【别把孩子當笨蛋】
I don't like crowds.
It would take a lot for me to squeeze into the busy Mustafa on a Friday night.
While queuing to pay, an Indian gentleman turned to ask my Husband and I if it was a set of CDs we were purchasing.
I told him it was a series of DVDs, of 50 over episodes.
He smiled and said,
"Parents should teach their children about their religion. It's a pity when they don't. If they really know, the children wouldn't look elsewhere and convert to another religion."
He talked about how he taught his three children Sanskrit and discovered that they have great memory powers because of that.
Did I just bump into my soulmate at a random cashier queue in Mustafa?
I nodded and replied, "Yes, there would be no reason to look elsewhere."
The gentleman agreed heartily.
I remembered a recent incident and added,
"Unless the parents do not know it themselves."
A Dharma sister of mine sends her 6-year-old son to a weekly Buddhism class.
She engages him in nightly chanting sessions at home.
One day, the son wanted to stop his Buddhism class because of a particular classmate.
I asked her if she had told him the purpose of attending Buddhism class.
She said no.
Later on, I learnt that she did not teach her son many required steps in Buddhist practice.
She felt that it would be too difficult for him. #ownselfthink #ownselfbelieve
It dawned on me that my Dharma sister doesn't have a clear reason for becoming a Buddhist.
Neither did she read the books written by our Root Guru, Living Buddha Lian Sheng, to understand the Dharma better.
How do you teach something to your loved one, if you don't know it or believe in it yourself?
But what if it is the most valuable subject you can ever teach your child?
I looked at her son. He didn't look dumb or a slow learner to me.
Having taught over a hundred students his age, I am highly aware of their ability to absorb knowledge.
I am a staunch believer of every child's potential, regardless of his background or intellect at birth.
However.
An ignorant and impatient parent can kill the brightest bulb in a child.
I asked if she heard of Thomas Edison's story.
She never did.
Thomas Edison was a dyslexic child with hearing problems. His teacher viewed him as an "addled" student. He only received formal education for 3 months before he was taken out. He was later homeschooled by his mother.
In his biography, the man who invented light bulbs and batteries, and had 1093 patents to his name wrote:
"My mother was the making of me. She was so true, so sure of me, and I felt I had something to live for, someone I must not disappoint.”
Sometimes parents impose their limiting beliefs onto their children.
Over time, the child will start to believe his parents' limits define his potential.
If the child has a weak Bazi, he does not have the physical and mental stamina to break out of his parents' suffocating definition. He would go on to live a mediocre life, feeling unfulfilled yet unable to say why.
Usually such Bazi are very reliant on their mothers, even after they become adults.
While the mum may feel good about being needed, it does nothing to improve the child's confidence and prosperity in life.
The Buddha believes in the potential of every man.
While He has imparted great teachings at length to some of His smartest disciples, He was a very patient teacher who also taught simple yet profound teachings in one-liners to the less bright ones.
They too went on to achieve Arahant (阿羅漢) through diligent cultivation. That means they have freed themselves from the clutches of desires and would not no longer have to undergo reincarnation into this world of sufferings.
My Shifu believes in my potential.
During my early days of discipleship, I was like a Thomas Edison kid with ADHD. I had one million and one questions every time Shifu taught us disciples. We learnt mainly in a group setting.
We disciples came from all walks of life. Not everyone envision themselves to be a mini Shifu next time. Neither did I.
But Shifu taught each and every one of us with amazing dedication. Never once did he lose his temper with the dimmer ones nor did he ever give up on anyone.
I don't fit in well with the other disciples. Other than the Dharma and Chinese Metaphysics, nothing else in life interests me much. I rarely talk unless spoken to. Girls' talk bore me very much.
If it wasn't for Shifu's conviction in me, there would not be Ji Qian, the Feng Shui practitioner.
This is why I would never take on Shifu's clients, or any client that he disapproves of.
Some clients paid for Shifu's consultations and behind his back, they asked me more questions because of easier access to me (I reply to online messages while Shifu only takes calls.)
Don't know, just ask Shifu again. His skills are so divine. Why drag me in and settle for ikan bilis?
When you have only paid one fee, you can't be expecting two practitioners to serve you. #門都沒有
Shifu took refuge in our Root Guru on the 15th day of the 8th Lunar Month. He said he was reborn ever since he became a Buddhist. The full moon on that day was a indication of his future, beautiful and accomplished.
Life before that, he laughed, was a blur of mistakes and misses.
It's very hard to get a "birthday gift" for a great teacher who has almost everything.
I watched snippets of this series on Facebook videos shared.
While it may not be fully historic, I think the unfaltering spirit and indomitable love of Buddha portrayed in this series makes a good gift to a Buddhist. #fingerscrossed
I am especially smitten with this year's Deepavali light up. I adore elephants not just because I revere Lord Ganesha, a God of Wealth and also a Dharma protector in Tibetean Buddhism. (He had blessed me greatly during my days of poverty.) But also for their symbolism of great wisdom and strength.
I hope this is a sign of me growing in wisdom and mental strength.
For believing in me more than I believe in myself,
For never believing the naysayers when they disagree with you,
For showing me the Way out of this Samsara,
While I often act like one, thank you for never treating me like a dumbo, 玳瑚師父 Master Dai Hu . 🙏
(And thank you to the Husband who braved the Friday madness with me. #notlikeyouhaveachoice #alsoyourShifu #haha)
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light bulb background 在 麥克韮啦 MikeGela Youtube 的最佳貼文
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References:
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2. Bargh JA, Chen M, Burrows L. Automaticity of Social Behavior: Direct Effects of Trait Construct and Stereotype Activation on Action. J Pers Soc Psychol. 1996;71:230–44.
3. Guéguen N. Courtship compliance: The effect of touch on women’s behavior. Soc Influ. 2007;2:81–97.
4. Crusco AH, Wetzel CG. The Midas Touch: The Effects of Interpersonal Touch on Restaurant Tipping. Personal Soc Psychol Bull. 1984;10:512–7.
5. Fisher JD, Rytting M, Heslin R. Hands Touching Hands : Affective and Evaluative Effects of an Interpersonal Touch. Sociometry. 1976;39:416–21.
6. Morhenn VB, Park JW, Piper E, Zak PJ. Monetary sacrifice among strangers is mediated by endogenous oxytocin release after physical contact. Evol Hum Behav. 2008;29:375–83.
7. Holt-Lunstad J, Birmingham W, C Light K. Influence of a “Warm Touch” Support Enhancement Intervention Among Married Couples on Ambulatory Blood Pressure, Oxytocin, Alpha Amylase, and Cortisol. Psychosom Med. 2008;70:976–85.
8. STOCK S, UVNÄS‐MOBERG K. Increased plasma levels of oxytocin in response to afferent electrical stimulation of the sciatic and vagal nerves and in response to touch and pinch in anaesthetized rats. Acta Physiol Scand. 1988;132:29–34.
9. Handlin L, Hydbring-Sandberg E, Nilsson A, Ejdebäck M, Jansson A, Uvnäs-Moberg K. Short-term interaction between dogs and their owners: Effects on oxytocin, cortisol, insulin and heart rate-an exploratory study. Anthrozoos. 2011;24:301–15.
10. Chartrand TL, Bargh JA. The Chameleon Effect: The Perception-Behavior Link and Social Interaction Tanya. J Pers Soc Psychol. 1999;76:893–910.
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Credits:
Oxytocin molecule structure: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxytocin
Confused man:
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Light bulb:
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Librarian:
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Dance invitation:
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A guy asking for number:
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Baby mirroring:
https://haven.ca/stay-connected/news/power-direct-mirroring
Obama mirroring:
http://www.thriveafterabuse.com/red-flag-4-mirroring/
Mirror neuron:
http://jonlieffmd.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/mirror_neuron.jpg
Child imitating parent:
https://www.delawareshc.org/talking-begins-with-imitation/
One Direction dancing:
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/18/one-direction-dance-gifs_n_4461463.html
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