Saya sedang dalam bilik bersama anak yang kecil apabila terdengar Ayyash sedang mencari sesuatu. Dia bertanya pada ayahnya,
"Cuba tanya ibu mana ibu simpan."
"Iiibuuu..!"
Ayyash baru mula mahu melaung dari luar sebelum dihentikan ayahnya.
"Jangan bercakap macam tu dengan ibu. Pergi dekat ibu, tanya elok-elok."
Langsung saya teringat sesuatu yang saya baca daripada buku Raising Boys oleh Steve Biddulph. Dalam buku tu tulis, orang pertama yang harus ajar anak lelaki menghormati orang perempuan ialah si bapa. Dia mengajarkan bagaimanakah cara yang sepatutnya bercakap dengan perempuan dengan cara mengajar anak lelaki beradab dengan ibunya.
"Don't speak to your mother in that tone of voice... or you'll have me to deal with."
Menurut penulis lagi, ramai lelaki yang tak memainkan peranan orang dewasa dalam keluarga. Tak kisahlah betapa hebat mereka di luar, CEO syarikat atau hero masyarakat, bila balik ke rumah mereka jadi 'one of the kids' yang perlu dilayan dan dimanjakan 😂.
Lagi teruk, dahlah dia tak membantu isteri mendidik anak-anak, dia pulak yang tolong back up anak-anak daripada mendengar dan patuh arahan-arahan ibunya.
"Awak ni asyik cari salah anak je."
"Dia kan kecik lagi, biarlah dia main. Dah besar nanti pandailah dia."
Ini ialah satu kesilapan besar. Tak kisahlah jika anda dan pasangan berbeza pendapat dalam mendidik dan mendisiplinkan anak, tapi di depan mereka anda dan pasangan perlu kelihatan dalam satu pasukan. If you are against your mother, you also have to deal with your father. Sebarang perbezaan perlu diselesaikan tanpa kehadiran anak-anak.
As quoted from the book,
'Women don't want another child for a husband, they want a man who stand beside them and help to work things out for the family.'
Get it?
Kredit : Liyana Nazli
I'm in the room with a little kid when I hear Ayyash looking for something. She asked her dad,
′′ Try to ask which mother does mother keep."
′′ Iiibuuu..!"
Ayyash just started to roar from outside before his dad stopped.
′′ Don't talk like that to mom. Go near mom, ask carefully."
I immediately remembered something I read from Steve Biddulph's Raising Boys book. In the book write, the first person to teach son to respect girls is father. She teaches how to talk to a woman by teaching a civilized son to her mother.
"Don't speak to your mother in that tone of voice... or you'll have me to deal with."
According to the author again, many men don't play the role of adults in the family. It doesn't matter how great they are outside, company CEO or community hero, when they return home they become ' one of the kid s' that needs to be treated and pampered 😂.
Even worse, he didn't help his wife to educate children, he was the one who helped back up the children instead of listening to and obedient to his mother's instructions.
′′ You keep looking for your child's fault."
′′ He's still small, let him play. When you grow up, you'll be smart."
This is a big mistake. It doesn't matter if you and your partner have different opinions in educating and disciplining your child, but in front of them you and your partner need to be seen in a team. If you are against your mother, you also have to deal with your father. Any difference needs to be solved without the presence of children.
As quoted from the book,
'Women don't want another child for a husband, they want a man who stand beside them and help to work things out for the family.'
Get it?
Credit: Liyana NazliTranslated
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