【一切的失敗和不足,都是最美好的安排】
All Failures & Lacks Are The Best Things to Happen to Us
三個月前,收到來自台灣客人的這封電郵時,開心和心酸交織著在心裡。
開心,因為這是一年前通過Zoom視訊的客人。他居然在我們看八字的一週年,特地寫了封感謝函給我,真有心!
心酸,因為他寫在電郵裡的低落心情,我完完全全明白。
他的經歷,是我的曾經。我當初也是很難,很久才能走出來。
有一回,我為一位芳華正茂的女子批八字時,她很用心的寫下我說的話。
論寫筆記的完整,她是我客人當中的佼佼者。
寫到一半,我注意到她的右手開始微微顫抖。我以為是空調的風太大了,冷到她,便問她要不要披巾。
她說,是她的焦慮症發作。
「我沒在兇你,也沒對你嚴厲,你為何突然焦慮?」
「我.....打從今年疫情打亂了我的計畫,我就一直很焦慮。我覺得我很沒用,同學們都前進了,只有我現在什麼都不是,亂糟糟的。我就一直很緊張,萬一我一直都是這樣,怎麼辦?」
說著,她眼眶一紅,眼淚像斷了線的珍珠鏈似的灑下來。
我的媽呀!是我的樣子長得很催淚,還是我的聲音聽起來很虐心?怎麼客人,不分男女老少,東南西北,看到我好像都很容易哭?
我抓起一張紙巾遞給她。
「所以,我不是來了嗎?你來找我,就是要問個明路,而你很幸運那麼快就看到我啦!你看你的筆記寫得多工整,多齊全。我很多客人都不如你啊!我今天的工作,就是來給你答案的。我沒有把握,也不會接你這份差事。我接了,就代表還可以補救。你照著我的指示去做,一定柳暗花明又一村。」
又另一回,一位四十多歲的媽媽請我看兒子的八字。
我在批著八字時,這位媽媽點頭認同,然後就聲淚俱下。
我轉頭看著她沈默不語的先生。我說錯了什麼嗎?太太哭成淚人,你怎麼連紙巾也不拿給她啊?
「我是個沒有用的母親,很不稱職的母親。我沒有辦法教好孩子。我很愛他,可是很多時候我都不知道要怎麼做,我就會對他發脾氣,說狠話,過後我又後悔。我忍下來,可是後來還是會一樣!」
我沒打斷她,等她的哭聲逐漸小聲後,我柔柔的說:「我來啦!我坐在你前面了。你已經看到我,就是有辦法了。你知道你自己不行,會去找辦法,就代表你願意去學習做個好媽媽啊!」
我把紙巾遞給她,再說:「不要哭了,要不然,別人看了以為是我不要借你錢,才把你弄得那麼傷心。」
曾幾何時,我們都會以外在所擁有的,來定義自己的人生是否值得自己喜歡。
從原生家庭、樣貌、健康、身型、智力、天賦等,到後來的學歷、友情、事業、財富、婚姻、子女......
哪一樣沒有,而偏偏是我們最想要的,我們就會認定自己失敗的一塌糊塗。
我認為這就是普通教育最大的問題所在。父母老師都是這樣把我們「分門別類」的。值不值得父母疼愛或向親朋戚友炫耀,也離不開那幾點。
久而久之,我們也只會以「成功」來定義自己是否有價值,甚至來衡量自己是否有活下去的勇氣。
我比較喜歡佛法的定義。我們每個人都是一尊佛,六道眾生皆有佛性,只因一時的迷,因此墮落在苦輪不停的輪迴。
可正因為我們有佛性,我們都有無窮無盡的可能。每個人的內在有著很強大的力量,等著我們遇到明師後,去發掘、探索和了解。
而這天生俱來的力量,就是你改命立命的資本。
如果人生順風順水,我們永遠不會想要出離,誤把人間當極樂,所以一定要有苦,我們才會意識到,為什麼我們會在這鬼地方?要怎麼樣才可以離開這鬼地方去到極樂?
反過來,我們都應該感恩自己遇到的挫折,因為從這些苦中,我們才能生出智慧。
沒有一個八字是完美的。一切的失敗和不足,都是最美好的安排,如此你才會有出離心,返本歸源。
_______________________
3 months ago, when I received this email from my Taiwan client, there was this feeling of bittersweetness.
I was happy because this was the client I did a Zoom consultation last June. He sent me this email on the one-year anniversary date of our Zoom call, to express his gratitude. How sweet!
On the other hand, I could relate to the emotional turmoil he felt at that point in his life.
His experience was my past. It also took me a very long time to walk out from my gloominess.
Once, I analysed the Bazi of a very young lady. She was meticulously jotting down notes as I spoke.
Her detailed note-taking skills easily took the top place among my clients.
Halfway through, I noticed her right hand was trembling slightly. I thought it was due to the cold draft from the air conditioning, so I asked if she needed a shawl.
She replied that it was her anxiety disorder acting up.
“I was not fierce or strict with you. What caused your sudden anxiety?”
“I…ever since the pandemic disrupted my plans, I have been in this state of anxiety. I kept feeling useless. All my classmates are progressing expect me. I have nothing to show for and my life is in a mess. I am very anxious. What if I continue to be like this? What am I going to do?”
As she spoke, her eyes turned red and tears started rolling down like a broken strand of pearl necklace scattering onto the ground.
Oh dear! I am beginning to wonder if I have a tear-jerker face or a heart-tormenting voice. Why do my clients, regardless of gender and age, North South or East West, seem to cry easily when they see me?
I grabbed a piece of tissue and handed it to her.
“Ain’t I here already? You came to me for a roadmap and you are very lucky to see me so soon. Look at how precise and neat your notes are! Many of my clients aren’t even on par with you. My job today is to give you answers. If I didn’t have the confidence, I would not have taken up your request. Now that I did, that means there is still hope. If you follow my instructions, you will see things looking up very soon.”
On another occasion, a mother in her forties came to me for her son’s Bazi consultation.
As I was analysing, the mother nodded her head in agreement. The next thing I know, she started weeping loudly.
I turned to look at her husband, who had been silent all along. Did I say something wrong? And hello, your wife was crying. Why weren’t you gentleman enough to give her a tissue paper?
“I am a useless mother. I am incompetent. I do not know how to teach my son well. I love my son very much. But many times, I do not know what to do and thus I flare up at him and speak harshly. I always regret afterwards. I tried enduring but it still ends badly!”
I did not interrupt her and waited for her cries to soften, before speaking gently, “I’m here! I’m already sitting in front of you. You are looking at me now and that means help is here. You know that you are incompetent, so you went looking for solutions. That means you are willing to learn how to be a better mother!”
I handed a piece of tissue and said, “Don’t cry anymore, otherwise, other patrons will think that it’s because I refuse to lend you money.”
Since young, we have been using external possessions to define whether our lives are worth liking.
The family we are born into, our looks, health, body shape, intellect, talents, and then we move on to compare our academics, friendships, career, wealth, marriage and children.
If we are lacking in the area we covet most, we grade our lives as a failure.
I think this is the biggest problem in societal education. Our parents and teachers categorized us that way. Whether we as children are worthy of their love and bragging, depends on the few points above too.
Thus over time, we can only use the term “success” to determine whether we are of value, for some people, whether they should live on to take their next breath.
I very much prefer the definition in Buddhism. We are all Buddhas. Each and every sentient being in the six realms has a Buddha nature in them. But they got lost momentarily and fell into the endless wheel of reincarnation.
Yet, because of our Buddha nature, we have an unlimited source of potential. Every one of us has a very powerful strength inside us. It is just waiting for us to meet an accomplished teacher, so that we have the tools to explore and understand it:
And this strength that we are born with is the capital for us to transform and establish our own destiny.
If life is smooth-sailing, we would never want to leave and would mistake this mortal realm for Pureland. Thus, we all need sufferings, to realise that we should break out of this hell of a place. There has to be a better world somewhere. So how we get there?
We should, in fact, be grateful for all the setbacks and failures we have. Because it is from these sufferings, our wisdom arise:
No single Bazi is perfect. Every failure and lack we experience is the best arrangement for us, so that the heart of renunciation will arise in us and we will return to where we came from.
同時也有10部Youtube影片,追蹤數超過173的網紅電扶梯走左邊 Jacky,也在其Youtube影片中提到,theDoDoMen下集! YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheDoDoMen IG: https://www.instagram.com/thedodomen - 最大的風險就是不去冒險 | Biggest risk is to not t...
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- 關於definition of success in life 在 電扶梯走左邊 Jacky Youtube 的最讚貼文
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definition of success in life 在 謙預 Qianyu.sg Facebook 的最佳貼文
【別以爲孩子不完美就不能有自己的成功】
Don't Assume That An Imperfect Child Will Never Have His Own Success
我教書,從小學到中學級別,斷斷續續有十年。
我學命理堪輿超過十五年。
在我家族裡的孩子,還未到十歲,每個幾乎都有十八般武藝,生活能力特別強,就算是女生也特別獨立。
因為這幾種經驗的結合,對於如何栽培孩子的潛能我特別有心得。
在我眼裡,每個人都是佛,所以有無限的可能,孩子也一樣。
但諷刺的是,有時父母反而成為孩子的絆腳石。他們會把自己思維的侷限套在孩子的身上,斷了孩子未激發出來的潛能。
怎麼會這樣?
因為父母本身的八字潛能,也從來沒有被他們的父母激發過,因此成了這惡性循環。在忙於工作和兼顧家庭的無頭蒼蠅日子裡,他們又有何能耐和知識去做這些看似吃力不討好的事呢?
我批的孩童八字當中,有自閉兒、過動兒,有先天缺陷如聽力障礙、語言障礙等,學習過程會比一般孩子來得艱辛。
孩子還未進小學,要嘛就是父母因為這孩子而影響了婚姻,要嘛就父母覺得這孩子不行了,將來做什麼工作就將就吧!
今世的先天缺陷是前世惡因結的果,不該代表孩子的這一世就是死刑。
六歲前為孩子看八字和風水,對孩子的學習人生有很大的補助。三歲前,更佳。
破繭而出的蝴蝶,才能展翅高飛,而不是你打著真愛的口號,拿把剪刀去剪破毛毛蟲的繭。
父母是孩子的第一任老師,如果你們不懂得改善自己的命,你的孩子也會很容易向命運低頭。
愛孩子,就請告訴他們,人生的選項沒有必要鎖在ABCD,我們可以自己創造XYZ。
成功不只是有一種定義。
無論您是一位老師還是一位家長,我大力推薦大家去看這部適合一家大小一起看,由鄧超主演,挑戰我們華人社會對教育和親情習以為常的觀念的大陸電影《銀河補習班》。
看了之後,深入的去思考:我們追求有個孩子真正的意義應該是什麼?
————————————————————
I have ten years of intermittent teaching experience, from primary school level to secondary school level.
I have also learnt Chinese Metaphysics for over 15 years.
In my family, before the age of ten, almost every child would have acquired a lot of life skills. Even the girls in our family are especially independent.
Because of these myriad experiences, I have my unique insight on how to cultivate the potential of children.
I see everyone as a Buddha, thus having infinite potential. The same goes for children.
Yet ironically, sometimes parents, the people who proclaimed the loudest that they love their children, are the exact ones who tripped their children in Life. They impose their limiting mindset on their children, disrupting the undiscovered potential of their children.
Why so?
Because the potential in the adults' Bazi was also never unearthed by their parents, thus forming a vicious cycle. In the daily grind of juggling family and work, running around like a headless chicken, how will they have the patience and knowledge to do such seemingly thankless acts?
In the children's Bazi I have analysed, some have autism, ADHD, listening or speech disabilities etc. Their learning process will understandably be more difficult than normal children.
Thus even before the child enters primary school, the parents would either face marriage disharmony or think that the child should just settle for any decent job in the future.
Born disabilities of this life are the fruits of our past-life karmic deeds, but this should not mark a death penalty in the child's destiny this lifetime.
To get the child's Bazi analysed and Feng Shui audited before age 6 can have enormous positive effects on the child's learning path. Even better if before age 3.
The butterfly that breaks out of its cocoon on its own is able to take flight, but will be crippled when you cut the caterpillar's cocoon with a scissors in the name of supposed true love.
Parents are the first teachers in a child's life. If you do not know how to change your destiny, your child will bow down to Life easily.
If you love them, please let them know life does not have to be restricted to ABCD options. We can create our own XYZ choices.
Success has more than one definition.
Whether you are a teacher or a parent, I recommend you and your children to watch this inspirational China movie on challenging Chinese societal norms in parenting and education, Looking Up (銀河補習班), starring Deng Chao.
And think in depth, what should be the real meaning in having children?
definition of success in life 在 美國在台協會 AIT Facebook 的最讚貼文
上周的AIT學友講座邀請了「全球創業峰會」學友:AppWorks法務輔導長王琍瑩女士,以「後疫情時代 - 工作與生活融合 (Work-Life Integration) 的新時代」為題,探討新冠肺炎如何改變我們的生活、工作與溝通模式,而人們的生活型態又如何影響全球市場與商業發展。琍瑩也從新興科技與商業模式的角度切入,觀察工作與生活融合的趨勢,並鼓勵大家勇敢追求事業與家庭的平衡,用自己喜歡的方式定義成功。12月的學友講座訊息即將公告,千萬別錯過喔!
關於「全球創業峰會」請見:https://www.state.gov/global-entrepreneurship-summits/
Last week, Ms. Liying Wang, 2017 Global Entrepreneurship Summit program alumna and the Legal Master of AppWorks, delivered an inspiring talk on work-life integration during the pandemic. Liying explained how Covid-19 changes our life, work and communication. She also shared her insights on trends related to work-life integration and encouraged people to pursue their own definition of success when it comes to balancing business and family life. Stay with us for the next Alumni Talks series event in December.
Learn more about Global Entrepreneurship Summit: https://www.state.gov/global-entrepreneurship-summits/
definition of success in life 在 電扶梯走左邊 Jacky Youtube 的最讚貼文
theDoDoMen下集!
YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheDoDoMen
IG: https://www.instagram.com/thedodomen
- 最大的風險就是不去冒險 | Biggest risk is to not take risk
- 不要被標籤綁住自己,你就是你!| Don't let labels change your identity
- 不要空想,計劃和目標都是改變的勇氣 | Plan, goals and courage
- 跳出舒適圈時容易焦慮和放棄,請謹記,莫忘初衷 | Don't forget why you started
- 當你不願意為了「想要」犧牲,那你可能沒那麼想要 | How bad do you really want it?
我們每集都會辦抽書活動,記得 follow 我們 🤩
IG: https://www.instagram.com/leftsideescalator.jacky/
FB: https://www.facebook.com/LeftSideEscalator.Jacky/
***
(00:01:34) 對人生最大影響的書 | Most impactful books
(00:05:10) 很喜歡的座右銘 | Favorite mottos
(00:06:54) 慢慢學習如何自省、認識自己 | How to self reflect and understand yourself
(00:08:38) Eric 的人生低潮 | Eric's tough times in life
(00:11:19) Ian 的人生低潮 | Ian's tough times in life
(00:15:35) DoDoMen的FB海豚洋社團 | Building communities
(00:16:57) Eric 對成功的定義 | Eric's definition of success
(00:17:51) Eric 的理財建議到財富自由 | Eric's financial advice for financial freedom
(00:19:24) Ian 對成功的定義 | Ian's definition of success
(00:21:01) 主持人對成功的定義 | Jacky's definition of success
(00:22:49) 如何克服身分轉變的衝擊 | How to conquer identity change
(00:24:39) 為什麼不喜歡被稱為YouTuber | Reason not like being called YouTubers
(00:25:10) 對快樂的定義 | Definition of happiness
(00:26:06) 目標和快樂的平衡 | Balancing ambition and happiness
(00:29:06) 對愛的定義 | Definition of Love
(00:31:10) DoDoMen 理想的感情對象 | Ideal romantic relationships
(00:35:29) 最喜歡的旅行 | Favorite trip
(00:39:32) 旅行最印象深刻的時刻 | Most memorable moments
(00:41:10) Jacky 在埃及的驚險經歷 | Jacky's Egypt adventure
(00:47:44) 比跳傘還刺激的離開舒適圈活動 | Most exciting leaving comfort zone activity
(00:49:10) 做過最隨機的事 | Most spontaneous activity
(00:50:07) 喜歡一個人旅行嗎 | Traveling alone
(00:51:44) 說走就走 在機場當場買機票 | Buying plane tickets at the airport
(00:53:06) 給在舒適圈裡的朋友一些話 | Advice for leaving comfort zone
definition of success in life 在 電扶梯走左邊 Jacky Youtube 的最佳貼文
✨本集來賓:James Hu - CEO & founder / Jobscan.co
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jameshujobscan/
- 成績不好也能創業成功當上老闆,只要開始努力都不算晚,謹記成功還是失敗都是自己的 | Grades don’t determine your future, your attitude does.
- 自省的力量:有策略的努力,比低頭苦幹更重要!| Importance of self introspection, work hard with the big picture direction in mind
- 創業家最強大的武器-大於常人的動機 | Motivations of an entrepreneur
- 使用者是你最重要的投資人 | Your customers are your most important investors
- 冥想、Think Week ,你能每天靜下十分鐘思考嗎 | Meditation, think week, 10 minutes a day
- 凡事先開始才有以後 | Do things that don’t scale
📚 Books Mentioned:
- Rich Dad, Poor Dad 富爸爸·窮爸爸
- 7 Habits of Highly Effective People 與成功有約
我們每集都會辦抽書活動,記得 follow 我們 🤩
IG: https://www.instagram.com/leftsideescalator.jacky/
FB: https://www.facebook.com/LeftSideEscalator.Jacky/
***
(00:01:15) 用三個字形容自己 | 3 words describe yourself
(00:02:26) 求學過程 沒考上 再花兩年轉學進夢想大學 | Not getting into school wanted, 2 year journey to transfer
(00:04:15) 成績不行 靠工作經驗來補 | Work experiences to compensate bad grades
(00:04:50) 免費工作 只為了零售轉白領 | Working for free to learn a skill
(00:05:46) 不屈不饒的申請Microsoft實習 | Getting internship at Microsoft
(00:07:10) 學校帶給你的無形幫助 | Intangibles learned in school
(00:08:06) 終於進到Microsoft | Finally getting into Microsoft
(00:08:24) 2008金融風暴 Microsoft解僱五千人 | Then getting laid off
(00:09:36) 因為「富爸爸窮爸爸」 23歲就買房子 開啟投資理財之路 | Buying a house at 23, jounrey of finance
(00:11:33) 又回Microsoft 但薪水少1/3 | Taking a big pay cut
(00:12:07) 2010 從西雅圖到北京 | Seattle to Beijing
(00:12:58) 白天全職Groupon 晚上創業 | 2 jobs
(00:13:51) 土法煉鋼 做出「我搭車」App | Brute force ride sharing start up
(00:15:22) 贏得北京Startup Weekend 第二屆 第二名 | Second place at Beijing startup competition
(00:16:08) 創業最困難的挫折 | Hardest thing of doing start ups
(00:17:35) 沒有完善的商業模式 努力兩年最終結束創業 | Closing up the company
(00:20:13) 創業應該找好朋友還是單純夥伴 | Friend & business partner
(00:21:18) 美國創業 vs. 中國創業的差別 | Doing a startUp in US vs China
(00:22:48) 山寨和原創之間 | Imitation vs original
(00:24:21) 意外60天二度創業 JobScan | 60 days to start second start up
(00:26:27) 先求有再求好 | Do things that don’t scale
(00:28:24) 成功融資帶來的錯覺 | Illusion of success from fundraising
(00:31:27) 創業會選擇做大規模 還是單純有被動收入 | Going big or revenue
(00:33:48) 當你真心渴望 全宇宙都會聯合起來幫助你 | Being resourceful
(00:36:45) 聘請員工 高薪不是重點 | You don’t need to pay more for better talent
(00:39:26) 創業家視角:十年以後 | 10 year vision in entrepreneurship
(00:40:37) 進不了大學產生的人生理念 | Life views since not getting into desired college
(00:41:51) 最近的好習慣:十分鐘冥想 | 10 minutes meditation
(00:44:15) 慢慢來 比較快 | Slowing down is faster
(00:46:56) 時間管理 沒有大師 | Time management
(00:48:12) 效仿比爾蓋茲的Think Week | Bill Gates’s think week
(00:52:48) 面對家人離世仍保持正向 | Positive attitude despite family loss
(00:57:19) 對快樂的定義 | Definition of happiness
(00:58:56) 十年終於放了自己一年大假 | One year sabbatical after
definition of success in life 在 The Thirsty Sisters Youtube 的最佳貼文
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What is Nina's No. 1 tip to rock a great one-night stand? Any definite no-no going into one-night stands? In this week's deep-dive into all things relationship, The Thirsty Sisters spill the tea on one-night stands and their starter pack to get the night going. Tune in to find out!
00:48 Topic of the day
02:48 Who should not do one-night stands?
08:49 Nina and Sylvias’s definition of one-night stands
10:30 Who can do a one-night stand?
11:59 Stop-gaps of one-night stands
17:31 The Thirsty Sisters one-night stand starter pack
24:26 Rules of one-night stands
31:46 How do you choose the other party?
34:35 How you should behave during one-night stands
40:05 Walk of shame
Sylvia and Nina are not your typical influencers; they give it to you raw and real! Join them as they quench their never-ending thirst for wisdom, trends, success and men.
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PSSST...
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