【值得紀念的對話💕】我鼓勵大家多啲同你個仔女 one-on-one 食飯/飲嘢, 建立習慣深層次傾下計。 關係真係完全唔同 ....
今日同我二女 Casey one-on-one brunch傾計, 三個女之中,佢最有生意頭腦,大家交流下生意經。(Note: 我強調我沒有偏心任何一個, 三個各有不同。 我只偏心我老婆😍😍) 。
佢同我講: 「香港都幾好呀,點解啲人要移民。 Candace (我大女) 好朋友 X 下星期就要移民去Toronto了,佢話佢parents 想去個新地方開始新生活。」
我同佢講: 「Casey, 你長大之後可以成為四種人:
(1) Employee (打份工),can be a small part of something very big big,但一樣可以好成功。好似林鄭/習近平/Donald Trump/Tim Cook 咁, 好有影響力或一樣賺好多錢。(Note: 我唔想講政治。)
(2) Self-Employed (自僱人士), 最穩定,因為無人可以炒你,專注地做好就有穩定收入 ,好似何老師(她上門的中文補習老師)咁,但手停就口停。 人老咗,時間就係敵人, 因為競爭力比後生的自然減低。
(3) Business Owner (生意老闆), 即係有本事就翹埋隻手唔使做,都有錢袋。回報可能是最高(回報 in terms of 金錢及滿足感),但風險最大, 分分鐘輸晒,一無所有。
(4) Investor (投資者), 即係好似 Uncle X 咁, 日日去唔同地方玩。但之前要賺到錢,做好準備,投資股票/地產或者其他產品,就乜都唔做都可以有$$回報,咁就有錢日日去 enjoy life。 不過唔好處就係好多人會失去靈魂, 好似對個世界冇乜貢獻咁。 爸爸/媽咪就做唔到呢類型人。 但Uncle X 都可能覺得我哋好傻,日做夜做唔知為乜。
「冇話對與錯,個個人唔同,你長大後要自己選擇你自己的路。」 但我話:「日後要移民的話,做第4最容易,去邊投資都得,第2難小小,但都ok,睇你做乜。第1會 downgrade (好似許冠傑首歌咁: 「...移民外國,做遞菜斟茶!」)。第3是最困難,新環境更難賺到錢。執笠多。」
她回答我:「我想做第三 (Business owner),因為我知道 Candace (家姐) 同 Carol (細妹)大個咗想做唱歌同藝術, 比較難搵到錢,我要賺多啲錢畀佢哋。」
我再同佢講: 「你望出個窗口外面, 其他世界地方我唔知,我只係講香港。你做生意,一定要問自己三樣嘢。.... 」
(1) 究竟個市場有幾大? 如果喺香港做舖/做地產, 你所有一幢幢見到嘅,都關你事。你做金融, 所有嘅錢都關你事。做寵物呢? 做遊艇呢? 做踩單車呢? 個市場可能細好多。
我同佢講:「做生意,盡量要做啲市場大嘅行業。」
(2) 班客人係唔係重複性購買,日日都幫襯你? 你見到嘅樓,日日都要交租。 你問人借錢,日日都要畀利息。 但如果你啱啱買嗰隻烏龜(昨日三姐妹買了三隻烏龜),需唔需要日日都買? 如果你做行山用品,需唔需要日日都買對鞋?
我同佢講:「做生意,盡量要做啲人客日日要畀錢嘅行業。」
(3) 你要知道時間係你朋友定敵人。 如果你做汽車生意,下面所有嘅汽車,十年後嘅今日,嗰啲車會貴啲定平啲? (佢回答平咗)。 如果你賣行山用品,嗰對鞋,10年後會平咗定貴咗? (佢回答平咗,因為有新嘅款式推出)。 但你見到前面棟大廈,10年後/100年後,會貴咗定平咗? (佢回答貴咗,因為都應該仲係道)
我同佢講:「做生意,盡量要做啲批貨會保值或者升值嘅行業。」
「如果做生意,你日後記住呢三樣嘢,再發揮你嘅創意,爸爸相信你會搵到好多錢! 」
A nice day conversation with my most special daughter - Casey.
大女 is my No. 1 daughter
二女 is my most special daughter (因為我都是排第二)
三女 is my most adorable daughter. 😍😍😍
#值得紀念的對話
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一封給國家地理頻道「Dog: Impossible」節目負責人的公開信:
An open letter to the leadership team of Nat Geo Wild Dog Impossible:
Translate: Yu-Hwa Su 翻譯: 蘇昱華
Proof: Yen Ke 校對: 葛雁
The International Association of Animal Behavior Consultants (IAABC) applauds National Geographic’s mission to offer intelligent, relevant and captivating non-fiction entertainment. This is a crucial objective, especially as an introduction to children and viewers largely relying on television for their scientific information.
國際動物行為諮詢師協會(IAABC)對於國家地理頻道致力於提供電視觀眾正確知識與科學內容表示讚賞。這是一個非常重要的目標,特別是對依賴電視得到這些知識的兒童與其他觀眾們來說。
However, your stated mission is in direct conflict with your show Dog: Impossible. In fact, the irresponsible treatment of the dogs and people on this show flies in the face of all best practices in animal training and behavior. Rather than promoting science and scientifically-proven methodology, Dog: Impossible sacrifices learning science for more dramatic television.
然而,貴頻道所提供的節目「Dog: Impossible」卻與貴頻道「提供正確的科學知識」的一貫立場衝突。節目中對犬隻以及飼主的不負責處理方式與應有的動物訓練及行為操作的準則相違背。「Dog: Impossible」並沒有提倡科學以及經科學驗證的方法,這節目犧牲了對科學的學習,轉而追求吸睛的電視節目效果。
Matt Beisner appears to have no credentials or education in training and behavior, yet he refers to himself as a behaviorist. His claim that “energy is the one language that every animal on the planet speaks” makes clear he is not one.
Matt Beisner並沒有動物訓練或行為學的相關學習經歷與證照,卻宣稱自己是一位行為學家。從他的主張:「能量是地球上所有動物都會使用的共通語言」,便能明白他並不是行為學家。
His statement, “You don’t need tricks, you don’t need treats, you don’t need force,” shows just how unaware of his own actions he is. His misuse of scientific terminology leads viewers to believe they are learning demonstrated, safe and accepted strategies in helping their dogs. In fact, Mr. Beisner is forcing these dogs from start to finish of each episode. His own “tricks” are that of over-stressing dogs until they’re in a state referred to in psychology and science as “learned helplessness.”
他主張「你不需要技巧、零食、或蠻力 (去訓練狗)」,這顯示出他對於自己的所做所為一無所知。他對科學術語的濫用也會誤導觀眾,讓觀眾以為他們正在學習經證實有效而且安全可接受的方法來幫助狗狗。但這位訓練師在每一集節目上從頭到尾都是在逼迫這些狗,而他所擁有的「技巧」,就是讓狗進入過度緊迫的狀態,直到牠們進入心理學和科學上所指的「習得無助」(learned helplessness)狀態。
Learned helplessness occurs when a subject endures repeated aversive stimuli beyond their control. Originally thought to show a subject's acceptance of their powerlessness, for more than half a century it’s been known instead to be the emotional “shutting down” of the subject. Anxiety, clinical depression, and related mental illnesses are common consequences of this technique in humans.
「習得無助」發生在動物沒有任何控制權,且重複地被施加嫌惡刺激的時候。最初,人們認為習得無助狀態意味著動物「接受」了自身無法改變、無能為力的情形,超過半個世紀以來,人們認為這是動物情緒「關機(shutting down)」的表現。在人類身上,習得無助的常見結果包含焦慮、憂鬱症、以及相關的心理疾病。
Allow us to note some aspects of the trailer and his shows, but first, to point out a few well-documented and commonly understood aspects of dog behavior so that we may better make our points understood.
在我們解釋為何我們認為此節目的預告片與內容不適當之前,我們希望先闡述一些正確的犬隻行為常識,以便您能更理解我們的觀點。
Canine body language indicating stress and severe stress:
顯示出壓力以及嚴重緊迫的犬隻肢體語言:
Compressed bodies
Dry, raspy panting
Wide, open eyes with dilated pupils
Heavy drooling
“Whipping” head and body back, pushing off a handler in order to get away
Growling
Fighting
Biting
縮緊身體
急促的喘氣
睜大雙眼、散瞳
大量流口水
甩頭、用前爪推抱著狗的人以退後、試圖掙脫
低吼
打架
開咬
Eleven seconds into the trailer, Mr. Beisner rubs his hands together, smiling, and says, “This is going to be gnarly.” All professionals know from that statement what the series will spotlight: A poorly (if at all) educated non-professional pushing dogs way beyond therapeutic limits, in the name of “results.”
在預告片11秒的地方,Beisner先生搓手並笑著說「等一下會很精采喔」。所有專業人士都知道這句話代表這個節目的亮點將會是:一名缺乏適當教育的訓練師,逼迫狗到超過其能承受的極限,並把這樣的結果稱為是良好的改善。
Flooding, the term for inundating a subject with their fears, phobias and triggers, is ethically questionable at best, cruel and unnecessary, always. There's also a common danger of spontaneous recovery of the phobia. This is because flooding doesn't replace the fear-response with a different response, it just replaces it with no response. “No response” is simply suppression, not cure.
「洪水法」,指的是故意將動物置於恐慌或恐懼的觸發刺激情境,這樣的方法不道德、殘忍、而且沒必要。另外,恐懼的自發性回復(spontaneous recovery)也是洪水法常見的風險,這是因為洪水法並沒有將害怕的反應重新制約成其他不同的情緒行為,它只是讓動物沒有反應。「沒有反應」只是壓抑,動物並沒有因此感到不害怕或恐慌。
Throughout the trailer dogs are flooded with aversive stimuli such as other dogs, people and equipment, something an ethical professional would not, and could not do per any answerable guidelines of animal training and behavior care.
在整個預告片中,狗狗被迫接受各種嫌惡刺激的洪水法訓練,例如其他狗、其他人類和物品,這是具有道德的專業訓練人員不會做的,任何負責任的動物訓練及行為照護準則也不會如此建議。
Systematic desensitization and counterconditioning, gradual exposure to the feared object, and replacement of a negative emotional association with a more pleasant one, are the recommended techniques used to treat such fear and aggression cases, per all legitimate veterinary, training and behavior organizations.
系統性減敏與反制約,也就是逐步與少量的讓狗接觸其本來會害怕的事物,並且將引發的少量負面情緒與其非常喜愛的事物配對給予,是用來處理恐懼及攻擊案例的建議方法,也是每個好的獸醫師、訓練及行為機構會推薦的方法。
Beisner’s statement that “We know at the Zen Yard that dogs help other dogs come out of their shell and face their fear and get past their aggression” isn’t just scientifically unsupportable, his words ring hollow during the very scene playing while he says those words: Beisner restraining one dog, while his co-host pulls a leashed dog to the first in a completely unnatural gesture perhaps intended to either mimic natural dog greeting (it doesn’t) or to flood the heavily drooling dog who is unable to move or get away. The dogs end up in a fight. They have been set up to fail, and the outcome is inevitable.
Beisner宣稱「我們在Zen Yard(他的訓練中心)知道狗會去幫助其他狗融入外界、面對牠們的恐懼並且克服攻擊行為」,這句話不只是缺乏科學支持,在影片中他講出這句話時搭配的畫面,亦表現出他的說詞缺乏支持:Beisner限制了第一隻狗的行動,由節目的共同主持人以牽繩將另一隻狗以一個完全不自然的姿勢拉到第一隻狗身邊,他們可能是在試著模仿狗狗自然的社交打招呼行為(但並不是),或使用洪水法訓練那隻狂流口水(顯示牠很緊張)並且無法逃脫的狗。最終兩隻狗打起來,訓練師製造的這個情境,讓失敗的結果無可避免。
In the trailer, the assistant host, Stefanie DiOrio, states, “Nervousness can easily turn to fear which can lead to aggression.” This is an accurate statement, which is why it’s so confusing that the entire show would be predicated on pushing dogs to the very edge of survivable stress and into predictable aggression, doubling down on the issues that their owners are struggling with.
在預告片中,節目的共同主持人Stefanie DiOrio說「緊張不安很容易變成真正的恐懼,並且導致攻擊行為」,這句話是正確的,但也讓人更加困惑為何整個節目的走向都在將狗推向牠們所能承受壓力的極限、觸發根本可預測的攻擊行為、並使飼主所面對的問題加倍惡化。
We know that the dramatic changes in behavior, from stressed and wildly aggressive to “calm” dogs, make for compelling TV. To an average pet owner it looks like these dogs are making huge improvements. All clients just want their dog to “Stop being aggressive.” However, we also know that behavior suppression is not the same as behavior modification, that a stressed and shut-down dog is a more dangerous animal than one who is actively showing aggression, and that the long-term prognosis of this kind of intervention is poor for both the client and their dog.
我們知道行為上戲劇性的變化,從一隻緊迫且兇猛攻擊的狗轉變成“冷靜”的狗,這個過程代表了高收視率,在不十分了解行為學的飼主眼中看來,這些狗狗似乎有巨大的進步。飼主都只是希望他們的狗「不要再有攻擊性」,然而我們也知道單純抑制攻擊行為的出現,並不是真正的行為改善技術。舉例來說一隻高壓力但看似沒有反應的狗,遠比一隻會表現出攻擊性的狗要危險許多 (譯註: 因為這樣的狗可能會沒有徵兆地開咬),因此這種抑制攻擊行為的訓練法,以長遠來看對飼主以及狗狗都是有害的。
It is also worth pointing out that, like his predecessor, Mr Beisner’s assessment of cause for much of the issues he’s asked to address is simple, made especially clear in episode 4 where he not only saves a dog, he “saves a marriage:” Women are unable to effectively lead, must be stronger, must change their ways.
另一個值得注意的事是Beisner先生,如同他在同一個頻道的前輩,西薩,對導致問題的原因評估也過於簡化,例如第四集中他聲稱他不只拯救了狗狗,他還「拯救了這段婚姻」,因為女主人無法有效的領導狗狗,因此她必須更堅強,必須改變他們之間的相處模式。
Misogyny, it seems, cures dog behavior problems. Real exploration and explanation regarding the antecedents and consequences around behaviors are ignored in favor of client blaming.
這段貶抑女性的解釋,看起來似乎能改善犬隻的行為問題,然而關於行為問題真正的前因後果卻被指責客戶所取代,並沒有真正的被探討與解釋。
The clients on the show represent thousands of clients throughout the US and beyond with whom we work every day, helping them to help their dogs. Far from being dogs “other people won’t work with,” the dogs on your show are exactly the clients and dogs that IAABC Certified Dog Behavior Consultants, as well as all members of the American College of Veterinary Behaviorists, Certified Applied Animal Behaviorists, and other certified behavior specialists see and successfully work with every day.
節目中所出現的客戶正代表了我們日常工作中所會幫助的人們與他們的狗,呈現的就是我們在美國跟其他國家的上千位客戶。節目中所出現的這些有著行為問題的狗絕對不是「其他訓練師都不想要處理的狗狗」,事實上這些客戶與狗正是IAABC認證的狗行為諮詢師、美國獸醫行為學家、認證的應用動物行為學家或是其他受認證的行為學專家,每天工作的日常。
We do so using the best practices of our field (see https://m.iaabc.org/about/ethics/), adopted by the leading behavior and training organizations, without psychologically or physically harming the animals we work with.
我們在這個領域也使用最嚴謹的訓練師專業道德守則(英文版參見https://m.iaabc.org/about/ethics/,中文版參見https://reurl.cc/72eVkl),這個守則受領先的行為及訓練機構所採用,使訓練師與行為諮詢師在工作時,不對我們經手的動物造成生理或心理上的傷害。
The IAABC urges Nat Geo WILD to stop promoting this public miseducation. The tactics employed in the name of entertainment are unnecessarily harsh and potentially dangerous to the public, and they teach yet another generation of Nat Geo watchers absolutely incorrect and harmful practices.
IAABC呼籲國家地理頻道(Nat Geo WILD)停止傳播此系列誤導公眾的資訊。以娛樂包裝節目的策略對於觀眾是不必要的粗糙而且有潛在風險的,甚至是向頻道的年輕一代觀眾灌輸完全不正確且有害的做法。
It remains a mystery why your network is so intent on harming dogs. After years of Cesar Milan, to now bring in a man equally unskilled, who equates terrified, angry or entrapped dogs to his own addiction history is remarkable. Are we really satisfied conflating ego with compassion, self-focus with an understanding of animal behavior? Is this the “science” your mission stands for?
我們仍然不知為何貴頻道這麼多年來如此堅持持續傷害狗的這些作為。在西薩 (Cesar Milan) 的節目播映多年之後,現在又引進一個同樣缺乏正確訓練技巧,以自身藥物成癮困擾歷史去錯誤的同理恐懼或憤怒的狗的人。我們能接受一個膨脹自我,而非真正擁有同情心、適當自我聚焦、了解動物行為的「專業人士」嗎?這就是貴節目所宣稱的「科學」立場嗎?
The damage Nat Geo is doing to dogs by choosing this type of programming is astounding. We can only assume that the producers are unaware of this, as it’s hard to imagine such harm and cruelty would be deliberate.
國家地理頻道選擇製作這類節目對於狗狗的傷害甚鉅,我們只能假定節目製作人並沒有意識到這點,因為我們難以想像會有人故意去做這樣有害且殘忍的事情。
Would you show a reality program on heart surgery with a photogenic “self-taught” practitioner, simply stating the star was not a doctor before showing him mutilating a real patient?
想問貴節目是否會採用一個上鏡的“自學”外科醫生錄製心臟手術的實境節目,告知觀眾他並非真正的醫生,然後播放他對病患動刀的畫面?
I leave you with the clearest image of suffering and abuse from your trailer: the Aussie, stressed to the breaking point, thick ropes of drool streaming from its mouth, being choked by a slip lead to compensate for the host’s inability to even effectively muzzle a dog. This dog is at the point of collapse. This dog is being tortured, and that is not hysteria. That is an assessment by any educated measure.
作為結尾,我希望指出貴節目預告片中明確顯示出狗狗受苦或受虐的畫面:那隻澳洲牧羊犬已經瀕臨壓力的極限,您可以看到口水掛在其嘴邊 (大量口水為壓力徵兆),口罩因為沒有確實的配戴而滑脫,導致牠被勒到快要窒息,已在崩潰邊緣。具備專業與適當教育的人員指出,這隻狗因在節目上被虐待而情緒崩潰,並非其本身歇斯底里。
Please stop this cruel and dangerous programming. To do otherwise is to support that self-taught heart surgery and all the consequences it would bring; that this show is currently bringing to families struggling with their dogs.
Professionals refer to Cesar Milan’s influence on dog training as “job security” because so many dogs ruined or made far worse by his teachings are brought to us by well-intentioned, often weeping owners desperate for real help. Often it is too late.
請停止這系列殘酷且危險的節目。否則貴節目就等同於支持前面舉例的自學的心臟外科「醫師」進行手術一樣,這些危險的後果正由觀眾與他們的狗承擔。專業訓犬人士將西薩米蘭對訓犬的影響戲稱為「工作保障」,因為太多飼主使用了他教授的技巧後,狗狗的狀況變得更糟,而哭著迫切尋找真正的協助,此時通常都為時已晚。
We do not want more work due to this same phenomenon.
我們不想要因為這個節目帶來類似影響而接到更多工作。
We’d be happy to provide you with any education and resources you need to inform your producers about what would qualify as responsible, effective, safe and thoughtful work with the same “red zone” dogs you sell so well.
但我們很樂意提供貴頻道任何需要的教育與資源,讓您們的節目製作人對訓犬工作應有的品質有所理解,例如負責、有效、安全,並且理解到對於在節目中出現的這些「危險」犬隻,事實上有更合理的訓練方法。
Thank you for your consideration.
謝謝您的閱讀與理解。
Marjie Alonso
Executive Director, IAABC
For the Board of Directors
Marjie Alonso
IAABC執行長
代表董事會發言
self employed中文 在 醜爸的父母成長教室 Facebook 的精選貼文
誰是醜爸?(未來business blog使用,這裡測試先~)
你可以這樣認識我…..
中央大學中文系+教育學程
美國北科羅拉多大學心理諮商研究所
美國丹佛大學會計研究所
曾任台灣世界展望會編輯採訪
津橋留學顧問公司美國部主管
及於美國科羅拉多州的中學及社區諮商中心全年實習
2008到2013,為全職學生及全職爸爸
現任自嗨「親職教練」(self-employed Parenting Coach)
要跟父母們一起成長,分享:
專業的心理衛生知識、技巧
及深刻的教養經驗
或者…..
不知幾歲起,我知道我可以幫助人。
從老師、心理諮商、直到今日決定成為一位親職教練,無數次的懷疑究竟自己能怎麼助人?憑什麼?值得嗎?
轉唸會計對我最大的影響,是換一個腦子看世界,把許多確定與不確定的,又重新想過一次。但在人生重新開機的過程中,始終沒有忘記:我可以幫助人。
親愛的主耶穌、楊總、三小,當然是開啟這一切的源頭;但有兩個人,你們都認識,也影響我很大。
我們常問,人生究竟是要去做最能幹的事?最有興趣的事?還是最重要的事?
Steve Jobs告訴我,去做你最想完成的事。
五年來,每天,從起床做早餐到把他們躺平,我學到最重要的一件事,就是家中不愉快的起因:
是父母,不是小孩。
這個覺悟推動我,要改變父母們的想法:抹去孩子在你腦中的一切缺點,只專注在讓你自己變得更好。
這是我要完成的事情。
======
曾非常疑惑,有多少父母勇於承認自己是問題的根源?有多少人願意投入自我成長的過程?這東西有市場嗎?做下去會有結果嗎?
Bill Gates告訴我,如果我們做的一切只是持續現在多數人從事的,那我們同時也在惡化從事那些事所產生的負面影響。創新的意義在於改變現況,而非只是被市場驅動。
如果「現在」沒有多少父母勇於承認自己是問題的根源,沒有多少人願意投入自我成長的過程,沒有市場,做下去沒有結果,
那就做吧。
你們好,我是醜爸。
(超級嫩咪再次現蹤!)
self employed中文 在 【ASMR中文福利】 不二丸叽透明丝袜+黑丝手套极品诱惑(耳 ... 的推薦與評價
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