【天青色等煙雨,而我在等你】(English writing below)
我看著客人眼淚
滴滴答答的打在桌面上
筆記本
濕了
本子上的字
糊了
她的心酸
猶如洪泉遇到崩裂的堤壩
一波一浪的破牆而出
一個被愛情辜負的女子
看了真是心疼
我不由自覺的
想到了自己
你懂我的
像我這樣剛烈的女子
爲了愛情
我絕不退縮
祇是一個勇字
又豈能成事呢
童年
過得心驚膽顫
家裡常吵得
雞犬不寧
爸爸沒想要
把我生下
媽媽常說
要把我趕出去
我很努力讀書
我很努力做個乖孩子
我覺得我做得很好
人小小本事很大
但這些終究無法
讓我在美滿的家庭長大
多少個夜晚裡
我被媽媽打得
想奪門而出
永不再見
可是想到誰來照顧她
我又忍下來
我很恨
為何我命運不如人
第一次談戀愛時
我是多麼多麼的雀躍
內心裡的煙花
不斷地爆開
我終於等到了
不再是
沒人要的孩子了
我終於
值得有人愛了
初戀的絢麗
卻也如七彩美麗的煙花
一聲巨響後
就消失在漆黑的夜裡
他常常在我面前
提到他如何深愛著
他中學時的校花
她是如此的美好
有一次
這校花來我們的學校
他得知後
破課室的門而出
沒見到她
他哭了一整個星期
心中的不安
讓我常常與他吵架
三年零八個月裡
我不是一個好女友
服滿兵役後
他喜歡上大學迎新會
的一位混血兒
後來
我和一位校友打了幾次桌球
某夜
他在ICQ向我索吻
對他的印象
就一落千丈了
(你以為老娘在賤賣嗎?)
不久一位朋友告訴我
他約會的對象
不只我一個
我有一位
很好很好的朋友
我在新加坡時
他常陪我
深夜打桌球到清晨
聊佛法聊人生
一起上佛學班
一起學國標舞
從未有一個人
如此瞭解我的心
如此照顧著我
但無所不談的當兒
他也不斷告訴
這麼多年來
他如何愛念著
一個女孩
對她始終無法忘懷
我又輸給
活在記憶中的人了
我這一份單戀
長達兩年
很磨人很磨人很磨人
差一點走不出來
第二次談戀愛
他常在我面前提起
一個他追了半年追不到的女孩
他說
有一天一定要去問她
為什麼不選擇他
在家裡的毒打
並沒有隨著我成人
而停止
後來拜師學藝
卻因爲品德不良
被師父一句
「你不是我要找的人。」
斷然吃了閉門羹
那天我哭得痛徹心扉
覺得自己
好像是
個沒人要的孩子
方文山因爲
八百年前
宋徽宗皇帝御批的這句
「雨過天青雲破處」
而在周傑倫《青花瓷》裡
寫了『天青色等煙雨,而我在等你』
他說
愛情里最無力的無奈
就是「等待」
天青色得等待
不知何時會降的雨
雨停
積雲散去
朗朗晴空中
天青色才能顯現
如同我
只能被动而安静的
等待着
不知何时才会出现的妳。
慢慢的
我開始認為
我這輩子等不到了
月老應該沒幫我
綁上紅線
學佛多年後
忽然恍然大悟
一個道理
没有东西是必须拥有的
沒有它
也不代表自己的不足
愛情
是一個填不滿的慾望
所以愛情劇長紅
在2015年2月21日年初三,根本上師蓮生活佛在台灣中天綜合電視台的訪談中說:https://youtu.be/EPDxwSt6a5I (時間12:08)
「師尊本身的愛是這樣的。我既然愛她,就是要她幸福,不是要佔有她,這種愛不是佔有,其實愛不是佔有。如果愛是佔有的話,那就是屬於慾望。如果愛不是佔有,我是祝福她,雖然我愛她,她不愛我,她愛別人,我就祝福她。如果愛別人會比較幸福,我就祝福她。這種愛就不是佔有的愛。如果是佔有的愛,一定會產生痛苦。」
原來我真正在等的
是自己
自己的智慧開了
心變闊達時
才不會讓他人決定
自己幾時可以幸福
可以幸福多久
命運在我手中
怎麼走本來就是我說了算
我輕輕的拿起桌上的紙巾,遞給女客人。她一把鼻涕,一把眼淚的向我道謝。
借了師父慣用的笑話,我柔聲細語的說:「別哭,新加坡缺水,要哭要到蓄水池哭,這樣我們可以少看馬來西亞的臉色做人。」
她破涕而笑。
我再說:「我看了妳的八字,現在又看到妳真人,勸你跟我講話老實一點,要不然我幫不到妳。妳明明一直做人家的小三,還敢跟我哭沒有男人要和妳結婚?妳不也偷偷拿了他不少錢嗎?我看妳明明就是一張愛錢的臉。」
奉勸各位大俠,在我面前,若要用眼淚爲武器,請三思,因爲虛偽的,我必定拆你面具。
..........................
I looked at the teardrops of my client, pitter patter onto the table top. My client's notebook got wet. The words got muddled.
All the pains in her heart were like the angry river crushing through a broken dam, tearing down the walls as the tears flowed.
To see a lady being let down by love was indeed heart-breaking.
I couldn't help but thought of myself.
You know me. An unyielding character like mine will not shrink like a coward in the name of love. Alas, there are things in life that can't be accomplished solely with courage.
My childhood was filled with a lot of fear. There were often quarrels at home.
My dad didn't want me to be born. My mum often said she wanted to chase me out of the house.
I studied very hard. I did my utmost to be an obedient kid, and I thought I did very well as young child but I was already very capable. However, all these were not enough for me to grow up in a complete family.
So many nights, I got beaten up so badly by my mum that I wanted to just break out of the door and never to see her again. But the mere thought of nobody looking after her pulled me back.
I hated so much. Why wasn't my destiny comparable to other people?
When I first fell in love, I was so elated. The fireworks in my heart exploded non-stop. I finally found someone. I was no longer that child which nobody wanted. I was finally worthy of someone's love.
The splendour of first love, however, was as temporal as the rainbow-coloured fireworks. After a loud explosion, it vanished into the darkness of night.
He would often tell me in my face, how much he pined for and loved his secondary school crush, apparently the prettiest and most perfect girl in school.
Once, this campus belle came to our school. When he got wind of the news, he dashed out of the classroom. Failing to see her, he cried for one whole week.
My insecurity caused me to quarrel with him often. In those 3 years and 8 months, I wasn't a great girlfriend. After his NS, he got together with a girl of mixed blood at his university's Orientation camp.
I played pool with a uni mate a few times. One night over ICQ, he teased me for a kiss. My impression of him dropped like hot cakes. Did I look like I was lelong-ing myself? Later, a girl pal told me that he was dating several girls at the same time.
I had a very good friend. Whenever I was in Singapore, he would accompany me to play pool till wee hours. We talked about Dharma, life, and we attended Buddhism and ballroom dancing classes together. I had never met a person who understood me and took care of me so well.
But among our endless conversations of everything and anything, he always told me how he still loved a girl from his school. He couldn't forget her.
Again, I lost to someone who lived in the memory of the guy I liked.
This one-sided love of mine burned for two years. It was very, very, very excruciating. I almost didn't make it out alive.
In my second relationship, the boyfriend would always tell me about a pretty girl whom he pursued for half a year, but failed to win her heart. He told me firmly that if he had the chance, he wanted to ask her why she did not choose him.
The abusive beating at home did not stop even after I grew up.
Later on, when I wanted to become Shifu's disciple, he turned me down flat because he didn't think I had good morals and values. He was blunt, "You are not the person I am looking for."
That night, I cried painfully hard. Suddenly, I felt like I was the kid from my childhood whom nobody wanted.
800 years ago, Emperor Huizong of Song Dynasty wrote in an imperial decree "雨過天青雲破處". It was this that inspired Vincent Fang (方文山) to write the lyrics 『天青色等煙雨,而我在等你』in Jay Chou's song 青花瓷 (Blue and white porcelain).
Vincent Fang said, the most powerless kind of helplessness in love was waiting.
The sky green colour had to wait for the rain, which it had no idea when it would arrive. After the rain stopped, the thick clouds dissipated, in the clear skies, the sky green colour would then be able to appear. This was just like how he could only passively and quietly wait, for his lady whom he had no idea when she would appear.
Gradually, I started thinking that in this lifetime, I would not be able to wait for that person to appear. Perhaps Yue Lao (the elderly celestial under the moon) did not tie the red string on me.
After many years of learning the Dharma, one day, I suddenly came to the realisation that nothing is a must to own.
Secular love is a black hole of desires. That is why romantic shows are evergreen.
On 21 February 2015, the 3rd day of the Lunar New Year, my Root Guru Living Buddha Lian-Sheng spoke in an interview with the Taiwan CTI Television Inc.: https://youtu.be/EPDxwSt6a5I (timestamp 12:08)
"My personal take on love is this. Since I love her, I will want her to be blissful, and not to possess her. Such love isn't possession. Actually love isn't possession. If love is possession, that belongs to desire. If love isn't desire, I will wish her well. Although I love her, she doesn't love me, but loves another person, so I will give her my best wishes. If loving another person brings her more happiness, I will wish her well. Such love isn't possessive love. If it is possessive love, there will surely be pain."
Then I realised, the one that I had been waiting all along for is myself. Waiting for my wisdom to develop, waiting for my heart to be more open, so that I would not place my happiness in the hands of another person, and let the person decide for me when I should be happy, for how long I can stay happy...
My destiny is in my hands. How it pans out is up to me to say.
I gently picked up a serviette from the table and passed it to my lady client. In a mush of mucus and tears, she thanked me.
Borrowing an old joke from Shifu, I gently told her, "Don't cry. Singapore lacks water. If you want to cry, you should cry at a nearby reservoir. This way, we don't have to see the colours of Malaysia in order to get more water."
She broke into a smile among her tears.
I continued, "After looking at your Bazi, and now that I have seen you in person, I advise you to be more honest with me, or else I will not be able to help you. You have all along been a mistress to other men, and you dare to come crying to me that no man wanted to marry you? Didn't you also stole some money from them? The way I see you, you obviously have a money grubber face."
My advice to all swordsmen: If you wish to use your tears as a weapon in front of me, think thrice. Because if you are a hypocrite, I will definitely rip your mask apart.
同時也有1部Youtube影片,追蹤數超過3萬的網紅SG釣魚新手頻道,也在其Youtube影片中提到,Uni-knot(單結)是一種十分實用的繩結,它的好處有︰ 1. 繩結強度非常高。 2. 簡單實用,不需5分鐘就能學會。 3. 能應用在綁擰圈(8字環),快扣,魚鉤等任何配件,甚至新買捲線器第一次上魚絲時也可以用這種單結。 4. 用它變化出來的電車結,用於連接不同魚絲或者是瀨腳,十分有用。 希望...
八字 結 綁法 在 貝莉 Facebook 的最佳貼文
在飽受躁鬱症困擾那幾年,我嘗試了很多方法讓自己健康。固定看醫生、從飲食下手,去過教堂,唸過佛經,也上過幾堂身心靈、神秘學的課。
簡易而言,就是用開放式的態度,去尋求心靈的平靜。而在出版社的工作,也讓我認識多位專業的身心靈老師。
不過身心靈這樣的東西太玄,葛妮絲派特洛弄個goop就被人罵翻天。
所以我不太在公開場合討論這件事,我覺得這是私事,我喜歡的事情,不需要大聲宣揚,我去上課時,也是不說話的那個人。
就是靜靜地在我的角落靜心、冥想,與自己對話,當然,偶爾會跟我信賴的老師討論事情。
這幾年身心靈有另一種變革,開始有一群人會把心靈成長跟發大財綁在一起。把心靈成長就會讓你一世好運畫上連結。
也不是不可以,只是我聽的時候就會有點出神,不是我喜歡的類型吧!而在這種時候我會安靜,甚至不讓對方知道我有接觸這類事情,因為就是明確的風格不同。
活到這年紀,覺得好壞就是跟生命成長週期一樣,萬物都有生老病死、季節變化,月圓月缺。人生本來就是由高低潮組成。
學習身心靈,是要讓自己在逆勢時順心,順勢時自在。去理解能量跟世界的運作,好好共處。身心靈,從來就不是什麼發達的產業,至少,在我看來是這樣。
再者,身心靈就我的認知是很龐雜的,人類圖、儀式、魔法,水晶、馬雅曆、薩滿、光課甚至動物溝通,那些東西不管你信或不信,坦白說就跟哈利波特書裡描述的一樣,每個人都有自己擅長的地方,而我也認識了一些朋友,他們很認真在他的世界裡專研這些。
就像講星座命盤的老師,就算略懂,也不會上台討論八字吧!
後來想想,這是我的老派罷了,也沒對錯可言,我活在一個認知術業有專攻的年代,我覺得分工跟每個人都有自己擅長的事情是重要也是迷人的。
不過或許這已經不合時宜,統包跟人生一路綠燈到底,順遂發達,才是而今的主流之道。
但我是沒有要改的啦(中年叛逆)。
八字 結 綁法 在 Facebook 的最佳解答
#2021運勢# 搶先看!牛本命年相破【#生肖龍# 】磨難考驗之年
2021年即將到來,老師已經開始陸續發布十二生肖辛丑牛年運勢吉凶提醒了。會從2021本命年、太歲生肖"牛、羊、狗、龍、馬"依序發布,請本命年的生肖寶寶提前先做好準備,11/7「立冬交年運」起,來年的運勢就會陸續進來影響你我的生活。其他生肖也不要心急,艾菲爾老師會陸續發布喔。那麼現在就先跟老師來看看2021年度生肖運勢吉凶。
2021生肖龍【破太歲】整體運勢
生肖龍的地支“辰” 與生肖牛地支“醜”相破,在2021肖龍者會遇上非常大的挑戰,不管是生活上、工作事業上、感情婚姻、亦或是自己的定力,都是一場嚴苛的挑戰。 2021年中要格外小心職場上被小人暗算,原本看似到手的合約,最後被破了局;感情婚姻也容易遭到第三者插足、破壞。 “破”這個字,影響可大可小,端看你怎麼去防範。
2021生肖龍【事業運勢】吉凶
在2021年的事業發展可以說是綁手綁腳,你知道自己有能耐能為公司打天下,但是卻處處受到打壓排擠,小人在暗處不斷言語攻擊、惡意中傷你、處處抹黑你,讓你的工作無法順利進行,就連原本屬於你負責的案子,到最後還無預警的被要求轉手他人負責,任人端走整杯羹。有計劃在2021年轉職的肖龍者千萬不要傻傻的裸辭,一定要找好退路再提出辭呈,不然你可能要花好長一段時間才能找到合適的新工作。
2021生肖龍【財運運勢】吉凶
2021年你會有大筆開銷都花費在家人身上,可能是爸媽想買房、弟弟想買車、妹妹要結婚…等等,舉凡家中大小事,家人都會第一個開口找你要錢。你平時雖然有投資理財的習慣,但是突然需要一大筆錢,你也一時拿不出,但是你也不好意思開口拒絕家人,就算是跟銀行借貸,也要給他們錢花用。想當然還債的責任就落在你頭頂上了,這巨大的壓力會將你壓得喘不過氣,甚至陷入借貸風波中。千萬不要因為家人的情緒勒索,讓自己無法翻身。
2021生肖龍【愛情運勢】吉凶
2021在感情方面,有吉星助力,異性緣是大大的增加,感情貴人是比你年長的女性,如果有女性長輩主動邀約你,千萬不能拒絕,盛裝出席就對了,脫單指數百分百。提醒身邊已經有另一半的肖龍者,你很有可能會遇到桃色陷阱,就算你不主動,對方如果設局讓你跳,你也是龍困淺灘,所以一定要把持住自己的心,就算外面的誘惑再多,也不能動搖絲毫。放假日多陪陪另一半,一起做彼此有興趣的事,為兩人的感情升溫。
2021生肖龍【健康運勢】吉凶
2021的健康方面倒是沒特別大的問題,可能有一些腸胃不適的症狀,平常吃飯定時定量、細嚼慢嚥,就不會有太大的問題。特別需要注意的是屬龍的年長者,如果身體有小病痛,一定要及早就醫,老年人不像年輕人,免疫系統比較弱,所以一有任何症狀一定不能拖延。特別提醒屬龍男性,開車時要特別注意交通安全,不要貪圖方便而違反交通規則,更不可酒後駕車。
2021【牛本命年】受影響生肖提醒
2021年受牛的本命年影響的生肖有“牛、羊、狗、龍、馬”,可多行善布施為自己積福田,行事要低調些,以避免不必要的災難,也可佩戴適合自己的水晶,或按照八字生肖喜用佩帶三合貴人生肖手鍊,替自己轉好運!
八字 結 綁法 在 SG釣魚新手頻道 Youtube 的最佳解答
Uni-knot(單結)是一種十分實用的繩結,它的好處有︰
1. 繩結強度非常高。
2. 簡單實用,不需5分鐘就能學會。
3. 能應用在綁擰圈(8字環),快扣,魚鉤等任何配件,甚至新買捲線器第一次上魚絲時也可以用這種單結。
4. 用它變化出來的電車結,用於連接不同魚絲或者是瀨腳,十分有用。
希望對大家有幫助。