There’s odd moments where I doubt myself at times .. I used to put up this nonchalant front and prance in as if Nothing could scare me and I am of certain to where I stand .. but all’s truth there sat a timid little boy who’s afraid that one day people will realise he is not all that good and in an instant be replaced .. so I would try to please and keep up with an appearance that slowly but surely all that was fantasised became the truth.. it was very draining, tiring, sad and toxic.. but no one needed to know ..
Now. Here. Learning to get to know Me. There’s a calmer more at peace me. Still undoubtedly insecure but more at peace. There’s no appearances that I need to keep up with, there’s just me trying my best to create what so ever knowledge or talent that HE grants me with.. knowing that this is what I do and yet the rest I surrender to HIM.. and thus within this I continue to find happiness and peace amongst the small little things .. for example today I found a little empty road with a slight slope for me and my koi to pump on and train .. that kept me happy 🙂 .. I hope you too can find peace and find pockets of little happiness everywhere .. Insyallah
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