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存在於認知 補記 (承上上篇)
(Con’t of the post dated 4 October)
Translation: @benkongenglish
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之前不與家姊同住
我們也偶爾聯絡 偶爾見面
後來她搬進我家 時常作伴
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某日她深夜未歸
我動念是否該打給她？
問她是否安全？是否會回家？
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結果我沒打這通電話
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其實同住之前我一直都沒打過這樣的電話
難道因為同住就應該打嗎？
又或是無論同住與否 我都應該打？
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目前她又搬走了
我該天天打電話關心她的安危嗎？
重要的親朋好友不計其數 都該致電關心嗎？
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高中時我拿到屬於自己的行動電話
那一年的跨年 春節
收發的「新年快樂」簡訊如過江之鯽
熱絡的信件匣外 是我落寞的寂寥
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此後再也沒有過一視同人的問候簡訊
只剩心裡一視同人的祝福祈願
是我所理解的「大仁不仁」
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Even though my sister and I were not living together, we met up from time to time
She moved into my home later and we kept each other’s company.
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One day, She was not home though it was almost midnight.
I was struggling whether to call her to make sure she was safe and ask if she would come home.
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I did not make the call in the end
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The reason was I have never made such calls in the past, when we don’t live together.
Should I make this call simply because we were living together?
Or should I call her regardless?
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She has moved out recently.
Should I give her a call regularly to check on her?
Should I do so with all the friends and relatives who have a place in my heart?
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I got my own mobile phone when I was in senior high.
That year, I sent and received plenty of the “Happy New Year” texts which couldn’t warm my lonely heart during New Year and Lunar New Year.
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There was no more universal greeting texts but best wishes from the inside of my heart.
This is how I realized an old Chinese saying “大仁不仁,” loving all equally with silent love, which seems to be no love.
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