關於 many, much few little exercise ，我們在網路上蒐集到這些相關的討論、資訊與評價

【德多少，就得多少】
YOUR VIRTUES DETERMINE HOW MUCH YOU GET

最近家附近有建築工地，噪音多了。

客人聽我的聲音不會有問題，因為我的耳機有麥克風，但如果他們不戴有麥克風的耳機，我聽他們的聲音會比較辛苦。

幾天前，為一位年輕的保險經紀通過Zoom批八字。

他進入Zoom會議室後，呆看著我。

我微笑看著他，故意不出聲，觀察著他。

幾秒後，他才粗魯的說：「哈囉？!」

奇怪了，貴為一個保險經紀，見人應該無數，打招呼的方式，怎能這麼粗俗？我阿姨阿伯級的客人，雖不常用Zoom，都比他懂禮貌。

我馬上回：「X先生，您好。您進來會議室，怎麼打招呼這麼粗俗？」

「我一向來都是這樣先哈囉，有聲音我才正式打招呼。」

「我倒是從來不會這樣。」

其實，這是個人修養的問題。

「你沒有讀我發給你的貼文嗎？為何你視訊沒有戴耳機？」

「我一向來Zoom都是這樣，沒有戴耳機。我以為你只是建議而已，不一定要戴。」

「我在貼文裡寫關於戴耳機的理由，你覺得不成立嗎？」

他想了幾秒，回：「是成立的。」

「我們都是提供服務的人。客人找我們，需要三大元素。第一個，就是同理心。你沒有同理心，難怪你說你的客人寧願聽別人說，也不信你說。」

「如果你要我戴，我現在就戴。」

他講完後，依然坐在那裡看著我，一動也不動。

後來，我說了幾句，他肯戴上耳機後，藍牙耳機也並沒操作好。

等了我一個月，這麼簡單的事情都不願事先做好。

看著他理直氣壯的模樣，頓時覺得他很可憐。

貴人坐在他面前，他說的一大堆話，都是以「自我」為出發點，完全不懂得「以和為貴」的道理。這不就是親手把貴人轟出門嗎？

「你這樣講話，就算講贏了，你真的贏了嗎？」

換成我是他的客人，我絕不會向他買保險，因為很明顯這不是一位真心為別人著想的保險經紀人。

那天，雖為他看八字，該說的我都有說，但我依然保留許多。

因為他缺德。

許多人把「德」看得很輕，覺得沒做壞事就是好人。事實上，不按照別人合理的要求做事，蓄意破壞規則，只顧自己，也是沒有德行可言。

有些人會吐槽，哎呀你學佛的人，要慈悲，何必跟他計較？不要著相！

我不是在意氣用事。

沒有智慧的慈悲，會害死人的。

祖師有訓 - 看命本來就是依客人的福德多寡，而賜福。品行不端的人，承受不起更多的福報，反而會遭反噬。再說了，對貴人都不好的人，對沒有利用價值的人就會更善良嗎？

不是捐錢的，就一定是好人，什麼事情都是要用心才算。

每個人都想要與眾不同，可是如果你的所作所為和一般人一樣，沒有比他們做得更好，那你的命格只配拿得起一般的命運。

不要迷信，以為什麼都是人家為難你，就跑去求神拜佛要打小人。我們命運裡的每一個障礙，每一粒石頭，都是自己放進去的。

你不改，障礙物就不會移。

在這裡聲明：沒有麥克風耳機的Zoom客人，我一概會取消諮詢，進行退款，沒得商量，沒得瞎掰。

能突然放假，真是太過癮了！

——————————————————

Recently, a construction site sprouted up beside my place, creating a lot of noise every day.

Zoom clients wouldn’t have a problem hearing me, but if they do not have a earpiece with a mic, I would have a problem hearing them.

Few days ago, I did a Bazi analysis for a young Insurance Agent via Zoom.

After he entered my Zoom meeting room, he looked at me blankly.

I smiled at him, deliberately staying quiet, and observed him.

Few seconds later, he said bluntly, “Hello?!”

How strange that an insurance agent, who probably have met tons of people, would greet in such an abrupt manner. My middle-aged clients, who rarely use Zoom, have better etiquette than him.

I replied instantly, “Hi, Mr X. Why is your greeting so crude, upon entering this meeting room?”

“I always say hello like this and wait to hear a reply, before I greet officially.”

“I never do that.”

Actually, this demonstrates the refinement of a person.

“Did you not read the post I sent you? Why are you not wearing a earpiece?”

“All along, I do Zooms in this manner without a earpiece. I thought it’s just a suggestion from you and it was not mandatory.”

“I wrote about the reason for clients to wear a earpiece. Do you find it invalid?”

He pondered for a few seconds and replied, “It’s valid.”

“We are both service providers. Clients look for us based on three main qualities. The first being the quality of empathy. You lack empathy and it’s no wonder you say your clients rather listen to others and not trust you as much.”

“If you want me to wear, then I will wear it now”

And he sat there looking at me, not moving an inch.

When he finally put on his ear pods, they did not operate well either.

It’s peculiar how despite a month of waiting for me, he was slow to get this simple thing done right.

Seeing how “self-assured” he was, for a brief moment, I find his behaviour pitiful.

His benefactor was sitting right in front of him, yet his words remained self-serving, totally oblivious to what harmony is about. Wasn’t this sending your benefactor straight out of the door?

“Even if you gain an upper hand talking like this, have you really won?

I would never buy insurance from such an agent, as obviously he was not the considerate kind.

I still read his Bazi that day, said what I should but there were also a lot I did not reveal.

Because he is lacking in virtues.

Many people think lightly of virtues. They assumed that if they do no evil deed, they are virtuous humans. Fact is, if you do not follow the reasonable requirements of other people, deliberately breaking the rules for your own gain, you have no virtue to speak of.

Some naysayers will tell me, but hey you are a practicing Buddhist, so you should exercise your compassion and not be bothered with his behaviour! Don’t get attached to external form!

This isn’t about me.

Compassion without wisdom brings more harm than good.

Since ancient times, it is a rule of thumb that we practitioners allocate good fortune to clients, based on their conduct and luck.

A person with undesirable conduct is unable to bear greater fortune, or there will be adverse consequences. Moreover, if a person is unkind to his benefactor, it is very unlikely that he will be kinder to another person with no value to him.

You can’t define a person as a good man, just because he is willing to donate money. We got to look at how he uses his heart.

Everybody wants to be special and different from others. But if what you are doing is the same as other people, nowhere better than them, then you can only carry a mediocre Destiny.

Don’t be superstitious to think that everybody is out to get you, and you go running to the temples or Feng Shui masters to chase away the villains.

Every obstacle in our destiny, every little stone that trips us, is placed in our lives by no other person but ourselves.

If you do not change, the obstacle isn’t going to budge either.

And here’s an official note: For any Zoom client that does not wear a earpiece with a microphone, I will cancel the consultation and give you a refund.

Having off days out of the blue are so much more fun!

My sister, Michelle-Ann Iking's 3% chance of conceiving naturally was a success! Here's her story:

(My apologies as I've been overwhelmed with personal matters. I've only managed to get to my desk. So finally got around posting this).

This is the story behind my sister's pregnancy struggle and how she shared her journey over her Facebook page.

Because some may have not caught her LIVE session chat with me (https://www.facebook.com/daphneiking/videos/687743128744960/) , or read her lengthy post (as it's a private page);
she's allowed me to copy and paste it over my wall, in case you need to know more about her thought process on how AND why she focused on the 3% success probability. Read on.

-------------------------------------------

Posted 10th May 2020.
FB Credit: Michelle-Ann Iking

A week ago today I celebrated becoming a mother to our second, long awaited child.

Please forgive this mother's LONG (self-indulgent) post, journalling what this significant milestone has meant for her personally, for her own fallible memory's sake as well as maybe to share one day with her son.

If all you were wondering was whether I had delivered and if mum and bub are OK, please be assured the whole KkLM family are thriving tremendously, and continue scrolling right along your Newsfeed 😁.

OUR 3% MIRACLE

All babies are miracles... and none more so than our precious Kiaen Aaryan (pronounced KEY-n AR-yen), whose name derives from Sanskrit origins meaning:

Grace of God
Spiritual
Kind
Benevolent

...words espousing the gratitude Kishore and I feel for Kiaen's arrival as our "3% miracle".

He was conceived, naturally, after 3 years of Kishore and I hoping, praying and 'endeavoring'... and only couples for whom the objective switches from pure recreation to (elusive) procreation will understand how this is less fun than it sounds ...

3 years during which time we had consensus from 3 different doctors that we, particularly I (with my advancing age etc etc) had only a 3% chance of natural conception and that our best hope for a sibling for our firstborn, Lara Anoushka, was via IVF.

Lara herself was an 'intervention baby', being one of the 20% of babies successfully conceived through the less intrusive IUI process, after a year and a half of trying naturally and already being told then my age was a debilitating factor.

We had tried another round of IUI for her sibling in 2017 when Lara was a year old. And that time we fell into the ranks of the 80% of would-be parents for whom it would be an exercise in futility... who would go home, comfort each other as best they could, while individually masking their own personal disappointment... hoping for the best, 'the next time around'...

So the improbability ratio of 97% against natural conception of our second baby, as concurred by the combined opinion of 3 medical professionals, was a very real, very daunting figure for us to have to mentally deal with.

Deep, DEEP, down in my heart however, though I had many a day of doubt... I kept a core kernel of faith that somehow, I would again experience the privilege of pregnancy, and again, have a chance at childbirth.

And so, the optimist in me would tell myself, "Well, there have to be people who fall in the 3% bucket... why shouldn't WE be part of the 3%?"

Those who know me well, understand my belief in the Law of Attraction, the philosophy of focusing your mind only on what you want to attract, not on what you don't want, and so even as Kishore and I prepared to go into significant personal debt to attempt IVF in the 2nd half of 2019, I marshalled a last ditch effort to hone in on that 3% chance of natural conception... through research coming across fertility supplements that I ordered from the US and sent to a friend in Singapore to redirect to me because the supplier would not deliver to Malaysia.

I made us as a couple take the supplements in the 3 month 'priming period' in the lead up to the IVF procedure - preconditioning our bodies for optimum results, if you will.

At the same time, I had invested in a sophisticated fertility monitor, with probes and digital sensors for daily tracking of saliva and other unmentionable fluid samples, designed to pinpoint with chemical accuracy my state of fertility on any given day.

(UPDATE: For those interested - I obtained the supplements and Ovacue Fertility Monitor from https://www.fairhavenhealth.com/. Though I had my supplies delivered to a friend in Singapore, and redirected to me here since the US site does not deliver to Malaysia, there are local distributors for these products, you will just have to research the trustworthiness of the vendors yourself...)

I had set an intention - in the 3 months of pre-IVF priming, I would consume what seemed like a pharmacy's worth of supplements, and track fertility religiously... in hopes that somehow, within the 3 month priming period, we would conceive naturally and potentially save ourselves a down payment on a new property... and this was just a projection on financial costs of IVF, not even considering the physical, emotional and mental toll it involves, with no guarantee of a baby at the end of it all...

It was a continuation of an intention embedded even with my first pregnancy, where all the big ticket baby items were consciously purchased for use by a future sibling, in gender neutral colours, in hopes that sibling would be a brother "for a balanced pair", though of course any healthy child would be a welcome blessing.

It was a very conscious determination to always skew my thoughts in service of what the end objective was. For example, when 3+year old Lara would innocently express impatience at not yet having a sibling, at one point suggesting that since we were "taking too long to give her a baby brother/sister", perhaps we should just "go buy a baby from a shop", instead of getting defensive or berating the baby that she herself was, we enlisted Lara's help to pray for her sibling... so in any place of worship, or sacred ground of any kind that we passed thereon, Lara would stop, close her eyes, bow her small head and place her tiny hands together in prayer, reciting earnestly, "Please God, please give me a baby brother or baby sister."

After months and months of watching Lara do this, in the constancy of her childlike chant, Kishore started feeling the pressure of possibly disappointing Lara if her prayer was not answered. Whereas for me, Lara's recitation of her simple wish became like a strengthening mantra, our collective intention imbued with greater power with each repetition, and the goal of a sibling kept very much in the forefront of our minds (hence our calling Lara our 'project manager' in this endeavour).

And somehow in the 2nd month of that 3 month period, a positive + sign appeared on one of the home pregnancy tests I had grown accustomed to taking - my version of the lottery tickets others keep buying in hopes of hitting the jackpot, with all the cyclical anticipation and more often than not, disappointment, that entails...

This time however I was not disappointed.

With God's Grace, (hence 'Kiaen', a variation of 'Kiaan' which means 'Grace of God'), my focus on our joining the ranks of the 3% had materialised.

It seems poetic then, that Kiaen chose to make his appearance on the 3rd May, ironically the same date that his paternal great-grandfather departed this world for the next... such that in the combined words of Kishore and his father Kai Vello Suppiah,

"The 1st generation Suppiah left on 3rd May and the 4th generation Suppiah arrived on 3rd May after 41yrs...
One leaves, another comes, the legacy lives on..."

***

KIAEN AARYAN SUPPIAH'S BIRTH STORY

On Sunday 3rd May, I was 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant.

The baby was, in my mind, very UN-fashionably late past his due date of 29th April, so as much as I had willed and 'manifested' the privilege of pregnancy, to say I was keen to be done with it all was an understatement.

In the weeks leading to up to my full term, I had experienced increasingly intense Braxton-Hicks 'practice contractions' - annoying for me for the discomfort involved, stressful for Kishore who was on tenterhooks with the false alarms, on constant alert for when we would actually need to leave home for the hospital.

Having become a Hypnobirthing student and advocate from my first pregnancy with Lara, and thus being equipped with
(1) a lack of fear about childbirth in general and
(2) a basic understanding of how all the sensations I would experience fit into the big picture of my body bringing our baby closer to us,
I was less stressed - content to wait for the baby to be "fully cooked" and come out whenever he was ready... though I wouldn't have minded at all if the cooking time ended sooner, rather than later.

With Lara, I had been somewhat 'forced' into an induced labour, even though she was not yet due, and that had resulted in a 5 DAY LABOUR, a Birth Story for another post, so I was not inclined to chemically induce labour, even though I was assured that for second time mothers, it would be 'much faster and easier'...

That morning, I had a hunch *maybe* that day was the day, because in contrast to previous weeks' sensations of tightening, pressure and even spasms that were concentrated in the front of my abdomen and occasionally shot through my sides and legs, I felt period - like cramping in my lower back which I had not felt before throughout the pregnancy.

It was about 8am in the morning then, and my 'surges' were still relatively mild ('surges' being Hypnobirthing - speak for 'contractions', designed to frame them with the more positive connotations needed to counteract common language in which childbirth is presented as something that is unequivocally painful and traumatic, instead of the miraculous, powerful and natural phenomenon it actually is).

I recall (masochistically?) entertaining the thought of opting NOT to have an epidural JUST TO SEE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE...

I figured this would be the last time I would be pregnant and so it would be my 'last chance' to experience 'drug free labour' which, apart from the health benefits for baby and mother, might be *interesting* in a way that people who are curious about what getting a tattoo and skydiving and bungee jumping are like, might find these *interesting*...even knowing there will be pain and risk involved...

Since I have tried tattoos and skydiving (unfortunately not being able to squeeze in bungee-jumping while my life was purely my own to risk at no dependents' possible detriment) a similar curiousity about a no-epidural labour was on my mind...

In the absence of other signs of the onset of labour (like 'bloody show' or my waters breaking), I wanted to wait until the surges were coming every few minutes before we actually left the house for the hospital, not wanting to be one of those couples who rushed in too early and had interminable waits for the next stage in unfamiliar, clinical surroundings and/or were made to go home in an anti-climatic manner.

I was even calm enough through my surges to have the presence of mind to wash and blowdry my hair, knowing if I did deliver soon I would not be allowed this luxury for a while.

Around 9am I asked Kishore to prep for Lara and himself to be dressed and breakfasted so we could head to hospital soon, while I sent messages to family members on both sides informing them 'today might be the day.'

My mother, who had briefly served as a midwife before going back into general nursing and then becoming a nursing tutor, prophetically stated that if what I was experiencing was true labour, "the baby would be out by noon".

The pace in which my surges grew closer together was surprisingly quicker than I expected; and while I asked Lara to "Hurry up with breakfast" with only a tad more urgency than we normally tell her to do, little Missy being prone to dilly-dallying at meals, I probably freaked Kishore out when about 930am onwards, I had to instinctively get on my hands and knees a couple of times, eyes closed, trying to practice the Hypnobirthing breathing techniques I had revised to help along the process of my body birthing our child into the world.

I recall him saying a bit frantically as I knelt at our front door, doubled over as he waited for Lara to complete something or other, "Lara hurry up! Can't you see Mama is in so much pain and you are taking your own sweet time??!!"

SIDETRACK: Just the night before, Lara and I had watched a TV show in which a woman gave birth with the usual histrionics accompanying pop culture depictions of labour.

Lara watched the scene, transfixed.

I told her, simply and matter-of-factly, "That's what Mama has to do to get baby brother out Lara, and that's what I had to do for you also."

In most of interactions with my daughter, I have sought to equip her to face life's situations with calmness, truthful common sense, and ideally a minimum of drama.

Those who know the dramatic diva that Lara can be will know that this is a work-in-progress, but her response to me that night showed me some of my 'teachings' were sinking in:

She looked at me unfazed, "But Mama," she said. "You won't cry and scream like that lady, right? You will be BRAVE and stay calm, right?"
#nopressure.

So as we prepped to leave for the hospital I did indeed attempt to be that role model of calm for her, asking her only for her help in keeping very quiet,
"Because Mama needs to focus on bringing baby brother out and she needs quiet to concentrate...".

As we left the house at 10.11am, I texted Kishore's sister Geetha to please prep to pick up Lara from the hospital, and was grateful Kishore had the foresight to ask our gynae to prepare a letter for Geetha to show any police roadblocks between my in-laws' home in Subang Jaya and the hospital in Bangsar, this all happening under the Movement Control Order (MCO).

To Lara's credit, in the journey over to the hospital, she - probably sensing the gravity of the situation, sat very quietly in her seat at the back, and the silence was punctuated only by my occasional deep intakes of breath and some variation of my Ohmmm-like moans when the sensations were at their height.

By the time we got to Pantai Hospital at around 10.30am, my surges were strong enough I requested a wheelchair to assist me in getting to the labour ward, as I did not trust my own legs to support me... and Kishore would have to wait until Geetha had arrived to take Lara back to my in-laws' house before he himself could go up.

I slumped in the wheelchair and was wheeled up to the labour room with my eyes closed the whole time, trying to handle my surges.

I didn't even look up to see the attendant who pushed me... but did make the effort to thank him sincerely when he handed me over, with what seemed like a palpable sense of relief on his part, to the labour ward nurses.

The nurse attending me at Pantai was calm, steady and efficient. I answered some questions and changed into my labour gown while waiting for Kishore to come up, all the while managing the increasingly intense surges with my rusty Hypnobirthing breathing techniques.

By the time Kishore joined me at around 11am (I know these timings based on the timestamps of the 'WhatsApp live feed' of messages Kishore sent to his family), I was asking the nurse on duty, "How soon can I get an epidural??" thinking what crazy woman thought she could do this without drugs???!!!

The nurse checked my cervix dilation, I saw her bloodied glove indicating my mucous plug had dislodged, and she told me, "Well you are already at 7cm (which, for the uninitiated, is 70% of the way to the 10cm dilation needed for birthing), you are really doing well, if you made it this far without any drugs, if can you try and manage without it... I suspect within 2 hours or less you will deliver your baby and since it will take about that time for the anaesthesiologist to be called, epidural to be administered and kick in... it might all be for nothing... but of course the decision is completely up to you... "

So there I was, super torn, should I risk the sensations becoming worse... or risk the epidural becoming a waste?? And of course I was trying to decide this as my labour surges were coming at me stronger and stronger...

I was in such a dilemma...because as a 'recovering approval junkie' there was also a silly element of approval-seeking involved, ("The nurse thinks I can do this without drugs... maybe I CAN do this without drugs... Yay me!") mixed with that element of curiosity I mentioned earlier ("What if I actually CAN do this without drugs... plenty of other women have done it all over the world since time immemorial.. no big deal, how bad can it be...??") so then I thought I would use the financial aspect to be the 'tiebreaker' in my decision making...

I asked the nurse how much an epidural would cost and when she replied "Around MYR1.5k", I still remember Kishore's incredulous face as I asked the question, i.e."Seriously babe, you are gonna think about money right now? If you need the epidural TAKE IT, don't worry about the money!!!"... and while we are not rich by any stretch of the imagination, thankfully RM1.5k is not a quantum that made me swing towards a decision to "better save the money"...

So in the end, I guess my curiosity won out, and I turned down the epidural "just to see what it would be like and if I had it in me" (in addition of course to avoiding the side effects of any drugs introduced into my and the baby's body).

My labour occuring in the time of coronavirus, it was protocol for me to have a COVID19 test done, so the medical staff could apply the necessary precautions. I had heard from a friend Sharon Ruba that the test procedure was uncomfortable, so when the nurse came with the test kit as I was starting another surge, I asked, "Please can I just finish this surge before I do the test?" as I really didn't think I could multitask tackling multiple uncomfortable sensations in one go.

The COVID19 test involved what felt like a looong, skinny cotton bud being inserted into one nostril... I definitely felt more than a tickle as it went in and up, being told to take deep breaths by the nurse. Then she asked me to "Try to swallow" and I felt it go into my nasal cavities where I didn't think anything could go any further, but was proven wrong when she asked me to swallow again and the swab was probed even deeper. Then she warned me there would be some slight discomfort as she prepared to collect a sample... but at that point all I could think about was:

(i) I really don't have much of a choice
(ii) please let this be over before my next surge kicks in
(iii) if all the people breaking the MCO rules knew what it feels like to do this test maybe they won't put themselves at risk of the need to perform one...

In full disclosure as I was transferred into the actual delivery room at some point after 11am, another nurse offered me 'laughing gas' to ostensibly take some of the edge off... I took the self-operated breathing nozzle passed to me but don't recall it making any difference to my sensations..so didn't use it much as it seemed pretty pointless.

I recall some measure of relief when I heard my gynae Dr. Paul entering the room, greeting Kishore and me, and telling us it was going well and it wouldn't be long now and he would see us again shortly.

From my previous labour with Lara I knew the midwives pretty much take you 90% of the way through the labour and when the Dr is called in you are really at the home stretch, so was very relieved to hear his voice though knowing he would leave and come back later meant it wasn't quite over yet.

I do remember realising when I had crossed the Thinning and Opening Phase of labour to the Birthing Phase, by the change in sensations... it is still amazing to me that as the Hypnobirthing book mentioned, having this knowledge I was instinctively able to switch breathing techniques for the next stage of labour .

Was my opting against epidural the right choice for me?

Overall? Yes.

Don't get me wrong.

I *almost* regretted the decision several times during active labour... especially when I felt my body being taken over by an overwhelming compulsion to push that did not seem conscious and was accompanied by involuntary gutteral moans where I literally just thought to myself, "I surrender, God do with me what you will..." (super dramatic I know but VERY real at the time...).

I think I experienced 3-4 such natural explusive reflexes (?), rhythmically pushing the baby down the birth path, one of which was accompanied by what felt like a swoosh of water coming out of a hose with a diameter the size of a golf ball... this was when I realised my water had finally broken...

The nurses kept instructing me to do different things, to keep breathing, to move to my side, then to move to the middle, to raise my feet... and when I didn't comply, Kishore (who was with me throughout both my labours) tried to help them by repeating the instructions prefaced with "Sayang..." but I basically ignored all the intructions because I felt I had no capacity to direct any part of my body to do anything and someone else would have to physically manoeuvre that body part themselves.

When I heard Dr. Paul's voice again and the flurry of commotion surrounding his presence, I knew the time was close... and when I heard the nurse say to Kishore, "Sir, these are your gloves, for when you cut the baby's cord", it was music to my ears...

I'm very, VERY grateful Kiaen slid out after maybe the 4th of those involuntary pushes... the wave of RELIEF when he came out so quickly... it still boggles my mind that my mother was essentially right and as his birth time was 12.02pm, it was *only* about 1.5 hours between our arrival at the hospital and his arrival into the world.

Kiaen was placed on my chest for skin to skin bonding and remained there for a considerable time.

For our short stay in the hospital he would be with us in my maternity ward number C327... another trivially serendipitous sign for me because he was born on the 3rd (May) and our wedding anniversary is 27th (July).

I was discharged the following day 4th May at about 5.30pm, after I got an all clear on COVID19 and a paediatric surgeon did a small procedure on Kiaen to address a tongue-tie that would affect his breastfeeding latch... making the entire duration of our stay about 31 hours.

I have taken the time and effort to record all this down so that whenever life's challenges threaten to get me down I can remind myself, "Ignore the 97% failure probability, focus on the 3% success probability".

Also that the human condition is miraculous and it is such a privilege to experience it.

To our son Kiaen Aaryan, thank you for coming into our lives and choosing us as your parents.

Even though Papa and I are both zombies trying to settle into a night time feeding routine with you, I look forward to spending not only all future Mother's Days, but every day, with you and your Akka...

And last but not least, to my husband Kishore...without whom none of this would be possible - we did it sayang, I love you ❤️

Photo credit: Stayhome session with Samantha Yong Photography (http://samanthayong.com/)

April 2020 was a special month that all of us would never forget.

It was the beginning of the circuit breaker where we subsequently had to stay at home, eat at home, study at home, work from home, exercise at home, play at home, do everything at home, and basically face each other at home 24/7. Yup, while it all sounded scary and intimidating at the start, I think many of us slowly but surely got used to the notion and perhaps a few of us even felt thankful to have this opportunity to bond with the kids and understand them a little better.

For me, since I have been with the kids at home all along and staying sane throughout the day has always been a challenge, the dreaded part was more of trying to manage all the different HBL schedules and not feeling torn apart by their constant needs, be it to solve a problem sum, handle a technical glitch, join a Zoom meeting or teach them to read a Chinese word for the thousandth time. There was one thing I was super thankful for and that was having the hubby home much more than usual and the kids were so, so happy to be able to spend more time with Papa.

To even be able to stay home as a family and be able to do what we do, that is a huge blessing in itself, isn't it? It's amazing how our mindsets as parents affect the way our kids think and behave, right? I realised that in order for us to make the most of this stay-home period, the key difference laid in having an optimistic outlook and cheerful attitude - and it all had to begin with me. So even though I was physically exhausted and mentally drained on some days (aren't we all?), I did try to start each day with a happy, hopeful heart in the hope that it would 传达正能量 and the kids would feel it too. Only then, would we be able to find the silver lining and make the best out of what we had.

Now that the circuit breaker is ending soon, hearing how the kids would say "Staying home is fun!", "I wish I could stay home more", "I'm not very excited to go back to school", "There are so many things we can do when we are together" makes me feel relieved that, like me, they did cherish and enjoy this rare experience. In this post of "Happiness is...", it's about staying home and staying positive.