週五早安！是不是總覺得，自己在父母眼裡永遠不夠好？
來看看以下情況，是否似曾相識
Healing the Whole Family
治癒一個家庭，從治癒父母的焦慮和創傷開始
#今天來讀紐約時報
😟I cannot remember a time when my home was worry-free. I learned early that a moment without worry was a moment wasted in idleness. Research shows that depression and anxiety can be passed from parent to child when children observe their parents’ incessant worries and adopt similar thought patterns for themselves.
在我印象中，家裡從來沒有無憂無慮的時刻。我很早就懂得，無憂無慮就等於虛度光陰。研究表明，孩子會觀察到父母在不停地憂慮，並且自行採取類似的思維模式，這樣抑鬱和焦慮就從父母傳遞給了孩子。
🌃The night I submitted my college applications, I lay in bed and stared out my window for hours. I prayed to the moon that I would die soon. On paper, I looked perfect (at least to the adults who told me so): a perfect SAT score in one try, three perfect SAT II subject tests, 10 perfect AP tests, recipient of national awards, president of various clubs, avid volunteer, and founder of an education nonprofit. But I would rather have died than learn that “perfect” was still not enough to get into the colleges I’d set my sights on.
遞交大學申請那天晚上，我躺在床上，盯著窗外看了好幾個小時。我向月亮祈禱，希望自己趕快死掉。從紙面上看，我似乎很完美（至少大人們是這麼說的）：第一次參加SAT就拿了滿分，三次SAT II科目考試滿分，10次AP考試滿分，國家獎項獲得者，各種俱樂部主席，熱心的志工，以及一個非營利教育機構的創始人。但如果「完美」也不足以令我進入心儀的大學，我寧可死了算了。
😢I didn’t know there were illnesses called depression and anxiety, and the adults around me never suspected, because I looked like I was on top of my life. When I would burst into tears, my father would shout at me to stop crying because, “No one is dead — save your tears for when I die.” And when I told my mom of my suicidal thoughts her first response was, “How can you be so selfish?” I felt unworthy of their love until I was perfect beyond reproach.
當時我不知道抑鬱和焦慮也是疾病，身邊的大人也從未懷疑，因為我看似正值人生巔峰。如果我突然大哭，父親就會大吼著讓我別哭，因為「沒有人死，等我死了你再哭。」我告訴媽媽我有自殺的想法，她的第一反應是，「你怎麼這麼自私？」我覺得自己不值得他們愛，除非我完美到無可挑剔的程度。
該如何治癒家庭創傷呢？
加入每日國際選讀，用學習療癒過往&開創未來
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#找懂的人訴說
