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How to Have God’s Faith

“Jesus replied, “Let the faith of God be in you! Listen to the truth I speak to you: If someone says to this mountain with great faith and having no doubt, ‘Mountain, be lifted up and thrown into the midst of the sea,’ and believes that what he says will happen, it will be done.” (Mark‬ ‭11:22-23‬ ‭TPT‬‬)

In the passage above, Jesus said the “faith of God” and not “faith in God”. If we want to perform mighty miracles like casting a mountain into the sea, we will need to receive God’s own faith.

“For I say, through the grace that was given me, to every man who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think reasonably, as God has apportioned to each person a measure of faith.” (Romans‬ ‭12:3‬ ‭WEB‬‬)

You see, there is the measure of faith that God already gave to us in the past, and also God’s own faith that He gives to believers at appointed timings.

The former is the one that we keep free from unbelief through daily renewing of the mind, while the latter is more powerful because it is pure and guaranteed to mightily prosper in its intended purpose.

“But to each one is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the profit of all. For to one is given through the Spirit the word of wisdom, and to another the word of knowledge, according to the same Spirit; to another faith, by the same Spirit; and to another gifts of healings, by the same Spirit; and to another workings of miracles; and to another prophecy; and to another discerning of spirits; to another different kinds of languages; and to another the interpretation of languages. But the one and the same Spirit produces all of these, distributing to each one separately as he desires.” (1 Corinthians‬ ‭12:7-11‬ ‭WEB‬‬)

Faith is one of the manifestations of the Holy Spirit. He distributes this “faith of God” at times. Every believer can receive this.

To understand when this God-faith comes, we have to know the delivery system:

“Faith, then, is birthed in a heart that responds to God’s anointed utterance of the Anointed One.” (Romans‬ ‭10:17‬ ‭TPT‬‬)

Many English Bible translations do a poor job of translating the verse above. They stray from the original Greek meaning. However, I like the translation I quoted above.

The words translated as “anointed utterance” in Greek is “rhematos” which means “a spoken word”. “The Anointed One” is Christou, which is Christ.

“Rhematos Christou” is not referring to God’s written Scriptures in general. That one would be the logos word, or “what God has said before”. The rhema word is talking about what Christ is currently actively saying to you through His Spirit inside you.

When Jesus speaks a rhema word to you, it carries God’s authority. When you hear and act upon that word, the “faith of God” is imparted to you for mighty power to be released. This is when miracles and breakthroughs flow.

Let us see this in action:

“Peter answered him and said, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the waters.” He said, “Come!” Peter stepped down from the boat, and walked on the waters to come to Jesus.” (Matthew‬ ‭14:28-29‬ ‭WEB‬‬)

Jesus said “Come,” and this rhema word carried the authority for Peter to transcend the natural laws of nature. When Peter heard the command and acted upon it, the “faith of God” was imparted to him, empowering him to walk on the waters.

You may be surprised by this, but even Jesus depended on the rhema word from His Father during His earthly ministry.

“Jesus therefore answered them, “Most certainly, I tell you, the Son can do nothing of himself, but what he sees the Father doing. For whatever things he does, these the Son also does likewise. For the Father has affection for the Son, and shows him all things that he himself does. He will show him greater works than these, that you may marvel.” (John‬ ‭5:19-20‬ ‭WEB‬‬)

Before doing any miracle, Jesus first received the rhema word from the Father, and He simply obeyed, acting upon what the Father showed Him.

When Jesus acted upon the rhema word, God’s power flows because the authority, faith, and will of God are working in perfect synergy.

It is therefore most crucial that we ask the Lord to give us the rhema word for our situation. To receive it, you can calm your emotions and pray about your situation, listening in silence to see what the Holy Spirit brings to your attention.

Other than that, sometimes He uses your pastor or Christian friend to speak divinely inspired words to you. The Holy Spirit is the source of the rhema word. The way He delivers it isn’t the most important thing, so be open to however He chooses to convey the rhema word to you.

When it comes, grab hold of it in your heart, and act upon it, for it is the key to unlock God’s supernatural provision in your situation!

The 37 recorded miracles of Jesus Christ in the four gospels show us God’s heart of love and Grace towards us. As you explore them in “Messiah’s Miracles”, faith will arise in your heart to receive miraculous breakthroughs in your own life: https://bit.ly/messiahs-miracles

SOLAT SUNAT TAHAJJUD

بِسۡـــــــــمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحۡـمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِـــــــيمِ

اَللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ وَسَلِّمْ عَلَى سَيِّدِنَا مُحَمَّدٍ
...Continue ReadingPRAYER OF TAHAJJUD CIRCUMSTANCES

Allah is the Most Merciful of the Merciful

O Allah, blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad

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The first time in my life doing Tahajjud Prayer was when I was 41 years old. How ignorant I was at that time.

But Alhamdulillah for those who haven't done it yet, there's still a chance to do. While we are still alive.

I have written this TAHAJJUD circumcision prayer repeatedly but I am not satisfied because I want all my friends to take the opportunity to do so.

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When I write this entry, it is in Ramadhan. Which we will wake up for sahur. So, take this opportunity to go for a prayer.

The best time to pray is a third night which is around 3 am.
(One night counts since Isyak time and ends at dawn. Meaning, 1 nights ~ 9 hours. So one third of those last nights were at 1.30 am to 4.30 am).

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Prayer of Tahajjud is a night prayer carried out after waking up, the afdal is made alone after midnight. This circumcision prayer is highly claimed and very well done as an additional worship. Rasulullah SAW and friends did not leave this prayer for the rest of their life.

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The Word of Allah SWT.:

′′ And at night pray for you as an additional worship for you; May your God lift you up to a place of praise."

(Surah Isra '; verse 79)

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Rasulullah SAW said: ′′ Do the night prayer because it is the habit of solihin before you, also a way to get closer to your God, also as the redeemer of all bad deeds, the preventer of sin and can prevent sickness from the body." (Tirmizi's history and Ahmad r.a.)

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Sunat prayer of tahajjud is encouraged to be established every night.

We pray for Isyak fardhu in the beginning of time with a bow and wake up then fast to sleep so that we can wake up in the middle of the night to perform the prayer of tahajj

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The law of prayer of tahajjud is the circumcision of muakkad - which is the practice of circumcision that is

Rasulullah SAW and friends never leave this prayer for their lifetime.

His own majesty has never left the prayer of Tahajjud circumcision even one night until both of his feet are swollen because of standing too much.

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His majesty said what it means;

′′ The most important prayer after the fardu prayer is the night prayer (tahajjjud prayer) ′′

- H. R Muslim

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Prayer of tahajjud circumcision is highly encouraged to be done together with prayer of repentance.

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TAHAJJUD PRAYER TIME.

Prayer of tahajjud circumcision is done at midnight, which is after 12 pm.

This time is after waking up from sleep in quiet condition when all other humans are sleeping well.

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The Word of Allah SWT:

O people who are blanketed! Wake up Tahajjud prayer at night, apart from a little time (which cannot be rested), which is half of the night, or lessen a little of the half, or more of the second and read the Quran slowly.

- Surah al-Muzzammil verse 1-4

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TAHAJJUD PRAYER GOAL

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- As a sign of slavery to Allah SWT.

- Closing a servant with his Creator

- Signs of human gratitude for the blessings of Allah SWT.

- Strengthening the soul and piety of a person to Allah SWT.

- Getting calm in facing challenges and challenges of life.

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HOW TO END TAHAJJUD PRAYER

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THE AMOUNT OF RAKAT

Prayer of Tahajjud is done without its rakaat, according to its ability and ability, with every two rakaat one greeting. If you feel heavy, you'll just have two rakaats but you'll be done continuously every night.

Rasulullah SAW has said,:

′′ The practice that is loved by Allah, is the continuous (persistence) even though a little."

(History by Bukhari and Muslim from Aisyah. )

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The implementation of this way of prayer for tahajjud prayer is the same as other circumcision prayers.

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1. BEFORE WORKING FOR TAHAJJUD PRAYER READ THE NEXT PRAYER:

There is no God but You, Glory to You! I ask for forgiveness from You for my sins and I ask You for Your Mercy. Oh my God! Add me knowledge and don't give my heart after You give guidance. And give me Your Mercy; Truly You are the one who bestows blessings! Praise be to Allah who has brought me alive and to Him is my return.
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2. INTENTIONS OF TAHAJJUD PRAYER:

(Ushalli sunnat tahajjudi rak 'ataini Lillahi ta' ala)

I pray for two rakaat Tahajjud circumcision, because of Allah Ta ' ala.

3. SURAH READING AFTER AL-FATIHAH:

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a)

First rakaat: Verse Al-Chair (7 times)

Second rakaat: Surah Al-Ikhlas (11 times)

Or;

b)

First rakaat: Ayat Al-Kaafirun

Second rakaat: Surah Al-Ikhlas

Or;

c)

The Last 10 Verse, Surah Al-Imran,.

(Rasulullah SAW often reads this on His Majesty's Tahajjud )

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The Advantages of TAHAJJUD PRAYER
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- Tahajjud is the most afdal prayer of circumcision.

- Prayers answered by Allah.

- Earning peace of soul.

- Feeling close to Allah SWT.

- Given privilege by Allah SWT.

- Get God's help and blessings.

- Beating the distractions and temptations of the devil.

- Prevent sin and avoid sickness.

- Becoming more disciplined in doing the task.

- Allah SWT makes it easy to receive the knowledge learned.

- Out of notes as a neglected group.

- Respected by the community and prevented from human envy.

- Allah SWT gives you lasting ease and sustenance.

- People praying for Tahajjud becomes the love of Allah SWT.

- Given a privilege that others don't get.

- Get the glory of Allah SWT in this world and the hereafter.

- Raise the dignity of a servant in the presence of Allah Azza Wa Jalla.

- Ease the reckoning in the afterlife and crossing Titian Siratal-Mustaqim.

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That's how the advantages of prayer sunat tahajjud which is fulfilled in prayer, calm heart and mind, easy fortune and receive protection from human betrayal.

The most important thing is this time the door of repentance is wide open.

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Rasulullah SAW said:

′′ Do the night prayer because it is the habit of solihin before you, also a way to get closer to your God, also as the redeemer of all bad deeds, the repellent of sin and can obstruct disease ′′

(The history of Tirmizi and Ahmad R. A)

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EASY TO WAKE UP NIGHT PRAYER
(I've written this before...)

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- Before going to bed, intend to do Tahajjud Prayer.

- Stay away from sin.

- Simple eating and drinking at noon.

- Reading the verses of the Quran.

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Rasulullah SAW said:

′′ Whoever wants to sleep and intends to rise up to perform the Tahajjud Circumcision Prayer, then sleep is too much until the morning, then the intention is recorded as a reward, while his sleep is considered as the gift of God given to him."

(The history of al-Nasa ' i and Ibnu Majah r.a.)

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According to Imam al-Ghazali, there are four reasons for the world and four spiritual reasons to help someone tahajjud.

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Because the world is:

- Avoid over eating and drinking that will only cause excessive sleep

- Don't explode with things that are not useful during the day.

- Sleeping for a while at noon which will help us for night prayers.

- No sin during the day which it may prevent us from performing tahajjud prayers

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Because of his spirituality is:

- To cleanse our hearts from any hate towards other Muslims.

- To always have fear in our hearts towards God and realize that our lives are very short.

- To understand the benefits of tahajjud.

- To love Allah, and have strong faith when we wake up the night prayer 'calling' Allah.

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FIVE REWARDS IN THE WORLD

1. Away From All Diseases

Salman Al-Farisi tells, Rasulullah SAW once said;

Do the night prayer, because it is the habit of the religious people before you, the way closer to God, the redeemer, the repellent of sin, and the preventer of disease."
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2. Blessed with the Impact on the Face

Have you seen the faces of worship members who practice night prayers?

Doesn't their faces look radiant and calm?

That's the proof of the gift that Allah gave him.

Not only that, by seeing their faces we feel happy and happy, even feel like seeing it many times.

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3. Loved By All Humans

Whoever practices night worship will surely be loved by every human being, let alone by Allah SWT.

That's the characteristics of those who believe and do good deeds with Allah will surely receive love from anyone.

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4. Conversations And His Acts Contains Wisdom (Wisdom)

Indeed, the characteristics of those who believe are those who keep their manners and speech.

This group certainly does not speak any neglect but their words are useful and wisdom.

As well as in deeds and actions of those who always try to stay away from things that neglect and race to do good that get closer to Allah SWT.

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5. Blessed With Strength And Fortune (Halal and Blessed)

By fulfilling every charity of worship to Allah SWT, no matter what his worship will surely be fulfilled with abundant provisions, such as good food, health, happy family and others.

Even every provision will be blessed by Allah SWT.



Peace, mercy and blessings of God be upon you

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Take a stand.
Once asked, many Allah brought.

Credit:
Dzuriasikim DzulkefliTranslated

My sister, Michelle-Ann Iking's 3% chance of conceiving naturally was a success! Here's her story:

(My apologies as I've been overwhelmed with personal matters. I've only managed to get to my desk. So finally got around posting this).

This is the story behind my sister's pregnancy struggle and how she shared her journey over her Facebook page.

Because some may have not caught her LIVE session chat with me (https://www.facebook.com/daphneiking/videos/687743128744960/) , or read her lengthy post (as it's a private page);
she's allowed me to copy and paste it over my wall, in case you need to know more about her thought process on how AND why she focused on the 3% success probability. Read on.

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Posted 10th May 2020.
FB Credit: Michelle-Ann Iking

A week ago today I celebrated becoming a mother to our second, long awaited child.

Please forgive this mother's LONG (self-indulgent) post, journalling what this significant milestone has meant for her personally, for her own fallible memory's sake as well as maybe to share one day with her son.

If all you were wondering was whether I had delivered and if mum and bub are OK, please be assured the whole KkLM family are thriving tremendously, and continue scrolling right along your Newsfeed 😁.

OUR 3% MIRACLE

All babies are miracles... and none more so than our precious Kiaen Aaryan (pronounced KEY-n AR-yen), whose name derives from Sanskrit origins meaning:

Grace of God
Spiritual
Kind
Benevolent

...words espousing the gratitude Kishore and I feel for Kiaen's arrival as our "3% miracle".

He was conceived, naturally, after 3 years of Kishore and I hoping, praying and 'endeavoring'... and only couples for whom the objective switches from pure recreation to (elusive) procreation will understand how this is less fun than it sounds ...

3 years during which time we had consensus from 3 different doctors that we, particularly I (with my advancing age etc etc) had only a 3% chance of natural conception and that our best hope for a sibling for our firstborn, Lara Anoushka, was via IVF.

Lara herself was an 'intervention baby', being one of the 20% of babies successfully conceived through the less intrusive IUI process, after a year and a half of trying naturally and already being told then my age was a debilitating factor.

We had tried another round of IUI for her sibling in 2017 when Lara was a year old. And that time we fell into the ranks of the 80% of would-be parents for whom it would be an exercise in futility... who would go home, comfort each other as best they could, while individually masking their own personal disappointment... hoping for the best, 'the next time around'...

So the improbability ratio of 97% against natural conception of our second baby, as concurred by the combined opinion of 3 medical professionals, was a very real, very daunting figure for us to have to mentally deal with.

Deep, DEEP, down in my heart however, though I had many a day of doubt... I kept a core kernel of faith that somehow, I would again experience the privilege of pregnancy, and again, have a chance at childbirth.

And so, the optimist in me would tell myself, "Well, there have to be people who fall in the 3% bucket... why shouldn't WE be part of the 3%?"

Those who know me well, understand my belief in the Law of Attraction, the philosophy of focusing your mind only on what you want to attract, not on what you don't want, and so even as Kishore and I prepared to go into significant personal debt to attempt IVF in the 2nd half of 2019, I marshalled a last ditch effort to hone in on that 3% chance of natural conception... through research coming across fertility supplements that I ordered from the US and sent to a friend in Singapore to redirect to me because the supplier would not deliver to Malaysia.

I made us as a couple take the supplements in the 3 month 'priming period' in the lead up to the IVF procedure - preconditioning our bodies for optimum results, if you will.

At the same time, I had invested in a sophisticated fertility monitor, with probes and digital sensors for daily tracking of saliva and other unmentionable fluid samples, designed to pinpoint with chemical accuracy my state of fertility on any given day.

(UPDATE: For those interested - I obtained the supplements and Ovacue Fertility Monitor from https://www.fairhavenhealth.com/. Though I had my supplies delivered to a friend in Singapore, and redirected to me here since the US site does not deliver to Malaysia, there are local distributors for these products, you will just have to research the trustworthiness of the vendors yourself...)

I had set an intention - in the 3 months of pre-IVF priming, I would consume what seemed like a pharmacy's worth of supplements, and track fertility religiously... in hopes that somehow, within the 3 month priming period, we would conceive naturally and potentially save ourselves a down payment on a new property... and this was just a projection on financial costs of IVF, not even considering the physical, emotional and mental toll it involves, with no guarantee of a baby at the end of it all...

It was a continuation of an intention embedded even with my first pregnancy, where all the big ticket baby items were consciously purchased for use by a future sibling, in gender neutral colours, in hopes that sibling would be a brother "for a balanced pair", though of course any healthy child would be a welcome blessing.

It was a very conscious determination to always skew my thoughts in service of what the end objective was. For example, when 3+year old Lara would innocently express impatience at not yet having a sibling, at one point suggesting that since we were "taking too long to give her a baby brother/sister", perhaps we should just "go buy a baby from a shop", instead of getting defensive or berating the baby that she herself was, we enlisted Lara's help to pray for her sibling... so in any place of worship, or sacred ground of any kind that we passed thereon, Lara would stop, close her eyes, bow her small head and place her tiny hands together in prayer, reciting earnestly, "Please God, please give me a baby brother or baby sister."

After months and months of watching Lara do this, in the constancy of her childlike chant, Kishore started feeling the pressure of possibly disappointing Lara if her prayer was not answered. Whereas for me, Lara's recitation of her simple wish became like a strengthening mantra, our collective intention imbued with greater power with each repetition, and the goal of a sibling kept very much in the forefront of our minds (hence our calling Lara our 'project manager' in this endeavour).

And somehow in the 2nd month of that 3 month period, a positive + sign appeared on one of the home pregnancy tests I had grown accustomed to taking - my version of the lottery tickets others keep buying in hopes of hitting the jackpot, with all the cyclical anticipation and more often than not, disappointment, that entails...

This time however I was not disappointed.

With God's Grace, (hence 'Kiaen', a variation of 'Kiaan' which means 'Grace of God'), my focus on our joining the ranks of the 3% had materialised.

It seems poetic then, that Kiaen chose to make his appearance on the 3rd May, ironically the same date that his paternal great-grandfather departed this world for the next... such that in the combined words of Kishore and his father Kai Vello Suppiah,

"The 1st generation Suppiah left on 3rd May and the 4th generation Suppiah arrived on 3rd May after 41yrs...
One leaves, another comes, the legacy lives on..."

***

KIAEN AARYAN SUPPIAH'S BIRTH STORY

On Sunday 3rd May, I was 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant.

The baby was, in my mind, very UN-fashionably late past his due date of 29th April, so as much as I had willed and 'manifested' the privilege of pregnancy, to say I was keen to be done with it all was an understatement.

In the weeks leading to up to my full term, I had experienced increasingly intense Braxton-Hicks 'practice contractions' - annoying for me for the discomfort involved, stressful for Kishore who was on tenterhooks with the false alarms, on constant alert for when we would actually need to leave home for the hospital.

Having become a Hypnobirthing student and advocate from my first pregnancy with Lara, and thus being equipped with
(1) a lack of fear about childbirth in general and
(2) a basic understanding of how all the sensations I would experience fit into the big picture of my body bringing our baby closer to us,
I was less stressed - content to wait for the baby to be "fully cooked" and come out whenever he was ready... though I wouldn't have minded at all if the cooking time ended sooner, rather than later.

With Lara, I had been somewhat 'forced' into an induced labour, even though she was not yet due, and that had resulted in a 5 DAY LABOUR, a Birth Story for another post, so I was not inclined to chemically induce labour, even though I was assured that for second time mothers, it would be 'much faster and easier'...

That morning, I had a hunch *maybe* that day was the day, because in contrast to previous weeks' sensations of tightening, pressure and even spasms that were concentrated in the front of my abdomen and occasionally shot through my sides and legs, I felt period - like cramping in my lower back which I had not felt before throughout the pregnancy.

It was about 8am in the morning then, and my 'surges' were still relatively mild ('surges' being Hypnobirthing - speak for 'contractions', designed to frame them with the more positive connotations needed to counteract common language in which childbirth is presented as something that is unequivocally painful and traumatic, instead of the miraculous, powerful and natural phenomenon it actually is).

I recall (masochistically?) entertaining the thought of opting NOT to have an epidural JUST TO SEE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE...

I figured this would be the last time I would be pregnant and so it would be my 'last chance' to experience 'drug free labour' which, apart from the health benefits for baby and mother, might be *interesting* in a way that people who are curious about what getting a tattoo and skydiving and bungee jumping are like, might find these *interesting*...even knowing there will be pain and risk involved...

Since I have tried tattoos and skydiving (unfortunately not being able to squeeze in bungee-jumping while my life was purely my own to risk at no dependents' possible detriment) a similar curiousity about a no-epidural labour was on my mind...

In the absence of other signs of the onset of labour (like 'bloody show' or my waters breaking), I wanted to wait until the surges were coming every few minutes before we actually left the house for the hospital, not wanting to be one of those couples who rushed in too early and had interminable waits for the next stage in unfamiliar, clinical surroundings and/or were made to go home in an anti-climatic manner.

I was even calm enough through my surges to have the presence of mind to wash and blowdry my hair, knowing if I did deliver soon I would not be allowed this luxury for a while.

Around 9am I asked Kishore to prep for Lara and himself to be dressed and breakfasted so we could head to hospital soon, while I sent messages to family members on both sides informing them 'today might be the day.'

My mother, who had briefly served as a midwife before going back into general nursing and then becoming a nursing tutor, prophetically stated that if what I was experiencing was true labour, "the baby would be out by noon".

The pace in which my surges grew closer together was surprisingly quicker than I expected; and while I asked Lara to "Hurry up with breakfast" with only a tad more urgency than we normally tell her to do, little Missy being prone to dilly-dallying at meals, I probably freaked Kishore out when about 930am onwards, I had to instinctively get on my hands and knees a couple of times, eyes closed, trying to practice the Hypnobirthing breathing techniques I had revised to help along the process of my body birthing our child into the world.

I recall him saying a bit frantically as I knelt at our front door, doubled over as he waited for Lara to complete something or other, "Lara hurry up! Can't you see Mama is in so much pain and you are taking your own sweet time??!!"

SIDETRACK: Just the night before, Lara and I had watched a TV show in which a woman gave birth with the usual histrionics accompanying pop culture depictions of labour.

Lara watched the scene, transfixed.

I told her, simply and matter-of-factly, "That's what Mama has to do to get baby brother out Lara, and that's what I had to do for you also."

In most of interactions with my daughter, I have sought to equip her to face life's situations with calmness, truthful common sense, and ideally a minimum of drama.

Those who know the dramatic diva that Lara can be will know that this is a work-in-progress, but her response to me that night showed me some of my 'teachings' were sinking in:

She looked at me unfazed, "But Mama," she said. "You won't cry and scream like that lady, right? You will be BRAVE and stay calm, right?"
#nopressure.

So as we prepped to leave for the hospital I did indeed attempt to be that role model of calm for her, asking her only for her help in keeping very quiet,
"Because Mama needs to focus on bringing baby brother out and she needs quiet to concentrate...".

As we left the house at 10.11am, I texted Kishore's sister Geetha to please prep to pick up Lara from the hospital, and was grateful Kishore had the foresight to ask our gynae to prepare a letter for Geetha to show any police roadblocks between my in-laws' home in Subang Jaya and the hospital in Bangsar, this all happening under the Movement Control Order (MCO).

To Lara's credit, in the journey over to the hospital, she - probably sensing the gravity of the situation, sat very quietly in her seat at the back, and the silence was punctuated only by my occasional deep intakes of breath and some variation of my Ohmmm-like moans when the sensations were at their height.

By the time we got to Pantai Hospital at around 10.30am, my surges were strong enough I requested a wheelchair to assist me in getting to the labour ward, as I did not trust my own legs to support me... and Kishore would have to wait until Geetha had arrived to take Lara back to my in-laws' house before he himself could go up.

I slumped in the wheelchair and was wheeled up to the labour room with my eyes closed the whole time, trying to handle my surges.

I didn't even look up to see the attendant who pushed me... but did make the effort to thank him sincerely when he handed me over, with what seemed like a palpable sense of relief on his part, to the labour ward nurses.

The nurse attending me at Pantai was calm, steady and efficient. I answered some questions and changed into my labour gown while waiting for Kishore to come up, all the while managing the increasingly intense surges with my rusty Hypnobirthing breathing techniques.

By the time Kishore joined me at around 11am (I know these timings based on the timestamps of the 'WhatsApp live feed' of messages Kishore sent to his family), I was asking the nurse on duty, "How soon can I get an epidural??" thinking what crazy woman thought she could do this without drugs???!!!

The nurse checked my cervix dilation, I saw her bloodied glove indicating my mucous plug had dislodged, and she told me, "Well you are already at 7cm (which, for the uninitiated, is 70% of the way to the 10cm dilation needed for birthing), you are really doing well, if you made it this far without any drugs, if can you try and manage without it... I suspect within 2 hours or less you will deliver your baby and since it will take about that time for the anaesthesiologist to be called, epidural to be administered and kick in... it might all be for nothing... but of course the decision is completely up to you... "

So there I was, super torn, should I risk the sensations becoming worse... or risk the epidural becoming a waste?? And of course I was trying to decide this as my labour surges were coming at me stronger and stronger...

I was in such a dilemma...because as a 'recovering approval junkie' there was also a silly element of approval-seeking involved, ("The nurse thinks I can do this without drugs... maybe I CAN do this without drugs... Yay me!") mixed with that element of curiosity I mentioned earlier ("What if I actually CAN do this without drugs... plenty of other women have done it all over the world since time immemorial.. no big deal, how bad can it be...??") so then I thought I would use the financial aspect to be the 'tiebreaker' in my decision making...

I asked the nurse how much an epidural would cost and when she replied "Around MYR1.5k", I still remember Kishore's incredulous face as I asked the question, i.e."Seriously babe, you are gonna think about money right now? If you need the epidural TAKE IT, don't worry about the money!!!"... and while we are not rich by any stretch of the imagination, thankfully RM1.5k is not a quantum that made me swing towards a decision to "better save the money"...

So in the end, I guess my curiosity won out, and I turned down the epidural "just to see what it would be like and if I had it in me" (in addition of course to avoiding the side effects of any drugs introduced into my and the baby's body).

My labour occuring in the time of coronavirus, it was protocol for me to have a COVID19 test done, so the medical staff could apply the necessary precautions. I had heard from a friend Sharon Ruba that the test procedure was uncomfortable, so when the nurse came with the test kit as I was starting another surge, I asked, "Please can I just finish this surge before I do the test?" as I really didn't think I could multitask tackling multiple uncomfortable sensations in one go.

The COVID19 test involved what felt like a looong, skinny cotton bud being inserted into one nostril... I definitely felt more than a tickle as it went in and up, being told to take deep breaths by the nurse. Then she asked me to "Try to swallow" and I felt it go into my nasal cavities where I didn't think anything could go any further, but was proven wrong when she asked me to swallow again and the swab was probed even deeper. Then she warned me there would be some slight discomfort as she prepared to collect a sample... but at that point all I could think about was:

(i) I really don't have much of a choice
(ii) please let this be over before my next surge kicks in
(iii) if all the people breaking the MCO rules knew what it feels like to do this test maybe they won't put themselves at risk of the need to perform one...

In full disclosure as I was transferred into the actual delivery room at some point after 11am, another nurse offered me 'laughing gas' to ostensibly take some of the edge off... I took the self-operated breathing nozzle passed to me but don't recall it making any difference to my sensations..so didn't use it much as it seemed pretty pointless.

I recall some measure of relief when I heard my gynae Dr. Paul entering the room, greeting Kishore and me, and telling us it was going well and it wouldn't be long now and he would see us again shortly.

From my previous labour with Lara I knew the midwives pretty much take you 90% of the way through the labour and when the Dr is called in you are really at the home stretch, so was very relieved to hear his voice though knowing he would leave and come back later meant it wasn't quite over yet.

I do remember realising when I had crossed the Thinning and Opening Phase of labour to the Birthing Phase, by the change in sensations... it is still amazing to me that as the Hypnobirthing book mentioned, having this knowledge I was instinctively able to switch breathing techniques for the next stage of labour .

Was my opting against epidural the right choice for me?

Overall? Yes.

Don't get me wrong.

I *almost* regretted the decision several times during active labour... especially when I felt my body being taken over by an overwhelming compulsion to push that did not seem conscious and was accompanied by involuntary gutteral moans where I literally just thought to myself, "I surrender, God do with me what you will..." (super dramatic I know but VERY real at the time...).

I think I experienced 3-4 such natural explusive reflexes (?), rhythmically pushing the baby down the birth path, one of which was accompanied by what felt like a swoosh of water coming out of a hose with a diameter the size of a golf ball... this was when I realised my water had finally broken...

The nurses kept instructing me to do different things, to keep breathing, to move to my side, then to move to the middle, to raise my feet... and when I didn't comply, Kishore (who was with me throughout both my labours) tried to help them by repeating the instructions prefaced with "Sayang..." but I basically ignored all the intructions because I felt I had no capacity to direct any part of my body to do anything and someone else would have to physically manoeuvre that body part themselves.

When I heard Dr. Paul's voice again and the flurry of commotion surrounding his presence, I knew the time was close... and when I heard the nurse say to Kishore, "Sir, these are your gloves, for when you cut the baby's cord", it was music to my ears...

I'm very, VERY grateful Kiaen slid out after maybe the 4th of those involuntary pushes... the wave of RELIEF when he came out so quickly... it still boggles my mind that my mother was essentially right and as his birth time was 12.02pm, it was *only* about 1.5 hours between our arrival at the hospital and his arrival into the world.

Kiaen was placed on my chest for skin to skin bonding and remained there for a considerable time.

For our short stay in the hospital he would be with us in my maternity ward number C327... another trivially serendipitous sign for me because he was born on the 3rd (May) and our wedding anniversary is 27th (July).

I was discharged the following day 4th May at about 5.30pm, after I got an all clear on COVID19 and a paediatric surgeon did a small procedure on Kiaen to address a tongue-tie that would affect his breastfeeding latch... making the entire duration of our stay about 31 hours.

I have taken the time and effort to record all this down so that whenever life's challenges threaten to get me down I can remind myself, "Ignore the 97% failure probability, focus on the 3% success probability".

Also that the human condition is miraculous and it is such a privilege to experience it.

To our son Kiaen Aaryan, thank you for coming into our lives and choosing us as your parents.

Even though Papa and I are both zombies trying to settle into a night time feeding routine with you, I look forward to spending not only all future Mother's Days, but every day, with you and your Akka...

And last but not least, to my husband Kishore...without whom none of this would be possible - we did it sayang, I love you ❤️

Photo credit: Stayhome session with Samantha Yong Photography (http://samanthayong.com/)

歡迎光臨~我是樂筆！

不知道大家對婚姻的想法是什麼？先看年齡與外貌？再來房有車？在一起互相取暖，哪天一言不合隨時可以打包走人？

愛是一種感覺，還是愛可以是一種決定？

其實婚姻是盟約，不是契約：「契約」載明雙方要履行的條件，如果不能做到，就可以終止契約；但「盟約」是份深情的承諾，不論颳風下雨、生老病死，我們永遠彼此相愛、一起共度難關。

愛是「1+1大於2」不是一定要有你，但有你的人生更好。
愛也是「0.5+0.5=1」我們學習給予、付出，甚至彼此犧牲，所以才完全。

認識Hibbii的過程很妙，在網路上。他是非常熱情主動、貼心又細膩的姐姐，謝謝他來「歡迎光臨」分享身為初戀未婚妻的真實故事！(節目播出時變成已婚人妻了)

或許現在的你不一定有經歷，但永遠要相信！你是被愛的！
祝福大家都成為「對的人」！

Welcome to Sunlight~
What do you think about marriage? Consider age and appearance first? House and cars go second? Being in a relationship when you're in need, and whenever you disagree with each other, you end it?
Is love a kind of feeling or love can be a decision?
In fact, marriage is not a contract but a covenant. Contract states and explains a formal agreement between two different people. If one doesn't perform, the other can terminate.
On the other hand, covenant is an affectionate promise. It means that no matter what happens, we love each other forever and weather the storm together.
Love is "1+1 greater than 2", meaning that I don't need to be with you, but my life will be better because of you.
Love is also "0.5+0.5=1". We learn giving and sacrificing, so that we can fulfill each other.
It's amazing to get acquainted with Hibbii online. She's extremely enthusiastic, positive, thoughtful and attentive.
So grateful she comes and shares her real story as fiancée of her first love! (She has been a wife when the program aired)
You might not know much about that, but you should believe that you're beloved all the time!
Hope you become Mr. or Miss Right!

📁節目收聽方式：
Apple Podcast、KKBOX、Spotify、SoundOn 🔍歡迎光臨

- - -

✒️Facebook：https://www.facebook.com/sunlightpen007/
✒️Instagram：https://www.instagram.com/sunlight007_/​​
✒️合作邀約：hisunlight007@gmail.com

- - -

主持人兼編輯 Host/Editor/：樂筆
剪接師 Sound Editor：Papa.H
翻譯 Translator：Youli

I’m back with a Tina Tries It episode on the new Fenty Hydrating Foundation, Primer and MVP Brow pencil. How does it perform on combination skin? Watch to find out.

This video is in partnership with Dermalogica. I’ve been using their Biolumin-C serum for almost a year now and it’s great for fading spots, acne scars as well as even out skin tone. You can get it from Mecca here http://bit.ly/2ml1o5f

Subscribe to my channel and join the family! ? https://bit.ly/2JFCtDr

_______________________
Products Used:
Fenty Beauty:
Pro Filt’r Hydrating Primer https://shopstyle.it/l/7X2E
Pro Filt’r Instant Retouch Primer https://shopstyle.it/l/7X6L
Pro Filt’r Hydrating Foundation #200 https://shopstyle.it/l/7X6K
Brow MVP Pencil https://shopstyle.it/l/7X6O

Skin Prep:
Tatcha The Essence https://shopstyle.it/l/7X6O
Dermalogica Biolumin-C Serum http://bit.ly/2ml1o5f
Olay Regenerist Whip Moisturiser https://shopstyle.it/l/7X2G
Ole Henriksen Banana Bright Eye Creme https://shopstyle.it/l/7X6T

Makeup:
Benefit Boi-ing Cakeless Concealer #3 https://shopstyle.it/l/7X6W
Tarte Shape Tape Powder https://shopstyle.it/l/7X6Y
16 Brand Contour Shading Almond http://shrsl.com/1tbzq
Jackie Aina X ABH Eyeshadow Palette https://shopstyle.it/l/7X2K
Colourpop Eyeliners https://colourpop.com
Petite Cosmetics Drama Lashes https://petitecosmetics.com/collections/new-styles/products/drama
BH Cosmetics Run Wild Palette (get 10% off with code TINA)
https://www.bhcosmetics.com/products/run-wild-by-tina-yong?nosto=categorypage-nosto-2
MAC Hip n Happy Lip Liner
Fenty Beauty Gloss Bomb in Fussy https://shopstyle.it/l/7X7d


Earrings im wearing:
https://markandscribe.com/collections/earrings/products/star-drop-hoop-earrings-gold
________________________

? EQUIPMENT I USE ?
Microphone: Rodelink Wireless http://amzn.to/2b9lglt
Lighting: Aputure Lightstorm 120D https://amzn.to/2GTiTyX
Soft Box: Aputure Light Dome https://amzn.to/2ED9gT2
Camera: Canon 80D https://amzn.to/2GQuHWK
Canon G97X Mark II http://amzn.to/2fV1drX
Canon 24-70mm Lens 2.8 http://amzn.to/2b9lqcD
Editing Program: Adobe Premier Pro CC

Music from Artist.io https://artlist.io/Alfred-8731


#FentyBeauty #FentyFoundation #TinaTriesIt

**Disclaimer: This video is sponsored by Dermalogica. Some of the links provided above are affiliate links meaning I do make a small commission when you purchase using the link. This does not cost you extra. You can also purchase from the brand’s websites so don’t feel obliged to use my link if you don’t want to. Thanks for all your support! xx

Ryoji Orihara
Fretless bass player in Japan.
Rarity players specializing in fretless bass.

https://orioriori.exblog.jp

Started installation work called "BGA (BackGround Ambient) “Toumei na Kagu" from 2010.

“Toumei na Kagu", meaning “Impalpable Furniture".

is an expression with the concept of

- Not background music　
- Not a concert　
- Not heat up.

In recent years, this activity has also increased.

Ryoji Orihara is looking for a performance request for BGA (Back Ground Ambient) "Toumei na Kagu".
There are various places where you can perform.
Shops (coffee shop, hotel, massage shop, spa, body preparation etc),
Event,
We are looking for various ideas.

ryoji orihara@gmail.com


織原良次／Ryoji Orihara
Fretless bass
三田村亮／Ryo Mitamura
Shooting
織原鉄工／Orihara Tekkou
Location
Saitama Japan

『BGA(Back Ground Ambient)透明な家具』は、無形のインテリアである。

https://orioriori.exblog.jp/28187617/

『BGA(Back Ground Ambient)透明な家具』は

〇ＢＧＭではない
楽曲を演奏することはありません。
長時間の受動的なパフォーマンスにより各シチュエーション特有の表情が生まれます。

〇ライブではない
メイン・アクトとしては成立しません。
漠然とある、透明なインテリアのようなものです。

〇盛り上がらない
盛り上がりません。


無形のインテリアとしての『透明な家具』をお楽しみください。


織原良次はBGA(Back Ground Ambient)透明な家具のパフォーマンスする場所、
お店(喫茶店、ホテル、マッサージ店、スパ、整体など)、
イベント、
各種アイデアを募集しています。
お気軽にオファー、ご提案などお待ちしております。

ryoji orihara@gmail.com

©2010-2019 BGA(Back Ground Ambient)透明な家具