stream.
126. Sweet food items increase the risk of breast cancer.
127. Sugar is a risk factor in cancer of the small intestine.
128. Sugar may cause laryngeal cancer.
129. Sugar induces salt and water retention.
130. Sugar may contribute to mild memory loss.
131. As sugar increases in the diet of 10 years olds, there is a linear decrease in the intake of many essential nutrients.
132. Sugar can increase the total amount of food consumed.
133. Exposing a newborn to sugar results in a heightened preference for sucrose relative to water at 6 months and 2 years of age.
134. Sugar causes constipation.
135. Sugar causes varicous veins.
136. Sugar can cause brain decay in prediabetic and diabetic women.
137. Sugar can increase the risk of stomach cancer.
138. Sugar can cause metabolic syndrome.
139. Sugar ingestion by pregnant women increases neural tube defects in embryos.
140. Sugar can be a factor in asthma.
141. The higher the sugar consumption the more chances of getting irritable bowel syndrome.
142. Sugar could affect central reward systems.
143. Sugar can cause cancer of the rectum.
144. Sugar can cause endometrial cancer.
145. Sugar can cause renal (kidney) cell carcinoma.
146. Sugar can cause liver tumors.
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