關於 smart parenting facebook ，我們在網路上蒐集到這些相關的討論、資訊與評價

#讀者優惠 #75折
#文末送禮 #giveaway

小朋友近呢幾個月都要留喺屋企冇得返學🎒，學習機會自然少咗，所以我為囡囡準備咗好多活動教材📚，希望佢可以從玩樂中學習。

Jasmine最近好鍾意玩呢本Mommy’s Little Helper，10頁嘅主題活動可以讓小朋友知道如何幫媽媽手做家務👚，玩完之後仲可以實戰落手幫輕媽媽，如果唔係搗亂的話🤣

呢本書仔有多個主題包括綁鞋帶👟，準備早餐🍞，洗衫晾衫，焗數字曲奇🍪，佈置餐枱🍽，家庭成員👨‍👩‍👧‍👦等，可以增加小朋友嘅認知及自理能力。除此之外，魔術貼設計仲可以訓練到佢哋嘅小肌肉🖐🏻，令雙手更加靈活。

如果大家有興趣，可到 http://smarterconcepts.com.hk/product/mommys-little-helper/ 購買，輸入優惠碼 kathrynjasmine 更可享有75折優惠。

↫↫↫↫ jαsmínє & mαmα ↬↬↬↬

為咗答謝讀者們嘅支持，我都為大家爭取咗禮物，得獎者可獲得 Mommy’s Little Helper 1本，名額1位。

❤參加辦法：
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🎈多d喺唔同帖文同我互動會增加中獎機會架！

條款及細則：
1.截止日期：2020年6月20日
2.得獎名單會於2020年6月25日前在帖文底部公佈
3.每個Facebook登記帳戶只限參加一次
4.Jasmine & Mama 保留最終決定權
5.禮物會由品牌寄出

#布書 #mommyslittlehelper #教材 #活動教學 #自理能力 #認知 #smartmama #hkkids #hkblogger #親子活動 #親子 #parenting #kidsbooks

得獎名單公布：
Helen Tsui

Kesunyian Seorang Isteri

Assalamualaikum dan salam sejahtera. Sedikit intro tentang aku. Nama Zuana (of course bukan nama sebenar), umur awal 30an, berkahwin dan mempunyai 4 orang cahaya mata yang comel-comel bijak belaka. Aku berkahwin seusia awal 20an selepas degree dan menjadi surirumah sepenuh masa disebabkan suami tidak benarkan aku bekerja. Aku buat online business di rumah.

Masalah aku bermula sejak perkahwinan kami masuk tahun ke-7 which is past 3 4 year ago. Hubungan aku dengan suami agak rengang dimana aku pon tak tahu apa salah aku dengan dia. Puas aku ajak berbincang. Tapi, jawapan dia cuma “kita tak ada masalah untuk dibincangkan” sambil berlalu pergi. Apa masalah kami? Husband aku tidur ruang tamu. Kalau dia tidur dalam bilik, bila aku terjaga pukul 2 3 pagi, dia hilang. Tidur kat ruang tamu atau bilik anak. Bila tidur sekali, dia tak bagi aku sentuh dia. Dia letak bantal hadang antara kami berdua. Dalam kehidupan sehari-hari pon sebolehnya dia mengelak tak mau bersentuhan dengan aku. Kalau aku pegang dia atau peluk dia, dia tepis aku, dia tolak aku. Dia bagi la alasan tah hapa-hapa, nak pergi toilet laa, dia tengah berpeluh laa, dia nak minum air etc. Apa-apa alasan la asalkan dia jauh dari aku. Kalau dia tengah tengok tv, aku duduk sebelah dia, dia blah masuk bilik. Kalau aku masuk bilik, dia blah pergi tempat lain. Bersama?? Sebulan tak lebih 3 kali. Kadang sebulan sekali ja. Tu pon express. Pelik kan??

Selepas beberapa tahun, aku pon dah naik bosan dengan perangai dia. Ajak bincang macam cakap dengan dinding. Kalau aku luahkan perasaan, dia diam tak bersahut sambil buat muka seposen. Satu hari tu, aku dah puas nangis tiap kali masa solat masa tidur, aku cakap dalam hati, kalau ada memana lelaki tegur aku, memang aku akan layan. Sebelum ni ada ja yang masuk jarum, tapi aku tak layan. Aku seller online, ada ja customer atau stranger yang whatsapp, pm nak berkenalan bagai. Kawan sekolah, kawan u pon ada ja yang pm. Tapi, aku ignore sebab aku sedar diri, status aku sebagai isteri orang. Nak dijadikan cerita, aku layan facebook macam biasa. Aku memang suka part baca komen. Mana aku suka aku like atau letak emoticon.

Allah makbul agaknya doa aku. Tetiba ada sorang guy ni (Shah) pm aku sebab aku letak emoticon kelakar kat komen dia. Aku jawab biasa-biasa ja. Profile dia pon gambar tah sesapa. Tetiba dia masuk bab jaga pemakanan. Dia macam nak tuduh aku pakai product terlarang berdasarkan dia judge gambar profile aku. Kami berdebat. Tapi, dah natural aku jenis tak suka bergaduh, aku reply elok-elok la. Dari situ, tukar topic ke topic. Shah puji gambar profile aku comel. Korang boleh bayang tak?? Seorang isteri yang kesunyian. Tetiba ada lelaki lain puji comel (Berhari-hari aku sengih sensorang depan cermin bila terkenangkan dia puji aku). Dari hari pertama kami bermessage, aku bagitau status aku isteri orang. In fact, gambar profile aku pon dengan dua orang anak aku. Shah pon mengaku yang dia suami orang dan juga bapa kepada 4 orang cahaya mata.

Dari situ, tiap hari kami bermessage through facebook. Kami bincang berkaitan makanan kesihatan, bahaya supplement terlarang, berkaitan business sebab dia kerja gomen dan buat part time business. Jadi, kami berkongsi pendapat tentang business masing-masing. Dari bermessage bertukar ke whatsapp. Bertukar-tukar gambar. Aku tak percaya gambar yang dia bagi sebab handsome kot. Takkan la bapa kepada 4 orang anak handsome macam tu. One day, aku dapat 2 miscall. Aku call balik sebab unknown number (aku tak save nombor whatsapp dengan Shah) dan ingatkan customer aku. Sekali Shah!! Dia bagi alasan, dia call sebab takut dia berwhatsapp dengan lelaki atau ada orang nak mainkan dia. Dah lama whatsapp, dia video call. Alasan kalini pon sama, nak pastikan betul ke perempuan yang whatsapp dengan dia. Kekonon takot lelaki guna apps tukar suara lelaki jadi perempuan. Setelah beberapa kali dia video call, aku jawab. Aku pakai tudung elok-elok kekonon dia tak nampak aurat aku. Perghh, memang orang yang sama dengan gambar yang dia bagi. Kami vc masa husband aku masuk tidur. Korang tau apa dia cakap masa first time vc? Dia cakap aku comel. Cute. Wife Shah ala-ala husband aku, besar gabak. Shah cakap suka tengok aku. Sedap mata memandang. Husband aku pon dah berkurun tak puji aku wei.. Aku selalu ja tanya husband aku “cantik tak?” Dia jawab, “ok jaa”. Tak tengok aku pon. Kadang aku tanya husband aku, “sayang Zuana tak?” dia jawab, “sayang” sambil main handphone atau apa-apa hal dia. Berbalik kepada vc aku dengan Shah, kejap ja kami vc. Gila kauuu, laki aku ada dalam rumah kot.

Makin lama, aku macam ada perasaan kat Shah. Dia handsome, tinggi, sport guy, he has a great smile, kelakar, caring, badan dia fit (tak buncit), pakaian dia pon smart (sebab dia kerja badan beruniform). Beza la dengan husband aku, walaupon gaji berbelas ribu, pakaian selekeh, misai malas nak trim, perut buncit, muka berjerawat, badan berjerawat, baju tidur pakai 2 hari baru nak tukar. Kepam kot. Aku suruh tukar, dia cakap nak pakai tidur ja pon. Dia ingat aku takde hidung? Nak kata aku habiskan duit dia?? Hellooo.. Semua perbelanjaan aku, mekap ke, baju ke, bra segala mak nenek, aku beli guna duit business aku. Even peralatan dapur pon aku yang belikan. Baju raya aku, anak-anak termasuk dia, aku yang belikan. Tak kira lagi aku belikan kasut, baju, perfume memahal kat dia sebab aku nak hak aku tengok permandangan yang elok. Tapi, dia tak appreciate. Dia tolak aku jauh-jauh dari dia.

Berbalik cerita berkenaan Shah, tiap kali dia whatsapp aku, dia akan tanya khabar aku, macam mana progress business aku. Shah juga selalu sebut ayat ni, “Comelnya, sayang betul sebab isteri orang.”. Dia kiss kat screen handphone. Bila nak end conversation, dia akan type “jaga diri baik-baik”. Aku dah melting dengan dia, tapi, aku cuba tahan diri sebab aku sedar yang aku isteri orang dan dia suami orang. Sampailah satu tahap, kalau berhari tak contact, bila dia call, dia akan cakap “lega boleh dengar suara Zuana”. Aku ada tanya dia, “abang suka Zuana ke?” Dia jawab, “suka sebagai kawan.”. Tapi, cara dia treat aku, rasa macam special gais. Jauh beza dengan husband treat aku.

Aku bagi satu situasi. Awal tahun ni (2018), aku bercuti dengan family kecil aku, aku inform Shah awal-awal sebab takot dia contact aku, kantoi pulak. Nak dijadikan cerita, hari pertama bercuti, malam tu anak aku demam sampai warded. Husband aku?? Dia balik tidur hotel dengan anak-anak yang lain. Aku la yang gila sorang-sorang kat hospital. Tempat orang pulak tu. Anak aku kena warded pon, aku dukung sensorang ke wad. Dalam masa tu jugak, Shah whatsapp. Dia cakap “sorry kacau, cuma nak tanya khabar.”. Aku bagitau situasi aku, terus dia call aku gais. Dia comfort aku, tanya aku dah makan ke? Suruh aku mandi bersihkan diri. Suruh baca surah sekian-sekian. Aku dengan anak aku sehelai sepinggang gais kat hospital tu. Harapkan husband nak hantar pakaian ke makanan ke minuman. Haram!

Pagi-pagi di hospital kan diorang edarkan breakfast. Aku hanya mampu telan air liur ja sebab pinggan cawan apa pon aku takda. Anak aku dah minta susu bagai. Aku call husband tak berjawab. Dalam celah tu la hadas besar pon tak bersalin gais. Punya bengang aku masa tu. Dah la aku kena ulang alik ke toilet mandikan anak sebab nak turunkan suhu badan dia. Aku guna baju anak aku sebagai towel lap basah air. Kawan husband yang konvoi sesama datang pagi tu bawak breakfast. Memang aku menangis masa tu juga. Wife dia peluk aku erat-erat sambil cakap sabar banyak-banyak. Diorang husband and wife boleh datang pagi-pagi, kenapa tidak husband aku? Dia boleh layan tidur sementara aku dengan anak dia kat hospital yang taktau hujung pangkal ni. Bila dia datang? Masa waktu melawat. Yesss.. tengah hari!! Bravo hubby!!!

Aku malas nak imbau lebih lanjut kejadian drama bangang tu. Jadi, makin lama aku makin tangkap cintan la dengan Shah. Sampailah satu hari, kantoi dengan wife dia. So, aku rasa that is la. Aku takot, sedih, menyesal, semua ada. Aku cakap kat dia, cukuplah setakat ni saja. Dia pon ok. Aku minta nak call explain kat wife dia, dia tak bagi. Dia cakap, takpe la, kita stop ja contact each other. Aku redha walaupon frust gais. Menangis macam orang gila bila aku sensorang, aku kemurungan, makan tak lalu, tidur tak lena, mandi tak basah. Untuk kali pertama, aku melalui fasa putus cinta sebab sebelum dia, aku hanya pernah bercinta dengan husband aku. Rasa putus cinta tu sangatlah perit, pedih dan seksa. Dalam pada tu, muncul rasa bersalah kat husband, aku rasa berdosa sebab menduakan dia. Aku confront husband aku. Aku bagitau aku ada scandal, tapi aku dah break up. Aku minta maaf, minta ampun. Aku bagi alasan, aku buat macam tu sebab aku sunyi. Huband aku tak cakap banyak dan aku boleh nampak dia terkejut gila. Dia tak mahu tau lebh lanjut cerita perihal aku dan Shah. Dia pun minta maaf kat aku sebab dia abaikan aku selama ni. Dia berjanji yang dia akan berubah.

Bagi mengisi masa lapang selain perbaiki hubungan aku dengan husband, aku tingkatkan value aku. Untuk pengetahuan readers, walaupon aku ada anak 4 orang, body aku still macam orang belum kahwin. Perut aku, walaupon pernah czer sekali, takda strech mark dan flat. Luka czer aku sebaris comel ja. Boleh dikatakan aku pandai bab masak memasak. Cakap ja kau nak makan menu apa. Tradisional? Western? Eastern? Kuih? Dessert? Semua aku boleh masak. Ingat lagi masa tahun ke-3 kami berkahwin, husband aku puji masakan aku lagi sedap dari masakan mak dia dan mak aku walaupon menu yang aku masak tu berdasasrkan resepi mak-mak kitaorang yang aku olah sikit. Apa lagi kelebihan yang aku ada? Anak-anak kitaorang semua comel-comel dan bijak. I’m very good at parenting sampai kawan-kawan aku selalu pm aku minta nasihat berkaitan anak-anak diorang. Aku pandai cari duit sendiri. Aku boleh berdikari. Aku nak pergi mana-mana, aku boleh drive sendiri berdasarkan waze. Jadi, apa yang aku kurang? Aku tak berapa pandai makeup. Aku masuk kelas mekap. Belajar cantikkan diri. Aku rasa, aku dah add semua value aku so that kalau husband aku tinggalkan aku, dialah manusia paling rugi dalam dunia ni. Haha.

Tak semena-mena, boom! bermessage dengan senior lama (Kyril) through facebook. Awal tu tanya khabar. Last aku jumpa berbelas tahun dulu. Kami kenal masa outdoor activity. Aku ada hati kat dia sebab dia ada ciri-ciri lelaki idaman aku. Non smoking, tinggi, great smile, handsome, suka outdoor activity, caring, soft spoken. Memang 90% menepati ciri-ciri idaman aku. Tapi, masa tu dia dah ada girlfriend. Kami selalu contact through yahoo messenger. Tak sampai sebulan aku couple dengan boyfriend aku (husband aku), dia confess yang dia sukakan aku dan nak kahwin dengan aku. Dia clash dengan girlfriend dia sebab orang ketiga. Aku reject dia walaupon hati aku meronta-ronta nak kat dia. Aku anggap takda jodoh. Selepas setahun lebih kejadian tu, dia kahwin. Lepas tu, kami stop contact each other. Berbalik kepada kejadian terkini, kami bermessage bertanya khabar bagai. Rupanya dia baru bercerai. Timing lebih kurang masa aku start scandal dengan Shah last year. So, sebagai kawan, aku cuma menjadi a good listener.

Dalam masa yang sama, Shah mula contact aku balik. Aku cerita drama antara aku dengan Shah kepada Kyril dan Kyril bagi nasihat dan kata semangat supaya hubungan aku tinggalkan Shah dan pulihkan hubungan dengan husband. Dalam masa yang sama, Kyril mengimbau cebisan kenangan kami dulu. Dia menyesal sebab terlalu ambil masa nak approach aku. Ada juga dia suarakan pendapat suruh aku bercerai dengan husband aku. Dia cakap, dia masih sukakan aku. Aku tolak cadangan tu sebab aku masih ada rasa sayang dekat husband. Tolak kes dia ignore aku, actually, husband aku seorang suami dan ayah yang bertanggungjawab. Sepanjang 10 tahun kami berumahtangga, dia tak pernah naik tangan atau suara dengan aku. Tak pernah sekali pon maki aku. Ringan tulang membantu aku membuat kerja rumah. Cuma, dia lack of empathy dan juga bukan seorang yang romantic. Kyril mengalah dan cuba tolong aku selamatkan rumah tangga aku dan bagi kata-kata semangat supaya aku tinggalkan Shah. Shah keep contact aku sekadar tanya khabar. At last, aku ikut nasihat Kyril. Aku block Shah. Settle. Hubungan aku dengan suami pon makin ok walaupon tidaklah 100 peratus ok. Alhamdulillah.

Aku bagitau Kyril, hubungan aku dan suami dah much better. Aku berterima kasih sangat-sangat kepada Kyril. Kemudian, makin lama, dia makin menjauh dan sepi. Status instagram dia semua sedih-sedih, sayu-sayu. Ada sekali, aku berani message bertanyakan khabar. Dia jawab nak tak nak ja. So, aku stop setakat tu ja. Aku taktau apa yang aku dah buat. Aku assume dia jauhkan diri sebab tak nak keruhkan rumah tangga aku. Thank you so much. Aku bersyukur juga disebabkan aku migrate jauh ke borneo, jadi, aku terpelihara dari melakukan perbuatan yang pelik-pelik sebab jauh dari Shah atau Kyril.

Masalah aku tak settle sampai part tu. Selepas raya aidilfitri yang lalu, masa aku kat porch, ada seseorang panggil nama aku. Aku toleh. Rupanya jiran sebelah rumah (Daus) yang panggil. Daus baru pindah awal tahun ni. Bujang. Senior Engineer. Aku pernah tegur dia masa dia mula-mula pindah tapi tak pernah bagitau nama aku. Hidup berjiran kan. Dah jiran aku panggil, aku pergi kat dia. Dia tanya, kenapa dia call nombor (ada nombor dan nama aku kat situ) kat banner balkoni rumah aku tak dapat. Aku cakap, tu nombor lama. Husband saja letak banner kat situ sebab nak elak panas. Dia minta nombor aku yang terkini. Aku nak cakap apa? Aku bagi je laa.

Kali pertama Daus call sebab dia nak beli benda yang dia nampak tertera kat banner balkoni aku. Dia call dan datang rumah selepas husband aku keluar pergi kerja. Ada la sembang-sembang kosong. Depan pintu rumah ja. Selepas seminggu, Daus beli lagi. Lepas tu, dia whatsapp aku. Dia keep on whatsapp aku. Aku malas nak layan sebab aku tengah frust putus cinta masa tu dan aku dalam cubaan nak memperbaiki hubungan dengan husband.

Aku reply biasa-biasa saja. Satu hari, aku tipu dia bagitau dia aku dah tak jual benda kat banner tu. Haha. Pernah dia whatsapp masa aku tengah class makeup. Dia cakap “patutlah kulit cantik.”. Sweet! Tapi, aku takda mood nak buat drama siri baru. Dia suruh aku hantar selfie pon aku tak layan.

Lepas tu, lama tak contact, cuma terserempak masa kat luar rumah macam tu ja. Sampailah last month, dia whatsapp aku bagitau dia balik kampung. Minta aku tengok-tengokkan rumah dan kereta dia. So, setiap 2 hari aku update ja. Dia ada tanya nak kirim apa-apa ka? Aku cakap takda. Ada jugak dia selit suruh aku selfie. Aku reject elok-elok. Lepas dia pulang, dia contact bagitau belikan aku something. Tiap kali dia whatsapp aku, dia cakap tak sempat nak bagi. Padahal, rumah dia sebelah rumah aku ja pon. Bila whatsapp tu melarat la nak chit chat bagai.

Sampai la satu hari, dia whatsapp agak daring. Aku terus potong cakap “cepat-cepat la kawen”. Dia boleh reply apa tau?? “Kalau Zuana single, dah lama dia ajak keluar (dating)”. Aku speechless. Aku just reply “haha” bersama emoticon gelak keluar air mata tu. Jiran kot wei.. Tak agak-agak. 3 hari lepas, Daus whatsapp pagi tu cakap nanti dia nak bagi benda yang dia belikan tu. So, lepas lunch, husband aku pergi kerja. Dia call cakap dah ada depan rumah. Aku keluar terima pemberian dia dan ucap terima kasih. Cuma bertanya khabar berbahasa basi. Dia cakap, bau macam baking masa aku buka pintu rumah. Aku cakap “yaa, tengah baking. Petang karang nak cod”. Dia suruh aku buat extra sebab dia nak rasa. Aku ok kan jaa. Ada la terselit topic yang dia nak kahwin hujung tahun ni. Rupanya dia balik kampung haritu sebab nak settlekan hal kenduri dia. Aku ucap tahniah dan tumpang rasa happy. Tapi gais, dalam penghujung sembang, dia boleh puji-puji aku. Dahtu, ajak aku keluar tengok wayang malam tu. Ko rasa??

Aku reject. Aku cakap, aku just nak cod, pastu balik. Aku bagitau dia petang karang sebelum keluar cod, aku hantar kat dia. Aku bagitau husband tentang pemberian Daus dan boleh nampak riak muka husband aku berubah. Tapi, dia cuba control. Aku bagitau ja la dari nak kantoi. Nak dijadikan cerita, aku terlewat siapkan order. Lepas maghrib baru aku keluar cod. Aku ada inform Daus awal petang tu. Dia ok kan ja. Bila aku dah keluar rumah, aku call dia sebab nak bagi kek tu. Korang tau dia jawab apa? Dia kat luar, jumpa kat luar. Dia suruh aku ke tempat dia ada sekarang. Dia send location. Tempat tu memang tempat romantic. So, tak dak pasai aku nak kesitu. Aku cakap, “Tak nak pergi situ. Saya cuma nak cod pastu balik”. Dia cakap, “takpe, bawa ja kek dia, nanti dia contact”. Bila aku dah cod, aku call dia tanya nak drop kat mana? Skali, dia sampai situ gais. Dia ajak aku makan sesama. Lepas dia settle makan, dia ajak tengok wayang. Aku tolak elok-elok cakap nak balik. Balik rumah, husband aku tak tanya sepatah apa pon. Kemana aku pergi ke? Kenapa balik lewat? Takde. Aku sampai rumah, husband masuk bilik.

Daus sambung whatsapp aku. Dia cakap seronok keluar makan dengan aku. Aku cakap’ “keluar makan ja pon”. Pastu, mula la melalut bersimpang siur. Aku cakap, “sabar laa.. tak lama lagi dah nak kenduri tu.” Tetiba kannn.. dia video call!! Dua kali aku tak angkat. Aku whatsapp tanya kalau-kalau dia ter sebab sebelum ni pon ada jugak dia tertekan. Dia jawab, “ memang dia nak vc dengan aku.”. Aku tanya dia nak cakap apa? Dia jawab. “angkat ja”. Lepas pakai tudung, aku angkat. Dia tanya dah cuci muka ka? Aku cakap ya sebab dah nak masuk tidur. Dia puji-puji aku. Dia minta nak tengok aku tanpa bertudung. Aku tak bagi. Pastu, dia cakap otak dia dah fikir bukan-bukan. Aku cakap bebaik, “Better stop ja vc. Pegi la tidur cepat-cepat”. Daus drag conversation siap muah muah nak kiss aku, sampaikan aku terpaksa end vc tu. Lepas tu dia sambung whatsapp lagi. Oh my god! Last, aku turn off wifi, aku tidur.

Harini, Daus whatsapp aku petang tadi. Dia cakap saja ja. Dia tanya samada aku keluar kemana-mana tak malam ni. Aku cakap tak. Dia ajak aku keluar tengok wayang. Aku tolak elok-elok. Aku cakap tak elok keluar dengan tunang orang bagai. Dia jawab keluar sebagai kawan ja. Jawapan cliché sangat macam Shah. Haha. Aku jawab, “takpe laa.. terima kasih. Bla bla bla”. Berjela la alasan aku punya nak jaga hati jiran.

Kesimpulannya, aku nak buat macam mana eh?? Buntu gais.. Kalau bukan jiran, dah lama aku maki. Kau dah nak kahwin tak berapa bulan, sesuka hati kau menggatal dengan bini orang. Aku memang takde mood dah nak berdrama. Sekarang ni, aku focus nak groom husband aku ja jadi lelaki idaman aku. So far, husband aku dah boleh disentuh. Haha. Peluk kalau aku suruh dia peluk aku. Dah shopping baju seluar yang senonoh setanding dengan pangkat dia. Dah trim misai dia bagi nipis sebab aku prefer lelaki yang takda misai. Dah berjinak-jinak dengan activity sukan. Dari perut pregnant 6 bulan dah jadi 3 bulan. Dah tukar baju tidur hari-hari. Dah kurang buat perangai baran tak memasal dia. Dia bukan jenis naik tangan, tapi, dia suka sepak-sepak mainan anak-anak atas lantai. Pastu, marah dan membebel anak-anak atas sebab-sebab kecil. So far, ok la husband aku. Much better. Cuma, part atas katil masih lagi kelaut. Aku redha jaa.. Kalau ada tips, share laa.. Haha.

Lastly, aku mohon readers doakan kebahagiaan aku dan husband. Masih cuba perbaiki. Kalau bukan jodoh kami berdua, mohon aku dijauhkan dari menjadi perosak rumah tangga orang. Letih drama gais. Scandal dengan laki orang, dengan duda, dengan bakal laki orang. Memang pasni aku takkan minta doa bodoh-bodoh macam haritu dah. Insaf sangat.

– Zuana

Kredit : iium confession

【孩子的心理平安】

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.

I laughed as I read this quote by Franklin Jones.

Without fail, almost every lesson, this 7-year-old boy would gamely walk up to me and bellow, "老師，我好喜歡你啊！" (Teacher, I like you so much!)

He was rather tall and big for his age. Last week, he gave me a bear hug out of the blue, nearly knocking me over like a bowling pin.

To encourage him to speak more Mandarin, I engaged him in a conversation and asked, "你爲什麼那麽喜歡李老師？" (Why do you like me so much?)

He chirped excitedly with his toothy grin, "因爲你很漂亮！" (Because you are very pretty!)

I don't know whether to cry or to laugh.

.

This Facebook comment from Madam Teo struck a chord with me:

"我們用很長很長很長的時間把自己或孩子「弄壞」，然後期待以非常簡潔廉價的方式拿回那已經長茧的健康心理。"

We used a very very very long period of time to damage ourselves or our children. Then we look forward to reclaim that once healthy mindset, which is now infested with worms, with very cheap, easy and clean methods.

It is extremely hard to be a parent, much less a capable one.

Sometimes, there is nothing more ego tripping than trying to be a good parent.

Recently, I got hold of this book and the foreword written by a magazine editor, who is a working mum of two, was particularly insightful, and somewhat poignant.

She wrote:

從孩子一出生開始，我們爲人父母者的腦子裡就會出現兩個字：教育。我們希望通過「教育」讓孩子知書達理、令行禁止、敏而好學、從善如流。我們希望通過「教育」來塑造我們和孩子之間良好的關係⋯⋯祇是，「教育」二字帶來的強大使命感和緊迫感讓我們忽略了這樣的事實：我們與孩子之間先有關係，後有教育，我們首先是一個生命與另一個生命的親密組合，其次才是一個生命幫助另一個生命成爲更好的自己（且不論究竟是誰幫誰）。

From the beginning of a child's birth, the word that appears in the brains of us parents would be "education".

We hope that through "education", our children will be highly cultured and steeped in propriety, obey orders, smart and fond of studying, and follow good advice readily.

We wish that through "education", we build good relations with our children.

Thing is, the strong sense of mission and urgency, drummed by the word "education", often causes us to neglect this fact: We first have a relationship with our children, before education comes in.

We and our children, are essentially an intimate combination of one life with another life.

Secondly, it is then about one life helping another life to become a better version of himself/herself. (Let's not talk about who is actually helping who.)

.

These got me thinking about my work and my clients.

How some of them would move homes to be near the desired schools for their offspring.

How they send their kids to many many enrichment classes.

How they work very hard (some become SAHMs) to have better abilities to groom and nurture their children for their future.

They share the same aspiration as the magazine editor. It is no secret that most Singaporean parents take education very seriously. Instead of the phrase Tiger Mum, in Singapore, we call ourselves Lion Mums. #MajulahSingapura *mane flick*

When a male client came back seeking my Feng Shui service, I asked him why. I asked every client why by the way. It is my method of understanding my appeal to my market.

He told me he got favourable results since our Bazi consultation. His little girl getting into the school of their first choice was one reason.

It was a casual mention then when he told me about the school application. Through him, I learnt about the stress parents go through to get their children enrolled in the right schools. Out of empathy, I asked for his daughter's birth details and did a quick calculation to see if their preferred school was a good choice for her Bazi. Just because the parents like a particular school, does not mean the child will really benefit and be happy studying there.

Jackpot, it was great for the little girl. I gave my client some tips to secure the coveted spot in that school. It was a little extra bonus I gave him beyond the usual Bazi consultation. He had been mildly supportive of my work and remained polite, when I pointed out his areas to improve in our interactions.

.

More than once, clients have asked me if they can move homes to be near a particular school, for the sake of their children.

My answer is:

Always consider your marriage and livelihood first.

The energies in our living environment can either nurture us or break us. Not all houses are made equal.

If you are in a bad luck cycle, pretty sure you would know it without a fortune teller telling you, chances are you would be attracted to a house of poor Feng Shui. For without the intervention of a Feng Shui practitioner, the state of our Bazi determines the kind of Feng Shui we will naturally get.

The husband is considered the master of the house. While grooming our children is essential, you shouldn't compromise on the husband's career by moving into a house of lousy Feng Shui, just so that the child can register into your dream school.

Money woes, stagnant growth and loss of direction/drive in life can nail a stake into an otherwise happy family.

Last I know, broken families and highly strung parents are never recommended ingredients for happy and emotionally secure children.

The more family members there are, the more delicate my job is. To ensure every family member gets to benefit from great Feng Shui, within the constraints of a house, is always the most challenging part of my job.

.

Parents are the first and most intimate teachers of a child.

If a child does not have good role models to look up to at home, sending them to good schools will not have the desired impact as you crave.

Why?

Your DNA runs in the blood cells of your child. Say if you are a lazy person, who has a strong sense of entitlement, it is very likely your child's character will mirror yours. No matter what school he or she is in.

Because a child spends more time at home, with the family, than with his or her teachers.

Parenting is made even more challenging, if the father or mother lacks certain mental nourishment in his or her growing up years and is unable to repair and replenish himself or herself during the adulthood.

The deficient parent would not know how to give those nutrients to his or her child. And a vicious cycle ensues.

At different ages, a child will need different mental nutrition from the parents. These critical nutrients will form the backbone of the child's attitude in life, towards his or her education, marriage, career, lifestyle, family relations, friendships, money management, virtues and morals, ability to endure hardships, solve problems and pick up knowledge.

These mental nutrients are to be adequately given to the child before the age of 7.

One example of a mental nutrient the author raised in her book is the child's sense of importance.

Every child desires to feel valued by the parents. Especially between 0-3 years old. If the parents are emotionally unavailable and does not show to the child that he or she is very important to them, the child will instinctively seek this nutrient from another replacement adult.

Could be the grandparents or school teachers.

If he or she never manage to find this sense of being highly valued, he or she will spend his whole life looking for it.

They may fall in love with someone while still in secondary school, hoping that their partner will see them as the most important person in their lives.

As they get older, they will pester their partner with questions like:

• Am I the most important person in your life?
• How important am I?
• If I am a very terrible person, have a very bad character, will you still love me?

...

A quest like this consumes a lot of life energies for both persons in such a relationship. The child may over compromise on himself or herself in a relationship, just to be (the illusion of being) wanted and loved.

Over the past 11 years, I've worked with enough children and adults to see the truth in this author's comprehensive analysis.

.

When I do story telling to children, I tend to omit violence. For e.g. if the bad guy is caught and killed, I may modify the plot by saying that he is caught and thrown into prison.

I don't want the children to think that killing another person solves everything. There are already young boys, who go around the class shooting finger guns at their classmates and teachers, and calling it "fun".

While a good school makes a lot of difference, I also think attending religious classes is valuable for young children.

A child who only attends classes for self development will not learn enough to have the motivation to help others. Because those classes focus on his personal success, how to win the race, and not how he can help and love beyond his family and friends. Much less about how to break free from the endless wheel of reincarnation.

Some parents will tell me, they don't want to force their children into a religion at such a young age.

The dramatic irony when they "force" their child to go for tutition after tuition.

Sending your child to Buddhism lessons or Sunday school does not equate to coercing the child into a religion.

Religious classes build deep mental strength at a very different dimension from secular classes.

It teaches gratitude, altruism, compassion, karma, humility, filial piety, repentance (being able to admit you're wrong), precepts (do the right thing) and internal peace.

It shows the child the beauty of forgiveness and forbearance.

Religion also nourishes the child's soul by letting him or her know how important he or she is in the eyes of God, Buddha etc.

The child learns to make sense of the world he is living in and the purpose of his existence.

Jesus was betrayed, tortured and died on the cross. He spreaded the Gospel for only 12 short years. Buddha's blood-related disciple, Devadatta, plotted to kill Him with a drunk elephant but failed. He spoke poison of Buddha and eventually left Buddha, taking away with him 500 monks.

These are all extraordinary men who endured incredible hardships for Their cause. They, as with many great prophets, are the superheroes of Their time.

Thousands of years later, They withstood the test of time and are still highly revered all over the world.

Are Their stories not worth reading to our children? Is there nothing our children can learn from Them, to cope with the stress they will face?

Children don't tell us parents everything. By establishing this spiritual channel of communication, we cross our fingers (and toes) that our precious ones will not go leaping off from their room's window when things are rocky for them and they feel invalidated.

You should still allow the child to choose his or her own faith when they grow up. At least by then, you have built a (hopefully) good foundation of love, strength and empathy in your child when you had the chance to.

.

Proactive parents come to me to get their children's Bazi analysed, because they want to understand their children better and propel them in the right direction of growth.

They wish that their children can live a life more fulfilling than theirs, without having to fall too much.

If religion and Chinese Metaphysics aren't your cup of Teh Tarik, then I highly recommend this book that I am reading.

It is an equally good book for a "malnourished" adult to understand himself or herself.

I couldn't find it in Singapore bookstores, so the Husband bought my copy from an online Malaysia bookstore.

There are many Q&As in this book for parents with real-life problems in managing their children. The author gave very sensible and feasible recommendations. These were complied from the author's monthly column in the magazine and her 10,000+ strong real-life case studies.

Most people don't get to unleash their life potential this lifetime, because they lack the mentors and the mental nourishment to realise the powers of their Bazi.

Some of them blame their parents. But there is only so long you can blame them. How long more do you want to put your happiness in the hands of your parents? For the next 60 years? Perhaps like you, they didn't have parents who are adept at giving them the mental nourishment.

I don't think it matters whether you repair yourself when you are an adult or you, as a parent, only realise now what you have been doing wrong.

As long as we are willing to change and improve, we can always make up for lost time.

Better late than never.

...

《心理营养》

林文采 / 伍娜 / Shanghai Academy of Social Science Press / 288页 / Hardcover / 2016-3-1

心理营养的内容简介：

正如身体的健康需要物质营养，孩子心灵的成长与心理力量的强大必须获取足够的心理营养。

在成长的不同阶段，给足孩子恰当的心理营养，也就给了他一生幸福的底层代码。

本书中，作者阐述了“心理营养”的理念，同时介绍了气质理论在亲子教育中的应用。结合“心理营养”的理念和气质理论，作者从12个方面全方位回答了父母育儿中的常见问题。

五大心理营养：无条件的接纳；此时此刻，我生命中你最重要；安全感；肯定、赞美、认同；学习、认知、模范。

生命中的“五朵金花”：爱的能力；独立自主；联结；价值感；安全感。

12个方面的问题：
安全感 •情绪管理 •性格难题 •行为偏差 •社交与社会化 •夫妻关系 •妈妈的自我成长和支持 •父亲养育 •隔代养育 •性教育 •疑难表现 •其他生活琐事

上一集的睡睡念，受到广大回响！网友的问题如雪片般飞来～～所以今天我和安迪抱着一颗热诚的心来回答大家的问题啦！
今天的主题是跟大家息息相关的「网络交友」。希望我们的回答可以帮大家解决问题，也欢迎其他任何有问题的朋友在留言处询问，我们会努力一一为您解答喔～～～～

We've received an overwhelming response for the previous episode of Pillowtalk! So today,  Andie and I are going to answer all of the questions with our utmost sincerity!
In this episode, we're going to discuss about something intimately related to our daily lives -- Online Dating. Hopefully our response would help to answer your queries. Also, feel free to comment in the comments section below if you have any questions for us. We'll do our best to answer every single one of them～～～～

===== ===== ===== ===== ===== =====
Subscribe for new video every Friday!
欢迎订阅我们的 YouTube频道 和去我们的 Facebook主页。
If you enjoyed this video, subscribe to our channel and visit our Facebook page.
https://www.youtube.com/c/kandienetwork
https://www.facebook.com/kandiefamily/

也有IG哦！
Follow us on Instagram!
https://www.instagram.com/kandiefamily/

官网：
Website：http://www.kandienetwork.com/

A等妈 的粉丝专页：
Kate Pang Facebook：
https://www.facebook.com/pangleixin

安迪爸的粉丝专页：
Andie Chen Facebook：
https://www.facebook.com/andiechen

A等妈 的IG：
Kate Pang Instagram：
https://www.instagram.com/katepang311/?hl=en

安迪爸 的IG：
Andie Chen Instagram：
https://www.instagram.com/andiechen/?hl=en
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Credits:
Cute Baby Face
https://www.askideas.com/baby-face-cover-with-hands-funny-picture/

Tinder Logo
https://www.mcfcwatch.com/2018/04/05/manchester-city-hook-up-with-dating-app-tinder-in-new-multi-year-deal/

Coffee Meets Bagel Logo
https://www.datingscout.com/coffee-meets-bagel/review

Lunch Actually Logo
https://www.ethozgroup.com/blog/interview-run-business-spouse-lunch-actually-ceo-violet-lim/

Paktor Logo
http://www.businessofapps.com/asia-focused-dating-app-paktor-raises-32-5m/

Strong Old Lady
https://www.popsugar.com/smart-living/45-Life-Lessons-Written-90-Year-Old-Woman-34209890

Good Looking Guy
https://thoughtcatalog.com/clint-conway/2017/03/this-guy-made-a-fake-tinder-profile-to-prove-that-girls-never-think-hot-dudes-are-creepy/

Not So Good Looking
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/393290979940728417/?lp=true

Travel Map
https://www.canva.com/templates/postcards/MACIlrD5iLg-map-airplane-travel-postcard/

Singapore Tan Skin Girl
http://www.asiaone.com/health/sandra-riley-tang-unplugged
http://gyaru.wikia.com/wiki/File:Ganguro_girl.jpg

Sheila Sim Wedding
http://stomp.straitstimes.com/singapore-seen/model-sheila-sim-weds-banker-she-met-on-dating-app-in-intimate-ceremony

TV Test Pattern
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Test_card

Pattern More Than Badminton Meme
https://mothership.sg/2013/12/50-insultsretorts-singaporeans-1/

Passionate Kiss
https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/174866398005745323/

Girls Watching Movie
http://www.argos.co.uk/static/ArgosPromo3/includeName/movie-night.htm

American Beauty
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7NXm8YCPDw

尔康表情包
http://www.china.com.cn/guoqing/2015-10/29/content_36925440_4.htm
https://credit.u51.com/huankuan/9209.html

Whatsapp Logo
http://www.stickpng.com/img/icons-logos-emojis/tech-companies/whatsapp-logo

Mobile Phone Clipart
https://www.shareicon.net/phones-tools-tools-and-utensils-tool-holding-phone-set-cellphone-hand-phone-mobile-phone-669915

女鬼
https://moontown0125.deviantart.com/art/Sadako-Yamamura-273105938

Flame clipart
https://es.vexels.com/png-svg/vista-previa/145648/dibujos-animados-de-fuego

Boy Meets Girl
https://www.japaholic.com/tw/article/21804/

Caution Clipart
http://www.pngall.com/alert-png

手机，已经变成我们生活中不可缺少的物品，每次A等看我们用手机拍照，都会跟我们抢着拍，与其让孩子玩手机，不如让手机变成一台有趣的相机，也让孩子可以在科技之中，可以感受到传统相机的乐趣！

Does your child love taking photos with your handphone? How do you encourage your kids to develop their creativity without getting them hooked onto the smart phone? Watch Daddy Andie give his old phone second life as he converted it into a "traditional" toy camera for Aden!

#A等爱传统 #妈妈英文有够好
#kandie #kandiefamily #adenchen #averychen #katepang #andiechen #A等一家 #oldphone #newcamera #kids #kidscamera
===== ===== ===== ===== ===== =====
Subscribe for new video every Monday!
欢迎订阅我们的 YouTube频道 和去我们的 Facebook主页。
If you enjoyed this video, subscribe to our channel and visit our Facebook page.
https://www.youtube.com/c/kandienetwork
https://www.facebook.com/kandiefamily/

也有IG哦！
Follow us on Instagram!
https://www.instagram.com/kandiefamily/

官网：
Website：http://www.kandienetwork.com/

A等妈,的粉丝专页：
Kate Pang Facebook：
https://www.facebook.com/pangleixin

安迪爸的粉丝专页：
Andie Chen Facebook：
https://www.facebook.com/andiechen

A等妈,的IG：
Kate Pang Instagram：
https://www.instagram.com/katepang311/?hl=en

安迪爸的IG：
Andie Chen Instagram：
https://www.instagram.com/andiechen/?hl=en
===== ===== ===== ===== ===== =====

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還有什麼想知道的？再留言問我喲～

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►Blog／百變沛莉影音網站 http://5happy.cc/
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🎀 大家好！我是沛莉
台灣的作家/部落客/博主/造型師/YouTuber/廣告名模
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