【我親愛的Zoom視訊客人們】
To My Dear Zoom Clients
我忍了真的⋯⋯真的⋯⋯很久,今天過後實在忍無可忍,一定要叮嚀所有過去和未來的客人們。
我年紀很大了,受不了太大的刺激。
拜託,你們可以Zoom好來嗎?😓😑
一、Zoom視訊的視角 = 拍護照照的視角
護照自2020年起就已成為古董,但大家這一生應該有拍過證件照吧!
對了,就是要頭髮整齊,讓我看到你的雙耳、雙眼、鼻子、嘴巴、頸項和肩膀,到胸部。
我批八字時,需要看整個面相。不要讓你一半的臉掉出鏡頭外,這樣很像鍾無艷,也不要嘴巴不見掉,這樣我很像在跟一條羅漢魚視訊。
我看面相包括看你的嘴巴、牙齒和說話時的嘴形。是的,看相就是需要那麼仔細。
如果你的螢幕太低,那就找書本或舊報紙,把螢幕墊高一點。別讓我整一個小時半只看到你的雙下巴,會把你的面相比例給看錯。
不要一直告訴我不好意思,方法是人想出來的。
•
二、光線
太暗,我看你如見鬼。
太亮,我會看不清你的膚色。
拉開窗簾,不要背向陽光。
有必要的話,就直接開燈!
•
三、勿放什麼椰樹沙灘/金門大橋的虛擬背景圖
什麼虛擬背景圖都不要放啦~
我的家美最重要,我不在乎你的家美不美,我只是來看命的。
如果你的Wi-Fi不是很強,電腦功能不是很厲害,這類的虛擬背景圖會讓你的視訊畫面卡卡的。
有時你轉個身,整個右邊不見了,或部份的頭髮少了,讓我覺得我好像在看恐怖片,嚇人啊~
•
四、環境和聲音
有些海外客人其實非常用心。為了與我視訊,特別去買有麥克風的耳機🎧,讓我能更清楚的聽到他們的聲音。😍
沒有使用耳機和麥克風的客人,往往他們的聲音會有種空氣般的回音,如果他們本身講話又小聲,我的耳機聲量開滿,我還是聽得滿辛苦的
也有香港和馬來西亞客人租過會議室、鐘點房間或單人工作室,就是為了不受家人的干擾,能安心的與我視訊。😍
最有趣的是,去年新加坡阻斷措施時,有位男客人跑到屋外的走廊坐在地上與我視訊。只是外頭風聲有點大,我好幾次都聽不清楚他的聲音。
曾有客人在咖啡廳與我視訊。咖啡廳裡的高談闊論聲和器皿的敲擊聲,頻頻從我的耳機闖進我的耳朵,哇~我的耳朵那時真的是活受罪,還要裝一副氣定神閒的樣子。
天啊,兩次過後,我寧願退錢,也不再見這樣的客人了。耳朵只有一對,我要保護好啊!
在這裡聲明:一般我們買手機時的那種有麥克風的耳機,就已能視訊。沒有戴耳機和麥克風的客人,我一概會拒絕諮詢,把費用原銀奉還。
五、孩子
曾試過諮詢的前20分鐘,一直被女客人的小孩打擾,進來哭著要媽媽主持公道。
如果你家中有六歲以下的兒童,會時不時來敲你的門,我建議你還是先別約我。你這樣會分心,無法聽好我交代的事,而我也得一直等你去安撫你的孩子,就無法在限定時間內看完你的八字,這樣對誰都不公平。
六、我只見客人一人
這個規矩,從我一出道就定下來,也清楚的寫在網站上,根本不用一而再的來試探水溫。
但這兩個星期,還是有客人硬闖關,事先安排自己的配偶/孩子坐在電腦的另一面,要他們聽我講他的八字。
我從不改我的規矩,也沒有八字或風水是我非看不可的。
讀書這麼高,連自己的命都不能自己負責,這已經不是能改到命的人了。
你一定要你的配偶陪你聽,那你需要的不是我來教你改命,是你的配偶來安你的心。
將來若還有這樣的事,我會直接中斷視訊,把錢退回去。
七、「我第一次用Zoom!」
可是從報名那天到今天的諮詢,你有兩個月的時間去摸索。
兩個月,怎麼還是錯誤百出?因為客人根本沒有事先準備和練習。
結果我就這樣等了20分鐘,還得等對方下載軟件。
Zoom不難使用,但如果是你沒有花時間去摸索,就不要撒謊,直接說,我就直接退現錢。
品德是改命的資糧,不要為了自己能脫身就隨便編一個漏洞百出的謊,還說自己是好人。這...不會臉皮太厚了嗎?
小事都不願做好,絕對不會成大器。
八、暈車
有些客人用Ipad或手機來視訊。
重點是,他一支手拿著手機,一支手拿筆寫筆記。他一邊寫,另一支手就一邊搖晃。他做在床上,移動一下,手機就彷彿大海嘯幾下🌊
我一天如果見三個這樣客人,我的視線就搖晃了5個小時。工作完畢後,頭也會痛得厲害,無法完成晚上製片的工作。
沒有自拍器三腳架,也應該有些書本或東西來頂著手機。
各位,多點善心,為我著想一下吧⋯⋯
__________________________
To My Dear Zoom Clients
I have been enduring it for a really really long time. That's it! I am gonna put a stop to this after today and send out this reminder to all my past and future clients.
I am getting on in years, and cannot stand too much stimulation.
Please.... can you guys do a proper Zoom?
Number 1: Going on screen in Zoom = Taking a photograph for your passport.
Since 2020, the passport has become something of an antique but I believe everyone has taken some kind of ID photos! Yes, the ones with your neatly combed trusses where I can see both your ears, nose, mouth, neck, shoulder all the way to your chest.
I would like to see your full face during the Bazi Consultation. Please don't allow half your face to fall off the screen and you end up looking like Zhong Wu Yan! Please also don't hide your mouth making me feel like I am talking to a Arrowana.
When I analyze your facial features, it includes your mouth, teeth and the shape of your mouth while you are talking. Yes, it is down to such level of details.
If your PC / Laptop monitor is too low, please find a book or old newspapers and stack it on top. Please don't let me only see your double chin for that 1.5 hours, as I would probably get the proportion of your face wrong.
Don't keep telling me you are apologetic. Think of a way out.
Number 2: The background lighting.
Too dark, you risk looking like a ghost.
Too bright, I cannot figure out your skin color.
Draw open the curtains, but don't face your back to the sunlight.
If necessary, just turn on the lights!
Number 3: Background images of coconut trees on sandy beaches or the Golden Gate Bridge.
There is no need to put on a virtual background. I only care about how my hone looks, I am not bothered by yours. I am only here to see your Bazi.
If your WIFI signal or your PC / Laptop performance is poor, using the virtual background can often make your Zoom video choppy. Sometimes when you turn your body, one side of your body or some part of your hair will disappear. It's really like one of those spooky movies scaring the wits out of me.
•
Number 4: Background environment and noise.
Some of my overseas clients really put in effort for our Zoom sessions. They bought a headset with a mic so that I can hear them properly and vice versa.
Those that did not use a earphone or a headset often sounded echo-ish, and if they spoke softly, I would have to turn on the volume on my side full throttle and still have a hard time trying to hear them.
There are some clients from Hong Kong and Malaysia who would rent meeting rooms, hotel rooms or private work spaces by the hour so as to reduce any disturbance from others and better focus on the Zoom session with me.
I recalled an interesting incident during the Circuit Breaker last year. A client from Singapore Zoom-ed with me along the corridor outside his house. Most of the time, I was hearing the howling of the winds rather than his voice.
Some clients sat themselves in coffee places for our session. These places are often filled with loud chatters and the clanging of cups and plates, and my ears suffered terribly. Yet, I have to continue to be seen as composed and attentive.
Goodness me, after 2 of such experiences, I decided that I rather refund these clients and never see them again. I have only 1 pair of ears and I want to protect them at all costs!
A normal earpiece that comes with the purchase of a handphone is good enough for Zoom video calls. For clients who do not have a earpiece/headset and a mic, I would end the consultation and refund the monies.
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Number 5: Children
There was once where a session with a female client was repeatedly disrupted by her kids, running in crying for their mother to settle their quarrels. If you have children below 6 years of age, and likely to interrupt our session, I suggest you don't book a consultation with me.
You will be distracted, unable to focus on my advice and I have to wait for you to clear up the situation with your children, eating into the allowable time for me to complete the consultation. This is unfair to both you and me.
•
Number 6: I only meet one person, that is the Client.
I have set this requirement the day I stepped into this line of work, and it is clearly written in my booking form. There is no need to try your luck under any circumstances.
But in the space of 2 weeks, there were some clients who rode their luck and got their spouse / child to sit on the other side of the screen to listen in on our consultation.
I never change my stance, and there is no single client that I cannot afford to lose.
If you insist to have your spouse sit in, it is apparent that you do not need me to help transform your destiny. Rather you really need your spouse to put your heart at ease.
If such things happen the next time, I will end the session immediately and refund the fees.
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Number 7: "My first time using Zoom"
But you have 2 full months to prepare before our actual consultation. You did not end up wasting time exploring the software and I wasted 20 mins waiting for you to download the software.
Zoom is an easy software to use but if you did not spend the time to familiarize yourself with it, please quit the lies and tell me directly. I will refund the consultation fees on the spot.
Our moral ethics serve as the foundation for our transformation. Stop weaving web of lies to get out of sticky situations, and still claim that you are a good person. Isn't this too thick-skinned?
•
Number 8: Giddy spells
Some clients use Ipad or their handphones for the Zoom session. Crucially, they hold the device with one hand, and take notes with the other. As they write, the other hand holding the phone becomes shaky. If he is doing that on his bed, his handphone would shake like a tsunami wave every time he changes his position.
If I see 3 such clients within a day, it would be 5 hours of shaking visuals for me. That would mean a splitting headache at the end of my work day, and not being able to work on my videos at night.
Even if you don't have a tripod stand, at least prop up the device with a book or something.
Please everyone, please be kind and have mercy on me......
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i am doing good意思 在 Follow XiaoFei 跟著小飛玩 Facebook 的精選貼文
實際發生的情況 VS 外人所看到的情況。
昨天我發布了跳水影片,這似乎使人們感到惱火。許多人認為這樣的發文是煽動危險的行為。
“很糟糕的示範,無知的人會跟著模仿然後發生意外而死”
為什麼總是別人表現得不負責任?
從來沒有人評論說“我可能會反覆跳水而死去?”
為什麼別人如此不信任?
是什麼讓您的判斷比其他所有人的判斷要好得多?
人們不必擔心觀看影片然後再重複播放。如果您相信這樣的人的存在,那麼“玩命關頭”的電影會讓您太害怕不敢離開家了,以免擔心遇到魯莽的駕駛員。
該影片用手機高影格率(慢動作)拍攝。長時間的飛行使它看起來像是跳得很高,但實際高度只有6.5公尺高。
雖然不是特別高,但是如果您背部落水或腹部落水,這種高度可能還是會覺得很痛。
我會知道,是因為我不擅長做後空翻,但無論如何我還是會嘗試。肚子落水上並不是致命的,但這也不是一件好事。
這就是為什麼我影片裡跳水方式都是伸直雙腳,雙手臂擺放在身體兩側。實際上,這是一個很好的動作示範。
我總是告訴人們在跳水之前檢查水的深度,並確保水中沒有障礙物。
但是當我們說“跳前先看一看”時,我們真正的意思是“在你行動前要先思考”。
爬上平台有風險嗎?
我要從穩定平台上跳下來嗎?
我的計劃著陸區在哪裡?
著陸區中是否有人或物體?
水的深度適合從這個高度跳嗎?
跳躍時我會在空中做什麼?
我計劃著陸的方向是什麼?
我可以在這些條件下游泳嗎?
跳水後如何離開水面?
我是否需要任何其他設備,例如手套或救生衣或頭盔?
尋問跳水區附近有人嗎?他們知道我在跳水嗎?
這些都不是複雜的問題,也不需要任何技術培訓。這只是基本常識。大多數人無需考慮即可自動執行此操作。
以上並不是特別危險。人們在人身安全方面通常是安全和負責的,有幾個重要例外。真正的安全提示在這裡:
1)跳懸崖時切勿飲酒。
您會驚訝於自然界發生了多少次與酒精有關的事故。
2)切勿向任何人施壓,讓他們嘗試自己不舒服的特技。
如果某人感到害怕,那是因為他們缺乏必要的技能或經驗。這會增加了風險。要教導/不要強迫或欺負霸凌
3)永遠知道你的極限在哪。
採取嬰兒的步驟。在不諮詢經驗豐富的人的情況下,請勿嘗試超出您的經驗水平的事情。忽略任何給您施加壓力或激你的人。他們不會是好朋友。
4)不要試圖做任何愚蠢的事情來打動一個女孩。
這不值得。在接受調查的10位女性中,有9位偏好沒有頭部受傷的男性。
現在去實驗在河邊玩得開心。嘗試去懸崖跳水。盡可能地爬高。在這過程,如果您在任何時候階段感到不舒服時,可以慢慢後退並從較低的地方跳下來,或者根本就不要跳。
和您信任的朋友一起去,並互相觀察注意對方。
首先檢查天氣。提前準備所需的裝備。您可能需要一個漂浮裝備(救生衣或浮標等)。如果您發現之後沒有足夠的裝備,則不需要嘗試去做未做好準備的事。選擇準備好的一天再去玩。
按照這些基本步驟進行操作,您很快就會意識到歇斯底里並不是實現水安全的正確方法。但知識教育和準備好卻是安全的方式。
*跳躍高度是根據h = 1 / 2gt ^ 2,t = 1.154s + -0.004s(240fps)從跳躍頂點確定的
What really happens VS what people see.
Yesterday I posted this which seemed to rile people up. Many people think posting like this is inciting dangerous behavior. "Bad Demonstration. Ignorant people will follow this and die". Why is it always other people who are behaving irresponsibly. No ever ever comments "I might try to repeat this and die" Why is there so much distrust of other people? What makes your judgement so much better than everyone else's?
People aren't at risk from watching a video and then trying to repeat it. If you believed people like that existed then the "fast and the furious "movies would make you too scared to leave the house for fear of reckless drivers.
The video was filmed at a high frame rate (slow motion). Long airtime gives it the appearance of being a very high jump, but it's only 6.5 meters. While not particularly high, this is still high enough to be painful if you landed on your back or stomach. I know, because I'm not good at doing backflips, but I still try anyway. Landing on your stomach isn’t fatal, but it’s not fun either. That's why I recommend jumping feet first, hands in, as seen in the video. It's actually quite a good demonstration.
I always tell people to check water depth and ensure there are no obstructions before jumping. But when we say "look before you jump" what we really mean is "Think before you act".
Is it risky to climb up to the platform?
Is the platform I am jumping from stable?
Where is my planned landing zone?
Are there any people or objects in the landing zone?
Is the depth of the water suitable for jumping from this height?
What will I do in the air while jumping?
What is my planned body orientation for landing?
Can I swim in these conditions?
How will I exit the water after jumping?
Do I need any additional equipment such as gloves or a life jacket?
Are there people nearby? Do they know I am jumping?
None of these are complicated questions and none require any technical training. This is just basic common sense. Most people do this automatically, without even having to think about it.
The above isn't especially dangerous. People are generally safe and responsible when it comes to their personal safety with a few important exceptions. The real safety tips are down here:
1) Never consume alcohol while cliff jumping. You'd be surprised how many accidents in nature involve alcohol.
2) Never pressure anyone into attempting a stunt they are not comfortable with. If someone is scared, it's because they lack the requisite skill or experience. This increases risk. Teach. Don't tease .
3) Know your limits. Take baby steps. Don't attempt something far above your experience level without consulting someone with more experience. Ignore anyone who is pressuring you. They're not being good friends.
4) Don't do anything stupid to impress a girl. It's not worth it. 9 out of 10 women surveyed preferred men without head injuries.
Now go out to the river and have some fun. Go cliff jumping. Climb as high as you feel comfortable. And if at any time if you feel uncomfortable, just back down and jump from somewhere lower, or not at all. Go with friends that you trust, and watch out for each other. Check the weather first. Prepare equipment you need in advance. You may need a flotation device. If you realize you don’t have enough equipment later, you don’t need to attempt anything you are not prepared for. Just come back and play another day.
Follow these basic steps and you will soon realize that hysteria isn’t the proper approach to water safety. Knowledge and preparation is.
*jump height determined using h= 1/2gt^2, t=1.154s+-0.004s (240fps), from apex of jump
i am doing good意思 在 Winkie Lai 黎美言 Facebook 的最讚貼文
永遠懷念
1. What people see on court is another side of me; it’s not me.
人們在球場上看到的我是另一個我,那不是我本人。
2. One thing you gotta know about me is I have absolutely no filter. I have no problem saying what the hell I think of someone.
關於我,你必須要知道的是我非常直接。我從來不怕把我對某人最真實的想法全部說出來
3. The most important thing is to try and inspire people so that they can be great in whatever they want to do.
最重要的事就是去努力嘗試與激勵大家,使他們能夠在想做的事上大放異彩。
4. I focus on one thing and one thing only – that’s trying to win as many championships as I can.
我專注於一件事,而且只有這件事 –那就是盡我所能地贏到越多冠軍。
5. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. No matter what the injury – unless it’s completely debilitating – I’m going to be the same player I’ve always been. I’ll figure it out. I’ll make some tweaks, some changes, but I’m still coming.
我就在這,哪兒也不去,不管受了什麼傷 — 除非我完全衰弱 — 我還是會一直是像以前一樣的球員。我會看著辦,我會做出一些調整、一些改變,但我還是來了。
6. I have self-doubt. I have insecurity. I have fear of failure. I have nights when I show up at the arena and I’m like, “My back hurts, my feet hurt, my knees hurt. I don’t have it. I just want to chill.” We all have self-doubt. You don’t deny it, but you also don’t capitulate to it. You embrace it.
我會懷疑自己,我會缺乏安全感,我會恐懼失敗。我會在那幾個夜晚,在我喜歡的球場上現身時,想著「我的背很痛,我的腳受傷,我的膝蓋受傷。我沒有辦法了,我只想放鬆。」我們都曾自我懷疑,你不需要否認它,但你也不能夠向它屈服。你要做的是去擁抱它。
7. I’m playing against great players, playing against the best in the world. The competition – that’s what I’ve always wanted.
我正在跟偉大的球員們打球,和世界上最好的球員們競爭。這比賽 — 就是我一直想要的。
8. I’ve played with a broken hand, a sprained ankle, a torn shoulder, a fractured tooth, a severed lip, and a knee the size of a softball. I don’t miss 15 games because of a toe injury that everybody knows wasn’t that serious in the first place.
我打球曾經打到手斷、腳踝扭傷、肩膀脫臼、牙齒碎掉、嘴唇裂開、膝蓋腫成一個壘球大小。我不想因為腳趾受傷錯過15場比賽,因為大家都知道腳趾受傷並不嚴重。
9. The topic of leadership is a touchy one. A lot of leaders fail because they don’t have the bravery to touch that nerve or strike that chord. Throughout my years, I haven’t had that fear.
領導這件事是一個敏感的話題。很多領導者失敗,因為他們沒有足夠的勇氣去打破現狀、振奮人心。在我的生涯中,我從沒有這種擔憂。
10. I can’t relate to lazy people. We don’t speak the same language. I don’t understand you. I don’t want to understand you.
我無法了解懶惰的人,因為我們說的是不同的語言。我不了解懶惰的人,我也不想去了解。
11. I don’t want to be the next Michael Jordan, I only want to be Kobe Bryant.
我不想當下一個麥可喬丹,我只想當科比布萊恩。
12. I’m chasing perfection.
我追求完美。
13. Can I jump over two or three guys like I used to? No. Am I as fast as I used to be? No, but I still have the fundamentals and smarts. That’s what enables me to still be a dominant player. As a kid growing up, I never skipped steps. I always worked on fundamentals because I know athleticism is fleeting.
我還能像以前一樣跳躍時跳過兩三個人嗎?不,我不行。我還能像我以前跑得一樣快嗎?不,我不行。但我還保有我的基本功跟打球的智慧,這也是讓我能一直成為主要球員的原因。成長過程中,我從來沒有跳過任何一個步驟,一直按部就班,因為我知道,運動員的生涯是短暫的。
14. I’ll do whatever it takes to win games, whether it’s sitting on a bench waving a towel, handing a cup of water to a teammate, or hitting the game-winning shot.
我願意做任何能夠贏得比賽的事,即使只是坐在板凳上擰毛巾、遞茶水給隊員,或投出致勝一球。
15. Magic has five championships. I have five championships. I’m pretty sure we both know what we’re doing.
魔術強森有五個冠軍。我也有五個冠軍。我敢肯定,我們都知道我們在做什麼。
16. I draw from the crowd a lot.
我從人群學習、得到很多借鏡。
17. I love going one-on-one with someone. That’s what I do. I’ve never lost. It’s a whole different game, just to have them right in front of you and be able to do whatever you want.
我喜歡和某個人一對一,那正是我擅長的,我從來沒輸過。這是一個截然不同的比賽,只是要讓他們走在你前面然後你就可以做任何你想做的事。
18. I’m extremely willful to win, and I respond to challenges. Scoring titles and stuff like that… it sounds, well, I don’t care how it sounds – to me, scoring comes easy. It’s not a challenge to me to win the scoring title, because I know I can.
我非常恣意的贏了,回應了那些挑戰。得分王之類的頭銜……它們聽起來好像,嗯,我不在乎它們聽起來怎樣 — 對我來說,得分並不難。贏得得分王的頭銜對我來說並不算是個挑戰,因為我知道我可以。
19. Everything negative — pressure, challenges — is all an opportunity for me to rise.
每件負面的事 – 壓力、挑戰 – 都是一個讓我提升的機會。
20. These young guys are playing checkers. I’m out there playing chess.
當其他年輕人都在下西洋跳棋時,我已在下西洋象棋了。
21. My parents are my backbone. Still are. They’re the only group that will support you if you score zero or you score 40.
我的父母是我的支柱,現在仍然如此。無論你得的分數是多少,他們都會支持你。
22. If you’re afraid to fail, then you’re probably going to fail.
如果你害怕失敗,那你很有可能會失敗。
23. The most important thing is you must put everybody on notice that you’re here and you are for real. I’m not a player that is just going to come and go. I’m not a player that is going to make an All-Star team one time, two times. I’m here to be an all-time great. Once I made that commitment and said, ‘I want to be one of the greatest ever’, then the game became everything for me.
最重要的是,你必須讓身邊每一個人知道你是玩真的。我不是一個只是在這裡來來去去的球員,我不是一個只會入選全明星賽一兩次而已的球員,我來這裡,是要成為一個能夠跨時代的偉大球星,一旦我做了承諾,說「我想成為有史以來最偉大的」,那麼這場比賽就成為了我的一切。
24. There’s a choice that we have to make as people, as individuals. If you want to be great at something, there’s a choice you have to make. We all can be masters at our craft, but you have to make a choice. What I mean by that is, there are inherent sacrifices that come along with that. Family time, hanging out with friends, being a great friend, being a great son, nephew, whatever the case may be. There are sacrifices that come along with making that decision.
人生中有很多我們要選擇的事。如果你想精通某件事情,你必須做出一個選擇。我們都可以在我們的領域成為大師,但你必須做出選擇。我的意思是每一個我們的決定都會伴隨著犧牲。和家人相處、和朋友出去玩,身為一個好朋友,一個好兒子、侄子,依據情況而定。這些決定都會伴隨著其他事情的犧牲。
25. Are you willing to push the right buttons even if it means being perceived as the villain? … I’d rather be perceived as a winner than a good teammate. I wish they both went hand in hand all the time but that’s just not reality. … I have nothing in common with lazy people who blame others for their lack of success.
即使會被眾人當成惡棍,你還會做對的決定嗎?….我寧願被認為是一個贏家而非一個好隊友。我希望能同時兼顧兩者,但是這是不實際的…. 我和那些懶惰的人 ─ 那些只會將自己沒有成功的原因怪罪於他人的人─ 並沒有任何共同點。
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腳本:
上個月我拍一集說 Last month I film this video 我錯了! I was wrong! 恐慌不好,沒有錯 Panic is not good, true 但是 but 防疫不夠更糟糕! Not enough prevention is worst! 糟糕到引發 Worst till the point to lead us to 西班牙末日! The end of Spain! 世界末日 The end of the world 你準備好嗎 Are you ready? 還好,我已經有口罩 Okay, I already have masks 感謝我的朋友 Thanks to my friends 因為你們本來把口罩搶走 Because you took all masks away 搶光光 All of them COW杯 cow-bei 看來 It seems 疫情很嚴重 The epidemic is serious 靠腰,陰屍路到了 It's "the walking dead " 在這部影片 In this video 我沒有辦法說這句話 I can not say this 因為YouTube 不會讓我賺錢喔 Because YouTube won't make me money 謝謝YouTube Thanks to YouTube COW杯 Cowbei 這次我要拍 This video 像一些人的 Like some guy's 比較短的影片 It's short 重點是 The point is 西班牙 Spain 我以前的國家 My previous country 輸給臺灣 Lose to taiwan 西班牙輸了 Spain lost 臺灣 Taiwan 幹得好 Well done 對,沒錯 Yes yes 親愛的朋友 My dear friends 西班牙很糟糕 Spain is bad 臺灣做得非常好 Taiwan is doing very well 我口乾有一點渴 My mouth is a little thirsty 爽 Cool 這個故事告訴我們什麼? What did this story say? 在這樣 In 世界末日 The end of the world 的情況下 In this situation 恐慌 Panic 有幫助 Works 不要誤會啦 Don't get me wrong 我覺得恐慌是不好的 I think panic is bad 但是在這種情況下 But in this situation 如果你要選 If you need to choose 過度 Over 或是不足 Or insufficient 過度比較好 Over is better 什麼意思? What dose that mean? 臺灣從一開始 Taiwan from the beginning 好熱 So hot 臺灣人就恐慌了 Taiwanese panic 搶口罩 Grab mask 引發我買不到 So me can't buy any 咳咳 (Coughing) 不是不是 No, no 是我暗示你們很cow杯 I hint you guys are very cow-bei 從一開始 At the first time 臺灣人一直在噴酒精 Taiwanese have been spraying alcohol 但是西班牙人 But the spanish 已經有很多人得病 Already many people got sick 還會去參加很多人的活動 And go to lot of people's events 引發連政治人物 Even politicians 都生病了 Are sick 都得了 They got it 不過西班牙人跟臺灣人 But the Spaniards and Taiwanese 有兩件事做得一模一樣 Two things are done exactly the same 一,政治人物用這個 First, politicians use this 來攻擊彼此 To attack each other 來互罵 Come scolding each other 都是蔡英文的假新聞 It's all fake news from Cai Yingwen 這個是國民黨扯後腿 This is the KMT pulling hind legs 對,西班牙更嚴重 Yes, Spain is worse 真的很cow杯 It's really bad 第二件事 Second 是在這個情況之下 Is in this situation 大家 People 愛 Love 搶衛生紙 Grabbing toilet paper 在臺灣 in Taiwan 民眾狂搶衛生紙 People fight for toilet paper 因為謠言指出 Because rumors point out 衛生紙與醫療口罩原料相同 Toilet paper is the same as medical mask 可能會影響衛生紙產量與價格 May affect tissue production and prices 歐伊系 Yummy 這個算是美食節目嗎? Is this a food show? 趕快按讚啦 Hurry up and like 百萬YouTuber YouTuber with more than one Million subs 為什麼 why 大家 everyone 愛搶衛生紙? Love fight for toilet paper? 有人可以幫我解釋嗎? Can someone explain it for me? 沒有你、沒有你、沒有你 Without you, without you, without you 不能沒有你 Can't live without you 寶貝、寶貝! Baby Baby! 這樣 is because 比較安全嗎? Is it safer? 要不要這樣出門? Should I to go out like this? 也不錯 Not bad 我要告訴你們一個秘密 I want to tell you a secret 今年的新希望 My new goal for this year was 是申請臺灣國籍 Apply for Taiwan nacionality 本來想要回去西班牙辦這件事 I wanted to go back to Spain to do this 現在我不知道什麼時候可以回去 Now i don't know when i can go back 但是有一件事 But one thing 很清楚 is very clear 無論如何 no matter how 我一定 I must 要變成臺灣人 To become Taiwanese 小英,妳聽到嗎? Little Tsai, do you hear me? 拜託妳 Please 沒問題 no problem 哦給 OK 謝啦 Thanks 因為臺灣表現得很好 Because Taiwan is doing very well 我已經在做這件T恤 I am already making this t-shirt 你們可以告訴大家 You can tell everyone 臺灣安全 Taiwan is safe 你們不是從武漢來的 You are not from Wuhan 為臺灣驕傲 Proud of taiwan 這個就是 This is 靠,我愛台灣 的意思 The meaning of Damn I Love Taiwan 現在懂嗎? Do you understand now? 不過,要繼續加油 But needs keep fighting 西班牙更加油 Spain need it even more 親愛的家人 Dear family 親愛的朋友 Dear friends 拜託 Please 保持安全 stay safe 不要出門 Don't go out 常常洗手 Wash hands often 吃健康 Eat healthy 多休息 Rest more 常常運動 Exercise often 這個是COW杯 This is Cowbei 我是黑素斯 I´m Jesus 掰 Bye 欸?靠T恤我忘記匯款 Eh? I forgot to do transfer for T-shirt 等我一下 wait for me 掰 bye 我一定 I must 要變成臺灣人 To become Taiwanese 黑素斯沒問題 Jesus, no problem
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