因為一篇文章,受邀對兩位美國大使簡報
Presentality英文寫作分析:
前總統府英文演講撰稿人Andrew Yang在華府智庫工作時,因為寫了一篇文章,受邀對兩位大使演講。當時,他只是個22歲大學剛畢業的實習生。文章到底哪裡好?其實他那時也不太理解。
多年後的今天,他把文章的最初稿貼出來,分析他覺得為何會得到美國政策圈的專注:
★★★★★★★★★★★★
Dear Mr. Yang,
Your PacNet piece is the best thing I’ve read. Would you be interested in coming to New York to brief us on the topic?
★★★★★★★★★★★★
📌 這是我在華府戰略暨國際研究中心 (CSIS) 任職的時候,收到的一封 email。寄件人我早已經久仰大名,曾任美國駐中國大使。他跟另一位前大使正要前往中國,希望出發前邀請我到紐約跟他們簡報。
但我收到那封信,非常困惑。因為那時的我,才22歲。我剛大學畢業不久,在智庫也還只是個實習生。兩位德高望重的大使,為何會想要把我飛到紐約去跟他們簡報?
★★★★★★★★★★★★
他們 email 裡說是因為看到我寫的文章:“PacNet piece”。
那是我生平第一次寫政策分析評論,是某個週末心血來潮寫的。寫完之後發給我老闆 (也是一位知名的中國專家),他居然直接打我手機 (never happened before) 然後問:「這是你寫的?真的是你自己寫的?沒有其他人幫你?是你寫的?」
我跟他保證我沒有抄襲之後,他就把我的文做了一些修改,然後刊登到CSIS旗下太平洋論壇 (Pacific Forum) 的刊物 PacNet。隔週,華府的兩岸政策專家居然開始討論這篇文,然後文章又被其他國際媒體轉載。
然後我就接到這兩位大使的邀約。我一路都很困惑。
★★★★★★★★★★★★
📌 文章… 到底好在哪裡?
老實說… 我那時真的不知道。在文章刊登前,我就只是會議室角落的那個實習生,默默地聽那些地位崇高的專家演講。刊登後,聽到那些專家討論我寫的東西 (但不知道是角落的這個小孩寫的),我還是不知道到底戳到了什麼點。
後來我就遺忘了它。17年之後的今天 (哎呀,透露自己年紀了) 回去看,我才看出一點點頭緒。 有三個點,值得跟各位分享,希望對你的英文寫作有幫助。最重要的點,我放在最後,所以你也可以直接跳到後面看。
一點背景:這篇文章的主題是台灣跟美國政府的溝通。2004年寫的時候,陳水扁面臨選舉壓力,推公投,讓美國很不爽。台灣官方很多團來美國跟 CSIS 等智庫見面 (畢竟不能直接見美國政府),但溝通效果不佳。我這篇文章就是討論溝通為何沒有成果。
★★★★★★★★★★★★
📌 1. 寫的很假掰,有時也有用處
我回去看的第一個感想就是:我的媽呀,怎麼這麼假掰!?用一大堆很長的字跟句子,既班門弄斧,又超級難唸…
你看看這段:
Yet officials and experts from Taiwan have been unwilling to tread into the domestic political dimensions of the referendum, and instead steadfastly insist that it is necessitated by international conditions.
這是什麼鬼東西?
“tread into the domestic political dimensions of the referendum”? “Necessitated by international conditions”?
“Steadfastly insist”? 反正就是把一堆音節很多的字,串成很多很長的句子就對了。
所以,寫的不好對不對?其實也不一定。評估文筆的好壞,沒有一定的標準,就看你的讀者喜歡哪種口吻。
Is your writing good or bad? It’s your readers who decide.
那個時候的我,是一位22歲的實習生,面對的是美國政策圈的專家們,其中很多是研究所的教授,用字遣詞都很「知識份子」(不像我公司今天的客戶,都是只說接地氣白話文的創業家)。所以:
•我沒有寫 “low point”,而是寫 “nadir”
•不是寫 “toned down enough”,而是 “sufficiently moderated”
•不寫 “fits with”,而是 “accords with”
我看了都很想打我自己。可是… 就因為我的用字像一位政策分析 (或學術) 的人會寫的,才會讓對方覺得「這個是自己人」。反而是我的老闆會精神錯亂,因為這文筆跟他辦公室外面的那個小毛頭,反差太大。
所以有時候,用很複雜的專業字眼,是一種「建立可信度」的方式。反而在你變成你的領域的佼佼者之後,就可以大剌剌的用白話文,因為沒有人會質疑你的可信度。
★★★★★★★★★★★★
📌 2. 專業之餘,還是要玩點文字遊戲
專業歸專業,偶爾還是要來點文字遊戲,讓讀者「喔」一下,不然一直用 “policy speak” (政策的語言,無聊但是精準),沒人想要看下去。
這裡就是一段「文字遊戲」:
Taiwan believes that yelling is the only recourse when its hands are tied, and that the referendum is a rather loud amplifier.
我還記得當時這樣寫的目的,就是要給讀者畫面:把台灣想成一個人,雙手被綁住,就只能大叫,公投就被我比喻成擴音器。
下一段,我就繼續用「樂器」的比喻:
But the way Taiwan has been voicing its opinions is flawed, and repeatedly beating this broken old drum for weeks to American ears has clearly proved counterproductive.
我還記得一位同事看到這段的時候,抬頭對我說:「我還不知道你滿會寫的耶」。這就是我要看到的效果。*不過為何要從「擴音器」變成「鼓」?我也不知道。
總之,在你的文中撒一些好玩的效果,有助於讓讀者繼續看。
★★★★★★★★★★★★
📌 3. 但遠比文筆還重要的,是寫到人家心坎裡
即使我的文筆再好,它還是不是關鍵。畢竟華府每天有那麼多文章刊出,很多人文筆比我還要好,為何是我的這篇得到關注?
我現在回去分析,認為是我有「寫到美國人讀者的心坎裡」。
要了解這個點,必須回溯一下背景。我那時是實習生嘛 (不過文章刊登時突然被晉升為研究助理),工作就是安排大大小小的會議,其中很多是台灣的官員跟專家帶團來美國,幾乎都會來 CSIS 因為是主要智庫之一。
在一次次的會議中,我看台灣方很用力的解釋,但美方卻越來越不耐煩。然後下一個訪團光臨,也說同樣的話,然後美方就更不耐煩。我恍然大悟,看到問題在哪裡,才會「心血來潮」的寫了這篇文。
因為我每天都跟美方的政策專家混在一起,很自然的就用「他們的話」把事情寫出來,而且還把他們的情緒寫進去:
Most folks in Washington… believe that the referendum is first and foremost an election gambit.
…true allies do not undermine each other’s interests for immediate political gains. That Taipei fails to see this is mind boggling, and simply infuriates the Americans.
No more one-sided complaints about Beijing or its cozy relations with America in front of U.S. officials who still feel betrayed and want apologies.
很多屬於情緒的字眼對不對:mind boggling, infuriating, feel betrayed, want apologies, etc.
這些話,都是他們身處外交場合,擺在心裡但說不出來的話。突然有人如此直白的寫出來,也等於是為他們宣洩了一些情緒。
這提醒了我一件事:溝通時,把對方的情緒表達出來,有時比任何精闢理性的論點都要強大。
★★★★★★★★★★★★
📌 需要Andrew寫的政策分析評論和分析,請留言「I want to read the PacNet piece!」。
★★★★★★★★★★★★
Presentality每天都在追蹤與分析跟英文溝通/寫作有關的文章,如果想要透過我們這些「閱讀筆記」一起學習,可在 FB 追蹤我們:https://www.facebook.com/presentality/
📌 Presentality系列文章:
1. 看貝佐斯致亞馬遜股東的最後一封信,學一些英文寫作小撇步
https://bit.ly/3xCN1cC
2. 英文演講實用的結構與技巧
https://bit.ly/2PHu3Ax
3. 在演講中的四種敘述角度
https://bit.ly/39tNUtv
4. 詩人Amanda Gorman的英文演講技巧
https://bit.ly/39sI3on
5. 從 Most Dangerous Place 文章,看經濟學人寫作邏輯
https://bit.ly/3htqJEs
6. 寫作的終極目標是「提供價值」
https://bit.ly/3yA3gYe
7. 看 Bloomberg學資深記者如何寫文章
https://bit.ly/3i3am1P
8. 用字遣詞的敏感度
https://bit.ly/3pvVA5n
圖片出處: https://careers.csis.org/
同時也有79部Youtube影片,追蹤數超過123的網紅Lia Hasty,也在其Youtube影片中提到,Hi ? I want to share my current favorite anti-aging treatment serum Enriched ‘???????? ???? ???? ???’ from ???'? ?????. Enriched with plant ? extract...
toned down 在 Purpletiff Facebook 的最讚貼文
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toned down 在 Apple Daily - English Edition Facebook 的最佳貼文
A textbook for 12-year-old students in Hong Kong has toned down its passages on the city's constitutional order, Apple Daily has found.
Read: https://bit.ly/2N7Zzpr
《蘋果》發現,教育出版社的新版小六常識書修改了有關一國兩制的描述,包括刪去香港實行原有資本主義、政治及法律制度的內容,僅指兩地的執法機關、中文字體及公眾假期等不同。
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toned down 在 Lia Hasty Youtube 的最佳解答
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toned down 在 Chloe Ting Youtube 的精選貼文
Brand new 10 mins arms and abs workout! This video is part of the 4 weeks Summer Shred Challenge. Please leave a comment down below with how you went, and also feel free to join my community on discord if you need motivation.
✚ Free Program Schedule
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Droeloe - Looking Back
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Droeloe - Sunburn
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#workouts #fitness #chloeting #chloetingchallenge #hiit
IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: Some people may see my video titles as click-bait. YouTubers optimise their video's meta data for discovery due to how the algorithm is like. This isn't anything new. Most people who've been watching YouTube for years would understand this. If you're unhappy and get triggered by this, well, this channel isn't for you then. I’ve provided free workout schedules and programs since day 1 and have always optimised my meta data as such so that's not going to change.
Having said that, it doesn't mean the workout do not work. You will still see results by following a suitable program schedule, watching your diet, being in a deficit or surplus (based on your goals), doing exercises in good form, etc. These are all equally important factors. You're not going to get abs, grow a booty, grow biceps magically from 1 or 2 videos, in 1, 2, 3 or 4 weeks cause everyone is different. I've explain multiple times throughout videos throughout my channel over years that it takes time and lots of factors, so don't take a video title out of context. Targetting fat loss is not scientifically proven. Everyone is different and it takes time.
When doing any home workouts, do take precaution to exercise in a safe environment, and if you need help or you're not seeing results, I suggest seeing a health and fitness professional to give you tailored advice on your exercise form and dietary needs. I am not a medical professional and what I share on my channel are my views and what has worked for myself. Your health and safety is the utmost importance so find out what works for you.
toned down 在 Chloe Ting Youtube 的精選貼文
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✚ Music by
Droeloe - Looking Back (SEM Remix)
Watch: https://youtu.be/tVvxaDkE33Q
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Droeloe - Looking Back
Watch: https://youtu.be/x8nagi2oIds
Download / Stream: https://bitbird.lnk.to/amatterofperspective
Droeloe - Homebound
Watch: https://youtu.be/r1Iuk4fq1PY
Download / Stream: https://bitbird.lnk.to/amatterofperspective
Duskus - Closed
Watch: https://youtu.be/dRCTnmXa1jA
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#workouts #fitness #chloeting
IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: Some people may see my video titles as click-bait. YouTubers optimise their video's meta data for discovery due to how the algorithm is like. This isn't anything new. Most people who've been watching YouTube for years would understand this. If you're unhappy and get triggered by this, well, this channel isn't for you then. I’ve provided free workout schedules and programs since day 1 and have always optimised my meta data as such so that's not going to change.
Having said that, it doesn't mean the workout do not work. You will still see results by following a suitable program schedule, watching your diet, being in a deficit or surplus (based on your goals), doing exercises in good form, etc. These are all equally important factors. You're not going to get abs, grow a booty, grow biceps magically from 1 or 2 videos, in 1, 2, 3 or 4 weeks cause everyone is different. I've explain multiple times throughout videos throughout my channel over years that it takes time and lots of factors, so don't take a video title out of context. Targetting fat loss is not scientifically proven. Everyone is different and it takes time.
When doing any home workouts, do take precaution to exercise in a safe environment, and if you need help or you're not seeing results, I suggest seeing a health and fitness professional to give you tailored advice on your exercise form and dietary needs. I am not a medical professional and what I share on my channel are my views and what has worked for myself. Your health and safety is the utmost importance so find out what works for you.