I have a confession.
I can't put my baby down for naps. I nv could from the day she was born.
When Layla was just born, she had so much trouble napping. She'd only nap for 5mins a day, sometimes none at all. During my confinement period, it was my CN who'd put her down for nap. I took the time to rest while she napped. After she left, my helper took over. Over time, Layla got use to it and would only associate her to naps. My helper became her sleep prop. When she was younger, we would sometimes nap together with her latching on me. But now, she doesnt even want to do that anymore. She's ok with me at night, but nv in the day. When my helper goes on leave, She'd be sooo tired but refuse to sleep. The only way is to put her in a carrier and walk ard until she's asleep.
Frankly, im really bummed about it. My insecurities surfaced. I feel like I'm not good enough. I question my ability as a mother.
What mother can't put their baby to sleep?
I kept telling Deon that i wanna retrain her, so that she associates me to nap. But that also means i have to put her through distress when she's already found a sweet routine. He also said that eventually when she starts school, she will need to learn to sleep on her own. But, can i wait tt long when i feel so stressed wherever my helper goes on leave?
I question myself... do i want to retrain her for my ego or for real practical reason. I don't have the answer.
I know it's so silly to condemn myself for this one thing when i do so well in almost everything else.
Motherhood brings out underlying issues in a woman that you never knew existed.
Fellow moms, if u think ive got it altogether bcos i always look so happy and collected in my ig. Think again. I'm really just a regular mom with my regular insecurities.
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