【我親愛的Zoom視訊客人們】
To My Dear Zoom Clients
我忍了真的⋯⋯真的⋯⋯很久,今天過後實在忍無可忍,一定要叮嚀所有過去和未來的客人們。
我年紀很大了,受不了太大的刺激。
拜託,你們可以Zoom好來嗎?😓😑
一、Zoom視訊的視角 = 拍護照照的視角
護照自2020年起就已成為古董,但大家這一生應該有拍過證件照吧!
對了,就是要頭髮整齊,讓我看到你的雙耳、雙眼、鼻子、嘴巴、頸項和肩膀,到胸部。
我批八字時,需要看整個面相。不要讓你一半的臉掉出鏡頭外,這樣很像鍾無艷,也不要嘴巴不見掉,這樣我很像在跟一條羅漢魚視訊。
我看面相包括看你的嘴巴、牙齒和說話時的嘴形。是的,看相就是需要那麼仔細。
如果你的螢幕太低,那就找書本或舊報紙,把螢幕墊高一點。別讓我整一個小時半只看到你的雙下巴,會把你的面相比例給看錯。
不要一直告訴我不好意思,方法是人想出來的。
•
二、光線
太暗,我看你如見鬼。
太亮,我會看不清你的膚色。
拉開窗簾,不要背向陽光。
有必要的話,就直接開燈!
•
三、勿放什麼椰樹沙灘/金門大橋的虛擬背景圖
什麼虛擬背景圖都不要放啦~
我的家美最重要,我不在乎你的家美不美,我只是來看命的。
如果你的Wi-Fi不是很強,電腦功能不是很厲害,這類的虛擬背景圖會讓你的視訊畫面卡卡的。
有時你轉個身,整個右邊不見了,或部份的頭髮少了,讓我覺得我好像在看恐怖片,嚇人啊~
•
四、環境和聲音
有些海外客人其實非常用心。為了與我視訊,特別去買有麥克風的耳機🎧,讓我能更清楚的聽到他們的聲音。😍
沒有使用耳機和麥克風的客人,往往他們的聲音會有種空氣般的回音,如果他們本身講話又小聲,我的耳機聲量開滿,我還是聽得滿辛苦的
也有香港和馬來西亞客人租過會議室、鐘點房間或單人工作室,就是為了不受家人的干擾,能安心的與我視訊。😍
最有趣的是,去年新加坡阻斷措施時,有位男客人跑到屋外的走廊坐在地上與我視訊。只是外頭風聲有點大,我好幾次都聽不清楚他的聲音。
曾有客人在咖啡廳與我視訊。咖啡廳裡的高談闊論聲和器皿的敲擊聲,頻頻從我的耳機闖進我的耳朵,哇~我的耳朵那時真的是活受罪,還要裝一副氣定神閒的樣子。
天啊,兩次過後,我寧願退錢,也不再見這樣的客人了。耳朵只有一對,我要保護好啊!
在這裡聲明:一般我們買手機時的那種有麥克風的耳機,就已能視訊。沒有戴耳機和麥克風的客人,我一概會拒絕諮詢,把費用原銀奉還。
五、孩子
曾試過諮詢的前20分鐘,一直被女客人的小孩打擾,進來哭著要媽媽主持公道。
如果你家中有六歲以下的兒童,會時不時來敲你的門,我建議你還是先別約我。你這樣會分心,無法聽好我交代的事,而我也得一直等你去安撫你的孩子,就無法在限定時間內看完你的八字,這樣對誰都不公平。
六、我只見客人一人
這個規矩,從我一出道就定下來,也清楚的寫在網站上,根本不用一而再的來試探水溫。
但這兩個星期,還是有客人硬闖關,事先安排自己的配偶/孩子坐在電腦的另一面,要他們聽我講他的八字。
我從不改我的規矩,也沒有八字或風水是我非看不可的。
讀書這麼高,連自己的命都不能自己負責,這已經不是能改到命的人了。
你一定要你的配偶陪你聽,那你需要的不是我來教你改命,是你的配偶來安你的心。
將來若還有這樣的事,我會直接中斷視訊,把錢退回去。
七、「我第一次用Zoom!」
可是從報名那天到今天的諮詢,你有兩個月的時間去摸索。
兩個月,怎麼還是錯誤百出?因為客人根本沒有事先準備和練習。
結果我就這樣等了20分鐘,還得等對方下載軟件。
Zoom不難使用,但如果是你沒有花時間去摸索,就不要撒謊,直接說,我就直接退現錢。
品德是改命的資糧,不要為了自己能脫身就隨便編一個漏洞百出的謊,還說自己是好人。這...不會臉皮太厚了嗎?
小事都不願做好,絕對不會成大器。
八、暈車
有些客人用Ipad或手機來視訊。
重點是,他一支手拿著手機,一支手拿筆寫筆記。他一邊寫,另一支手就一邊搖晃。他做在床上,移動一下,手機就彷彿大海嘯幾下🌊
我一天如果見三個這樣客人,我的視線就搖晃了5個小時。工作完畢後,頭也會痛得厲害,無法完成晚上製片的工作。
沒有自拍器三腳架,也應該有些書本或東西來頂著手機。
各位,多點善心,為我著想一下吧⋯⋯
__________________________
To My Dear Zoom Clients
I have been enduring it for a really really long time. That's it! I am gonna put a stop to this after today and send out this reminder to all my past and future clients.
I am getting on in years, and cannot stand too much stimulation.
Please.... can you guys do a proper Zoom?
Number 1: Going on screen in Zoom = Taking a photograph for your passport.
Since 2020, the passport has become something of an antique but I believe everyone has taken some kind of ID photos! Yes, the ones with your neatly combed trusses where I can see both your ears, nose, mouth, neck, shoulder all the way to your chest.
I would like to see your full face during the Bazi Consultation. Please don't allow half your face to fall off the screen and you end up looking like Zhong Wu Yan! Please also don't hide your mouth making me feel like I am talking to a Arrowana.
When I analyze your facial features, it includes your mouth, teeth and the shape of your mouth while you are talking. Yes, it is down to such level of details.
If your PC / Laptop monitor is too low, please find a book or old newspapers and stack it on top. Please don't let me only see your double chin for that 1.5 hours, as I would probably get the proportion of your face wrong.
Don't keep telling me you are apologetic. Think of a way out.
Number 2: The background lighting.
Too dark, you risk looking like a ghost.
Too bright, I cannot figure out your skin color.
Draw open the curtains, but don't face your back to the sunlight.
If necessary, just turn on the lights!
Number 3: Background images of coconut trees on sandy beaches or the Golden Gate Bridge.
There is no need to put on a virtual background. I only care about how my hone looks, I am not bothered by yours. I am only here to see your Bazi.
If your WIFI signal or your PC / Laptop performance is poor, using the virtual background can often make your Zoom video choppy. Sometimes when you turn your body, one side of your body or some part of your hair will disappear. It's really like one of those spooky movies scaring the wits out of me.
•
Number 4: Background environment and noise.
Some of my overseas clients really put in effort for our Zoom sessions. They bought a headset with a mic so that I can hear them properly and vice versa.
Those that did not use a earphone or a headset often sounded echo-ish, and if they spoke softly, I would have to turn on the volume on my side full throttle and still have a hard time trying to hear them.
There are some clients from Hong Kong and Malaysia who would rent meeting rooms, hotel rooms or private work spaces by the hour so as to reduce any disturbance from others and better focus on the Zoom session with me.
I recalled an interesting incident during the Circuit Breaker last year. A client from Singapore Zoom-ed with me along the corridor outside his house. Most of the time, I was hearing the howling of the winds rather than his voice.
Some clients sat themselves in coffee places for our session. These places are often filled with loud chatters and the clanging of cups and plates, and my ears suffered terribly. Yet, I have to continue to be seen as composed and attentive.
Goodness me, after 2 of such experiences, I decided that I rather refund these clients and never see them again. I have only 1 pair of ears and I want to protect them at all costs!
A normal earpiece that comes with the purchase of a handphone is good enough for Zoom video calls. For clients who do not have a earpiece/headset and a mic, I would end the consultation and refund the monies.
•
Number 5: Children
There was once where a session with a female client was repeatedly disrupted by her kids, running in crying for their mother to settle their quarrels. If you have children below 6 years of age, and likely to interrupt our session, I suggest you don't book a consultation with me.
You will be distracted, unable to focus on my advice and I have to wait for you to clear up the situation with your children, eating into the allowable time for me to complete the consultation. This is unfair to both you and me.
•
Number 6: I only meet one person, that is the Client.
I have set this requirement the day I stepped into this line of work, and it is clearly written in my booking form. There is no need to try your luck under any circumstances.
But in the space of 2 weeks, there were some clients who rode their luck and got their spouse / child to sit on the other side of the screen to listen in on our consultation.
I never change my stance, and there is no single client that I cannot afford to lose.
If you insist to have your spouse sit in, it is apparent that you do not need me to help transform your destiny. Rather you really need your spouse to put your heart at ease.
If such things happen the next time, I will end the session immediately and refund the fees.
•
Number 7: "My first time using Zoom"
But you have 2 full months to prepare before our actual consultation. You did not end up wasting time exploring the software and I wasted 20 mins waiting for you to download the software.
Zoom is an easy software to use but if you did not spend the time to familiarize yourself with it, please quit the lies and tell me directly. I will refund the consultation fees on the spot.
Our moral ethics serve as the foundation for our transformation. Stop weaving web of lies to get out of sticky situations, and still claim that you are a good person. Isn't this too thick-skinned?
•
Number 8: Giddy spells
Some clients use Ipad or their handphones for the Zoom session. Crucially, they hold the device with one hand, and take notes with the other. As they write, the other hand holding the phone becomes shaky. If he is doing that on his bed, his handphone would shake like a tsunami wave every time he changes his position.
If I see 3 such clients within a day, it would be 5 hours of shaking visuals for me. That would mean a splitting headache at the end of my work day, and not being able to work on my videos at night.
Even if you don't have a tripod stand, at least prop up the device with a book or something.
Please everyone, please be kind and have mercy on me......
「the future is in the past意思」的推薦目錄:
- 關於the future is in the past意思 在 謙預 Qianyu.sg Facebook 的最讚貼文
- 關於the future is in the past意思 在 范疇文集 Facebook 的最佳解答
- 關於the future is in the past意思 在 Eric's English Lounge Facebook 的最佳解答
- 關於the future is in the past意思 在 美語入門| The past is in your head, but the future is in your hands 的評價
- 關於the future is in the past意思 在 八三夭831【想見你想見你想見你Miss You 3000】電視劇「想 ... 的評價
the future is in the past意思 在 范疇文集 Facebook 的最佳解答
台灣最大公約數 – 反共去統不反中
The True Common Denominator of Taiwan
我察覺到一個新的台灣共識(最大公約數)正在成形,而且已經接近完成。雖然許多人還沒意識到這點,也還有一些人尚處在無感、或雖然有感但心理上拒絕的階段。
I sensed a New Taiwan Consensus is forming and near completion, although many are still not fully aware of it, some at the psychological stage of ignoring it and some even in total denial .
這新共識可以用三個原素的一句話來總結:反共、去統、不反中國平民。三元素環環相扣,構成了一個具有主旋律的直白命題:那些已經把台灣視為自己家鄉的人,已經把台灣當成一個與他方無涉的主體。
This New Consensus can be summarized in one expression with three parallel elements: opposing communism, de-unification and neutralness toward Chinese civilians. These three elements constitute an organic whole with a common theme that simply says, people who took Taiwan as their home deemed themselves as one distinct entity .
為了讓人們充分理解這三元素的意義,需要做一些進一步闡釋。我們這就開始。
I understand some elaboration may be needed to allow the three elements to be fully appreciated, especially the third one. Let me begin.
1. 反共。台灣其實並沒有那麼反對自由的社會主義;事實上,台灣社會本身在日常生活型態中就含有明顯的自由社會主義的痕跡。但是,台灣絕不會容忍社會主義精神脫序到共產主義的地步。若然,那種社會主義就是敵人,沒有討論的餘地。台灣海峽彼岸的中國共產黨(CCP),就屬於這一類。
1. Opposing Communism – Taiwan is not that much against liberal socialism. In fact,there is a rather obvious strain of it already existing in its social life. However, Taiwan would not tolerate socialism when carried away to the extent of communism, and would take it as enemy. Period. Chinese Communist Party (CCP) on the other end of the Strait falls into this category.
2. 去統。在台灣,不但老一輩了解中共天天掛在嘴邊玩弄的「統一」,只不過是其用來維持政權、控制已經被洗過腦平民的一種虛偽口號,而年輕一輩只會以荒謬視之。因而,此處並沒有用過去的「反統」一詞,而是用「去統」,表示了一種將「統一」概念徹底由腦中去除的意思。就像「大掃除」的意思一樣,老早就該扔掉的東西就把它扔掉。
2. De-Unification – Not only do the older generations realize that the jingling of
“unification” of the CCP is just a bogus slogan for upholding its regime’s control
over the brain-washed civilians, the young generation of Taiwan simply finds the
slogan ridiculous. Therefore, rather than using the term “anti-Unification” as people used to do in the past, I think “De-Unification” – the unshackling of the very idea of unification, as one can relate with the word “de-clutter”- is a better suited term.
3. 不反中,指的是對中國平民保持中性的態度。過去三年間,包括我自己以及國際輿論,已經破除了那個存在已久的迷思 – 中共CCP就等同中國。情況根本不是這樣的。中共不等同中國,更不用說等同中國人民了。中共是一個具有9千8百萬黨員的巨大政黨,但那只是住在那塊土地上的14億人當中的7%。
3. Neutralness towards Chinese Civilians – In the past three years, people in Taiwan including myself, as well as the international community, have debunked the long-existed myth that CCP Is China. No, far from it. CCP is NOT equivalent to China, let alone the Chinese people. CCP is a huge party of 98 million members and that accounts for only 7% of the 1.4 billion Chinese people living on that landmass.
簡單的算數就可以呈現真相。對任何國家,如果僅佔7%的人口可以在政治上完全控制100%的人口,唯一的可能就是實施殘酷暴力或通過暴力改變人的頭腦。
Simple math would tell the truth. In any nation, when 7% of the population politically controls 100% of the population, it would be an impossibility unless by brutal violence or total brain coercion.
中國平民本身就是受害者。其他的國家,不應該膝蓋反應式的把受害者視為天生就是邪惡的。因此,無論在心態上還是現實地緣政治考慮下,台灣社會都應該把「必反」這詞留給共產黨而不是受害的平民。
Therefore, considering the Chinese civilians are victims themselves, people from other parts of the world should not act in a knee-jerk way towards the ordinary, victimized Chinese Civilians as if they are born evil. Either under a proper mindset or the practicality associated with geopolitics, Taiwanese society should and is starting to understand this point. “Anti-“ is an attitude reserved for CCP and not intrinsically for the ordinary and mostly victimized civilians.
這才是台灣的最大公約數。然而,為了選票的政治人物及民調機構拖累了台灣。每年每月的民調都在問早已失效的問題:你偏藍還是偏綠?你贊成獨立還是統一?
Putting together the above three Elements, thus there is the New Taiwan Consensus. What’s falling behind and dragging Taiwan’s feet, are the ballot-hungry politicians and the various outdated polling agencies. They do so many so-called popular surveys every year, sometimes monthly. And they stick to the long invalid way of setting up their survey questions: Are you favoring Green (DPP) or Blue(KMT)? Are you pro-independent or Pro-unification?
這種自我設限或自我審查的問法,使得其他國家以為台灣是個分裂社會。
This kind of self-confined or self-censored surveys leave other nations the impression that Taiwan is a split society, Green or Blue, Independence or unification etc.
台灣這種導致外人認為台灣是個分裂國家的作法,實在愚蠢。如果問的問題對,台灣是沒有分裂的。例如,如果將「你贊不贊成獨立」改為「你反共不反共」,結果肯定是98%以上。
It’s such a foolish thing to do for Taiwan itself misleading outsiders into deeming Taiwan as a split country. There is absolutely no split should the right questions be asked in the surveys. For example, had the question been changed from “Are you pro-independence or anti-independence” into “Are you pro-communism or anti-communism”,then the result would have been a clear-cut 98% or even 99.5% towards “anti”.
若問「你是反中國共產黨還是反中國老百姓」,前者不會低於80%,後者不會高於20%。
Now, try this further question: “Are you anti-Chinese Communist Party, or anti-Chinese common people”, my guess is the former gets at least 80% and the latter gets 20% at most.
第三個問題:「你願不願意被共產黨統治」,保證結果是99.9%的「不願意」。
The third question: “Would you be willing to live under the Communist Rule”? That would guarantee a resounding NO answer of 99.9%.
這就是新台灣共識、社會的最大公約數,應該向世界大聲、清楚、不含糊的說出來。
This is exactly how the New Taiwan Consensus looks like – the true common denominator among a seemingly divided Taiwan. And the New Taiwan Consensus should be articulated to the rest of the world, no vagueness, no grey area and unambiguously.
不信的話,可以用上述問題做幾次民調。而且我保證,在不久的將來,所有民主國家都會端出類似「台灣共識」的政策原則。
For any surveyor or politician who still has doubts about this New Taiwan Consensus, he or she can just conduct new surveys with questions suggested as above. And, I myself am convinced, in a not-so-distant future, all democratic countries on the planet would issue national policies based on guidelines similar to the New Taiwan Consensus, for the goodness of their respective countries.
所以,台灣為什麼不這樣做呢?這可是台灣展示世界政治領導力的機會啊!
So, Hey, Taiwan! Why not put a thrust on this Taiwan Consensus to the world by publicizing it unambiguously and show some political leadership, just for once?
後記:以雙語向全球發聲,將是我接下致力的方向。所使用的這兩種文字,涵蓋了35億人口,接近地球的一半人數。這個行動,將以 「前哨預策」網站 為核心基地,其他的社交媒體,只要有傳播力道,都會被用為衛星來做整體運作。
個人的思考、判斷不一定對,您也不見得同意,但是,我保證這平台中的每一句話都是獨立的、出自內心的。而今天的台灣,乃至於世界,最缺的就是突破傳統成見、不受黨派左右、同時又知錯能改的獨立思考力量。不知您是否同意?
「前哨預策」平台將分為三步走:內容平台 – 互動平台 – 行動平台。剛誕生的它,當前還只是個內容平台,但達到一定數量的會員支持後,將加入各種新媒體形式,與會員就重要議題互動,並以「達成不同意見之間的最大公約數」為目標。一旦在會員內部形成「最大公約數」後,就構成了行動的基礎。至於行動的形式,也由願意推動或參與的會員決定。
此平台婉拒任何政黨、政府的贊助,只接受個人會員或企業會員的贊助;所有收入及贊助,均將用於「讓台灣更好」的事務上,以及推動、發揮台灣作為東亞及世界的「關鍵少數」的槓桿角色,為人類下一波文明做出量力而為的貢獻。
我只能說,十年來的不斷保持獨立,希望能換得您對「不受任何政黨、政府左右」這一點點價值的認同。
范疇
謹上
於台灣
首頁鏈接: InsightFan.com
訂閱鏈接: https://www.insightfan.com/membershipspricing/
the future is in the past意思 在 Eric's English Lounge Facebook 的最佳解答
[時事英文] 名副其實的世界要處:台灣
Pound for Pound, Taiwan Is the Most Important Place in the World
什麼是 「pound for pound」?
音檔: https://www.instagram.com/p/CI10jkZFgql/
★★★★★★★★★★★
The Cold War between the United States and the Soviet Union perpetually threatened to spark conflict in nations all over the world, including battles over the control of a vast array of natural and industrial resources. The new Cold War, between the United States and China, is increasingly focused on access to just one industry in one place: computer chips made in Taiwan.
spark (v.) conflict 引發衝突
the control (n.) of 控制~
a vast array of 各示各樣的
computer chips 電腦晶片
美、蘇之間的冷戰永遠威脅著全世界並使各國引發衝突,諸如在控制大自然和工業資源方面的鬥爭。在美、中之間的新冷戰中,越來越多人關注一個首屈一指的產業:台灣製造的電腦晶片。
★★★★★★★★★★★
Over the past year, Taiwan has taken a lead in the race to build thinner, faster and more powerful chips, or semiconductors. Its fastest chips are the critical building blocks of rapidly evolving digital industries like artificial intelligence and high-speed computing.
take the lead in sth 在某方面領先
semiconductor 半導體
building blocks 重要的組成中心 ; 建構組元
digital industries 數位產業
artificial intelligence 人工智慧
high-speed computing 高速計算
在過去的一年中,台灣在製造更薄、更快、更強大的晶片或半導體處於領先地位;它最快的晶片在數位產業的組成佔有一席之地,其中像是快速發展的人工智慧和高速計算。
★★★★★★★★★★★
The thinnest chips will be powering the coming “internet of things,” in which homes, cars, appliances and even clothes will connect to smartphones and voice-activated speakers over 5G networks.
power (v.) 為…提供動力,驅動
the internet of things 物聯網
appliances 裝置
voice-activated (adj.) 聲控
5G networks 5G網路
最薄的晶片將為即將到來的「物聯網」提供動力,其中家庭、汽車、家電甚至衣服都將通過5G網路連接到智慧型手機和聲控喇叭。
★★★★★★★★★★★
As of now, any country looking to dominate the digital future has to buy these superfast, ultrathin chips from either Taiwan or South Korea. And Taiwan has the edge in both technology and market power.
dominate the digital future 主宰數位的未來
ultrathin chips 超薄的晶片
have an edge in 有優勢
到目前為止,任何想在未來數位科技獨領風騷的國家都必須從台灣或韓國購買這些超快速、超薄的晶片,而台灣在技術和市場力量方面都有優勢。
★★★★★★★★★★★
It is a small island of just 24 million people, but it is at the center of the battle for global technological supremacy. Pound for pound, it is the most important place in the world. As the Cold War between China and the United States intensifies, that importance will only continue to grow.
at the center of 在~的中心
the battle for global technological supremacy 全球技術龍頭之爭
pound for pound 貨真價實,名副其實,名不虛傳*
intensify 強化;增強
台灣是一個只有2400萬人的小島,但它卻是全球技術龍頭之爭的中心。這是世界上名副其實的要處。隨著中、美之間的冷戰加劇,台灣的地位只會日趨重要。
*Pound for pound 字面意思是: 同樣重量的情況下。首先出現在拳擊領域,用來形容某一重量級別的某一拳擊手在與其同級別和不同級別的拳手相比較之下的實力和價值。
★★★★★★★★★★★
資料來源: 《紐約時報》
http://nyti.ms/3mhOEWg
★★★★★★★★★★★★
時事英文講義:https://bit.ly/2XmRYXc
【國際新聞英文】https://bit.ly/36ucwRZ
the future is in the past意思 在 八三夭831【想見你想見你想見你Miss You 3000】電視劇「想 ... 的推薦與評價
... from past to future, 我只想見你I want to see you once more. ... 未來先進科技無法模擬What future high-tech unable to simulate, 你擁抱暖 ... ... <看更多>
the future is in the past意思 在 美語入門| The past is in your head, but the future is in your hands 的推薦與評價
(the future) 未來/將來/前途、hand 手. ◎文法/釋字:. 1、past有幾種詞性,意思也不同. (1)介系詞. ① 經過,如She walked past me.(她從我身邊走過。). ... <看更多>