💕「愛台灣,我的選擇」系列第16發:熱愛台灣詩的美國學者白瑞梅(Amie Parry)
「我在加州內陸地區一個叫做聖伯納迪諾的小城市長大,隨後在聖地牙哥念大學和研究所,並獲得文學博士學位。求學期間我們必須至少選修一門外語,所以我就選了中文。1987年我大學畢業之後,跟朋友來了台灣一趟,在台灣教英文和學中文六個月,接著就自己一個人當起背包客在亞洲四處旅遊。
我本來想要研究中國古典詩詞,後來因為獲得傅爾布萊特獎學金,便又再度回到台灣。當時我在討論詩詞的聚會上認識了幾位現代派詩人,所以我就將研究主題轉而聚焦在台灣60、70和80年代的現代詩。我的博士論文探討的就是,以現代主義來理解現有政治語言中難以理解的現代性。我認為歷史形塑而來的經驗,往往比語言本身還要複雜。
我研究的那些詩作沒有明確的政治性,反而是有很強的實驗性質,並帶著詭譎的神秘感。當時我認識的現代派詩人大多是跟著國民黨飄洋過海來台的外省人,他們經歷過戰爭和顛沛流離,也經歷過劇烈且痛苦的歷史創傷。每個人的經驗都不同,在那個年代,也很難說出口。後來,我寫了一本關於詩的書,並聚焦在一兩位我覺得特別有趣的詩人。我在書中問了一些類似的問題:這些詩作如何幫你思考艱難的議題?
當時的現代詩已經頗有制度,許多詩人都有投稿《現代詩》這份重要的詩刊,有些詩人則是將詩作與戲劇結合。整體而言,台灣的現代詩、表演藝術和文學都發展地如火如荼,也深深吸引了我,但我還未全盤了解。當我完成博士論文時,我便獲得交通大學的教職,讓我對台灣的學術圈感到非常驚艷。而當我出版第一本著作時,我也很訝異能在美國獲獎;我根本不知道自己獲得提名,當時我問授獎單位:「為什麼選擇我的書?」他們表示:「因為書中其中一個章節是以跨國的架構來進行整體論述,妳不是單用西方的理論和東方的詩詞,而是從東西方共同錘煉出嶄新的知識。」
我目前任教於中央大學英美語文學系,除了擔任系主任之外,我也有教授寫作課、文學課和文學文化理論課程。從我1987年第一次來台灣到現在,我覺得台灣人愈來愈能自在地與來自不同地方的人交談,就個人經驗來說,我認為台灣社會愈來愈開放。我第一次來台灣時,經歷了許多台灣社會有趣的發展,也結交了許多朋友,並認識了許多學術圈的同好。我想,這些珍貴的回憶就是呼喚我再度回台的動力;就像是,如果你覺得這個社會充滿生氣和活力,而你也能夠參與其中、做出貢獻,我想這就是像家一樣的感覺吧!」
✨白瑞梅 Amie Parry 現為中央大學英美語文學系 專任教授
💕Why I chose Taiwan #16 – Amie Parry
“I grew up in a small city in inland California called San Bernardino. I went to college and graduate school in San Diego. I got my PhD in literature. We were all expected to learn at least one language, so I did Chinese. I traveled to Taiwan with a friend right after I graduated from college in 1987. We came here to teach English and study Chinese for six months, then I traveled around Asia by myself with a backpack.
I originally wanted to study classical Chinese poetry. I got a Fulbright grant and I came back here. I started going to the poetry nights that were happening at that time. I met some of the modernist poets, and I switched my focus to the modernist poetry of the 60s, 70s, and 80s in Taiwan. I wrote my dissertation on modernism as a way of understanding the parts of modernity that are hard to know in the existing political language that we inherit. I think that experience in historical formation is always more complicated than the language.
These poems are not explicitly political; they're very experimental and strange. At the time, the modernist poets I met were mostly 外省, men who had been drafted and come over with the KMT, so they had experienced war and displacement, and a very intense and traumatic historical moment. People experienced it differently, and at that time, it was a hard thing to talk about. Later, I wrote a book about poetry, but I just focused on one or two poets I find really, really fascinating. And I was asking some of the same kinds of questions: how can these poems help you think about certain topics that are hard to think about?
At that time, Modernist poetry was a kind of an institution already. There was a journal called 現代詩, “Modern Poetry,” a really important journal that most of these poets were published in. Some of them combined poetry and theater. There's just so much going on in Taiwan in terms of poetry and performance and literature. It's just amazing. And I'm very interested in it at all, but I haven't kept up. After I finished my dissertation, I got a job offer at 交大. I thought, wow, there's something really amazing happening intellectually here. When my first book came out, it actually got an award in the U.S., and I was so surprised. I didn't even know it had been nominated. I asked them, ‘Why did you choose my book?’ And they said, because one of the chapters has a transnational of framework for the whole argument, so it wasn't like you used Western theories and Eastern texts, it's like the whole knowledge part is coming out of both places.
I currently teach in the English department at National Central University. I'm the chair and I teach writing classes, literature classes, and literary and cultural theory classes. Since my first visit to Taiwan in 1987, I think people are a little more comfortable talking to people from different places. In my personal interactions, I feel a difference, like a greater openness. Back then, there were so many interesting things happening here, all at one time, and that's the time that I happened to be here. And I made good friends in my personal life and in my intellectual life. And I think those are the things that made me come back: like if you feel that there's something interesting happening and there's some way that you can support it. I guess that's a way of feeling at home.” — Amie Parry
✨Amie Parry is professor of the Department of English at the National Central University
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這是前些日子爆出已經被加拿大法院接理對藏傳佛教噶舉派法王的訟訴。(加拿大法院鏈接在此:https://www.bccourts.ca/jdb-txt/sc/21/09/2021BCSC0939cor1.htm?fbclid=IwAR2FLZlzmUIGTBaTuKPVchEqqngcE3Qy6G_C0TWNWVKa2ksbIYkVJVMQ8f8)
這位法王的桃色事件,我是幾年前才聽到。但,藏傳佛教的高層有這些性醜聞,我已經聽了幾十年。我以前的一位前女友也被一些堪布藉故上她的家摟抱過,也有一些活佛跟她表白。(這不只是她,其他地方我也聽過不少)
這是一個藏傳佛教裡面系統式的問題。
很多時候發生這種事情,信徒和教主往往都是說女方得不到寵而報仇,或者說她們也精神病,或者說她們撒謊。
我不排除有這種可能性,但,多過一位,甚至多位出來指證的時候,我是傾向於相信『沒有那麼巧這麼多有精神病的女人要撒謊來報仇』。
大寶法王的桃色事件,最先吹哨的是一位台灣的在家信徒,第二位是香港的女出家人,現在加拿大又多一位公開舉報上法庭。
對大寶法王信徒來說,這一次的比較麻煩,因為是有孩子的。(關於有孩子的,我早在法王的桃色事件曝光時,就有聽聞)
如果法庭勒令要驗證DNA,這對法王和他的信徒來說,會很尷尬和矛盾,因為做或不做,都死。
你若問我,我覺得『人數是有力量的』,同時我也覺得之後有更多的人站出來,是不出奇的。
我也藉此呼籲各方佛教徒,如果你們真的愛佛教,先別說批判,但如鴕鳥般不討論這些爭議,你是間接害了佛教。
(下面是我從加拿大法院鏈接拷貝下來的內容,當中有很多細節。)
Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION
BACKGROUND
ANALYSIS
A. The Spousal Support Claim in this Case
B. The Test to Amend Pleadings
C. Pleadings in Family Law Cases
D. The Legal Concept of a Marriage-Like Relationship
E. Is There a Reasonable Claim of a Marriage-Like Relationship?
F. Delay / Prejudice
CONCLUSION
INTRODUCTION
[1] The claimant applies to amend her notice of family claim to seek spousal support. At issue is whether the claimant’s allegations give rise to a reasonable claim she lived with the respondent in a marriage-like relationship, so as to give rise to a potential entitlement to spousal support under the Family Law Act, S.B.C. 2011, c. 25 (“FLA”).
[2] The facts alleged by the claimant do not fit within a traditional concept of marriage. The claimant does not allege that she and the respondent ever lived together. Indeed, she has only met the respondent in person four times: twice very briefly in a public setting; a third time in private, when she alleges the respondent sexually assaulted her; and a fourth and final occasion, when she informed the respondent she was pregnant with his child.
[3] The claimant’s case is that what began as a non-consensual sexual encounter evolved into a loving and affectionate relationship. That relationship occurred almost entirely over private text messages. The parties rarely spoke on the telephone, and never saw one another during the relationship, even over video. The claimant says they could not be together because the respondent is forbidden by his station and religious beliefs from intimate relationships or marriage. Nonetheless, she alleges, they formed a marriage-like relationship that lasted from January 2018 to January 2019.
[4] The respondent denies any romantic relationship with the claimant. While he acknowledges providing emotional and financial support to the claimant, he says it was for the benefit of the child the claimant told him was his daughter.
[5] The claimant’s proposed amendment raises a novel question: can a secret relationship that began on-line and never moved into the physical world be like a marriage? In my view, that question should be answered by a trial judge after hearing all of the evidence. The alleged facts give rise to a reasonable claim the claimant lived with the respondent in a marriage-like relationship. Accordingly, I grant the claimant leave to amend her notice of family claim.
BACKGROUND
[6] It should be emphasized that this is an application to amend pleadings only. The allegations by the claimant are presumed to be true for the purposes of this application. Those allegations have not been tested in a court of law.
[7] The respondent, Ogyen Trinley Dorje, is a high lama of the Karma Kagyu School of Tibetan Buddhism. He has been recognized and enthroned as His Holiness, the 17th Gyalwang Karmapa. Without meaning any disrespect, I will refer to him as Mr. Dorje in these reasons for judgment.
[8] Mr. Dorje leads a monastic and nomadic lifestyle. His true home is Tibet, but he currently resides in India. He receives followers from around the world at the Gyuto Monetary in India. He also travels the world teaching Tibetan Buddhist Dharma and hosting pujas, ceremonies at which Buddhists express their gratitude and devotion to the Buddha.
[9] The claimant, Vikki Hui Xin Han, is a former nun of Tibetan Buddhism. Ms. Han first encountered Mr. Dorje briefly at a large puja in 2014. The experience of the puja convinced Ms. Han she wanted to become a Buddhist nun. She met briefly with Mr. Dorje, in accordance with Kagyu traditions, to obtain his approval to become a nun.
[10] In October 2016, Ms. Han began a three-year, three-month meditation retreat at a monastery in New York State. Her objective was to learn the practices and teachings of the Kagyu Lineage. Mr. Dorje was present at the retreat twice during the time Ms. Han was at the monastery.
[11] Ms. Han alleges that on October 14, 2017, Mr. Dorje sexually assaulted her in her room at the monastery. She alleges that she became pregnant from the assault.
[12] After she learned that she was pregnant, Ms. Han requested a private audience with Mr. Dorje. In November 2017, in the presence of his bodyguards, Ms. Han informed Mr. Dorje she was pregnant with his child. Mr. Dorje initially denied responsibility; however, he provided Ms. Han with his email address and a cellphone number, and, according to Ms. Han, said he would “prepare some money” for her.
[13] Ms. Han abandoned her plan to become a nun, left the retreat and returned to Canada. She never saw Mr. Dorje again.
[14] After Ms. Han returned to Canada, she and Mr. Dorje began a regular communication over an instant messaging app called Line. They also exchanged emails and occasionally spoke on the telephone.
[15] The parties appear to have expressed care and affection for one another in these communications. I say “appear to” because it is difficult to fully understand the meaning and intentions of another person from brief text messages, especially those originally written in a different language. The parties wrote in a private shorthand, sharing jokes, emojis, cartoon portraits and “hugs” or “kisses”. Ms. Han was the more expressive of the two, writing more frequently and in longer messages. Mr. Dorje generally participated in response to questions or prompting from Ms. Han, sometimes in single word messages.
[16] Ms. Han deposes that she believed Mr. Dorje was in love with her and that, by January 2018, she and Mr. Dorje were living in a “conjugal relationship”.
[17] During their communications, Ms. Han expressed concern that her child would be “illegitimate”. She appears to have asked Mr. Dorje to marry her, and he appears to have responded that he was “not ready”.
[18] Throughout 2018, Mr. Dorje transferred funds in various denominations to Ms. Han through various third parties. Ms. Han deposes that these funds were:
a) $50,000 CDN to deliver the child and for postpartum care she was to receive at a facility in Seattle;
b) $300,000 CDN for the first year of the child’s life;
c) $20,000 USD for a wedding ring, because Ms. Han wrote “Even if we cannot get married, you must buy me a wedding ring”;
d) $400,000 USD to purchase a home for the mother and child.
[19] On June 19, 2018, Ms. Han gave birth to a daughter in Richmond, B.C.
[20] On September 17, 2018, Mr. Dorje wrote, ”Taking care of her and you are my duty for life”.
[21] Ms. Han’s expectation was that the parties would live together in the future. She says they planned to live together. Those plans evolved over time. Initially they involved purchasing a property in Toronto, so that Mr. Dorje could visit when he was in New York. They also discussed purchasing property in Calgary or renting a home in Vancouver for that purpose. Ms. Han eventually purchased a condominium in Richmond using funds provided by Mr. Dorje.
[22] Ms. Han deposes that the parties made plans for Mr. Dorje to visit her and meet the child in Richmond. In October 2018, however, Mr. Dorje wrote that he needed to “disappear” to Europe. He wrote:
I will definitely find a way to meet her
And you
Remember to take care of yourself if something happens
[23] The final plan the parties discussed, according to Ms. Han, was that Mr. Dorje would sponsor Ms. Han and the child to immigrate to the United States and live at the Kagyu retreat centre in New York State.
[24] In January 2019, Ms. Han lost contact with Mr. Dorje.
[25] Ms. Han commenced this family law case on July 17, 2019, seeking child support, a declaration of parentage and a parentage test. She did not seek spousal support.
[26] Ms. Han first proposed a claim for spousal support in October 2020 after a change in her counsel. Following an exchange of correspondence concerning an application for leave to amend the notice of family claim, Ms. Han’s counsel wrote that Ms. Han would not be advancing a spousal support claim. On March 16, 2020, counsel reversed course, and advised that Ms. Han had instructed him to proceed with the application.
[27] When this application came on before me, the trial was set to commence on June 7, 2021. The parties were still in the process of discoveries and obtaining translations for hundreds of pages of documents in Chinese characters.
[28] At a trial management conference on May 6, 2021, noting the parties were not ready to proceed, Madam Justice Walkem adjourned the trial to April 11, 2022.
ANALYSIS
A. The Spousal Support Claim in this Case
[29] To claim spousal support in this case, Ms. Han must plead that she lived with Mr. Dorje in a marriage-like relationship. This is because only “spouses” are entitled to spousal support, and s. 3 of the Family Law Act defines a spouse as a person who is married or has lived with another person in a marriage-like relationship:
3 (1) A person is a spouse for the purposes of this Act if the person
(a) is married to another person, or
(b) has lived with another person in a marriage-like relationship, and
(i) has done so for a continuous period of at least 2 years, or
(ii) except in Parts 5 [Property Division] and 6 [Pension Division], has a child with the other person.
[30] Because she alleges she has a child with Mr. Dorje, Ms. Han need not allege that the relationship endured for a continuous period of two years to claim spousal support; but she must allege that she lived in a marriage-like relationship with him at some point in time. Accordingly, she must amend the notice of family claim.
B. The Test to Amend Pleadings
[31] Given that the notice of trial has been served, Ms. Han requires leave of the court to amend the notice of family claim: Supreme Court Family Rule 8-1(1)(b)(i).
[32] A person seeking to amend a notice of family claim must show that there is a reasonable cause of action. This is a low threshold. What the applicant needs to establish is that, if the facts pleaded are proven at trial, they would support a reasonable claim. The applicant’s allegations of fact are assumed to be true for the purposes of this analysis. Cantelon v. Wall, 2015 BCSC 813, at para. 7-8.
[33] The applicant’s delay, the reasons for the delay, and the prejudice to the responding party are also relevant factors. The ultimate consideration is whether it would be just and convenient to allow the amendment. Cantelon, at para. 6, citing Teal Cedar Products Ltd. v. Dale Intermediaries Ltd. et al (1986), 19 B.C.L.R. (3d) 282.
C. Pleadings in Family Law Cases
[34] Supreme Court Family Rules 3-1(1) and 4-1(1) require that a claim to spousal support be pleaded in a notice of family claim in Form F3. Section 2 of Form F3, “Spousal relationship history”, requires a spousal support claimant to check the boxes that apply to them, according to whether they are or have been married or are or have been in a marriage-like relationship. Where a claimant alleges a marriage-like relationship, Form F3 requires that they provide the date on which they began to live together with the respondent in a marriage-like relationship and, where applicable, the date on which they separated. Form F3 does not require a statement of the factual basis for the claim of spousal support.
[35] In this case, Ms. Han seeks to amend the notice of family claim to allege that she and Mr. Dorje began to live in a marriage-like relationship in or around January 2018, and separated in or around January 2019.
[36] An allegation that a person lived with a claimant in a marriage-like relationship is a conclusion of law, not an allegation of fact. Unlike the rules governing pleadings in civil actions, however, the Supreme Court Family Rules do not expressly require family law claimants to plead the material facts in support of conclusions of law.
[37] In other words, there is no express requirement in the Supreme Court Family Rules that Ms. Han plead the facts on which she relies for the allegation she and Mr. Dorje lived in a marriage-like relationship.
[38] Rule 4-6 authorizes a party to demand particulars, and then apply to the court for an order for further and better particulars, of a matter stated in a pleading. However, unless and until she is granted leave and files the proposed amended notice of family claim, Ms. Han’s allegation of a marriage-like relationship is not a matter stated in a pleading.
[39] Ms. Han filed an affidavit in support of her application to amend the notice of family claim. Normally, evidence would not be required or admissible on an application to amend a pleading. However, in the unusual circumstances of this case, the parties agreed I may look to Ms. Han’s affidavit and exhibits for the facts she pleads in support of the allegation of a marriage-like relationship.
[40] Because this is an application to amend - and Ms. Han’s allegations of fact are presumed to be true - I have not considered Mr. Dorje’s responding affidavit.
[41] Relying on affidavit evidence for an application to amend pleadings is less than ideal. It tends to merge and confuse the material facts with the evidence that would be relied on to prove those facts. In a number of places in her affidavit, for example, Ms. Han describes her feelings, impressions and understandings. A person’s hopes and intentions are not normally material facts unless they are mutual or reasonably held. The facts on which Ms. Han alleges she and Mr. Dorje formed a marriage-like relationship are more important for the present purposes than her belief they entered into a conjugal union.
[42] Somewhat unusually, in this case, almost all of the parties’ relevant communications were in writing. This makes it somewhat easier to separate the facts from the evidence; however, as stated above, it is difficult to understand the intentions and actions of a person from brief text messages.
[43] In my view, it would be a good practice for applicants who seek to amend their pleadings in family law cases to provide opposing counsel and the court with a schedule of the material facts on which they rely for the proposed amendment.
D. The Legal Concept of a Marriage-Like Relationship
[44] As Mr. Justice Myers observed in Mother 1 v. Solus Trust Company, 2019 BCSC 200, the concept of a marriage-like relationship is elastic and difficult to define. This elasticity is illustrated by the following passage from Yakiwchuk v. Oaks, 2003 SKQB 124, quoted by Myers J. at para. 133 of Mother 1:
[10] Spousal relationships are many and varied. Individuals in spousal relationships, whether they are married or not, structure their relationships differently. In some relationships there is a complete blending of finances and property - in others, spouses keep their property and finances totally separate and in still others one spouse may totally control those aspects of the relationship with the other spouse having little or no knowledge or input. For some couples, sexual relations are very important - for others, that aspect may take a back seat to companionship. Some spouses do not share the same bed. There may be a variety of reasons for this such as health or personal choice. Some people are affectionate and demonstrative. They show their feelings for their “spouse” by holding hands, touching and kissing in public. Other individuals are not demonstrative and do not engage in public displays of affection. Some “spouses” do everything together - others do nothing together. Some “spouses” vacation together and some spend their holidays apart. Some “spouses” have children - others do not. It is this variation in the way human beings structure their relationships that make the determination of when a “spousal relationship” exists difficult to determine. With married couples, the relationship is easy to establish. The marriage ceremony is a public declaration of their commitment and intent. Relationships outside marriage are much more difficult to ascertain. Rarely is there any type of “public” declaration of intent. Often people begin cohabiting with little forethought or planning. Their motivation is often nothing more than wanting to “be together”. Some individuals have chosen to enter relationships outside marriage because they did not want the legal obligations imposed by that status. Some individuals have simply given no thought as to how their relationship would operate. Often the date when the cohabitation actually began is blurred because people “ease into” situations, spending more and more time together. Agreements between people verifying when their relationship began and how it will operate often do not exist.
[45] In Mother 1, Mr. Justice Myers referred to a list of 22 factors grouped into seven categories, from Maldowich v. Penttinen, (1980), 17 R.F.L. (2d) 376 (Ont. Dist. Ct.), that have frequently been cited in this and other courts for the purpose of determining whether a relationship was marriage-like, at para. 134 of Mother 1:
1. Shelter:
(a) Did the parties live under the same roof?
(b) What were the sleeping arrangements?
(c) Did anyone else occupy or share the available accommodation?
2. Sexual and Personal Behaviour:
(a) Did the parties have sexual relations? If not, why not?
(b) Did they maintain an attitude of fidelity to each other?
(c) What were their feelings toward each other?
(d) Did they communicate on a personal level?
(e) Did they eat their meals together?
(f) What, if anything, did they do to assist each other with problems or during illness?
(g) Did they buy gifts for each other on special occasions?
3. Services:
What was the conduct and habit of the parties in relation to:
(a) preparation of meals;
(b) washing and mending clothes;
(c) shopping;
(d) household maintenance; and
(e) any other domestic services?
4. Social:
(a) Did they participate together or separately in neighbourhood and community activities?
(b) What was the relationship and conduct of each of them toward members of their respective families and how did such families behave towards the parties?
5. Societal:
What was the attitude and conduct of the community toward each of them and as a couple?
6. Support (economic):
(a) What were the financial arrangements between the parties regarding the provision of or contribution toward the necessaries of life (food, clothing, shelter, recreation, etc.)?
(b) What were the arrangements concerning the acquisition and ownership of property?
(c) Was there any special financial arrangement between them which both agreed would be determinant of their overall relationship?
7. Children:
What was the attitude and conduct of the parties concerning children?
[46] In Austin v. Goerz, 2007 BCCA 586, the Court of Appeal cautioned against a “checklist approach”; rather, a court should "holistically" examine all the relevant factors. Cases like Molodowich provide helpful indicators of the sorts of behaviour that society associates with a marital relationship, the Court of Appeal said; however, “the presence or absence of any particular factor cannot be determinative of whether a relationship is marriage-like” (para. 58).
[47] In Weber v. Leclerc, 2015 BCCA 492, the Court of Appeal again affirmed that there is no checklist of characteristics that will be found in all marriages and then concluded with respect to evidence of intentions:
[23] The parties’ intentions – particularly the expectation that the relationship will be of lengthy, indeterminate duration – may be of importance in determining whether a relationship is “marriage-like”. While the court will consider the evidence expressly describing the parties’ intentions during the relationship, it will also test that evidence by considering whether the objective evidence is consonant with those intentions.
[24] The question of whether a relationship is “marriage-like” will also typically depend on more than just their intentions. Objective evidence of the parties’ lifestyle and interactions will also provide direct guidance on the question of whether the relationship was “marriage-like”.
[48] Significantly for this case, the courts have looked to mutual intent in order to find a marriage-like relationship. See, for example, L.E. v. D.J., 2011 BCSC 671 and Buell v. Unger, 2011 BCSC 35; Davey Estate v. Gruyaert, 2005 CarswellBC 3456 at 13 and 35.
[49] In Mother 1, Myers J. concluded his analysis of the law with the following learned comment:
[143] Having canvassed the law relating to the nature of a marriage-like relationship, I will digress to point out the problematic nature of the concept. It may be apparent from the above that determining whether a marriage-like relationship exists sometimes seems like sand running through one's fingers. Simply put, a marriage-like relationship is akin to a marriage without the formality of a marriage. But as the cases mentioned above have noted, people treat their marriages differently and have different conceptions of what marriage entails.
[50] In short, the determination of whether the parties in this case lived in a marriage-like relationship is a fact-specific inquiry that a trial judge would need to make on a “holistic” basis, having regard to all of the evidence. While the trial judge may consider the various factors listed in the authorities, those factors would not be treated as a checklist and no single factor or category of factors would be treated as being decisive.
E. Is There a Reasonable Claim of a Marriage-Like Relationship?
[51] In this case, many of the Molodowich factors are missing:
a) The parties never lived under the same roof. They never slept together. They were never in the same place at the same time during the relationship. The last time they saw each other in person was in November 2017, before the relationship began.
b) The parties never had consensual sex. They did not hug, kiss or hold hands. With the exception of the alleged sexual assault, they never touched one another physically.
c) The parties expressed care and affection for one another, but they rarely shared personal information or interest in their lives outside of their direct topic of communication. They did not write about their families, their friends, their religious beliefs or their work.
d) They expressed concern and support for one another when the other felt unwell or experienced health issues, but they did not provide any care or assistance during illness or other problems.
e) They did not assist one another with domestic chores.
f) They did not share their relationship with their peers or their community. There is no allegation, for example, that Mr. Dorje told his fellow monks or any of his followers about the relationship. There is no allegation that Ms. Han told her friends or any co-workers. Indeed, there is no allegation that anyone, with the exception of Ms. Han’s mother, knew about the relationship. Although Mr. Dorje gave Ms. Han’s mother a gift, he never met the mother and he never spoke to her.
g) They did not intend to have a child together. The child was conceived as a result of a sexual assault. While Mr. Dorje expressed interest in “meeting” the child, he never followed up. He currently has no relationship with the child. There is no allegation he has sought access or parenting arrangements.
[52] The only Molodowich factor of any real relevance in this case is economic support. Mr. Dorje provided the funds with which Ms. Han purchased a condominium. Mr. Dorje initially wrote that he wanted to buy a property with the money, but, he wrote, “It’s the same thing if you buy [it]”.
[53] Mr. Dorje also provided a significant amount of money for Ms. Han’s postpartum care and the child’s first year of life.
[54] This financial support may have been primarily for the benefit of the child. Even the condominium, Ms. Han wrote, was primarily for the benefit of the child.
[55] However, in my view, a trial judge may attach a broader significance to the financial support from Mr. Dorje than child support alone. A trial judge may find that the money Mr. Dorje provided to Ms. Han at her request was an expression of his commitment to her in circumstances in which he could not commit physically. The money and the gifts may be seen by the trial judge to have been a form of down payment by Mr. Dorje on a promise of continued emotional and financial support for Ms. Han, or, in Mr. Dorje’s own words, “Taking care of her and you are my duty for life” (emphasis added).
[56] On the other hand, I find it difficult to attach any particular significance to the fact that Mr. Dorje agreed to provide funds for Ms. Han to purchase a wedding ring. It appears to me that Ms. Han demanded that Mr. Dorje buy her a wedding ring, not that the ring had any mutual meaning to the parties as a marriage symbol. But it is relevant, in my view, that Mr. Dorje provided $20,000 USD to Ms. Han for something she wanted that was of no benefit to the child.
[57] Further, Ms. Han alleges that the parties intended to live together. At a minimum, a trial judge may find that the discussions about where Ms. Han and the child would live reflected a mutual intention of the parties to see one another and spend time together when they could.
[58] Mr. Dorje argues that an intention to live together at some point in the future is not sufficient to show that an existing relationship was marriage-like. He argues that the question of whether the relationship was marriage-like requires more than just intentions, citing Weber, supra.
[59] In my view, the documentary evidence referred to above provides some objective evidence in this case that the parties progressed beyond mere intentions. As stated, the parties appear to have expressed genuine care and affection for one another. They appear to have discussed marriage, trust, honesty, finances, mutual obligations and acquiring family property. These are not matters one would expect Mr. Dorje to discuss with a friend or a follower, or even with the mother of his child, without a marriage-like element of the relationship.
[60] A trial judge may find on the facts alleged by Ms. Han that the parties loved one another and would have lived together, but were unable to do so because of Mr. Dorje’s religious duties and nomadic lifestyle.
[61] The question I raised in the introduction to these reasons is whether a relationship that began on-line and never moved into the physical world can be marriage-like.
[62] Notably, the definition of a spouse in the Family Law Act does not require that the parties live together, only that they live with another person in a marriage-like relationship.
[63] In Connor Estate, 2017 BCSC 978, Mr. Justice Kent found that a couple that maintained two entirely separate households and never lived under the same roof formed a marriage-like relationship. (Connor Estate was decided under the intestacy provisions of the Wills, Estates and Succession Act, S.B.C. 2009, c. 13 ("WESA"), but courts have relied on cases decided under WESA and the FLA interchangeably for their definitions of a spouse.) Mr. Justice Kent found:
[50] The evidence is overwhelming and I find as a fact that Mr. Chambers and Ms. Connor loved and cared deeply about each other, and that they had a loving and intimate relationship for over 20 years that was far more than mere friendship or even so-called "friendship with benefits". I accept Mr. Chambers' evidence that he would have liked to share a home with Ms. Connor after the separation from his wife, but was unable to do so because of Ms. Connor's hoarding illness. The evidence amply supports, and I find as a fact, that Mr. Chambers and Ms. Connor loved each other, were faithful to each other, communicated with each other almost every day when they were not together, considered themselves to be (and presented themselves to be) "husband and wife" and were accepted by all who knew them as a couple.
[64] Connor Estate may be distinguishable from this case because Mr. Chambers and Ms. Connor were physically intimate for over 20 years, and presented themselves to the world as a married couple.
[65] Other decisions in which a marriage-like relationship has been found to exist despite the parties not living together have involved circumstances in which the couple lived under the same roof at previous points in the relationship, and the issue was whether they continued to be spouses after they took up separate residences: in Thompson v. Floyd, 2001 BCCA 78, the parties had lived together for a period of at least 11 years; in Roach v. Dutra, 2010 BCCA 264, the parties had lived together for approximately three years.
[66] However, as Mr. Justice Kent noted in Connor Estate:
[48] … [W]hile much guidance might be found in this case law, the simple fact is that no two cases are identical (and indeed they usually vary widely) and it is the assessment of evidence as a whole in this particular case which matters.
[67] Mr. Justice Kent concluded:
[53] Like human beings themselves, marriage-like relationships can come in many and various shapes. In this particular case, I have no doubt that such a relationship existed …
[68] As stated, Ms. Han’s claim is novel. It may even be weak. Almost all of the traditional factors are missing. The fact that Ms. Han and Mr. Dorje never lived under the same roof, never shared a bed and never even spent time together in person will militate against a finding they lived with one another in a marriage-like relationship. However, the traditional factors are not a mandatory check-list that confines the “elastic” concept of a marriage-like relationship. And if the COVID pandemic has taught us nothing else, it is that real relationships can form, blossom and end in virtual worlds.
[69] In my view, the merits of Ms. Han’s claim should be decided on the evidence. Subject to an overriding prejudice to Mr. Dorje, she should have leave to amend the notice of family claim. However, she should also provide meaningful particulars of the alleged marriage-like relationship.
F. Delay / Prejudice
[70] Ms. Han filed her notice of family claim on July 17, 2019. She brought this application to amend approximately one year and nine months after she filed the pleading, just over two months before the original trial date.
[71] Ms. Han’s delay was made all that more remarkable by her change in position from January 19, 2021, when she confirmed, through counsel, that she was not seeking spousal support in this case.
[72] Ms. Han gave notice of her intention to proceed with this application to Mr. Dorje on March 16, 2021. By the time the application was heard, the parties had conducted examinations for discovery without covering the issues that would arise from a claim of spousal support.
[73] Also, in April, Ms. Han produced additional documents, primarily text messages, that may be relevant to her claim of spousal support, but were undecipherable to counsel for Mr. Dorje, who does not read Mandarin.
[74] This application proceeded largely on documents selected and translated by counsel for Ms. Han. I was informed that Mandarin translations of the full materials would take 150 days.
[75] Understandably in the circumstances, Mr. Dorje argued that an amendment two months before trial would be neither just nor convenient. He argued that he would be prejudiced by an adjournment so as to allow Ms. Han to advance a late claim of spousal support.
[76] The circumstances changed on May 6, 2021, when Madam Justice Walkem adjourned the trial to July 2022 and reset it for 25 days. Madam Justice Walkem noted that most of the witnesses live internationally and require translators. She also noted that paternity may be in issue, and Mr. Dorje may amend his pleadings to raise that issue. It seems clear that, altogether apart from the potential spousal support claim, the parties were not ready to proceed to trial on June 7, 2021.
[77] In my view, any remaining prejudice to Mr. Dorje is outweighed by the importance of having all of the issues between the parties decided on their merits.
[78] Ms. Han’s delay and changes of position on spousal support may be a matter to de addressed in a future order of costs; but they are not grounds on which to deny her leave to amend the notice of family claim.
CONCLUSION
[79] Ms. Han is granted leave to amend her notice of family claim in the form attached as Appendix A to the notice of application to include a claim for spousal support.
[80] Within 21 days, or such other deadline as the parties may agree, Ms. Han must provide particulars of the marriage-like relationship alleged in the amended notice of family claim.
[81] Ms. Han is entitled to costs of this application in the cause of the spousal support claim.
“Master Elwood”
you are my friend'' in chinese 在 Hapa Eikaiwa Facebook 的最佳貼文
☆ネイティブの生の会話からリアルな英語を学ぶ☆
=================================
1) In terms of(〜に関して)
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「〜に関して」は様々な表現方法がありますが、その1つがin terms ofです。regardingやas forも同じ意味で使うことができますが、両者がビジネスなどフォーマルな場面で使われる傾向があるのに対し、in terms ofはカジュアルでもフォーマルでも使うことができます。
<例文>
In terms of food, I can eat pretty much anything.
(食べ物に関しては、基本なんでも食べられます。)
In terms of weather, you can’t beat LA.
(天気に関しては、ロスが最高です。)
In terms of language, Japanese and English are very different.
(言語に関しては、英語と日本語は大きく異なります。)
=================================
2) Debt(借金)
=================================
debtは「借金」を意味します。「借金をする」はget/go into debt、「借金がある」はbe in debt、「借金から抜け出す」はget out of debtのように表現し、組み合わせる動詞と前置詞によって意味が異なります。
<例文>
Make sure you pay off your credit card every month or else you’ll get into debt.
(毎月必ずクレジットカードを完済しないと、借金を抱えることになるよ。)
He’s financially struggling right now. He’s in a lot of debt.
(彼は今お金に苦労していて、多額の借金があります。)
I paid off my loans and finally got out of debt.
(ローンを完済してやっと借金から解放されました。)
=================================
3) Who wants to ____?(〜したい人なんていないでしょう)
=================================
「Who wants to ____?」を直訳すると「〜したい人はいますか?」ですが、日常会話では皮肉を込めて「〜したい人なんていないでしょう?」といった意味で使われます。例えば、今日の会話でサムは、「Who wants to do Chinese at 8 in the morning?」と言いますが、ここでは「午前8時に中国語を勉強したい人はいますか?」と問いかけているのではなく、「午前8時に中国語を勉強したい人なんていないでしょう?」を意味します。この表現は「Nobody wants to ____.」と同じ意味合いになります。
<例文>
Who wants to waste their money and time on this?
(こんなことにお金と時間を無駄にしたい人なんていないでしょう?)
Who wants to wait in line for three hours for a hamburger?
(ハンバーガーのために3時間も並びたい人なんていないでしょう?)
Who wants to spend hundreds of dollars when you can get it for free online?
(ネットで無料で手に入れられるのに、何百ドルも払う人なんていないでしょう。)
=================================
4) It just happened to be that way(たまたまそうなった)
=================================
happen toは偶然の出来事に対して使われる表現で、「たまたま〜である」を意味します。日常会話ではjustと一緒に組み合わせて使う傾向があり、偶然起こったことをさらに強調します。例えば、「たまたまそうなりました」は「It just happened to be that way.」、「駅でばったり高校時代の友達に会いました」は「I just happened to see my high school friend at the train station.」と言います。
✔ちなみに、Do you happen to ____? と疑問形にすると「ひょっとして〜?」になり、Do you ____?よりも控えめな尋ね方になります。
<例文>
One thing led to another and it just happened to be that way.
(あれこれあって、たまたまそうなりました。)
I saw Tom in Paris. We just happened to be visiting Paris at the same time.
(パリでトムに会ったよ。たまたま同じ時期にパリを訪れていたんだ。)
Do you happen to have a phone charger on you?
(ひょっとして携帯の充電器って持ってたりする?)
=================================
5) I have to admit(正直に言うと)
=================================
admitは何かが事実であると認めることを意味することから、I have to admitは「正直に言うと」を意味します。「正直に言うと」はto be honestやto tell you the truthなど様々な表現の仕方がありますが、I have to admitは、「恥ずかしいけど認めざるを得ない」気持ちを表すときに使われることが多いです。
<例文>
I have to admit, I didn’t study much English when I was in high school.
(正直なところ、私は高校生の時あまり英語を勉強していませんでした。)
I have to admit, I screwed up. That was all my fault.
(失敗を認めざるを得ません。全ては私の責任です。)
I have to admit, I didn’t prepare for the presentation and I just winged it.
(正直言うと、プレゼンの準備をせずに即興でやりました。)
〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜
本日ご紹介したフレーズは、iTunes Japanの「ベストポッドキャスト」に2017から4年連続選出されたHapa英会話の人気コンテンツPodcast第338回「大学生活を振り返る」の内容の一部です。Podcastの全内容をご覧になりたい方は、Hapa英会話のブログをチェック!会話の全文、会話の要約、ピックアップしたフレーズ、ポッドキャストでは説明できなかった表現や言い回しが掲載されています。
https://hapaeikaiwa.com/podcast338
〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜
you are my friend'' in chinese 在 Xiaomanyc 小马在纽约 Youtube 的最讚貼文
Click to get a $30 discount and sign up for my Chinese course: https://bit.ly/3liqmMO (and make sure you click on “Add Coupon Code’’ and enter coupon code STREETSMART)…if you want to learn how to order bubble tea in Mandarin! Anyway, today me and my friend @Dave Disci Vlogs decided to taste test five bubble tea / boba tea spots in NYC that have gone viral on TikTok and Instagram and see if they live up to the hype. The places, with links to some of the TikToks they’ve been featured in, are:
Honestea
173 Hester St, New York, NY 10013
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMepCwnPU/
Tiger Sugar
197 Canal St, New York, NY 10013
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMepXdhjd/
Smoove
279 Grand St, New York, NY 10002
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMepCtkC7/
Machi Machi
33 W 32nd St, New York, NY 10001
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMepVdeq9/
Biao Sugar
1271 Broadway, New York, NY 10001
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMepC4UCT/
0:00 Check out my Chinese course!
0:37 Intro
1:04 Honestea
5:11 Smoove Ice Cream
7:28 Tiger Sugar
8:39 Machi Machi
10:33 BIAO Sugar
Apologies for the weird autofocus issues in this video, I just upgraded my camera’s firmware and have been having some issues!
Want to learn fluent Chinese like me? Sign up for my free newsletter and discover how you can pick up Chinese or other languages quickly using my weird but effective method: http://bit.ly/37gTpLc
Subscribe to my channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLNoXf8gq6vhwsrYp-l0J-Q?sub_confirmation=1
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If you guys like the music in my videos, you can check out all the AMAZING music Epidemic Sound has at my affiliate link here: http://share.epidemicsound.com/xiaomanyc
you are my friend'' in chinese 在 kelkeltan Youtube 的最佳解答
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LET'S BE FRIENDS !
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Refer a friend to get $10 OFF!
PRODUCTS MENTIONED :
FAQ
WHO AM I ?
I'm a Singaporean Chinese living in my homeland Singapore ??! I love makeup, skincare, traveling and etc!? I make beauty and lifestyle videos and upload 2 times every week (MON & FRI). If u like watching such content and if u have ANY questions/opinions/ideas, rmb to comment down below and SUBSCRIBE ❤️
TECH
Vlog camera : Canon G7x mark 2 / iPhone 11 camera
Tutorial camera : Canon 80D
Software for editing : Final Cut Pro X
SKIN TYPE?
I have combination, acne-prone, sensitive skin.
WATCH THIS TO FIND OUT HOW I CLEARED MY ACNE :
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BINGE WATCH THESE PLAYLISTS :
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BACK TO BASICS/HOW TO : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2k26Lzpo58&list=PLdOFpCwJxGJeO10rN3Q_OiGwXH_5wf3OL
MAKEUP SWATCHES : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAeIBldLUG8&list=PLdOFpCwJxGJfkwWFHIyTCdMmlwmiSpeuS
FASHION : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dv-X_q9BaNU&list=PLdOFpCwJxGJdbtbj_RTJJ_cqUHSNivLMH
VLOGS : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKoNY3AMIqU&list=PLdOFpCwJxGJdv2XN9e1_IxiKrlpnRLGzq
(^ω^)
This video is not sponsored and all opinions are my true and honest feedback.
you are my friend'' in chinese 在 kelkeltan Youtube 的最佳解答
Hihi my lovely potatoes, i hope you guys had an amazing day! These are all the lashes we have available at shopkelkeltan.com ! It would mean the world to me if you guys could support my small biz. Love yall.
You can get your magnetic lashes now (We ship outside Singapore too!) at: https://shopkelkeltan.com/collections/mlen-magnetic-lashes
OR
https://shopee.sg/shopkelkeltan
#shopkelkeltan #magneticlashes #falsies
LET'S BE FRIENDS !
Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/kelkeltan/?hl=en
Twitter
https://mobile.twitter.com/kelkeltan
Tiktok
@kelkeltan_
BIZ
Business enquiries & PR events
Drop me a mail at :
Kelkeltansocial@gmail.com
SHOP MY BEAUTY PRODUCTS :
https://shopkelkeltan.com/
Refer a friend to get $10 OFF!
PRODUCTS MENTIONED :
FAQ
WHO AM I ?
I'm a Singaporean Chinese living in my homeland Singapore ??! I love makeup, skincare, traveling and etc!? I make beauty and lifestyle videos and upload 2 times every week (MON & FRI). If u like watching such content and if u have ANY questions/opinions/ideas, rmb to comment down below and SUBSCRIBE ❤️
TECH
Vlog camera : Canon G7x mark 2 / iPhone 11 camera
Tutorial camera : Canon 80D
Software for editing : Final Cut Pro X
SKIN TYPE?
I have combination, acne-prone, sensitive skin.
WATCH THIS TO FIND OUT HOW I CLEARED MY ACNE :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uFILZRGW6E&t=795s
BINGE WATCH THESE PLAYLISTS :
COLOURPOP : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzukEsWe4lY&list=PLdOFpCwJxGJe6wkx8UhD0AJVX8GO1l6b6
FENTY BEAUTY : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dEoBzWdRqU&list=PLdOFpCwJxGJd3omgbja4vfIO5Yx5q7DAo
BACK TO BASICS/HOW TO : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2k26Lzpo58&list=PLdOFpCwJxGJeO10rN3Q_OiGwXH_5wf3OL
MAKEUP SWATCHES : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAeIBldLUG8&list=PLdOFpCwJxGJfkwWFHIyTCdMmlwmiSpeuS
FASHION : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dv-X_q9BaNU&list=PLdOFpCwJxGJdbtbj_RTJJ_cqUHSNivLMH
VLOGS : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKoNY3AMIqU&list=PLdOFpCwJxGJdv2XN9e1_IxiKrlpnRLGzq
Music are all from https://app.hellothematic.com/
Music by frumhere - my momma - https://thmatc.co/?l=380704E0
(^ω^)
This video is not sponsored and all opinions are my true and honest feedback.
you are my friend'' in chinese 在 JT Seumalu I'll Find You There My Friend 中文歌詞 - Facebook 的推薦與評價
JT Seumalu I'll Find You There My Friend · 記得有一個地方叫前生,與我心愛朋友同住,後來開了會設立計劃和為了選擇我會來此,救主曾說尋找迷失羊,教導引領他們回家,我 ... ... <看更多>