關於 i can do this all day意思 ，我們在網路上蒐集到這些相關的討論、資訊與評價

Elon Musk的演講藝術

Presentality的Andrew大大來幫大家分析了!

Elon Musk 違反賈伯斯時代的演講準則，反而加深自己的魅力!

Elon Musk 可說是全世界影響力最高的商業領袖之一，而且在媒體及社群媒體的聲望奇高無比（IG 有200萬追隨者，Twitter 有6000萬），甚至一句話就可以影響市場的走向。

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他肯定是溝通大師對不對？而且舞台魅力一定很強大？

Well... 從溝通成效的角度來看，他是很厲害沒錯，但如果你看任何一場他的演講，你肯定會覺得很困惑。你會覺得：這個人怎麼這麼尷尬，這麼不會講話？

隨便在 Youtube 上面搜尋他演講的影片，看個幾分鐘，你就會知道我們在說什麼了。看個幾分鐘就可以跳出至少以下的問題：

• 說話吱吱唔唔，贅字一堆
• 停頓在很尷尬的地方，感覺不知道自己在哪裡
• 投影片視覺，跟口述的內容常常對不起來
• 容易忘記自己要說什麼，明顯要去偷瞄一下投影片，不然無法繼續說等等...

啊... 那他到底厲害在哪裡？為什麼一個講話這麼尷尬不流暢的人，能夠迷惑全球這麼多人，發揮如此大的影響力？

我們看完一些他演講影片的結論，是他的魅力來源，跟「前一波」的商業領袖，如 Steve Jobs，截然不同。你甚至可以說，**他們的風格是完全相反的。**

我們今天就從 Musk 的一些演講中，來看他的反向操作！

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📌 反操作1：Jobs Overstates, Musk Understates

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首先，Steve Jobs 開始用的一個「技巧」，說好聽是「讚嘆」，說難聽就是「誇大」，不論發表的產品是否真的是突破性創新，反正就是用 "incredible"、"revolutionary" 等字眼來形容。英文的一個形容，就是 "overstatement" - 把什麼東西都講的「超過」一點。

結果一大堆商業演講的人，做產品無法像 Jobs，但用誇張的形容詞卻學的很像。

Musk 就不一樣。

他自己知道他做的事情很難（讓永續能源普及、把人類變成多個星球的物種），所以他反而用很「沒什麼大不了」的字眼跟語氣來傳達，反而讓這種「謙虛」變成一種效果。這個就不是 "overstatement"，而是 “understatement" - 什麼東西都講的收斂一點。

舉個例子：他2016年介紹太陽能屋頂的時候，有描述一個很大，很難實現的未來，是這樣說的：

> What is the future that we want? It's consisted of really appealing solar roof... then combine that with storage, and with electric cars.

It's an obvious 3-part solution... Yeah... 3 part solution... uh...

It's really not that complicated.

沒錯，他講完之後停頓了一下，然後說嗯，對，就是三個部分，真的沒那麼複雜 lol。

好比在跟聽眾說：「啊就很簡單啊，你們還要我說什麼？」連聽眾都笑出來：

影片: https://youtu.be/4sfwDyiPTdU?t=187

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如果是賈伯斯派的門徒來說，可能會說：

➜We are building a grand future - a future of endless renewable energy and clean mobility, but with the sort of convenience you couldn't even imagine.

To build this, we've had to overcome a trinity of challenges that have bedeviled generations prior:
1. Houses that generate energy during the day all by themselves
2. Efficient and integrated storage
3. And the best electric cars the world has ever seen

Ok，我寫的有點誇張，但 you get the point。

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他最近在發表 Tesla Bot 的演講中，也描述了一個很大的未來，你看看他的說法：

➜ What is the economy? It is uh... at the foundation, it's labor. So what happens when there's... uh... no shortage of labor?

So I think in the long-term, there will need to be universal basic income (applause)... Not right now, because the robot doesn't work (laugh)... we just need a minute.

Essentially, in the future, physical work will be a choice... if you want to do it, you can, but you wouldn't need to do it. Obviously it has profound implications for the economy, because... the economy, at its foundational level, is labor, and capital is just distilled labor, then... is there an actual limit to the economy? Maybe not...

你很難想像有人可以把一些這麼遠大的願景 - 人力工作變成一個選擇、每人都享有基本收入等等 - 用更平鋪直述的方式，沒什麼好大驚小怪的語氣說出來。

連開發萬用機器人的難度，他都只是說 "We just need a minute" lol。

Again 歡迎你們自己看影片，體驗一下：https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUP6Z5voiS8

Btw... Musk 還隨口說了一句 "capital is just distilled labor"。別叫我翻譯，因為我根本不知道這是什麼意思，尤其是 "distilled" 在這裡的用意。如果你去 google "distilled labor"，也找不到什麼東西，只有不到兩千個 search result。

有人會覺得 Musk 太聰明了，所以才會常常說出正常人不懂的話，但我個人覺得他是故意的：就是要「埋」一些每人聽得懂的話，才能加深他「天才」的形象。

Musk 把複雜困難的事情說成很簡單，還有另一個好處：就是大家可能會覺得「這些很難的事情，好像難不倒他耶，嗯他看來真的是個天才！」

大家可能有時候會聽人家說，在西方，就是要懂得如何吹捧自己。但其實有時候不一定要這樣。

💡你做的事情是真功夫時，謙虛反而會放大。

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📌 反操作2：尷尬反而是魅力

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其實，在賈伯斯用流暢的舞台表演稱霸市場之後，很多企業家都下苦工，練就一身演說武功。如 Bill Gates 或是 Mark Zuckerberg，都很明顯的從內向而且不會演講的人，變成老練的演說家。

Musk 很明顯沒有。Honestly, he's not even trying。

上面的影片，一個是2016年，一個是2021年，你覺得哪個舞台上的 Elon Musk，比較尷尬？這個當然有點主觀，但我兩個都看完之後，會覺得今年的他，講的更卡，更不好。

但是 Elon Musk 很明顯的根本沒有在 care 這一塊 lol。如果他有心要成為非常流暢的講者，你覺得這種小事能夠難倒他嗎？

…

還需要Musk暗藏玄機的演講技巧嗎? 需要的同學請按個讚和留言「Must learn from Musk」。

需要更多的演講分析與技巧請追蹤Presentality!

圖片出處: https://bit.ly/3mKfjyX

【我親愛的Zoom視訊客人們】
To My Dear Zoom Clients

我忍了真的⋯⋯真的⋯⋯很久，今天過後實在忍無可忍，一定要叮嚀所有過去和未來的客人們。

我年紀很大了，受不了太大的刺激。

拜託，你們可以Zoom好來嗎？😓😑

一、Zoom視訊的視角 = 拍護照照的視角

護照自2020年起就已成為古董，但大家這一生應該有拍過證件照吧！

對了，就是要頭髮整齊，讓我看到你的雙耳、雙眼、鼻子、嘴巴、頸項和肩膀，到胸部。

我批八字時，需要看整個面相。不要讓你一半的臉掉出鏡頭外，這樣很像鍾無艷，也不要嘴巴不見掉，這樣我很像在跟一條羅漢魚視訊。

我看面相包括看你的嘴巴、牙齒和說話時的嘴形。是的，看相就是需要那麼仔細。

如果你的螢幕太低，那就找書本或舊報紙，把螢幕墊高一點。別讓我整一個小時半只看到你的雙下巴，會把你的面相比例給看錯。

不要一直告訴我不好意思，方法是人想出來的。

•

二、光線

太暗，我看你如見鬼。
太亮，我會看不清你的膚色。
拉開窗簾，不要背向陽光。
有必要的話，就直接開燈！

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三、勿放什麼椰樹沙灘/金門大橋的虛擬背景圖

什麼虛擬背景圖都不要放啦～

我的家美最重要，我不在乎你的家美不美，我只是來看命的。

如果你的Wi-Fi不是很強，電腦功能不是很厲害，這類的虛擬背景圖會讓你的視訊畫面卡卡的。

有時你轉個身，整個右邊不見了，或部份的頭髮少了，讓我覺得我好像在看恐怖片，嚇人啊～

•

四、環境和聲音

有些海外客人其實非常用心。為了與我視訊，特別去買有麥克風的耳機🎧，讓我能更清楚的聽到他們的聲音。😍

沒有使用耳機和麥克風的客人，往往他們的聲音會有種空氣般的回音，如果他們本身講話又小聲，我的耳機聲量開滿，我還是聽得滿辛苦的

也有香港和馬來西亞客人租過會議室、鐘點房間或單人工作室，就是為了不受家人的干擾，能安心的與我視訊。😍

最有趣的是，去年新加坡阻斷措施時，有位男客人跑到屋外的走廊坐在地上與我視訊。只是外頭風聲有點大，我好幾次都聽不清楚他的聲音。

曾有客人在咖啡廳與我視訊。咖啡廳裡的高談闊論聲和器皿的敲擊聲，頻頻從我的耳機闖進我的耳朵，哇～我的耳朵那時真的是活受罪，還要裝一副氣定神閒的樣子。

天啊，兩次過後，我寧願退錢，也不再見這樣的客人了。耳朵只有一對，我要保護好啊！

在這裡聲明：一般我們買手機時的那種有麥克風的耳機，就已能視訊。沒有戴耳機和麥克風的客人，我一概會拒絕諮詢，把費用原銀奉還。

五、孩子

曾試過諮詢的前20分鐘，一直被女客人的小孩打擾，進來哭著要媽媽主持公道。

如果你家中有六歲以下的兒童，會時不時來敲你的門，我建議你還是先別約我。你這樣會分心，無法聽好我交代的事，而我也得一直等你去安撫你的孩子，就無法在限定時間內看完你的八字，這樣對誰都不公平。

六、我只見客人一人

這個規矩，從我一出道就定下來，也清楚的寫在網站上，根本不用一而再的來試探水溫。

但這兩個星期，還是有客人硬闖關，事先安排自己的配偶/孩子坐在電腦的另一面，要他們聽我講他的八字。

我從不改我的規矩，也沒有八字或風水是我非看不可的。

讀書這麼高，連自己的命都不能自己負責，這已經不是能改到命的人了。

你一定要你的配偶陪你聽，那你需要的不是我來教你改命，是你的配偶來安你的心。

將來若還有這樣的事，我會直接中斷視訊，把錢退回去。

七、「我第一次用Zoom！」

可是從報名那天到今天的諮詢，你有兩個月的時間去摸索。

兩個月，怎麼還是錯誤百出？因為客人根本沒有事先準備和練習。

結果我就這樣等了20分鐘，還得等對方下載軟件。

Zoom不難使用，但如果是你沒有花時間去摸索，就不要撒謊，直接說，我就直接退現錢。

品德是改命的資糧，不要為了自己能脫身就隨便編一個漏洞百出的謊，還說自己是好人。這...不會臉皮太厚了嗎？

小事都不願做好，絕對不會成大器。

八、暈車

有些客人用Ipad或手機來視訊。

重點是，他一支手拿著手機，一支手拿筆寫筆記。他一邊寫，另一支手就一邊搖晃。他做在床上，移動一下，手機就彷彿大海嘯幾下🌊

我一天如果見三個這樣客人，我的視線就搖晃了5個小時。工作完畢後，頭也會痛得厲害，無法完成晚上製片的工作。

沒有自拍器三腳架，也應該有些書本或東西來頂著手機。

各位，多點善心，為我著想一下吧⋯⋯

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To My Dear Zoom Clients

I have been enduring it for a really really long time. That's it! I am gonna put a stop to this after today and send out this reminder to all my past and future clients.

I am getting on in years, and cannot stand too much stimulation.

Please.... can you guys do a proper Zoom?

Number 1: Going on screen in Zoom = Taking a photograph for your passport.

Since 2020, the passport has become something of an antique but I believe everyone has taken some kind of ID photos! Yes, the ones with your neatly combed trusses where I can see both your ears, nose, mouth, neck, shoulder all the way to your chest.

I would like to see your full face during the Bazi Consultation. Please don't allow half your face to fall off the screen and you end up looking like Zhong Wu Yan! Please also don't hide your mouth making me feel like I am talking to a Arrowana.

When I analyze your facial features, it includes your mouth, teeth and the shape of your mouth while you are talking. Yes, it is down to such level of details.

If your PC / Laptop monitor is too low, please find a book or old newspapers and stack it on top. Please don't let me only see your double chin for that 1.5 hours, as I would probably get the proportion of your face wrong.

Don't keep telling me you are apologetic. Think of a way out.

Number 2: The background lighting.

Too dark, you risk looking like a ghost.

Too bright, I cannot figure out your skin color.

Draw open the curtains, but don't face your back to the sunlight.

If necessary, just turn on the lights!

Number 3: Background images of coconut trees on sandy beaches or the Golden Gate Bridge.

There is no need to put on a virtual background. I only care about how my hone looks, I am not bothered by yours. I am only here to see your Bazi.

If your WIFI signal or your PC / Laptop performance is poor, using the virtual background can often make your Zoom video choppy. Sometimes when you turn your body, one side of your body or some part of your hair will disappear. It's really like one of those spooky movies scaring the wits out of me.

•

Number 4: Background environment and noise.

Some of my overseas clients really put in effort for our Zoom sessions. They bought a headset with a mic so that I can hear them properly and vice versa.

Those that did not use a earphone or a headset often sounded echo-ish, and if they spoke softly, I would have to turn on the volume on my side full throttle and still have a hard time trying to hear them.

There are some clients from Hong Kong and Malaysia who would rent meeting rooms, hotel rooms or private work spaces by the hour so as to reduce any disturbance from others and better focus on the Zoom session with me.

I recalled an interesting incident during the Circuit Breaker last year. A client from Singapore Zoom-ed with me along the corridor outside his house. Most of the time, I was hearing the howling of the winds rather than his voice.

Some clients sat themselves in coffee places for our session. These places are often filled with loud chatters and the clanging of cups and plates, and my ears suffered terribly. Yet, I have to continue to be seen as composed and attentive.

Goodness me, after 2 of such experiences, I decided that I rather refund these clients and never see them again. I have only 1 pair of ears and I want to protect them at all costs!

A normal earpiece that comes with the purchase of a handphone is good enough for Zoom video calls. For clients who do not have a earpiece/headset and a mic, I would end the consultation and refund the monies.

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Number 5: Children

There was once where a session with a female client was repeatedly disrupted by her kids, running in crying for their mother to settle their quarrels. If you have children below 6 years of age, and likely to interrupt our session, I suggest you don't book a consultation with me.

You will be distracted, unable to focus on my advice and I have to wait for you to clear up the situation with your children, eating into the allowable time for me to complete the consultation. This is unfair to both you and me.

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Number 6: I only meet one person, that is the Client.

I have set this requirement the day I stepped into this line of work, and it is clearly written in my booking form. There is no need to try your luck under any circumstances.

But in the space of 2 weeks, there were some clients who rode their luck and got their spouse / child to sit on the other side of the screen to listen in on our consultation.

I never change my stance, and there is no single client that I cannot afford to lose.

If you insist to have your spouse sit in, it is apparent that you do not need me to help transform your destiny. Rather you really need your spouse to put your heart at ease.

If such things happen the next time, I will end the session immediately and refund the fees.

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Number 7: "My first time using Zoom"

But you have 2 full months to prepare before our actual consultation. You did not end up wasting time exploring the software and I wasted 20 mins waiting for you to download the software.

Zoom is an easy software to use but if you did not spend the time to familiarize yourself with it, please quit the lies and tell me directly. I will refund the consultation fees on the spot.

Our moral ethics serve as the foundation for our transformation. Stop weaving web of lies to get out of sticky situations, and still claim that you are a good person. Isn't this too thick-skinned?

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Number 8: Giddy spells

Some clients use Ipad or their handphones for the Zoom session. Crucially, they hold the device with one hand, and take notes with the other. As they write, the other hand holding the phone becomes shaky. If he is doing that on his bed, his handphone would shake like a tsunami wave every time he changes his position.

If I see 3 such clients within a day, it would be 5 hours of shaking visuals for me. That would mean a splitting headache at the end of my work day, and not being able to work on my videos at night.

Even if you don't have a tripod stand, at least prop up the device with a book or something.

Please everyone, please be kind and have mercy on me......

<脫口秀小訣竅中英翻譯-靈感篇>

文長注意!

之前小歐在脫口秀社團po了外國佛心大神脫口秀演員Gary Gulman，在twitter上連載的366個脫口秀小訣竅。

小妹就認領了靈感篇來翻譯。以下為22個小訣竅的中英文對照，若有翻的不盡理想的地方，請留言詳述，我會再看怎麼修改。原文和網誌版會放在留言處，方便大家查看。

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Ideas
靈感

Tip No. 41: You know those quirky little things you do and think? Collect them in a file or on paper. Even if you’re a storyteller, you can use these as details to add depth and distinction to your jokes.
你了解自己做或想的古怪小事嗎? 把他們記錄在紙上或檔案夾裡。即使你是講故事的人，也可以將這些內容作為細節，以增加笑話的深度和特色。

GARY'S FAVORITES
Gary(原作者)的最愛
Tip No. 45: Don’t Hoard Jokes
Don’t worry about “burning” material on a special or album. Hoarding jokes may signal to your brain that you’re out of ideas. “You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.” — Maya Angelou.
不要囤積笑話。不要怕在演出或專場用光自己累積的材料。囤積笑話會對你的大腦發出信號，暗示你已經沒有想法。如同Maya Angelou所說:”你無法耗盡創意。 你使用的越多，你擁有的就越多。”

Gary’s thoughts on Tip No. 45: This attitude has been crucial to an unprecedented streak of creativity over the last two years. I’ve written four hours of material, which is almost as much as I wrote in my first 23 years of comedy. Most important has been my health, this idea may be second.
Gary對此建議的想法: 在過去兩年中，這種態度對我的前所未有的創造力，有著至關重要的影響。我已經寫了四個小時的素材，這幾乎與我前23年的喜劇寫作一樣多。最重要的是我的健康，這個想法則排名第二位。

Tip No. 62: Look for inspiration everywhere. Paintings, music, poetry, rap, novels, nonfiction, short stories, theater, philosophy, etc. can all provide a spark for creativity. Cross-pollinate your work with broad influences and watch your creativity grow.
在各處尋找靈感。繪畫、音樂、詩歌、饒舌、小說、非小說、短篇故事、戲劇、哲學..等，都可以為創造力提供火花。以廣泛的影響力對你的工作進行異花授粉(原文:cross pollination，藉由風或昆蟲從別的花獲得繁衍的花粉)，並觀察你的創造力增長。

Tip No. 63: Write it all down while the coffee is still telling you you’re mighty. Reread after you’ve turned back into Dr. Banner (yes he’s a genius, but not as self-confident in that condition). That buzz is so valuable but needs editing.
在咖啡發揮效果告訴你”你超棒”的時期，把所有想法寫下來。當你回復成原本的自我 (原文: Dr. Banner，也就是尚未變身成綠巨人浩克的班納博士，是個缺乏自信的天才)時，重讀一次剛才的寫作。思緒激昂(原文:buzz，也有微醺、很鏘的意思)很珍貴，但需要編輯。

GARY'S FAVORITES
Gary(原作者)的最愛
Tip No. 90: After a Good Set, Brainstorm
You just had a great set. Instead of celebrating, use that hour or so after when the synapses are still firing and your confidence is soaring to voice record or write down the ideas that pop up during that especially fertile creative time.
如果你剛完成一場精采的表演，不用太早慶祝，要在大腦突觸仍在觸發、信心爆發、靈感特別豐腴的創作時間裡，把突然出現的想法錄音或寫下，再多花一個小時左右的時間繼續創作吧。

Gary’s thoughts on Tip No. 90: Huge help in making jokes that work longer and coming up with tangents and inspired ideas.
Gary對此建議的想法: 這建議在創作笑話的過程中提供巨大幫助，並提供變化和啟發性的想法。

Tip No. 92: Notice where you do your best thinking. The shower? Running? Listening to music? Not listening to music? Driving? Walking? Make sure to put yourself in the places where you’re doing your best thinking as frequently as possible.
你有注意過你在哪個’場景最能好好思考嗎。沐浴時？跑步時？聽音樂時？不聽音樂時？開車時?走路時？請盡量把自己放在最適合思考的場域。

Tip No. 132: I think you can limit frustration and discouragement by writing just a page on a new premise before trying it out onstage. See if there’s anything there before you spend a day on a new joke. But if you’re truly excited by the new idea, keep going!
我認為你可以在上台試笑話之前，先寫一頁的新前提，這可以限制你的挫敗感和沮喪感。在你花一整天開發新笑話之前，先研究前提是否可挖掘。但是，如果你真心對這個新點子感到興奮，那就放手去做吧!

Tip No. 143: Listen to strangers’ conversations. (I tell myself it’s not impolite if they’re being super-loud.) I got “How Dottie is that?” when a supercilious woman named Jodi bragged “How Jodi is that?” “So Jodi,” her friend replied.
偷聽陌生人的對談(我都告訴自己偷聽並不是沒禮貌的行徑，是他們講話太大聲了)。我有一次聽到一個名叫Jodi的膚淺女人吹噓"How Jodi is that?"，她朋友回覆:"So Jodi"，我因此想出了我的 “How Dottie is that?” 笑話。

Tip No. 157: Need new joke ideas? Be sensitive. If you’re uncomfortable with that word, use “irritable” (or grow up). A lot of good comedy comes from reaction to injustice or discomfort large and small, which requires being hypersensitive to those feelings.
需要新的笑話創意嗎？保持敏感。如果你對這個詞不滿意，請使用“煩躁”(或成長)。 許多優秀喜劇源自於對不平等或不適的大大小小的反應，產生這些感覺都需要保持敏感。

Tip No. 217: “All art is autobiographical. The pearl is the oyster’s autobiography.” — Federico Fellini. Purposefully mine your personal history for your act. Your life is a wellspring. Dig deep.
Federico Fellini說過:“所有藝術都是自傳。珍珠是牡蠣的自傳。”有目的得挖掘你的個人經歷，以作為你的演出。你的生活是靈感之源。請深入挖掘。

Tip No. 241: Many of your favorite writers include the same themes/subjects/objects/interests repeatedly in their work. Don’t be afraid to return again and again to your passions and obsessions to explore and expound.
你最愛的許多作家，都會在他們的作品裡重複探討相同的主題/目標/對象/興趣。不要害怕在你的熱情和沉迷之處，一次又一次得重複探索和闡述。

Tip No. 285: Explore unusual angles in a joke. Example: Examine things from the POV of a child or an Expert. My man Jimmy P and I still laugh over his “Martian response to high school football practice: Why are the hard-heads (players) taking orders from the small soft-heads (coach)?”
在笑話中探索不尋常的觀點。例如：從孩子或專家的視角觀看事物。我和我的兄弟Jimmy P仍會為他的笑話大笑:“火星人對高中足球訓練的反應：為什麼硬頭(球員)會從小型軟頭(教練)那裡得到命令？”

Tip No. 297: One of the miracles of comedy is that you can get redemption for suffering, small and large, by making something funny with it. When you are ready, try to write something funny about your mistakes, setbacks, or even tragedies.
喜劇的奇蹟之一是，藉由使事情變得有趣，你可以從大大小小的苦難中得到救贖。 當你準備就緒時，請嘗試寫一些有關你的錯誤、挫折甚至悲劇的有趣訊息。

Tip No. 298: Skim your life for the unusual events and activities that you can’t believe you were a part of or that people can’t believe you were a part of. Then write about it! Back row No. 93 MULLET:
No. 93後衛MULLET: “瀏覽你一生經歷過的、你或別人不敢相信你參與其中的奇特事件和活動。然後把它寫下來吧!“

Tip No. 310: When it comes to solving the puzzles that are our jokes, draw on every area of knowledge, expertise, and talent. It’s so gratifying to use a fact, a lesson, or a memory from elementary school, high school, or elsewhere to fill in the joke.
在解決我們玩笑的難關時，請利用各個領域的常識、專業知識和才能。用小學、高中或其他地方的事實、課業或回憶來充實笑話，會非常令人滿足。

Tip No. 311: Some of your best ideas will come to you in the shower. There’s science behind why it happens. Get a shower notepad if you have trouble remembering your ideas. Don’t listen to music. Listen to your thoughts. Ruminate on tonight’s set or a new joke.
洗澡時，你可能想到一些最好的點子。這現象的發生原因有科學依據。如果你難以記住自己的想法，請準備淋浴記事本。不要聽音樂。聽你的想法。用今晚的場景或一個新的笑話來反思。

Tip No. 313: Try teaching or informing the audience about something through some of your jokes. We love to learn while being entertained and vice versa. You have knowledge? Put it in your act! Just make sure it’s funny.
試試看通過講笑話來教導或告知聽眾新知識吧。我們喜歡在娛樂的同時學習，反之亦然。你有新知識嗎？把它放在你的演出！只要確保它很有趣就行。

Tip No. 327: Going home for Thanksgiving? Take copious notes! Your family is unique. Being reminded of the dynamics and adding new memories will be great resources for your act. “Family isn’t a word. It’s a sentence.”
逢年過節你會回家和家人團聚嗎？做大量筆記！你的家人是獨一無二的。記住動態場景並添加新的記憶，這會是你表演的寶貴資源。“家庭不是一個詞。 而是一個句子。”

Tip No. 331: There are great stories from our lives that we’re not able to translate into stand-up. Don’t throw them out. Collect those stories in a file for radio and TV and other interview situations.
我們生活中有許多很棒的故事，但我們無法將其轉化為脫口秀。可是不要把它們丟掉。要將這些故事收集在資料夾裡，以後在進行廣播和電視或採訪時可能用的到。

Tip No. 340: Volunteer! Especially if you don’t have a day job. There are so many opportunities to help. You will do good and have something new to write about. In NYC we have New York Cares. One year we decorated an elementary school for Halloween.
如果你沒有正職工作，當志工吧！你會有很多機會能幫助別人。你會做得很好，並有新的事情能寫。在紐約，我們設有紐約關懷中心。今年我們為萬聖節裝飾了一所小學。

Tip No. 358: I have recently started audio recording all notes sessions (for projects), and next time I pitch jokes with a friend I will record that too. It’s very helpful. You will be surprised at what you forgot when you listen back. Ask permission first.
我最近開始錄製所有筆記會話(用於專案)的錄音檔，並且下次我與朋友開玩笑時，我也會錄音。這非常有幫助。當你回聽時，你會驚訝於你忘記了什麼。但錄音前請先徵得許可。

Tip No. 360: Spending holidays with kids? Pay attention to them. Listen to them. Take note and embrace their curiosity and enthusiasm within your writing. (Also avoid the “kids these days” writing. It’s lazy.) Merry Christmas from your second favorite long-haired Jew.
和孩子一起度假嗎？注意觀察他們。聽他們說話。寫下你觀察到的東西並注意，並在寫作中懷抱孩子們的好奇心和熱情。(不要流水帳的寫“現在的小屁孩都如何如何”。這很懶。)你第二喜歡的長髮猶太叔叔在此祝你聖誕快樂(註，原作Gary是猶太人)。

#日本網吧收費 #窮遊北海道 #北海道札幌2020

Hello大家好, 我叫阿Tsar, Hello, everyone.

今日同大家介紹是日本窮遊的其中一個方法 Today I will talk about 1 way of budget travel

就是網吧啦, 300 yen入會費, 即是21.5港元 Internet cafe, 300 yen membership fee, which is 21.5 HKD

過夜一晚, 我選擇住了九個小時, 2145 Yen連税, 即是174HKD Overnight, I chose to stay for nine hours, 2145 Yen with tax, which is 174HKD

加起來200HKD有找, 住在札幌狸小路市中心一晚 Stay one night in downtown Sapporo Tanukikoji for less than 200HKD

其實我機場附近是有酒店住的，不過我在狸小路如果行到得太夜返酒店 In fact, I stayed in hotel near the airport, but I traveled quite late at Tanukikoji

........

在狸小路一帶, 其實最少有五、六間網吧可以給大家選擇 In Tanukikoji, there are actually at least five or six Internet cafes for you to choose from.

我上了三間, 最後選擇了一間在狸小路4丁目入面 I went to 3 internet cafes, and finally chose one at the 4th street of Tanukikoji.

24小時開放的驚安之殿堂隔離, 半夜肚餓還可以留下有幾間便利店 Next to 24-hour open Donki n a few convenience stores downstairs of this internet cafe

網絡咖啡室，簡稱網咖，在90年代興起，在日本已經非常普遍， Internet cafes have emerged in the 1990s and have become very common in Japan.

香港人身嬌肉貴, 好少會到網吧過夜, 不過我覺得這些都是日本生活體驗之一 HK pals are rarely overnight in Internet cafes, but I think these are one of the Japanese life experiences

狸小路酒店收費最平三百多HKD都有 There are hotels charge 300plus in HKD at Tanukikoji

不過網吧收費還要平一半 However, Internet cafe charges are still half price cheaper

而且它有最少三個小時的收費，假如你女人去附近shopping And it has a charge of at least 3 hours, if your woman goes shopping nearby

男士們就可以上來這間網吧休息一下，一邊等 Men can come to this internet cafe and rest while waiting

所以不一定要來這裏過夜的, 但是網吧24小時營業, So not a must to stay overnight, but Internet cafes are open 24 hours,

任何時間想去都可以, 不用做booking, 話上就上 No need to book in advance, u can come here at anytime

我拍片回來給大家看看, 等大家窮遊的時候又多一個選擇 I just want to show u more option for budget travel

這種網吧的形式, 幾乎全日本都是這樣做法 This format of Internet cafe is widely used in almost all in Japan.

我廿幾歲的時候, 曾經上過台灣網吧過夜 I overnight an internet cafe in Taiwan when I was 20 something

亦去過其他國家的網吧, 但是沒有過夜 Also visited Internet cafes in other countries, but did not stay overnight
.........

食落真是非常之好味喎, 入面除了有一塊豚肉之外 Very yummy with the pork inside

還有相當多的醬料, 味道一流 Taste is superb with different sauces inside

這裏上網嘅速度, 亦都好快, 睡不著可以睇片打機都得 The internet speed here is also very fast. If you can't sleep, many things to entertain.

到你check out之後, 亦可以行一行驚安之殿堂 After you check out, you can also go to the Donki next door

我就在驚安買了一對鞋墊, 非常之舒服透氣 I bought these insoles in Donki very comfortable and breathable.

因為我還有好多地方要去, 大家睇完我條片之後 As I had many places to go that day

以後去北海道, 就可以更加精明消費 Going to Hokkaido in the future can make smarter consumption after watching my video

網吧的運作收費模式, 全日本通用 Internet cafe operating formats are similar throughout Japan

昨天我跟一班junior傾計, 有個junior話 Yesterday I talked with my juniors, one said:

援交女part time girlfriend post上網 Part time girlfriend post online

話一是给錢、一是给口罩找數, 一篤一個口罩 Customers can either pay in cash or in surgical(anti virus) mask

我當然不知是什麼意思啦, 不過我平日都有睇新聞 I don't clearly know how they charge. But I've heard from news somehow

我就問番佢, 咁顏射幾多個口罩呀?成班junior笑到死下死下 Then I asked him back for how many masks do they charge bukkake? The juniors LMAO.

非常時期要注意個人衛生, 召妓這麼埋身肉搏的活動 Attention should be paid to personal hygiene during recent times.

大家都時要注意健康啦, 我在這裏講這些,都是開下玩笑輕鬆下啫 Everyone must pay attention to your well-being, I am just joking for saying BS　here for relax.

睇咗當去咗, 又可以和朋友同事親戚多個話題 DO u enjoy my video tour? Share with people u know for more topics.

記得按通知制, 睇完影片留個表情符號以示支持 Remember to press the notification bell, leave an emoji to show support before u leave

功德無量, 我們下一條片再見,88 Thx a million n with that said until next time.88!

請用片右下角調4K睇片。

👉 Facebook➪ http://pics.ee/c7z0
👉 InstaGram ➪ http://pics.ee/1IhQ
👉 虎記商行 ➪ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcCtlMtKy1nr1-GUly9ZMxw
👉 虎記商行 ➪ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdG5jLLQs2M

【簡介description】
Hi everyone
大家好
I´m Jesús
我是黑素斯
Have you seen my videos?
看過我的影片嗎？
Yesterday when I was meditating
昨天我在冥想的時候
And I have something that needs to tell you
我想到一個需要告訴你的事情
Really, I really need to tell you this
真的，我不得不跟你說
Thank you Taiwan
謝謝台灣
Actually, many people say thank you, but means nothing
其實，很多人說謝謝沒有什麼特別的意思
So I want to explain you
所以我要跟你們解釋
Why do I want to thank Taiwan?
為什麼我要感謝台灣？
Many Taiwanese netizens misunderstood me
很多台灣網友誤會我
Because I often talk about cultural differences
因為我常常討論文化差異
And I won't always say
而且我不會一直說
Taiwan is awesome!
台灣棒棒！
Taiwan is perfect!
台灣完美！
I love Taiwan!
我愛台灣！
This is too fake
這樣太假的啦
However, because I didn’t say that
但是，我沒有這樣說
Some people think I don't like Taiwan
有人覺得我不喜歡台灣
Listen
我告訴你！
You were born in Taiwan just by chance
你們是不小心在台灣出生
Be a resident is my decision
當新住民是我的決定
Who cherishes this country more?
誰比較珍惜這個國家？
Recently I´m travelling a lot
最近常常出差
Last time I went to Shanghai, I found that the life there is tough
上次去上海發現那邊的生活多幸苦
Dear Chinese friends, please
親愛的中國網友，拜託
Don't start to throw shit on me. It's boring. OK?
現在不要開始罵我，很無聊，好不好？
And I don't care
而且我不在乎
Chinese are confident, great!
中國人很有自信，讚！
However, if we don´t talk about problems
但是，沒有討論哪裡問題
problems won´t disappear!
問題也不會不見！
I admire people who can live in Shanghai
我超佩服能夠住在上海的人
That place is too big
那個地方太大了
Everyplace is far away
什麼地方都很遠
They only like new things
全部都要改新的
Hey, only old things have a soul
欸，舊的才會有故事
Is terribly expensive, how can poor people lives there?
貴得要命，窮人怎麼過生活？
Taxi drivers wanna rape me off every day
計程車司機每天都想要騙我的錢
Aunts are very aggressive
那邊的阿姨，很兇
Internet, Internet. . .
網路，互聯網。。。
Wall (VPN) is not easy to pass
牆不好翻
Do not take it wrong, Shanghai also has its beauty
別誤會，上海也有上海的美
After all, my friend and ex-girlfriend are all Shanghainese
畢竟我好朋友，前女友都是上海人
But when I returned to Taiwan, I felt
但是我回來台灣的時候覺得
Very thankfull
充滿了感謝
Thank you for reasonable living expenses
謝謝合理的生活費
Thanks for the convenient internet
感謝方便的網路
Convenient transportation
方便的交通工具
Thank you for Taiwanese cuisine

謝謝台灣的美食
Thanks for Taiwan's security
感謝台灣的安全
But most of all thank you for:
但是最要感謝你們的是：
Taiwan’s human touch
台灣的人情味
Let me live my life here feels great
讓我在這邊過生活很蘇胡
Did you realize about it
有沒有發現
People doesn´ t cherish the everyday life things
我們已經習慣一個東西，就不珍惜？
Right?
是不是？
If there is food at home
家裡有東西吃
You take it for granted
你覺得理所當然
Your boyfriend gives you a macchiato every day
男朋友每天送給你一杯焦糖瑪奇朵
Yout think it is his job
妳覺得是應該的
if he doesn´t, you will complain
沒有送，妳也許會罵她
Actually, there is no such thing as "obviously"
其實，沒有所謂的『理所當然』
I lived in Taiwan for 12 years and got used to everything
住在台灣12年，我什麼都很習慣
So, needs to remind myself
所以，要提醒自己
Cherish the benefits of living in Taiwan
好好珍惜住在台灣的好處
Every day people tell me
每天都有人跟我說
Thank you for loving Taiwan so much
謝謝你那麼愛台灣
do you need thank me for liking Taiwan?
我喜歡台灣需要謝謝嗎？
When I go to the cafe for coffee, the boss won´t say
我去咖啡廳喝咖啡的時候，老闆不會說
Thank you for like our coffee
謝謝你喜歡我們的咖啡
right?
是不是？
Probablily he will way
他比較會說
Do you like it?
喜歡嗎？
Come back again
那以後常來喔
I want to thank Taiwanese government for my ID
我要感謝台灣政府給我台灣身分證
That wasn´t Wu Feng?
那不是吳鳳嗎？
Jesús, you talk a lot of bullshit!
黑素斯，你亂講一大堆！
Don´t compare yourself with Wu Feng
你不要再跟吳鳳比較
Congratulations to Wu Feng!
吳鳳恭喜！
Question
問題
Do you value living in Taiwan?
你珍惜住在台灣嗎？
What about caramel macchiato from your boyfriend?
男朋友送給你的焦糖瑪其朵呢？
What about your girlfriend´s attention?
女朋友的關心呢？
What about the food I cook for you?
阿嬤幫你煮的菜？
Oh!
唉呦！
Jesús, do you cherish me?
黑素斯，你珍惜我嗎？
Did you thank me?
有感謝過我嗎？
S***t
靠腰！
Okay
好啦
You know, right?
你知道吧
Like, Subscribe, Share with your Cat
按讚，訂閱，跟你家裡的貓咪分享
Meow!
喵！
I said Meow!
我說喵！
Meow means do it now
喵的意思是快一點啦
Meow! Meow!
喵喵！
Bye
拜！
I'm curious, do you know I'm sharing photos in IG everyday?
我好奇，你知道每天我在IG PO照片嗎？
Check it out
去看啦
I reply msn by myself
回答是我本人耶
Next week
下個禮拜
Meow!
喵！
Bye
賤！


【音樂MUSIC】
Funk Down